Who is Naoki?

[Funk Monk]

I'm intrigued, every week for god/buddha/ala knows how long there has been an add in the classsifieds of 3d "My name is Naoki...looking for a friend who loves clubbing, dancing, music....please call me...".

What's the story? Is this some scheme to lure drug fucked people into the back of some van late one night and then proceed to remove organs for sale.... I'd better go now, I just had a De Ja Vu.... must be a glitch in the matrix....

[birdie num num]

There is no spoon

[Funk Monk]

and don't worry about the vase..... : )

[Naoki]

Hello.

you go out this weekend ?

[Lulu]

lol

[Funk Monk]

oh my god, its naoki!

[NismoR31]

whats really going to bake your noodle later on is, would naoki have appeared if u hadn't said anything?

[FunkStu]

Just e-mailed him the link.

[birdie num num]

LOL @ Nismo big time!!

PS - hope u don't mind me dropping the R31, even tho it is such a beyoodiful specimen!

[Funk Monk]

hello operator...

[NismoR31]

its cool birdie.. i'd rather an r34 :)
nismo is easier to type

[Technogeekery]

Hah! Funk Monk, I've been wondering too...

<b>Clubbing Friend Wanted</b>

My name is Naoki. I'm Japanese male I'm looking for a friend who loves clubbing, dancing, music. If you know lots about clubs please call me / msg me on 0409 162 332 or email: goonaoki@hotmail.com See ya soon!

I've seen that ad there for over a year....I personally think it is a marketing ploy by 3D World to get a lucrative stream of Japanese clubbers posting similar ads - but Funk Monk's theory appeals too :)

I'll email this thread to naoki - watch this space...

[FunkStu]

"lucrative stream of Japanese clubbers posting similar ads"

Aren't personals free?

[birdie num num]

me love you long time. Looooooooooooong time

[NismoR31]

lol TG email the thread :)

[Funk Monk]

2 dolla sucky sucky? hmmm cartman in a mini skirt.... *shudder*

[Technogeekery]

No Stu

[Lulu]

he he

[Funk Monk]

good work TG, you've been promoted to detective. maybe i'll wear a shirt out this weekend that says "Are you Naoki?"

[Technogeekery]

I sense a classic thread in the making :)

[fUnKy1]

Taken from the 3d website

<b>PERSONAL MESSAGES ARE FREE
Call Michelle on 9211 1222.
We Want You To Be Heard.</b>


I got yo' back Stu!

f1

[fUnKy1]

Why doesn't someone call him and ask???? His number is there.

Maybe it's some millionaire looking to hand over his fortune, and is waiting patiently for the first kind hearted person to call and offer to help out this lonely Japanese clubber...

f1

[Technogeekery]

I just called them! They said call back later for rates!

Maybe personals on their website are free....?

[Funk Monk]

so the 3d marketing shennanigans are out of the question then.... i eagerly await the reply to TG's email

[Funk Monk]

heh heh f1, if only we were all as optimistic... can I have a few Gs when you call? : )

[Lulu]

funky-i assumed Naoki was a female!

[Scratching4Itch]

A friend of mine SMS him once and said she was keen to meet up as a joke and then a girl her rang back and abused her and said: " dont f%$k around yadada this is serious, poor guy just wants friends..." We were a little confused but laughing all night the same..

[fUnKy1]

I just called!

It went to voicemail. It's a Japanese guy for sure. I didn't leave a msg though....

Detective f1

[Funk Monk]

I knew a Naoki at school, it's a male name... but then maybe it's a name like George??

[Lulu]

lets all call and leave message

[fUnKy1]

It was a guy on the voicemail....and he says <b>Japanese Male</b> in the ad.

But yeah, it does sound a bit girly, probably cos of the "i" on the end.

f1

[Funk Monk]

hah s4i, and i'm still laughing now.... knowing me and my friends, He'd think we were all freaks if he met us.

[Lulu]

i think he may be the freak

[birdie num num]

'let's call and leave message'...(as opposed to leave A message) he he did u mean to do that Lulu?

I propose an 'Uncle Sam wants you' type pitch for Naoki to join ITM. Sounds like you have to get past a barrage of 'minders' tho...maybe an interview process? Should have put in his ad:

'Japanese male looking for someone to go clubbing with. Ability to withstand abuse from my biatches a plus. Desire to get it on with them in front of me a must'

/me picks up mind out of gutter, then drops it back in...it's much more fun down there!

[Funk Monk]

that's ridicurous! heh heh.

Maybe naoki is a pimp daddy....

