Many of my friends wondered what effect the Gay Games (GG) would have on our fair city. Just like Kath and Kim “we have iss-ewes with all the fuss!” “Ploi-se what was this GG all about?”
By the time the “Farwell” Party came around we were saying “That’s ny-ioce, that’s different, that’s un-ewes-yewl” such a change had over come ourselves and the way we see Sydney.
These brief two weeks had become a focus for the warmth found through the Gay Games principles of inclusion, participation and the pursuit of personal best. So we took this literary and started our own score system.
200 + Points go to Sydney the City. In particular the Business Men in Hyde Park dressed in suits eating deliciously cheap meals, whilst washing it down with lunchtime entertainment and some cold wet ones. As I sat on the lawn together with all sexual persuasions, nationalities the feeling of being in a Chinese dry cleaners, of always picking up a suit cum over me.
It was stunning to see the city come alive with all the assortments; Lesbians, Gays, Bi-Sexual, Transgender together with straights this is what we saw in Sydney during the Games, Hyde Park is like a ghost town of tumble weeds and whirly winds replacing the area once littered with rainbow people.
No sooner had the Games started and we said G’day we started to say Farewell.
Word had hit the streets on the collective gaydar point system.
Across all the gay ghetto’s last Saturday evening thousands of queers where cleaning out their welcome mats (Welcome mat: An unsightly patch of hair just there) in a last ditch attempt to score some bonus points with the last piece of foreign trade.
During the Games many locals started a collective point system based on how easy or challenging a particular nation was to get into bed. So far here is the tally and score system…
Antarctica got + 20 points because he came so far. + 20 points for remote location and + 30 points for the fact they had only one female and one male competitor.
Total Score + 70 Points
Australia Received a negative score of – 20, because we are so easy caught and with such a surplus of supply, not to mention the lack of any real challenge to a horny tourist. Total Score -20 Points
India or Pakistan + 50 each on their own, But if you slept with both in a hot three-way you get a bonus score of + 100 points.
Total Score + 150 points
Cameroon As there was only one male competitor you got + 150 bonus point due to the high demand for this hung competitor in the 100 cock hurdles.
Total Score + 150 points
New Zealand gets -10 points because there was so many of them here “Urge” Bar on K road was empty during the games that’s for sure. BUT you get – 20 points if he or she could pronounce “The Midnight Shift” properly.
Total Score -10
USA gets – 20 points because they are so easy! – But you do get +50 points if you had a threesome with a yank and that defiant Iraq male competitor.
Total Score -20 or add +30 if Iraq allowed internal US inspectors.
Netherlands, gets + 150 points because they where in such demand for those camp Orange outfits. Give your self another + 150 points if your Dutch partner lasted more than 3 minutes in bed. Total Score +150
Sweden gets + 200 points as they where the hardest to bed considering such a large demand.
Total Score + 200
United Kingdom gets + 10 if they had used our showers + 10 points if they did not refer to us as convicts, + 10 points if they did not whinge about the weather! +100 points if they did not know who Wayne G was.
Give your self a possible + 130
My Score was 90 points. (1 x Aussie, 1 x Dutch (less than 3 min), 1 x Yank, 1 x Kiwi living in Bondi).
Through the Spirit of the Gay Games we discovered what gorgeous people Gay and Lesbian tourist where. We found them to be, deeply spiritual with a non judgemental view of the opposite sexes and sexuality. This level of unity in Gay / Lesbian / Transgender / Bi / Str8 (did I leave any subculture out?) hasn’t been experienced in the local club scene from the good old days of Paradise Garage at the McWilliams Wine Factory, Sweatbox, RAT or the mixed Summer Parties @ Alexandria Basketball Stadium.
Through the eyes of international tourist they helped us rediscover harmony in our party culture. It would not have been for the support for our many volunteers who helped deliver the very best Gay Games and parties to date.
For more than twenty years the Gay Games has inspired gay, lesbian, transgender and straight people to put forth their best. Until recently the Sydney Gay and Lesbian community has been dogged by outdated politics of dancing based on exclusion of people with different sexual orientation in our queer party culture such as Mardi Gras & Pride organisations.
Separatism is outdated and outlawed in many cultural organisation’s and governments why has it been allowed for so long in Sydney.
What the Gay Games proved through its incident free party’s and successful sporting events was that a person’s sexuality is not a threat to any organisation or individual and has no place in dance culture or the queer community. This was set by the principals of the Federation of Gay Games back up by our international peers and the many volunteers both queer and straight.
The Gay Games showed Sydney we have the right to dance at parties with any sexual persuasion and not feel alone or violated.
As we entered the Hordern Pavilion around 12:30 we were overcome with handbag tunes celebrated by a pagan circle of Dutch Men & Women bopping to “We are family” having a hoot of a time smiles from ear to ear.
