As an intrepid, daring and rather beguiling nightclub reviewer, I obviously have a lot of free time in the days in which to think. And what I’ve been thinking about most recently – beyond the normal visions of tunnels, trains, cigars and sellotape – is what sort of super club I would be. I think, for starters, I would have the ability to serve everyone with drinks simultaneously, thereby annihilating the need for six deep queues. I’d also use my super-logistical skills to ensure I had sufficient staff to deal with a given crowd volume. Most of all I’d have x-ray vision. Not, I should add, to perve at the dancers on my floors, but rather to keep myself updated with the medical health of those who saw fit to visit me. Of course these flights of fancy get one no where.

On Thursday night the ‘Tornado of Sao Paolo’ hit Sydney and bought the people out en masse. But before they could get their samba hips writhing they were treated to something different. Enter Kobra Kai (www.kobrakailive.com), a hip-hop/breaks/jungle/grime six piece that mix live music with a DJ, a singer and MCs (including my favourite: MC D:Tech). These guys ripped it up, taking us on a musical journey with heavy breaks building up to crazy jungle beats and vertiginous drops. Trite in the good way, unique and bubbling with energy, the crowd warmed up and started jumping around like beans in a blender.

Up in the Icon Room, Nick Toth & K-Note were taking it easier and some of the overflow encamped there whilst Ritual and Spikey Tee took the main room down in to the depths of bass, but there was only one man anyone was really there to see, the Bossa Super Nova himself: DJ Marky. I remember way-back, when DJ Marky was little known outside of Brazil and bopped up and down playing his own brand of drum & bass. It was all revolutionary and a new genre. He’s still good, don’t get me wrong, but it sometimes seems like his style is just normal drum & bass with the treble turned up too high. It’s a little quibble coming from a man who was dancing away madly, but a quibble none the less, as is the fact Stamina MC seemed like he was wilting and the dance floor was so intensely crowded that I think I may have got impregnated.

The music was excellent, the mixing tight, the trademark grin beaming out. The sound boomed and shook my insides, and that feeling you only get when a phat, phat jungle break drops hit me again and again. Bliss. DJ Marky is a big name and he brings out big crowds, and that’s excellent because it furthers the cause of drum & bass and creates fiscal viability for Australian drum & bass nights. To be honest, though, he seemed a little bit jaded. So if I was a super club, I’d make sure I’d combat it using some sort of special ray. Although having said that, there did seem to be a lot of lasers on the go. Maybe, just maybe…