[djruski]

I've been trying to get Naokion my breakfast show on Bondi FM (Wednesday mornings 8 to10), but he hasn't returned my calls. I want to interview him and offer him the chance to run his ad live on air to the Bondi massive!

Ruski.

[boz-e]

Naoki is a white slave trader

[AntiGFunk]

Get me back for what?

Confused.

[MadMike]

<img src="http://members.optushome.com.au/madmike/posts/naoki.jpg">

<b>MM</b>

[Technogeekery]

Stu - you gotta watch those aliases....

[Funk Monk]

maybe naoki needs to keep running the add becos his biatches aren't letting anyone talk to him... they probably listen to all his messages for him.... we need to free naoki!

[Funk Monk]

MM, you da man! larf!

[FunkStu]

Eh? What did I do and what alias are you talking about?

[Naoki]

hello friends.

it is no a joke. I live from Japan in June last. I love clubbing but am finding not enough friends to join in with. Thank you for your friends.

what is everyone doing this weekend for time ?

[pebble]

Naoki, are you are goodlooking boy?

[innA]

haha nice one mike

[Funk Monk]

hmmm, how do we test if this is the real deal...

[Lulu]

answer the phone god damn it naoki. Wanna come to mardi gras?

[central_smurf]

i wonder how many prank calls the guy actually gets

i bet if it was a girl from the uk or somewhere else, people would be more inclined to call.

maybe we should invite him to the two tribes warm up party, then we can get him wearing an itm t-shirt and ill paint 'hi, my name is Naoki, and i have finally found friends' on the back

the poor guy, if he is genuine, i feel sorry for him :(

[Funk Monk]

complete this sentence "ichi, ni san, sey, goh, roku, nana, hachi..."

[FunkStu]

Hey Naoki,

1) Nihon ni doko kara kita?

2) Nani ga ongaku daisuki?

3) Kinki Kids no "manager" wa dare deska?

[central_smurf]

FunkStu...you cant say stuff like that and not tell us what you are saying, i cant speak japanese....please explain yourself boy

[FunkStu]

It's a test. If he comes through, I'll tell you what I said.

[Naoki]

both you talking is not very good. You do not make sense.

No pebble I am not very good looking. I have good looking feelings and heart. Fo rme that is more important to friends. I would like a shirt for friends.

what are you doing this weekend for time ?

[Naoki]

I have a nipple ring for feelings too.

[Technogeekery]

Smurph, I like your idea! I'll email him a personal invitation to Warm-Up - free entry if he brings the cellphone with that number on it.

:)

[NismoR31]

*holding back laughter* i dunno whether to believe that or play along!?

MM - LOVE the artwork :))

[birdie num num]

/me doffs hat to MM, whilst secretly envying his graphics/internet/other geeky skills

[TwoUp]

I will have a watch on my wrist this weekend for time Naoki, what will you be doing for time this weekend?

[FunkStu]

That's pretty basic Japanese, Naoki. I'm sure it's not that hard to understand.

1) Where do you come from in Japan. What city? What prefecture? West or East?
2)What's your favourite music?
3) Who is the Kinki Kids manager?

OK, if you didn't understand me answer these.

1) Which old capital city of Japan in south of Kyoto?
2) Who is Ryuichi Sakamoto?
3) What is harikiri?
4) Which baseball team is called the Tigers?

C'mon. If you are Japanese these is very easy.

[Boonie]

Surely Naoki could become an icon,

answer your phone mate and come to two tribes with us all

[Funk Monk]

maybe we can attach a leash to that nipple ring...

[Funk Monk]

Stu, i think Naoki must have performed harikiri.... : )

[Lulu]

ummmm, okay i think we all know naoki isnt the real naoki!

[birdie num num]

I love it how you can tell who the author of the thread is 'cos they are usually the ones who are posting the most, or at least the most regularly. It's a fine feeling of information-sharing, combined with a love for talking sh*t, and just a smidgeon of ego-stroking. I do it too, I'm not pointing fingers...but I've never come across you before Funk Monk. Looks like you're onto a winner with this one, tho...

FREE NAOKI-SAN!!

[central_smurf]

fark im amused, TG, let me know what the outcome of the email is

and Naoki, you cant see feelings, but im sure they are good looking none the less, if you do go, i MAY make you a shirt LOL

"what am i doing this weekend for time?!!!" LOL ummm....going to the Mardi Gras, Naoki, im sure all the gay guys will love you for having such good looking feelings and heart, you should go, you will, im sure make heaps of friends there!!!