To this group’s direct right some straight looking westie blokes of Lebanese origin with their Barbie girlfriends in white knee high FMB’s (complete with white pom poms) obviously left over from the opening ceremony. Did I see them at the “Welcome party” in the same outfits?
Behind a group of German leather men with prolapsed arse’s hanging from behind their leather chaps, only being held up by a harness, finished off with a designer matching leather dog collars.
The crowd continued behind to a group of feral gals & lads dancing as if at ‘Earthcore’. The fire twirling raver’s were trying very hard to stomp to the cheesy gay anthem beats belted out by yet another commercial DJ who’s into black divas.
Wow I thought in less than 10 meters I can see nearly every walk of life found in dance party culture. Do I feel or see any aggression?
MY ANSWER to all these brief pondering seconds was a big fat sweaty and juicy NO!!!
All I could see in the Hordern was LOVE filled by happy party people, hands joined in the spirit of the Gay Games, loving, living and outlasting the very badly mixed nova FM set by some unknown DJ.
What the Gay Games has hopefully taught the insular Sydney Gay mafia and the very small Gay club scene is “Don’t make the mistake of mapping your perceptions of what is or is not queer unity. Don’t assume what is cool in queer culture because we have experienced and been exposed to something far greater thanks to our international guests.
There is a whole queer world out there and they don’t live in Sydney.
They are certainly not all into Kylie most of them have not heard of her.
Most definitely don’t dress like clones or spend their lives wasted on drugs they have lives filled with a rich tapestry of community involvement.
The Sydney Gay and Lesbian scene has been exposed to a new beginning in party culture. I thought this was long forgotten and would remain a distant memory of last century, lost to the many AIDS graves.
Now it was time to get on with the parting and join in some of the fun if we can find it.
We are in the RHI for the next show which was Tina Arena singing “Symphony of life”. As Tina arose from the floor looking sexy with shinny fabric clinging to her curves sensually, Tina looked like a million Aussie pesos!
Tina delivered one of the most moving performances of her career, apart from her final ‘Young Talent Time’ episode.
Tina had me in the palm of her hand, whilst I telephoned a friend Malcolm on my ‘Yes weekend’ Optus mobile plan.
During her performance many of the surrounding USA tourists asked who she was.
It was no surprise too I that ill informed Americans should be asking me this question.
I replied “For with out American talent scouts in NY city our little Tina Arena would not have received her 1st big international break into the America cabaret music idiom which later lead her onto phenomenal success across France.”
After the standing ovation and 1 minute of applause had died down we headed back to check out the dome, by this time they had changed DJs and the room was now 1/3 full. The crowd was not really getting into the groove and looked really sad as if the Berlin wall had be resurrected again.
We dragged ourselves back into the Hordern and danced to Mandy Rollins. The Dance floor was hard to shimmy the infamous Melbourne shuffle, so I minced over to the 7 eleven located on Bent St and purchased some much needed baby powder.
These bottles I distributed too many of the tourist around me, who then passed them on like full precious bottles of amyl to anyone in the nearby vicinity.
Soon this section of the floor closet to the DJ box became a cloud of white power filled with a paternal smell reminiscent of clean baby bottoms. Bliss at last.
I rest for a while in the bleaches and engage in some light conversation with tourist who questioned our obsession in using Sydney’s churned into butter and hardly cream showgirls. To quote one of the European’s “Why so many drag acts, don’t you have any other talent or performers”. This told me that Sydney Gay men have an unhealthy obsession for boring drag shows, and only confirmed my personal views why I prefer plastic straights or voodoo straights locked in tight cargo pants and stay at Home.
We mostly walked between the Hordern and the RHI for the rest of the night venturing out to the various meeting spots locating our many new international friends.
Together at 8 am we all converged into the RHI dance floor and caught the end of Paul Goodyear’s sensational set in which he now had all the punters that were left at the party going wild for his climatic finale.
As we danced in the RHI surrounded by a group of young tourist ready to depart directly for their flight huddled over matching pride luggage, our night had came to a sad close with the anthem “When will I see you again” sung by local lesbian soul goddess Shauna Jensen.
Shauna belted out this amazing punchy remixed version accompanied by some sexy and sultry professional dancers. “This time they are not Drag Queens for a change” commented the tourist from the bleaches.
In many ways Shauna’s performance was the highlight of the evening due to its lyrical poignancy about that moment in time, the Games “Farwell” it will never happen again.
“When will our hearts join together?” we wept as she sang out the familiar tune.
The answer was illuminated finally in fireworks at the stage rear….. ‘Montreal 2006’.
“I have a feeling in my waters this will be one games not to be missed Kimmie!”
See you all in Montreal Canada.
