When people asked me what I wanted for my birthday, I came up with a list which was very similar to the little ‘Set Times’ poster on the wall of the Chinese Laundry on Saturday night. The 6th of May took another year from my life and also saw US Tech guru DJ Dan bring a load of dirty records to the Laundry.

The best thing about this club is that it provides a 3 in one experience, with different rooms catering to different styles of music and atmosphere. I arrived as the sandbar opened, people spilling in from the cold like they were at a Myer New Years sale, but at this particular venue the only thing that was on the shelf was funk and disco, laid down by local Mo’Funk who got the ladies up nice and early like a sexual alarm clock. Canberra Phono-Pimp Steve Lind was up next and had me wanting to get naked and break-dance with some fat party tunes, solid as usual from this impressive up and comer.

I then headed down as the Laundry was opening with Matt Nugent, doing his best Hugh Laurie impersonation (ie – playing ‘House’). Matt is as diverse as a DJ gets, consistently filling slots all over the place in all three rooms, this particular night saw him bust out some perfectly weighted house records that almost made me forget who was playing next. The vibe in this room is amazing, coupled with the fact that the venue seems to have a poser filter in at the front door that sifts out the mannequins it really allows you to focus having a good time.

One of my earliest mixing memories is my friend busting out a copy of ‘The Zipper Track’ on the belt driven American DJs and blowing me away (not literally as I have no absolutely no affiliation with Dick Cheney). It was the start of an aural love affair with the man they call DJ Dan, years later I find myself salivating on the dance floor of the laundry only minutes away from seeing him at work, and the crowd was bouncing around like someone had just dumped a bucket of sweaty super balls from the roof. Disco pinball at its finest.

His bangin style of tech driven bouncy tribal electro had me stroking my chin so feverishly that I now have a rash to show my friends. I danced, I clapped, I wish I was still there… it was that good. I didn’t really recognise any of the tunes he played except for the previously mentioned classic, but the set never lost energy, constantly building up and breaking down before smashing into another filthy head caver which had the room going mental like Stewie Griffin passing a ‘Disneyworld’ sign. Tearing myself away from his set to experience the other rooms was like ripping off a bandaid, painful but necessary.

The cave at 3am was dark and inviting like the complete opposite of a 7/11, and from what I heard Synik had smashed the opening set and filled the room nicely for Trix, who was in the middle of an awesome peak time performance that had the place rocking out like we were in a whole different venue. It amazes me how the vibe can be spread over so many rooms all the time.

Upstairs, Koolism’s Danielsan was showing what all the hype is about, throwing down what was to be a 3 hour set, never losing the floor with a blend of old, new and unheard of block party hip hop and funky floor fillers. Simply, The boy has skills; it seems he has learned a lot more behind the decks since Mr Miyagi taught him the basic ‘Wax on and Wax off’.

Back to the Cave and the Bang Gang boys Gus and Jamie were dropping so many bombs you would have thought they were Americans liberating Iraq. At this stage I remembered I hadn’t gone back to the Laundry in a while (it was my birthday and I had consumed a fair few confusingly named beverages) so I ducked and weaved my way back to the booth to see Mark Dynamix closing out the night with so many hands in the air it was like he was holding a gun.

Birthdays and confusing imagery aside, the night cemented my love affair with Chinese Laundry. She is a tempting mistress, always there with her ridiculously inviting line-ups and friendly variety of patrons. I no longer consider the $10 a ‘cover charge’ its rent…coz I’m moving in.