My first experience with a daytime outdoor dance party was back on New Years Day 1999 when I went to “Splash” at the Boy Charlton Pool in Sydney’s Domain. I was out on my morning walk when I stumbled upon this intimate party with an awesome crowd and local DJ’s. It was my first time at such an event and a monster was created.

Since then, the culture of outdoor, daytime dance festivals has escalated to unfathomable heights Gone are the days of buying ticket at the door if the mood took you there. Preparation starts months before. As soon as the line-up is announced, people scramble for first release, work out their outfits and chomp at the bits waiting for weather reports and set times, so they can make sure that variables are kept to a minimum (any possible variables are naturally catered for in contingency plans). It is a modern day ritual, and you just can’t help yourself. It can be a bit overwhelming as no longer are these festivals contained in the silly season under the guise of recoveries: only the winter months are excused, the rest of the year is rife with one festival or another. This is understandable, as daytime parties manage to miraculously extract and destroy the seediness that I find inherent in many night time shenanigans, and whilst they seem to get larger (in acts/ crowds/ venues) each year, I find this basic fundamental is maintained, and here within lies the appeal.

Having attended many of the Fuzzy events in Sydney, I was looking forward to them teaming up with Future to bring Parklife to Melbourne. I was immediately on the phone to my mates, telling them the dates and to get their tickets. I was sucked into the vortex again. It was to be held at Birrarung Marr, which is located near Federation Square and situated on the Yarra.

Naturally I paid a fair amount of attention to the line-up, and had determined who I wanted to see, but I know from experience that it never turns out that way, and you may be disappointed by your favourites, or blown away by an artist you have not paid much attention to prior. It is so much easier to not put pressure on yourself in regards to where you have to be. Otherwise you start feeling like you are on a Contiki tour, 7 sights in 7 hours special: and you end up missing the whole point. Thus the only acts that I wanted to see who were not negotiable were Mixmaster Mike and Coldcut.

I could see them setting up for the whole week from my office window, and observed that it was going to be set out with the hill/ bank as the centre with the city as a backdrop. Perfect. In regards to weather for the day, apparently there was going to be a bit of sun, a bit of rain, cold winds, and a warm front in the afternoon. Your quintessential Melbourne Day really. In the past I have experienced torrential downpour and heatwaves at these festivals, and of all the weather propositions this was the optimum.

I rocked up at 1.30, no queues (aside from the cloakroom where we checked our bags), and headed for the bar. We then sat down the bottom level and surveyed our surroundings. The two areas were separated by a big hill, up the top of the hill was Air Stage, Earth Stage, VIP bar and pleb bar. Then if you walked down the grass slope, you were amongst the food stalls, seating area, Water stage, toilets, and first aid. It was a very intelligent set-up as not only were the two main tents (Earth and Water) sufficiently spaced so they didn’t encroach on each others areas, but there was also a bridge connecting the two areas which provided easy access to first aid and toilets. Naturally we walked through the course first, so we were aware of any obstacles. We organised that the “Meeting spot” if anyone got lost was at the ITM VIP toilets.

Apparently this is the first time that these toilets have been in Melbourne, and whilst people may initially chortle at the thought, you quickly realise that no queues, clean bathrooms and accoutrements such as deodorant and chuppa-chupps are luxuries in such an environment.

As for the crowd, yeah, of course you had your Tsubi/ Sass & Bide/ Mooks/ Mohawks/ Haviana (all at the same time) crews, but there was a nice spectrum of ages and seriously I found that everyone had left their attitudes at the door. There was an array of inconspicuous twin outfits. I am not alluding to seeing double as I was uncharacteristically tapered for the day.

At the outdoor stage (Air) were Agency 86, Mark James, Spacey Space, Valentinos, Boogs, Midnight Juggernaughts, Peter Hook and Ian Pooley. As much as I tried to get into this stage and sets, it proved a challenge as its’ placement was awkward. Situated between the Earth Stage and bars so it was more of a transition point, and everyone was on their way somewhere, thus all of the acts found it somewhat challenging to capture the crowd.

At the Earth stage was Lynt, Blue Print, DJ Peril, Kid Kenobi & MC Sureshock, Stanton Warriors, Cut Chemist, Coldcut, Mixmaster Mike and Krafty Kuts. I missed the first few and could not bring myself to stay for longer than 10 minutes for Kid Kenobi: simply because I can not get into Sureshock. He is like the annoying munter standing next to who won’t shut up. The only way you can escape is leave.

Coldcut were by far and away the best act of the day for me. The setup, the visuals, and the thumping drum and bass had me at hello. The atmosphere was electric. A pattern is emerging where the shows that stand out are the ones going outside the boundaries. Last year it was Nick Warren, this year Coldcut. These festivals need more of it. Krafty Kuts were great also. Solid as, and well deserving headliners.

The one moment that stole the show was Mayor John So getting up on the stage at Earth Tent and in perfect broken Engrish said, “This is wonderful. People dancing, in the sun and having a lovely time. Fantastic to see. This is what makes Melbourne such a great city”

Indeed sir.