Club Club feat. Martin Eyerer @ Chinese Laundry, Sydney (28/06/08)

Beneath the Slip Inn on the corner of King and Sussex Street (oh how many times have I slurred those directions to Sydney cab drivers) lies the dirty beating heart of Sydney clubbing, and I use the term ‘dirty’ loosely at this point as the place is called the Chinese Laundry which to me suggests a place to get things cleaned. The venue itself is actually fairly spotless; it’s the DJs who provide the melodic grime so filthy it would make Gordon Ramsey blush.

Firstly can I just say that at some events involving international DJs the residents are simply there to bookend their performance with solid records and safe mixing, but in all three rooms of the Laundry the ‘housemates’ (ie. those who live there every week) always deliver sensational performances that sometimes outshine the weekly guests, with cranium battering tunes that would even get Belinda Neal up out of her chair without a fuss…but I’ll get to that later. This particular mild evening saw the return of German tech wizard Martin Eyerer and the monthly resurgence of Kaundry resident Kid (help me Obi Wan) Kenobi to propel the Tri-room groove palace into a writing mass of up-for-it club kids.

We arrived right on 9pm to swill beer and take in the sounds of Hugga Thugg who was playing some mighty fine warm up beats that coupled well with my ice cold alcoholic companion. Next stop (where did the last hour and a half go?) was the Laundry room as I followed the mass exodus down the ‘hard to negotiate while intoxicated’ stairway to musical heaven to see Jeff Drake who was his usual energetic self, bouncing around like a bikini-clad Playboy Bunny at Kid Rock’s Birthday Bash. I remember saying ‘good tune’ about ten times whilst on the dance floor, hearing such ‘now’ records as Loco Dice Pimp Jackson Is Talking Now, Inland Knights Where Ya At and ‘Senior Drake’s’ own crowd favourites One Dress, Two Legs and the always well received Rollover Rockstar.

Moving on….I love the Cave, it makes me feel like I’m inside the eardrum of the massive rock monster from The Neverending Story and 11pm saw Club Junque step up and take the stony reigns to a nice early crowd. What can I say about Club Junque that hasn’t already been said about oral sex? They are both just always great in any situation. Zach always has this look on his face that says, “Yep…you are about to cop it,” which is the perfect attitude to have in the stonewalled room which is a definite “haven for head cavin”. I would have train spotted some tunes for the review but I got lost in the musical labyrinth that even David Bowie couldn’t help me out of because he was off filming for ‘Flight of The Concords’. It seems heads down groovy tech house is the drug of choice in Sydney town at the moment, and in this case Club Junque has the best crack on the street.

Back upstairs the Forey-less Impossibles were rocking the Sandbar like a white mans car in the LA riots. These guys always have a good dance floor with their feelgood mash-up antics, beckoning the outsiders onto the Sandbar tiles with consummate ease. With my funk tank almost full I drifted back to the Laundry to caught the last of Tim McGee’s set, and he had the room transformed into a sea of quivering bodies with some sexy electro ready for Kid Kenobi to step up and deliver what was a very surprising set full of massive bass-riddled bombs that shook the walls and had the room begging for more. For the periods that I was there I didn’t recognise one tune, which had me delightfully confused as I usually expect a more commercial sound from the CD-Jedi.

Between my time in the laundry I was back in the cave listening to Martin Eyerer tear it a new one – “BLEEP, RREEEEOOOW, BOOM!” Tech house makes me eargasm and he was delivering a hot saucy plate of it right into my fun button. Massive synthy breakdowns blasted into huge bass drops that kept the crowd very vocal and all I could do was sit back with a big smile on my face taking in the experience. I am a big fan of his productions and he played well above my expectations.

The end of his set was applauded as resident Mark Dynamix stepped up and finished off the night in absolutely brilliant form; obviously his time spent in Germany wasn’t all Bratwurst and dirty porn. This night reminded me of how ‘underground’ music can be appreciated by all kinds of club enthusiasts, heels or no heels if you are hearing good tunes then your ass is on the floor.

I didn’t get to catch Steve Lind closing the sandbar but in his favour I did overhear a girl on the stairs mumbling “OMG Steve lind smashed it!”, smashed what exactly I’m not sure but I think that means that the ‘Groove Gangsta’ layed down yet another crowd pleasing finale to a massive evening at the Chinese Laundry. I think Little John can sum this one up the best with “EY-EYEAH!” Group hug!