Proteus is not a good DJ. I wouldn’t even class Proteus as a DJ, in spite of the fact that he was voted ‘Best Hard Dance DJ’ in the world. Watching Proteus play is more akin to a live performance involving costume, makeup and props. This coupled with what are arguably some of the hardest sounds on the planet ensured that I was a night not to be forgotten.

Resident Simon Barwood opened the night and was followed up by Luminate, who both skillfully kicked off what turned out to be a dark, dirty night. Then Weavy took over the decks, playing nothing but the hardest of tracks. His non-stop music was followed by Grady G bringing in ever more darker and dirtier noises.

Then, just after 2am, Proteus made his presence known behind the decks, giving new definition to the word ‘hard’. His unique sound lacks any kind of break or pause. While most songs might have one or two interludes in them so that you can catch your breath, those at Rise were lucky to get ten seconds to breathe in ten minutes.

But it wasn’t as if we were being tortured. Jumping onto the stage above the DJ booth, banging out the kicks, air guitaring the melodies and sweating to everything that he blasted out of the speakers, Proteus danced as hard as anyone else on the dance floor. You could tell that he was working hard when he cracked open a roll of handy wipes and promptly used half of the sheets to wipe off the litres of sweat dripping off his face. It was an inspiration to us all.

After throwing the hardest sounds on us and covering us with the dirtiest of noises, this Finish god of hard dance and dark NRG finally let us rest halfway through the third hour of Saturday morning. Many went home to get metal scourers and wash all the filth off of their bodies, yet many more stayed and danced on to the tunes of Steven Tranzor and Rousa.