[Funk Monk]

cheers birdie, truth is i'm usually quite busy at work but today I'm so bored shitless I can't help but press refresh every 5 seconds (that's how long it takes to wait for a page on hotornot.com to load)

[FunkStu]

I am soooo blind to the glaringly obvious.

[Lulu]

but we are not (alias)

[central_smurf]

"I am soooo blind to the glaringly obvious"

arent we all FunkStu...so who is this person claiming to be Naoki? Reveal yourself

[FunkStu]

It's obvious from the beginning ;)

[Technogeekery]

Hahahahah - Lulu, you've come over all humorous - stoppit before everyone else starts liking you too

[Lulu]

the bitch is tired, but will be back

[Funk Monk]

will the real naoki please stand up, please stand up? :p

[birdie num num]

Should be the most smug person on this thread, they would be sticking around to see the effects of their cheek...who would that be? (s'not me, but I am curious!)

[central_smurf]

apart from the fact that i cant be bothered reading all the posts, and im blonde, just tell me who the hell it is...im going with the bird man or funk monk?

[Sherbos]

Stu: Japanese people can't generally read rumaji.

[Lulu]

well im a blonde and im a bitch so please tell me

[FunkStu]

The ones who are living in Australia shouldn't find it too hard.

[central_smurf]

lol at lulu, you and i would get on so well!!!

[Sherbos]

true... not that I ever thought Naoki was real ;)

[Naoki]

1) you meant Nara ?
2) Ryuichi Sakamoto is best composer in Japan. Also good for TV.
3) I wont talk about harikiri you know this
4) hanshin. my team. I feel for them lots.


do you must have so much serious with you Funkstu ? Do you not feel fun times when you are presented byu them? let go and be free.

What are you doing this weekend for tim Funkstu ?

[Funk Monk]

what me?? no I'm not quiet so bored, besides wouldnt it be too much hassle to switch from handle to handle... ?

Smurph, I don't think that saying that you're blonde is a valid excuse anymore : )

[Lulu]

is Tim your mardi gras lover?

[FunkStu]

What about the first three?

[Technogeekery]

Everybody should have at least one Tim this weekend

[Naoki]

not for tim, but for time. Tim plays baseball for the Hanshin Tigers. He is good looking peble.

He will be playing baseball for fun this weekend.

Thing is not always as they seem.

[Lulu]

lol at this entire thread!!

[Funk Monk]

Funk Stu, I think you've found yo'self a new friend : )

[central_smurf]

fark...LOL

ok, guys, learn how to spell smurf, SMURF...not smurph...geeze

fine, i wont use the excuse im blonde anymore, im just dumb

[FunkStu]

Incidentally, I find it amazing you can construct complex verb tenses yet stuff up and overuse vocabulary. Really quite un-Japanese.

P.S. What is "Yamato Damashi'?

[Funk Monk]

sorry smerf ;p

[birdie num num]

Funk Stu and Naoki sitting in a tree,
K-I-S-S-I-N-G

Smurf - bird *man*? Reminds me of that line on the Simpsons last night

Russian chick (gettin' cozy with Moe): After Chernobyl, my penis fell off
Moe: And 'penis' is Russian for...?

Smurf, my penis hasn't fallen off 'cos I never had one. Attached to my body that is ;P

[Naoki]

A fighting club.

How do you know so many things? You know much but you dont know the rules for other people. I can know you have been teched by a Japanese person but it was all teached in a short time. Did you have busy weekends? Do you go clubbing? Will you teach me more english speaking?

When you have time that is good. I can pay you back by teach you more about my ancestors country if you wish.

[central_smurf]

oh, for some reason i assumed you were a guy, dont know why.

no problem funky monky!

ok, well its bird girl then!

[Funk Monk]

Smurf... I am a guy, are you trying to get back at me?

[birdie num num]

Maybe it's 'cos the chicks dig me...geddit...chicks? Birdie num num?

/me calls it a day, or at least calls it an hour for a meeting with my boss! Aahhh!

[djsimonmann]

Naoki, if you are genuine, you seem like a nice guy..

this is very funny tho.....

Thanks.

[central_smurf]

no funk monk!!! stop being paranoid...i love guys, when they arent assholes!

[FunkStu]

I studied Japanese history, economics and culture at Uni. I lived there for two and a half years. Thank you for your kind offer but I have reached the end of my studies on Japan.

P.S. Yamato Damashi refers to the Japanese spirit. A bit like "British Bulldog"

[Funk Monk]

Funk Stu, you've called the bluff, if you look up Yamato Damashi on the web, you get a fight club : ), not the true meaning.

Smurf, paranoia has left the bulding...

[pebble]

Naoki you not goodlookin? oh....You goin to march in one of the floats??

