Since I still haven’t made my way to Europe yet, and therefore any appearances at Ibiza, perhaps the next best thing was for Ibiza to come to me, in the form of Pacha, which is one of the top clubs on the island. Pacha brought their show on the road to Australia on the Queen’s Birthday Weekend with a host of internationally respected DJ’s, including headliner Benny Benassi from Italy, Sarah Main and Serge Santiago, resident DJs at the Pacha club in Ibiza, Carl Kennedy, Dirty South and TV Rock.

As I first entered Room 680, I was inundated with a set décor that had been meticulously branded “Pacha”, straight down to the red cherry decorations hanging from the ceiling, to the metallic Pacha sign in front of the mid-air suspended DJ deck on stage.

Dirty South (not the Southern Atlanta rap style), best known for his remix of Evermore—It’s Too Late, had the enviable but thankless task of opening the show to a sold-out crowd that started lining up at 10 PM for doors open. The crowd huddled around the perimeter of the dancefloor as if there was an invisible barrier, and didn’t really penetrate the inner sanctum until the end of his hour long set.

TV Rock (Grant Smilie, Ivan Gough), architects of the smash hit Flaunt It that has moved over 100,000 units were next for a 90 minute set. Furiously twisting knobs and pushing buttons, the showman of the group was clearly Grant, who quickly shedded his yellowish brown leather jacket as the tunes and the crowd started heating up. The 20 minute buildup for Supermode—Tell Me Why was akin to waiting for the payoff of tantric sex—wait for it, wait for it… Other crowd pleasers included mixes of Rage Against the Machine—Killing in the Name, The Similou—All This Love, a remix of Snap—The Power (NovaRock—We Got the Power), and they even delighted the crowd with their future hit, which includes a sample of the Tears for Fears classic Shout.

At 12:30 AM, Sarah Main hit the stage for an hour, and she didn’t disappoint with her blend of sexiness and funky grooves. According to one bystander, she’s the most underrated DJ’s on the scene. The crowd got to see two sides of Sarah, as the first 20 minutes, she was very quiet and controlled, but after that, she let out “fun party Sarah”, smiling and dancing as she worked the crowd. She even brought out the old school rock, with mixes of Queen—Another One Bites the Dust, and giving props to Australian compatriots ACDC, closing her set with You Shook Me, bringing back memories of high school dances at CPA, and proving you can rock out in a dress that looks like a graffiti flag of Belgium and red heels to match the Pacha colour scheme.

Headliner Benny Benassi however chose to just do it in his Nikes. Despite technical problems that caused one of the decks to be on the fritz for about 15 minutes, Benassi held the crowd for two hours. Benassi won the prize for understatement of the evening, holding up a “Sarah Main is sexy” sign, which prompted her to come out and get her groove on. Highlights included dropping Bob Sinclair—World Hold On at 2:55 AM, and closing out with his recent hit Who’s Your Daddy, a mix of Coldplay—Fix You, and his made-to-pimp Wendy’s Big Bacon Classic Double Hamburger-sized smash Satisfaction. Maybe that’s what triggered my Pavlovian dog instinct to start salivating. Rock your burger indeed.

Birthday boy Serge Santiago had the stage at 3:30 AM to deliver extremely danceable heavy bass
and electro, which brought up the “Pacha Ibiza dancers” back up on their platforms. The great thing about these shows is the vibe, even when making fun of other people, one of my favorite pastimes. As myself and a random Brit gal made fun of Australia’s unhealthy obsession with the mullet haircut, she then proceeded to “read my palms”, telling me I had “many lovers”. Define “many’ please.

Carl Kennedy came on to close the show at 5:30 AM. Admittedly, my back was sore, my eyes were heavy, and my stomach was growling, but I got my 2nd wind at 5:40 when Kennedy dropped the aforementioned Dirty South vs. Evermore—It’s Too Late, prompting Sarah to come back out and dance, giving both Kennedy and Dirty South a favourable verdict in a jury by their peers. When a DJ dances to another DJ’s work, it’s like J-Smooth wearing ‘Nique’s jersey in the Slam Dunk Competition. Respect. I had to call it quits after hearing a mix of Switch—A Bit Patchy at 6:10, cutting it short with about 50 minutes to close, but anytime you get to bed at 7 AM means you have had a full night.