This is a contentious review of a contentious event. Whether you loved or hated this years Parklife the undeniable result was a flood of experiences which left a wake of polarised opinion. Whilst it’s true that a good deal of both the positive and negative aspects of Parklife are all ones which have existed likely since the dawn of the music festival concept; rarely has there been an event in Brisbane which has left such a hubbub. Don’t presume this review to be entirely objective, as the reader you can expect a large portion of the subjective too. The blowing of smoke is strictly banned from this space.

Firstly the promoters of Parklife, Fuzzy Entertainment; do deserve a high five for using the City Botanic Gardens as a venue and keeping the sound emanating from all of the stages well isolated without causing adverse damage to the gardens themselves by keeping swathes of planted areas fenced off. There have since been complaints from attendees that this lead to an almost ‘cattle herding’ vibe (more on cattle later) in getting from stage to stage. It ought to be acknowledged though that doing this was the more respectful thing to do and without this the event probably wouldn’t have been approved for the venue to start with, similarly the rubber mats used for the dance floors do save the grass and were much better than those used at most events. To add, attendance whilst undoubtedly at a record high wasn’t uncomfortable. The crowds were relatively easy to navigate and even at the front of the Riverstage (the largest and busiest of the day) there was still ample space to get down with your bad self (have a boogie etc.).

One thing that is essential for the next Parklife has to be better planned bar areas! This was one of the most disappointing aspects of the day all of which had easily rectified issues. Payment with tickets at the bar saves time counting cash and having bar staff stationed as opposed to running back and forth along an increasingly busy area would be a start. Also decanting drinks from cans into plastic cups is a shocking waste of resources and time and contributes to yet more wasted energy in processing them all to recycling (if the waste even makes it that far). Fair enough they can be used as projectiles and it is essential to ensure the safety of the acts on stage but there has to be an investment of trust in bar staff NOT to serve people who could potentially become a problem of that variety.

And on that topic shall be recounted the ugliest part of the day. At a music festival there ought to be a far greater sense of communion than what was seen at Parklife, but sadly as always there was a proportion of those in attendance which didn’t seem to care much about even themselves let alone those around them. Now of course there will be a few stories of good floating about, but on the whole there seems to be a rapid expansion of the ‘me’ generation into this variety of festival which is in a word sickening.

It’s hardly rave mystic babble to expect people to be respectful of others and themselves (let’s not resurrect PLUR culture please, it’s equally saddening) merely the right thing to do when everyone is there as a temporary community of sorts all wanting to listen to good music and have a cracking time. The Brisbane In The Mix forum has plenty of posts from members who saw many an altercation between gym junkie jocks vying for a shag with Barbie and/or Kelly, who were both likely more preoccupied with drinking and/or snorting their way into oblivion; if you have the imagination to mix and match the aforementioned details to produce a slightly different scenario then odds are on it probably happened. A few times.

As if the vastness of such tool-dom wasn’t bad enough in and of itself almost every livestock auction reject around had an eye damaging combination of clown sick flouro on. It wasn’t even cool when kids in Berlin were doing it last year (probably the year before) so give it up Brisbane and get your own sense of identity. Few will mind even if you deem it necessary to all dress the same way still, just do something other than damage the retinas of every normal human being within a 500M radius.

On a more positive note the music wasn’t all bad news however ordinary the overall majority of performances were. Digitalism put in a sterling effort and gave the Riverstage sound system a good going over. With a later slot there was a large crowd for them to play to and they did so with ease, ripping through the majority of the material from their album Idealism. MSTRKRFT who played before them were quite well received and likely had the best sound of the day. They managed to secure a cameo performance from Wolfmother’s lead singer Andrew Stockdale, who appeared on stage to rapturous applause. For anyone not into electro house (I raise my hand here) they would have come across as fairly bland, however as a performance held together solely with very nicely crafted bass lines and drums doesn’t amount to much without a decent whack of musicality which felt decidedly absent. Similarly, the much talked about Justice didn’t live up to the hype and felt like little more than a cheap version of Daft Punk with they’re bland song structure and poor set progression. They’re set was more comparable to a stagnant pond than a raging ocean in terms of ebb and flow.

Still in the electro house vein, Presets main man K.I.M. performed well on the Fire Stage to a predominantly smashed bunch of fluoro stained kids just waiting to see Muscles which of course meant a swift evacuation for anyone with sense. Reports were that his performance was no better than the average one put in at Splendour in the Grass which can only lead to a conclusion of stage impotence.

Out of all the stages the Air Stage appropriately felt the most open and inviting and the music reflected that also. The Scratch Perverts played a characteristically skilled set and were still a lot of fun despite the safe choices they made in track selection. Both they and the Stereo MCs before them need a good lesson or two on why playing the Prodigy, Nirvana and the Beastie Boys at festivals is tedious and leaves them deserving of a hiding. Similarly the Stereo MCs could do with some help in the mixing department as they were particularly sloppy. Despite having got into an altercation with DJ Craze who tried to wage a turf war of sorts against them, The Herd put the fun into hip hop with their usual stage antics and potty mouth lyrics which never seem to tire. The crowd at the Air Stage was quite sparse at that point also so they did a good job of a tough slot.

In the bad books for local artists gone wrong are the Stafford Brothers. Whilst their set at Parklife was undoubtedly entertaining their antics off stage in the wee hours of the morning somewhere in the Valley have been discussed and they allegedly did a good job of being rather obnoxious and provocative towards another unnamed local DJ. It seems that the touring and boost in their profile has produced a fetid attitude which deserves to be denounced. There’s no place for arrogance in this town, sorry.

On that somewhat less than impressive note ends a recount of a less than impressive day. Hopefully some got themselves a day of memories they can treasure but for the rest it’s probably an idea to be a little more weary next year.