[NismoR31]

too many


naoki - it's engRish dammit engRish!!!! :)

[FunkStu]

For those who were asking.

thread Naoki = Funk Monk = ?

[MadMike]

<img src="members.optushome.com.au/madmike/posts/hooray4.jpg">

<b>MM</b>

[Beegie]

This thread is going straight to the pool room!

[MadMike]

<img src="http://members.optushome.com.au/madmike/posts/hooray4.jpg">

<b>MM</b>

[Funk Monk]

I deny those allegations, my defence minister was told about the truth behind the Naoki Overboard affair, however, I have never been informed!

[discoloop]

It's a conspiracy, I tell you! Naoki doesn't exist. He never did. The ad was just placed into 3D by a mobile phone company as a way of coaxing unsuspecting punters into making calls onto their network.

Didn't you notice that Naoki is an anagram of Nokia? Subliminal Advertising.

[Lulu]

ahhhh

[NismoR31]

doesnt mean we cant stop having fun with this thread :)

[peedah]

very good disco.

[birdie num num]

MM, thanks for making me laugh while I was on the phone to our photographer!! I'm not opening one of your posts again while I'm talking to someone!

[jimbo]

for gods sake! this post is about 112 messages long about nothing!! man, we shouldnt be asking who is naoki, we should be asking more meaninful questions, like 'WHERE is naoki?' 'who am i?' and so forth. and thats jimbo's two cents (thats right! i'm bored!)

[Naoki]

very good jimbo, you seek answers to more better questions than funkstu. You have come far my son.

wemember : A book holds a house of gold.

[FunkStu]

@!#$. I never realised. Everybody, could you please only make posts about sensible topics so we don't upset jimbo.

[NismoR31]

what kind of @!#$ is naoki on?

[FunkStu]

Naoki = Yoda

[Technogeekery]

I sense we are on the path to true enlightenment here.

[Funk Monk]

tree falling in the woods...

nice thought about the Naoki = Nokia, but then how do you explain Scratching4Itch's post ...

"A friend of mine SMS him once and said she was keen to meet up as a joke and then a girl her rang back and abused her and said: " dont f%$k around yadada this is serious, poor guy just wants friends..." We were a little confused but laughing all night the same.."

[Technogeekery]

I invited Naoki to Warm-Up, and have posted his reply verbatim here:

From: "tokyo naoki" <goonaoki@hotmail.com>
To: technogeekery@inthemix.com.au
Subject: from real naoki
Date: Thu, 28 Feb 2002 06:37:22 +0000

oh!men!today,i checked the inthemix.com.au,then i realy
suprised!oh,god!!!!!!
yes,i am real naoki.but i didnt know im so famous till i saw the {whos

naoki?}ads!
ok,may be i can go now!may be..............???????but most important
thing,i
realy needs are nice music&dancing,pretty babe.oh,yes and cool djs.
am i naoki?who knows..........who cares.who is naoki?may be just fuckin

jankies.may be just fuckin stupid ass fucker.like jack the ripper,who never

knows.......like urban legend........naoki looking for
somethin??????seeking
something.......but who cares.......well,you can call
me sometime,but remember
please show me your number........r u
scarely?naoki


>From: Technogeekery <technogeekery@inthemix.com.au>
>Reply-To: technogeekery@inthemix.com.au
>To: goonaoki@hotmail.com
>Subject: Party Invitation
>Date: Wed, 27 Feb 2002 19:18:43 -0800 (PST)
>
>Hi Naoiki - if you are genuine, come and meet up with a big bunch of us
at
the Warm-Up party on Sat 9th, 3pm-7pm. We are a friendly bunch - if
you are
genuine, I think you'll have a good time :-)
>
>Bring your cellphone with the number you have in the advertisement as

proof of who you are and we'll let you in free - just ask for me at the

door. Details on the flyer below.
>
>Cheers

__________________________________________________ ____

There you have it - the mysterious Naoki will be unveiled at the Warm-Up party! (or will he?)

[Dioxin]

why wasn't he unveiled at chalk? didn't someone claim they were bringing him?

[krafty_x]

I am dubious. Well no I'm krafty but....

As if Naoki would be on here if his letter stayed in 3D ALL that time. Do we really think he (the real one) has been pointed in the right direktion after this single post.

I suspekt foul play.

