Why the tantalising glamour of the dark? The grand red gleam and sweep of the Emperor’s guards, a beautiful woman with a whip, the imposing rubbery wings of devils, the poignancy of Milton’s fallen angel, Dante’s intriguing inferno? Is it because there is no penance without punishment, no remorse without reproach, pleasure can be found in pain? Do we crawl closer to ‘god’ when we confront pain and madness – when we peer through the glass darkly?
Certain genres of music express, facilitate, celebrate this process. They thrust you from the dust to the dust to which you shall return, they allow you to dance till you feel absolved to die. Grinding, precise, unrelenting, mechanical yet inherently human. The happy pills have worn off, and EBM, industrial and the harsher side of techno are back, with new producers such as David Carretta, The Hacker, Otto von Schirach and Christopher Kah joining long niche pioneers Nitzer Ebb, Nine Inch Nails, Front 242 and Front Line Assembly pounding us with punishment and politics.
Maybe these artists will some day be assembled in some grand gothic cathedral or abandoned bunker. If so, let us hope Hairy Condiment will join them – it’s their dream gig.
A birthday brainwave inspired ITM’s own ingenious Arianwen to suggest the unholy union of DJs Toupee (Nicole Lowrey) and Colonel Mustard (Damian Vick) – already well known for their nasty noises amongst their own respective crews, although not yet close associates. Arianwen wittily dubbed them ‘Hairy Condiment’ – and thus the name has stuck, as has the pair, terrorizing random and not so random parties around Melbourne. I have seen even lovers of all things ‘minimal’ and ‘funky’ finding themselves throbbing to the body beat. I gently prised the glue between Toups and Mustard to take a glimpse of the workings of these tremendously twisted yet uncannily aligned minds.
Was there a particular defining moment, a particular track, a particular person, a particular drug, that triggered you to play this way?
Toupee: Not really one moment, more a general motivation of righteous socio-political anger and a desire to strike at the heart and head. I’m ill suited for politics so body music was the only way forward.
Colonel Mustard: Running across the work of Terence Fixmer set me on a path of no return. Aside from that I think I have to acknowledge that despite the fact that I have many people who have influenced me over the years, my main encouragement and inspiration to embrace this particular kind of body music (besides my own inherent attraction) has been Nicole.
“Versus” connotes a certain competition. Do you compete, compare, challenge each other? Do you ever set each other up with seemingly impossible tracks to mix? Or is it strict cooperation, collaboration, coalition?
Colonel Mustard: I think there is a certain organic nature to what we do, albeit inside the music of the machine. I don’t think we compete in any real sense but I think we both like to impress the other. We present a united front based on a shared passion. Together we can explore different facets of dark and provocative music, hopefully presenting an atmosphere that is direct but still flexible within its intricacies.
Toupee: I’d admit that we have some healthy wariness of each other’s ability – and some vanity about the desire to impress with dexterity and intensity. I’ve never willingly ‘hobbled the horse’ and set Damian up something horrid to mix, as I hope we’re going to sound as good as possible as a team. I’m sure I’ve done that accidentally though, as our sets are never pre-planned and very spontaneous in track selection. I’d say we would definitely consider ourselves to be a coalition: united in solidarity for the body beat. We would like to consider ourselves a united front against musical mediocrity – as arrogant as that may sound.
Do you consult each other in preparation for your sets? If so – to what extent? If not, how do you achieve a satisfying set progression?
Toupee: A little, but I think we both like to surprise each other. Of course we have to negotiate on the Nitzer Ebb rights before each set
Colonel Mustard: It’s all very spontaneous and I kind of like keeping it that way. We seem to have a fair understanding of each other’s aesthetics and both have a certain sensitivity (or lack thereof) to the floor. Occasionally we discuss direction mid-set but the most preparation we ever really have is deciding who gets to play which Nitzer and NIN tracks. I think we have been able to avoid too much planning of our sets as Hairy Condiment is an outfit that does not compromise in our flavour; dark, hairy, grinding spice.
Is there any pattern / agreement to your sets (i.e. swap after x number of tracks)?
Toupee: It’s free for negotiation on any given night, at any given interval. However we often end up with a change at three – enough to build some momentum then hand over. Two is so fleeting – you mix out of theirs and have one of your own but with consideration for their next track. Three gives you at least one in the middle for pure indulgence?
What is the most rewarding aspect about playing together? What is the most frustrating aspect about playing together?
Toupee: Rewarding: DJing with someone I trust implicitly to make an appropriate move; seeing eye to eye with a fellow musician about musical aesthetics; being pleasantly surprised by a great track or well executed mix of great sounds. There is no bad here. Frustrating: that it doesn’t last for twelve hours rather than one to two hours.
Colonel Mustard: Nothing frustrates me about it really… Well maybe the fact I haven’t really learnt to use CDJ’s very well and am overdue to rectify that as Nicole is now scouring the darkest corners of the world for unreleased material that will never make it to vinyl. As for reward, the ability to share our passion for what is really quite a niche sound is reward enough it itself. Beyond that however, it warms me and inspires me when we can present emotionally charged, provocative and confronting music to a floor that does not expect it and is prepared to embrace styles and sounds it might not usually tolerate.
Do you primarily play for yourself, each other, the event, the floor or any other reason?
Colonel Mustard: All and none. I collect this music because I love it. I play it at home because I love it. I love playing it out so I can share it. As for playing to the floor, I think we do to a degree; we can alter the intricacies and certain levels of intensity but as Hairy Condiment there is a lot we are not prepared to sacrifice or compromise on.
Toupee: We play for the music – we serve the force of body music and I feel in some ways we’re just a conduit for dark sound to emerge. We both love and venerate this music and play for sensory satisfaction and to call attention to brilliantly made militant noise.
Yet whilst embracing the most abrasive music in the scene, the pairʼs latest separate acquisitions belie the more delicate and melodic elements of the dark.
What was the latest record you purchased?
Colonel Mustard: I was recently given a wonderful copy of Depeche Mode’s ‘Violator’.
Toupee: A Depeche Mode rarity (hangs head in the shame of an addict).
With Colonel Mustardʼs imminent departure on a tour of more earthly delights, this Hell will be Hairy Condimentʼs last showcase for some months. They have been allocated prime time. It will be special.
Don’t be afraid of the dark.
Hell is on next Saturday 9th June at 3rd Class.
KitiKat says...
Ooohhh i cannot wait!!!