I’ll admit that I new very little about these two acts before rolling into Toast last Saturday night. I’d heard the names before and was keen to see what they had to lay down. And I assure you, they laid it down. Deep down. Like autistic kids with commodore 64’s these deviants of the dirty beat took us down to a place that few had been before and where few would remain when we returned to the light.

A smooth opening by Sub Bass Snarl was made up of some Gregorian Chants that flowed over silky breaks and ambient violin synths. Confused dancers swayed and bobbed waiting eagerly for a steady beat so they could bust some moves. The highly inspirational efforts of the dance comp entrants got everyone in the mood to let loose with some rug cutting moves. However, Sub bass teased for a little while longer and the buttery smooth beats and deep off-key interludes were mellow but refreshingly esoteric and cryptic.

Soon enough, like being woken from a dream, a 4/4 beat erupted from the speakers and an up tempo house beat got bums off seats and feet started moving. There were no radio edits or top 40 fav’s in this set and with scratchy samples and random synth injections the tunes kept everyone interested.

The drum and bass soon took over with the approval of most of the punters. The dance floor was full and there were smiles all round. Itchy, hectic, rolling beats kept cold feet sliding as the night warmed up.

As Sub Bass Snarl finished up a bearded and manically smiling Rainbow Ejaculation appeared behind the decks. Decked out in orange overalls you’d be forgiven for thinking he’d been released from Guantanamo bay for the weekend. Not only for his appearance but for the evil and twisted abuse he offered our ears through strangling and warping unidentifiable sounds that throbbed from the house speakers.

It was a cascade, an avalanche of sound. High pitched shrieks of off-key happy hardcore and breakcore pounded and banged its way into the room. The die-hards who remained on the dance floor held onto the faintest of rhythmical beats that one could move ones feet to if you concentrated hard and let yourself become one with the craziness. There were confused and frustrated looks from many who gave up on conversation and threw in the dancing towel. Despite the ever present Canberra cold a lot of people preferred blizzard conditions outside to the avalanche of sound that was to be endured inside.

I was simultaneously irritated and amazed by this guys art. I wanted to look away but I remained to see how it would all turn out. It was a mess of sound that had a strange and beautiful order to it. A spike of excitement coursed through my body when I caught a snippet of a familiar track or sound, but soon enough it was drowned in an aggressive machine gun onslaught of static and interference. Love it or hate it, it was quite an experience.

Toe Cutter took over where Rainbow left off. With the grin of a mad professor. Hunched over his dials and knobs. Toe Cutter twisted and tweaked a more well known track list. The onslaught of breakcore beats continued as hectic dial turning wove an intricate web of craziness through the dance floor. There had been witty discussion on the forums during the week about how this gig would be one of the rare DJ gigs where you could be assured not to hear Gnarls Barkley. However, “Crazy” soon showed its dominance over the dance floor as a bizarre and almost unrecognisable version of the hit track graced us with its presence.

Toe Cutter managed to smash together some more cheesy old favourites with “Barbie Girl” and “I like to move it” colliding with surprising success. Kelis’s “Milkshake” added some funk as Toe Cutter’s craziness came to an end, much to the relief of many.

With the crowd dwindling Karuna got behind the decks and offered some sweet relief. He banged out some droning d’n’b that got the remaining feet shuffling and furtively sliding. Oily grooves and tasty cuts got me to the dance floor and after the hectic nights entertainment it was comforting to have a steady beat to loose oneself in.

In a haze of exhaustion and bewilderment the lights eventually came on and the poofs were stacked neatly in the corner. We trudged out the door and disappeared into the fog, comforted by the thought that we would soon return for another night of Toast induced looseness. Cheers guys and bon voyage to Rowan, Skylah and Dave.