Foul play being the chicken that won't own up to this hoax post.

k_x oxo :P

[Debz]

"jankies.may be just fuckin stupid ass fucker.like jack the ripper,"

bwaahhahahahahaha.... riiiight :)

[REAL NAOKI]

thanks thanks!!!everybody thanks!!!this is real naoki!oh god!!!someone looking for me?oh,.men! minnabokunokotowo sagasiteirunndesuka?nantekottai!!!tr(translate),ev ery body looking for me?oh!god!!! minna genkikai? tr,every body fine?
crabingu shiteru?tr,enjoy clubbing?kawaii onnanoko inaikana?tr,where is my pretty babes?bokuwa kinpatsu ga iitte ittakedo,hontouwa kurokami ya,chapatsu,akage,aoime ni kuroime,midoriironome, chairoime nandemo iindesu. tr,i said i love blonde girls.but actually,black hair,brown hair,red hair,blue eyes,and black eyes,green eyes,doesnt matter!!!
dareka amaesasetekurenaikanaa!!!!!!! tr,i wish i could find someone who spoil me!!!!! amai amai onnanoko.......demo,bokuwa tottemo shai nanda. ne-e? tr,sweet,sweet girls.......but im very shy you know?maybe should i have to have {naoki's fan club}?oh!god!dreaming again!!!!demn!men!men!men!men!men!men!men!
men!men!men!man!man!man!MAN!I FEEL LIKE A WOOMAN!FOU!!!!!!!
sorry,i havent got real sence of humour actuarlly.im a bit paranoia&mental-fuckin-illness so.alright,see you around!!!!friday is my favorite {striptease night in kingsscross}so.oh?what?there are some event?where is that?ok,ok,ill go.
ill cancel my favorite striptease show.mmmmmmmmm?naoki

[innA]

naoki = promoter

[Debz]

this is all getting a bit silly

[Technogeekery]

More from the real naoki - this came from the address in 3D ....

From: "tokyo naoki" <goonaoki@hotmail.com>
To: technogeekery@inthemix.com.au
Subject: real naoki!!!!to clubbin lover!!!!!
Date: Thu, 28 Feb 2002 07:40:12 +0000

ok.may be i can go.and i want mention 1 thing!i saw the inthemix ad and
i
found NOT REAL NAOKI there!!!!!!the user name shown the ad as NAOKI is
NOT
REAL.the user is fucked!!!!!!!!!im real naoki.ok,i speak jap.oi!!!nisemono

naoki!!!!
oreno mane sunnjya ne-yo!!!!orewa kinnpatsu girl ga
daisukinanndayo!!!!sorekara
aussie girls mo sukinanndayo!!!!!waruikayo!!!!!!demo orewa gay
janaize!!!!orewa

streight da yoooooooon!!!!!!boku wa samisii otokonoko.oh!kawaii onnanoko

inaikana!!!!translate to english......oi!!!fuckin imitation naoki!fuckin

stop men!!!!dont do that ass hole!!!yeah,i realy love blonde girl&aussie

girls too.am i freak?i dont think so!!!but remember im not gay!!!!!!i am

streight meeeeeeeeeen!!!i am lonely boy,where is my pretty girl........oh

lonely.something like this.ok?oh!its time i gatta go!!!!i gatta go to my

secret mission!!!!!!!!
mission impossible??????????????????naoki

__________________________________________________ _____

I said this would be a classic thread :)

[Delerious]

OMFG!

/me is slackjawed in utter disbelief

after gaining some composure I have just spent the last five minutes rolling around laffing on the floor under my desk!

yikes!

hope you got the bouncers in full effect there TG!

del :o)

[central_smurf]

nice work TG!!!

Im pissing myself laughing alread and its only 8.40am. This day can only get better, especially seeings as though this is my last day at work...oh YaY!

[FunkStu]

Hen nano!

[Lulu]

lovin it

[NismoR31]

if yesterday is anything to go by, im gonna be crying most of the day. what a fuckin pisser yesterday on ITM was :)

i'll believe naoki exists & is a genuine psychopath when i see him & proof its him on sat 9th....

[fUnKy1]

Well Naoki seems alittle hyperactive don't you think?!?!

hehehe.....

c-l-a-s-s-i-c

f1

[MadMike]

I think he's a fuckin champ.

<b>MM</b>

[Jiminy]

what a strange boy

[Technogeekery]

Del, I'm going to introduce you to him as someone I think could be his special friend....I think you need one.

;-)

[FunkStu]

Special friend, my magic friend.

<i>No, no..no,no,no,no...no,no,no,no...no,no, there's no limits</i>

[sexjuanate]

Can I have some Ritalin please?

[Twiddle Bug]

Naoki = serial killer

[Funk Monk]

OMF.ckingG . I leave this thread overnight and what happens? it gets exponentially crazier! I have tears from larfing so hard :,)

Naoki (real one), what's with all the exclamation marks!!!!!!??????? Give the man a valium!

