Agent of Corruption: Tom Middleton.

Activated: 1991.

Operational Status: Genre defying purveyor of twisted and sweet beats.

Known aliases: Cosmos, Reload, Schizophrenia, Jedi Knights (not the muppets) and Global Communication (the latter with known collaborator Mark Pritchard).

Relevance of Thommy Mhi T-Shirt: Unknown, refer to weapons intel.

Incident Location: The Cross, Darlinghurst Road. Upstairs. 2 main rooms and funky terrace bar.

Allegation: That the accused long-respected maestro conducted mood-altering and mind-enhancing experiments on eager punters. Far-reaching effects of these experiments have yet to be assessed.

Liability: The crowd’s fault. All that squealing and ‘hands in the air’ and bouncing about. They made him do it.

Incident Report: At approximately zero one-hundred hours, agent Tom Middleton entered the DJ booth at the location advised and smashed out a genre twisting set of very cool tracks. Using his elite Jedi Mind-trick Skillz, he sized up the extremely mixed crowd of party-goers and adjusted his set accordingly. The conglomeration of tracks represented tech followed by prog followed by unabashed crowd sing-alongs. Amidst the shiny new beats were heard vocal hooks from The Ting Tings, MGMT, and even Flight of the Conchords in there with Business Time.

Like all successful agents of corruption, Middleton kept the beats moving and indefinable, never sticking to a genre for more than 5 seconds. Possible Attention Deficit Disorder, or just a man with a wide field of interest. Results inconclusive. It does mean he can work a room, which he definitely did. At zero three-hundred hours the Perpetrator was afforded an extra half hour of experimentation, smashing out a sax opera that soon revealed itself to be the Klement Bonelli Remix of Funkagenda & Mark Knight’s Man With the Red Face. Woot!

Sonic Conditions at Location: So loud in the main room speakers the were actually distorting, although the speakers had probably long since been ripped apart. Heavy bleedthrough between 2 main rooms. Lame. It is also suspected that Agent Middleton received assistance from DJ accomplices Brendan Fing and Adam Coverdale. The former warmed up admirably with liberal use of 90s rave sounds, piano hooks and Utah Saints’ Something Good ‘08. The latter operative followed up the established indie-electro code with Pnau’s Embrace, before heading off on his own mission. Was last seen hammering out the tracks to the entranced stayers hanging in for MDX former alias of Mark Dynamix. (Set time zero five hundred. Softcore surveillance home in bed by then.)

Overall Incident Outcome: A roomful of half-melted punters transformed into blathering but dedicated Middleton Slaves.

Recommendation: Approach with extreme caution, and then cut the fuck loose. This dude rocks it!