Hypothesis: You can judge the merits of any band/venue on the basis of its web presence.

The Roxy: According to The Roxy website, the wait for nearly 30 months was over last year, when what was once a heritage-listed movie theatre turned decided to turn it’s back on the silver screen and open the doors to local residents looking for more in life than a 6-pack of JB and Coke and an iron crowbar can offer.

It’s hard to find anything pre-2002 regarding the Roxy on the net aside from cinema session times. Thankfully, since it’s reinvention as a ‘state of the art entertainment complex’, an abundance of commentary can be found on the topic of this new hotspot, from the validating:

’.....at the last minute I show up and the place was going off. There was live percussion and 10 different areas. It was sikbro…’

to the skeptical:

’..keep your wits about you in Parramatta. I’ve lived close by for many years and there are a lot of angry people around there…’

To the incorrectly googled:

‘Roxy BBQ provides an amazing an authentic selection of noodles and Chinese meals…’

The majority of comments I found however spoke highly of the new Roxy – the refurbishment has been well done, the sound-system is top quality, the mock-burlesque house ‘beds’ positioned around the bar are an interesting touch.  Drinks are too expensive – fortunately I had a vial of brake-fluid in my pocket which carried me through the night…..

You’ll have to excuse me for having an emotional attachment to the now-forgotten cinema – this was the place I first saw ‘Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey’, a harrowing journey into the human psyche upon which I would later base my life.  

Rephrase:  According to our very own pages here at ITM, Rephrase is ‘the brain-child of Jamie Olsen’ who ‘focuses primarily on melodic texture and cinematic qualities’. This could easily be discounted as a reference to navel-gazing, which fortunately, is not the case. Rephrase played an excellent set at the Roxy – both his selection and skill should have attracted more attention from the crowd. Management at The Roxy should probably note that moving tables so that they are directly in front of the live performer, at a gig, is probably not a good way to encourage crowd involvement.

Minor web presence, quality musician.

Regal: A web presence which seems to be limited only to coverage by street-press and, of course, ITM, Regal quite adequately dropped a range of disco-tinged breaks, which, aside from Elation’s live set, had the most number of people dancing. Conversely, both this set and Elation’s experienced the most amount of people sitting outside – although this seemed to be more a reaction to the lack of seating inside than the quality of the music. Another good quality mix.

2-UP:  2-up’s website greets the visitor with a startling message announcing ‘This account has been suspended’ – but no more than a week ago the casual web trawler could check out the latest news from Winter 2004 and join the sizeable group of fans on their forum. As an alternative, one can log into Oz Hip Hop Forums and participate in some heated discussion regarding, but not limited to – 2-Up’s authenticity, 2-Up’s sexual preferences, the nature of celebrity, why Triple J are wack, why Triple J have ruined Ozzie Hip Hop for good, man, and why if something is funny it is not actually music.

If Breaker J or Maccy D decided to remove their site, are experiencing monetary issues, or have received too many hits from people looking for somewhere to gamble on Anzac day was indeterminable on Saturday night. Despite a lack of involvement from the crowd, their set was typically strong – simile laden, proudly Australian hip hop backed by well produced beats and featuring some genuine personality. With at least a couple of years of live shows under their belts, 2-Up are a strong live act, featuring an underrated DJ with some excellent scratching skills. They are in need of a Roxy-style reinvention soon though lest they find their way onto a National Trust list.

Elation:  On the basis of my web research, I went to this show on the premise that Elation would be either ‘a five piece groove collective to soothe my soul’ or ‘A comprehensive guide to Choirs and Vocal Ensembles operating in metropolitan Melbourne’ – either way I was interested.

Turns out they are the former, and have a formidable amount of equipment (at least compared to the previous acts) they use to help the listener feel like he/she is on a copious amount of valium.  These guys are technically proficient and have a crisp, professional live sound, but sit in a grey area musically – too slow to be drum and bass, too fast to be soul, not bass-heavy enough to be hip hop – which is why, at a guess, they are frequently likened to the likes of Morcheeba and Moloko – both, funnily enough, considered bands that ‘kinda sound like other bands.’ Somewhere, hiding in this six degrees of musical separation, is a talented, promising band just waiting to find their own distinct style and move away from lazy trip-hop associations.

Elation (not the choir in Melbourne) also have an excellent, well designed website, which features as a background a multitude of descriptors, which could easily serve as a reviewer’s lexicon. The amount of work that has gone into this site is indicative of a band that takes its music seriously – and has obviously put a huge amount of work into their songs too. This is without a doubt a band to keep an eye on.

Results: Absolutely no comparison can be drawn between apparent web presence and the quality of an individual live performance. In fact, to base a review on such a comparison indicates a direct correlation between thetourist’s brake-fluid consumption and sloppy, misguided writing.