Dance Music Disaster Gigs: Part Two

Sam La More

“So I was playing this gig in Beirut, as you do. It was some Paris Hilton VIP party, whatever that means. They had the Lebanese army flanking the dance floor, armed with machine guns. To say it was a weird gig is an understatement. Anyway, it all started out rather well until Paris arrived and started telling me what to play. “Play some Bob Sinclaire,” as she calls him, “I hate techno.” So I played some Steve Angello. She didn’t know the difference.

Five minutes later though, she had me kicked off the decks for not playing hip-hop. Well, after a bottle of Belvedere I thought it may have been appropriate to flick her the middle finger a few times, plug my headphones into the mic input on the mixer and blast her with a little Larry David-style “Fuck Huuuugh!” The Lebanese army did not agree. I was escorted out of the booth and interrogated by a rather angry minder who kept spitting in my face.

Fortunately one of the promoters dragged me into an underground bunker which had been turned into B018, a heaving DC-10 style club where we partied until dawn, singing along to Ladyhawke’s Paris is Burning. As Paris says, “Beirut rocks!”


Illya and that infamous ‘poo in the Home DJ booth’ incident

It’s got to be almost the ten year anniversary of it. We used it in an ad for The Globe. I think we took a photo of me at Home, and we hung a toilet roll on the little gate to the DJ booth, with the line: “Music so good, you’ll shit your pants” or something.

I’ll set the scene. It was packed up on the Terrace. I think I’d been playing for about half an hour at about 1am. I was mixing away, and I didn’t realise it had happened straight away. I went to look through my record bag, and it all happened so fast. When I grabbed a record and turned around to put it on, the dancefloor had pretty much disappeared. Like, boom, gone. I was like, “What the fuck did I do?”

People were calling out, and my mate’s looking at me over the Perspex, pointing down over the booth. I’m thinking he’s pointing at the record and I’m like, “Relax, I’m mixing!” And he was mouthing, “No, look at the floor!” I turned around and next to me was, well, a shit on the floor. I didn’t know what to do from there. I battled through it and they cleaned up around me. I was so in my groove, concentrating, that I’d been oblivious to what had happened. But there it was, and no one else was.

My friend Pete, one of the regulars up there, had a white shirt on. And ‘cause the girl who did it had shit all over her, trying to get her balance, she grabbed his shoulder and hand-printed him. He copped shit on his shirt. To his credit, he went home, got changed, and was back on the dancefloor. So that’s dedication.

I don’t know what happened to her. I don’t know if she had too much memory of the whole thing. If you’re in the state to think you’re in the toilet when you’re not, I don’t think you’re going to remember much. The story goes that she had left her handbag at the club, and that next week went and picked it up. So…I don’t know…maybe she went back during the week? Me personally, if I’d had a shit in the DJ booth and left my fucking bag next to it, that bag’s staying there.

I’ve had some mad, weird gigs, but I have another story that’s actually incredible. I went up to Newcastle to play The Brewery and it was Sunday evening. I was playing to virtually no one for the first hour. I turned around to grab a track out of my record bag and turned back around – to my surprise, I now had a full dancefloor of people with down syndrome and their minders. The love that the people were showing was amazing; all this great dancing. I’ll tell you what, they knew how to party! I haven’t seen anything like it.

I guess back then you’re looking through records, so you always had to turn your back. Nowadays with CDs you don’t have to turn around. So…there are less surprises now!

Comments

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westsdogs

westsdogs said on the 24th Apr, 2012

These are so good!!! ITM please do another one!

cherry vanilla

cherry vanilla said on the 24th Apr, 2012

Taking getting spastic on a night out to a whole new level.....

Dr Ranga

Dr Ranga said on the 24th Apr, 2012

"Lawler%u2019s manager Joel Zimmerman"

BMoney

BMoney said on the 24th Apr, 2012

Deadmau5 is Lawler's manger?? LOLer.

brown820

brown820 said on the 24th Apr, 2012

Joel Zimmerman is a fairly well known agent at William Morris Endeavor talent agency, no he is not deadmau5 lol. Coincidence.

Ghost Of SANDSLASH

Ghost Of SANDSLASH said on the 24th Apr, 2012

Mother, She lied to me .. She wasn't a virgin.

Dubz

Dubz said on the 25th Apr, 2012

I played a gig in the uk in a club with wooden floors, this guy stated breakdancing and he was pretty good but all the jumping around near the decks meant the needles kept skipping which was pretty fucking annoying.

Worst gig I went to was home nye 2009/10. They closed the doors for no reason so the club was half full and josh wink played to about 5 people in the top room and was then stopped only about a quarter of the way into his set. Lame.

GoodLove

GoodLove said on the 25th Apr, 2012

Mr Oizo still rules - "Fuck, your eye!!!

gets me every time

angy

angy said on the 25th Apr, 2012

This is awesome! So good. Some serious stuff going down, but the Sam La More one is hilarious. Fancy that strumpet is banging Afrojack now! :P

cizza

cizza said on the 25th Apr, 2012

I was at one of the Karnivool shows and yea, the crowd reaction for ShockOne was certainly mixed. Going from Over Reactor to ShockOne to Karni was a strange one but it kind of works - having a DJ play some tunes whilst the roadies change the stage setup is a great idea.

SlicyDicer

SlicyDicer said on the 25th Apr, 2012

but it%u2019s not often you have someone in a gas mask spraying you in the face with some sting-y, painful, white solution.%u201D

Nah Porter, I'm pretty sure you know all about it

katiecunningham

katiecunningham said on the 26th Apr, 2012

Poo story is so good. Soooo good.

angy

angy said on the 26th Apr, 2012

^^I was there that night! remember standing outside, when people started rushing downstairs with this incredulous look on their faces...

mister a

mister a said on the 26th Apr, 2012

Lawler is a tool! that is all I have to add

mischa21

mischa21 said on the 27th Apr, 2012

I played a gig in the uk in a club with wooden floors, this guy stated breakdancing and he was pretty good but all the jumping around near the decks meant the needles kept skipping which was pretty fucking annoying.

Worst gig I went to was home nye 2009/10. They closed the doors for no reason so the club was half full and josh wink played to about 5 people in the top room and was then stopped only about a quarter of the way into his set. Lame.

CSB

SANDSHREW

SANDSHREW said on the 28th Apr, 2012

DEPRIVE ME OF MY EVERLASTING LIFE

hamishlardi

hamishlardi said on the 29th Apr, 2012

Imagine if that dude killed himself at sydney creamfields yesterday.

juanfyanezv

juanfyanezv said on the 29th Apr, 2012

insane! I have a friend who was there when the shooting went on. F*CKN CRAZY!

HungryHippo

HungryHippo said on the 2nd May, 2012

hahahah @angy i read that as faeces not FACES hahahahaha fitting dont you think

mrmarkrigby

mrmarkrigby said on the 3rd May, 2012

top read. Illya's terrace sets at Home were the bomb!

reevedeejay

reevedeejay said on the 17th Aug, 2012

hahahaha Sam La More you LEGEND!