It’s probably a good thing that I don’t remember turning two years old. There are photos of me demolishing a jelly cake with a Lost in Space robot! Tonight, the infamous Explicit crew celebrates that same momentous milestone, in unsurprisingly similar style. I doubt any partakers will remember much either. Crazy hats, crazy beats, stink bombs, mayhem, carnage and subjecting their audience to the promised ‘dirty sleazy twisted electro-tech’. There are just not enough brain cells left to store the details. But there are always the photos…
Whenever I arrive at Laundry, it doesn’t matter who’s on the bill, who’s playing in what room – the law of accumulated averages means that my feet move all by themselves straight into the Cave. No pretty lanterns, no little wooden Chinamen with party hats covering their spicy steamed rolls, just the Deep Dark Dungeon of Serious Beats. So it was Ben Dunlop, Cavemaster 1, who had me instantly embracing that darkness. Not a huge crowd tonight, but I was to discover that because of the full moon (obviously), the shift and pull of the crowd between the rooms was completely tidal. Nothing to do with the music whatsoever! OK, maybe just a bit. A large bit even! But there was so much other crazy shit going on that had to be added to the crowd-swell equation.
Phil Smart took over, applying a heads-down depth of concentration you’d expect from a lab-coated NCIS extra, spectrum-analyzing nanoparticles for traces of munitions. None to be found. But it was weapons-grade tech and electro that ripped out of the speakers, and particle-accelerated frontal-lobes and booties alike. Meanwhile, back in the Laundry room, the full moon was definitely leaning in Mark Murphy’s direction whipping up crowds of hoodies paying homage to the twisted fun beats. Zombie Nation got the hands up, and I’m pretty sure it was ahem… Eye of the Tiger that got them all down again. Back to the twisted fun beats then.
Caveside, Phil Smart executed a seamless crossover to Simon Caldwell who was playing off (gasp) vinyl! What a treat. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a purist. Vinyl, CD decks, Ableton… Whatever gets the job done will get me off really. But you have to admit there is just something dead fuck-off sexy about vinyl. It’s rich, voluptuous and demanding, there’s just no way you can cheat on vinyl and get away with it (the most rewarding ladies are always the hardest work). And Simon took us on a dark sexy and seamless ride to techno town. Sweet as.
But a rogue wave dragged me back into Laundry where Gus Da Hoodrat was now holding court, smashing out the tech-housy goodness and strange familiars such as the original Battlestar Galactica theme from back in the days before Starbuck had the snip and grew boobies. And there’s is certain track Gus has been playing around town. Electro. Funked out juicy bassline. Sweet keys over the top. Yep, sure enough he dropped it just as I was pushing my way to the front with a brimming beverage…and yes, I lost it. I finally lost my shit in the sticky-floor room, and have never been so stoked to be wearing my drink.
Back in the Cave a magnetic tidal vortex had formed. Sorry Simon, I think it might have had more to do with the ‘Flashdance Floorshow’ going on than with your unbelievable beats (dudes, the DJ is that way). But eventually the focus was back on the music, and Master Caldwell handed the controls to Matttt & Reno who unleashed a barrage of dark and wicked techno that was releasing no one from its massive gravitational force. And so on we danced, hands up… And on… And on…If anyone reads this message, please, let someone know that we are still trapped in the Explicit 2nd Birthday Bash and cannot escape these wicked unruly twisted freaking awesome beats. Do not attempt rescue. Repeat. Do not attempt rescue. Oh my god, did someone say there are photos? Shit!
