Ah, Chinese Laundry. She’s like that ex girlfriend you just keep coming back to. You know she’s not good for your health, your wallet, or your sanity (because let’s face it, sleep deprivation and head-caving tech house and techno really doesn’t do your synapses any favours), but damn does she make you feel good at the time. And it was much the same when Oliver Koletzki made a guest appearance at The Club Club: bad for my wallet, health and sanity, but so totally worth it.

Matttt was on warm-up duties this week, and yet again he delivered. It’s all getting a little predictable when he’s behind the decks, really: quality tunes, tight mixing, intelligent programming and a cheeky grin. But hey, if predictability is this good, slap a sticker on me that says: “boring as batshit”. Keeping it deep and warm to begin with, Matttt slowly picked up the pace and laid down some quality tech house jams, including Luciano’s quirky remix of Thirst by Tim Wright and Stryke’s acid monster Her Eyes Are Stars.

At 12:30 Mr. Oliver Koletzki took his place behind the decks in all his German glory and proceeded to musically rip peoples’ heads off and spit down their necks with sadistic pleasure. Yeah, it was that good. Getting the crowd firmly on side early on with a tasty selection of unreleased dark, aggressive, grinding, bassline-driven tech house, Koletzki then gave the crowd what-for with a solid hour of pounding, evil, thunderous techno and pro-tech which just seemed to get heavier and heavier, with a couple of tunes nearly blowing the bassbins! But what was even better than the basslines was the fact pretty much every tune was either unreleased or so new the chinstrokers in the room had no idea what they were. In fact, all this reviewer could ID was Paul Ritch’s remix of Shonky’s Time Zero. In his final 45 minutes Koletzki dropped some absolutely classic tunes which brought a smile to many of the older punters’ faces, including Greece 2000 by Three Drives On A Vinyl and my personal all-time favourite: Rolando’s Jaguar (which incidentally I have never heard played out, anywhere).

Mark Dynamix closed the Cave with the flair, uniqueness and just plain awesomeness that we’ve become accustomed to since he stepped on the scene all those years ago. Preferring to focus on the deeper, darker, end of the techno and progressive spectrum (including local producer Mortlock’s new track Waschbär), Dynamix kept the crowd rocking out without having to resort to big breakdowns and build-ups, which says a lot for his programming and track selection.

Call me masochistic, but honestly, I loved every second of the punishment I copped on Saturday night, and looking around the room, it seemed like everyone else did too. Sydney loves it hard and aggressive, they just don’t know it yet. More Oliver Koletzkis to teach our fair city the ways of the evil, please!