[MadMike]

Maybe we've all struck upon the reason why the ad is still there?

No more red cordial for that fella!

<b>MM</b>

[djsimonmann]

Why hasn't anyone tried to called the "need women for overseas travel" ads in 3d, lets get the sleazy business man on here and ask him questions about what he is trying to acheive ?

S

[Globule]

My god! What demon have we unleashed from the bowels of Pergatory!?!?

I wonder if Naoki's "secret mission" is his nightly visit to the local laudromat to see what unsuspecting females he can rob of their newly laundered (or perhaps unlaundered) underwear?

[Funk Monk]

S: it's probably naoki wanting to take back a harem

[NismoR31]

lets hope he doesnt trash the warm-up for TT. think he needs about 10 valiums

[Lulu]

djdsimonmann good idea!

[MadMike]

Lulu - Stop being nice. Its disconcerting.

<b>MM</b>

[Delerious]

TG I dun need any more special friends babe, I have you and Globule to keep me bewildered! Dun even think about it!

/me runs and hides behind her imaginary friends

del :op

[Lulu]

why dont you just @!#$ off MM

[Technogeekery]

Thats better. I thought Lulu had gone for one of those new personality transplants...

[Funk Monk]

I propose we put a bounty out to catch the fake naoki... then we put the real naoki and the fake naoki in the ring for some full contact blood sport.... what better way to warm up 2T?

[krafty_x]

The magic friend is what I am....

e oo e oo e oo e oo

lol

This is way funny @!#$.

k_x oxo

[NismoR31]

* ding ding *
sounds like a great idea FM, but then we gotta find a good looking girl to hold the cards up :)
/me packs up & fucks off before the girls rip him to bits for that comment :P

[Funk Monk]

Nismo, we can hold a competition... I'll volunteer my time to be a judge ; )

/me runs after Nismo, jumps in the R31 whilst dodging bullets from pissed ITM ladies ....

[Lulu]

its no competition really

[Funk Monk]

so Lulu, if you were Prime Minister, what would you do to make Australia a better place...

[Lulu]

7-9 pm every night is compulsory Hard House listening for every household (@!#$ i think im going to lose this comp)

[FunkStu]

Funk Monk is the king of red herrings who we shall coincidentally call Fake Naoki.

[Lulu]

can we call Funk Monk Funkstu?

[FunkStu]

Can I call you Kandi?

[Funk Monk]

what the?! once again, I deny those allegations, they are unfounded! I am neither FunkStu or Fake Naoki, I shall take a polygraph to prove it : )

but Lulu, as you seem to be the only one in the comp so far, you're doing pretty well.

[Lulu]

i prefer kandi kane

[FunkStu]

Funk Monk is my gimp.

[NismoR31]

lulu you've won my vote already. coz u know what hard house is & it should be listened to frequently :)

[CheelWinston]

hello chief lets talk why not?

[Lulu]

huh? the the thread just keeps getting wierder

[FunkStu]

Hard House is normal person speak for "cunt flaps"

[Funk Monk]

time to get medieval on yo ass....

[Lulu]

i thought "cunt flaps" in another name for pussy house

[central_smurf]

ok, 'cunt flaps' would have to be the most disgusting thing i have heard in a long long time...excuse your foul mouth...fark that is so gross

[Dragonbeats]

Did anyone stop to wonder why Naoki has not postyed since REAL NAOKI took the piss big time??? Or am I just way behind with this one????

[Lulu]

thank you for bringing the thread back to Naoki

[Dragonbeats]

Did anyone stop to wonder why Naoki has not posted since REAL NAOKI took the piss bigtime??? Or am I way behind on this one??????

[NismoR31]

i find those two words to be highly amusing when put together like that :)

[Funk Monk]

yes, yes we were getting carried away with lulu in a bikini, me in a leather outfit and what hard house translates to... I think we're on a marketing winner "Are you the ITM Naoki?"

[central_smurf]

you would nismor, you are a male...farking ferral i say

by the way, funk monk, not long till you hit the 200 posts, way to go sweet

[discoloop]

"c*** flaps" isn't so bad. The worst term I ever heard for that part of a womans anatomy was a "badly packed kebab".

[Lulu]

so anyway Naoki............

[NismoR31]

hmm... wonder if i can get a modetator to kill this thread before it reaches 200? :P hehe

(not really im enjoying it too much)

[central_smurf]

ok, just so we dont hijack the naoki thread, and so you all dont gross me out, can we PLEASE NOT start talking about the different names of womens parts...please i get enough of it from my brother, and yes badly packed kebab is bad

[Lulu]

Maybe the imposter will step forward before the 200th post

[Funk Monk]

hmmm, Naoki hasnt posted here for a while, although he has posted on one of the other 2 naoki threads.... we must be vigilant in the pursuit of Naoki and those who harbour Naoki..

[Dragonbeats]

Vertical Seafood Taco.........

[NismoR31]

hijack the naoki thread? i think that was completed a long time ago :)

disco: "badly packed kebab" haha never heard that 1 b4 :)

cs u gotta understand when we talkin like that its all in jest. it doesnt mean anything & i certainly dont picture anything if i say it.

[Lulu]

people people please dont fill this serious thread with mindless drivel

[central_smurf]

i know i know, god im not that dense...but thankyou for your concern!

dragonbeats, gotta tell my little brother that one :)

[FunkStu]

Last couple from me.

hairy oyster
vertical smile
flat (big) mac
gash

And now, back to Naoki.

[Funk Monk]

ride the punani............. maybe Naoki likes dirty talk and we can lure him back?

[Lulu]

no i think naoki is naive and innocent arent you naoki

[NismoR31]

lulu which thread would that be? arent they all full of mindless drivel? (eventually)

[Technogeekery]

I'd be verrrry careful indeed with that tactic Lulu....

Please do not tempt the Naoki (especially if you are a woman)

[central_smurf]

obviously they are, we are posting about our own drivel!

[Dioxin]

enough potty talk, children.

i want to see these damn Naokis, real and fake!!
if there isn't one of the 2 at the warm-up then i'm going to be rather bitter...

[miss apple]

hairy oyster???? eeewwww

[Lulu]

ITM naoki dolls are the lastest clubbing accessory

[central_smurf]

beaded oyster...sorry i couldnt help myself even though i chucked a tantrum

[Technogeekery]

I know the fake one will be there...

[Funk Monk]

my new ring tone spells "naoki" in morse code : p

[Lulu]

stop it, your scaring poor naoki away

[Funk Monk]

a penny drops....

[FunkStu]

Naoki likes bukkake

[Lulu]

i heard naoki loves hard house

[central_smurf]

we just managed to get this thread over 200 posts talking about absolute @!#$...well done guys!

[Funk Monk]

hey this is great, balloons are going off, there's confetti and show girls and here's a guy in an ITM shirt presenting me with a giant oversized novelty cheque for making it to the ITM 200 Posts Club... I would like to thank my brothers and sisters, god, my producer, my agent and most of all Naoki... (aka TG)

[Technogeekery]

Naoki goes double gold...

[Lulu]

whoops and all along i thought it was funkstu. Now here comes 300..........

[MrClean]

from the sheer amount (and the tone of) of posts from lulu it is obvious he is fake naoki.

[NismoR31]

is there really a real naoki thats been on here tho? how can anyone know for sure unless we get moderators to match ip addresses?

[miss apple]

and I thought *I* was slow

[Lulu]

no, no real naoki. therefore we must still pursue him

[Lulu]

and i thought *i* was a bitch

[Funk Monk]

The weekend awaits, may buddha bless this thread so that i can laugh at something on Monday morning.

[Freakin_Peakin]

i don't think this thread is gonna make it to 300, already it has fallen apart and ppl r talkin abt random @!#$.

[Technogeekery]

Nup. I've never had another moniker on ITM, never will. The REAL NAOKI is the real Naoki. I also know who the fake Naoki is - and he/she will be at Warm-Up too...

Forfeits, anyone?

:-)

[Lulu]

yeah but you never know. it might just take a while

[NismoR31]

it's your mum isnt it TG? :)

[NismoR31]

or would that be funkstu?

[Technogeekery]

Leave Mother out of this. She's had a crappy week, what with having to come to Australia again, dealing with that dreadful GG and slimy little Howard. At least Keating was good looking, if she had to mauled by anyone, but she says Johnny is a disgusting squirmy little toad and his breath smells.

[Beegie]

May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Naoki please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Naoki please stand up?
We're gonna have a problem here..

Y'all act like you never seen a Japanese person before
Jaws all on the floor like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the door
and started whoopin her ass worse than before
they first were divorce, throwin her over furniture (Ahh!)
It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,
he didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
And Dr. Dre said... nothing you idiots!
Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!)
Feminist women love Naoki {*vocal turntable:
chigga chigga chigga*} "Naoki, I'm sick of him
Look at him, walkin around grabbin his you-know-what
Flippin the you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's so cute though!"
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse, than what's goin on in your parents' bedrooms
Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't
but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
"My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"
And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
By the time they hit fourth grade
They got the Discovery Channel don't they?
"We ain't nothing but mammals.." Well, some of us cannibals
who cut other people open like cantaloupes {*SLURP*}
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
{*EWWW!*} But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes


I'm Naoki, yes I'm the real Naoki
All you other Naokis are just imitating
So won't the real Naoki please stand up,
please stand up, please stand up?

Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records;
well I do, so @!#$ him and @!#$ you too!
You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
"But Naoki, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here?
So you can, sit me here next to Britney Spears?
@!#$, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
so I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
and hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first
You little bitch, put me on blast on MTV
"Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee!"
I should download her audio on MP3
and show the whole world how you gave Naoki VD {*AHHH!*}
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me
so I have been sent here to destroy you {*bzzzt*}
And there's a million of us just like me
who cuss like me; who just don't give a @!#$ like me
who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
and just might be the next best thing but not quite me!

I'm like a head trip to listen to, cause I'm only givin you
things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
The only difference is I got the balls to say it
in front of y'all and I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all
I just get on the mic and spit it
and whether you like to admit it {*ERR*} I just @!#$ it
better than ninety percent of you rappers out can
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums
It's funny; cause at the rate I'm goin when I'm thirty
I'll be the only person in the nursin home flirting
Pinchin nurses asses when I'm jackin off with Jergens
And I'm jerkin but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working
And every single person is a Naoki lurkin
He could be workin at Burger King, spittin on your onion rings
{*HACH*} Or in the parkin lot, circling
Screaming "I don't give a @!#$!"
with his windows down and his system up
So, will the real Naoki please stand up?
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?

[REAL NAOKI]

yeah!!!this,this picture!!!how do you make it?good job!!!!you are the man!!!!(girl?)
see you soon!!!!naoki

[h0rf_unmixed]

221 posts in 28 hours.
thats 7.8928571429 posts an hour.
.13154761905 posts a minute.
<br>
<b>bored?</b>

[Funk Monk]

i've got a big bottle of valium here.....

[REAL NAOKI]

who is this?naoki

[REAL NAOKI]

so,who is this?naoki

[peakin bunny]

mmmmm whats the @!#$ is going on

[REAL NAOKI]

this naoki is fake.naoki

[REAL NAOKI]

go mardigra.naoki

[miss apple]

nasty nasty lulu

[markeee]

wowdidmyheadin.

':e )

[REAL NAOKI]

1.nihonwa doko syusshin desuka?
2.donna onngakuga sukinano?
3.correct.i dont know the manager of kinki kids though.

you should practice japanese more! i study more english.naoki

[REAL NAOKI]

hallo!!!!naoki

[NismoR31]

im lost, & im going home.

screw you fake naoki :)

[REAL NAOKI]

thats absolutely right.i saw the video before.you wanna try some?naoki

[Technogeekery]

hello naoki :-)

[REAL NAOKI]

hallo!see you soon!naoki

[REAL NAOKI]

sorry.to lovely girl from naoki

[REAL NAOKI]

is this name?anyway,see you lovely girl!(or are you male?)

[Technogeekery]

Yeah, see you Saturday week, darling

TG

oxoxoxoxox

[REAL NAOKI]

hallo?are you there?naoki

[REAL NAOKI]

see ya!naoki

[Technogeekery]

bye, naoki.

[krafty_x]

naoki karaoki.

k_x oxo

[Lambretta]

This has got to be the funnniest thread I have read in ages.

Everyone at work is calling the assylum to have me certified but I don't care as I've pissed myself laffin 3 times, fallen off my wobbly chair twice (thanks MM) and wondered at the amazing knowledge of FunkStu.

PS I will get my vallium pescrition renewed in time for the warm up gig !!

[REAL NAOKI]

naoki karaoke harakiri geisha fujiyama kamikaze ninja..........
yes i love karaoke.anyway,i been to "whats your porn name?" thread&"what do you want?" thread. inthemix.com.au..........this is realy nice web site isnt it!?
im not promoter though.naoki

[REAL NAOKI]

byebye.see you soon!naoki

[h0rf_unmixed]

lol. Real Naoki is already top poster for this week!


not.

<b>bored?</b>

[deb112]

OMG
that totally did my head in

but i laughed my ass off

Deb
xx

[Technogeekery]

I've worked it out. Naoki - when you go on the threads, at the top there is a button that says "Flat View". Click that. everything starts making more sense for you, and (especially) for us.

[Dioxin]

i thought i had this sorted.....but now it's all gone to @!#$.