Fabmacca
16-Jan-06, 11:23am
Chronicles of Narnia : The blah, the blah and the blah (2004) Directed by Andrew Adamson. Screenplay by Ann Peacock and Andrew Adamson and Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely. Based on the novel by C.S.Lewis.
I used to love this series of books but, like most things I loved in my youth, revisiting things as an adult somehow lost the magic. I actually attempted to re-read the series about 12 months ago but, rather than being enchanted by the books as I was in my youth, this time around I got bored enough through the first book to stop completely.
Accordingly my expectations for this movie were low. This turned out to be a good thing because while the movie wasn't that bad, it was also not that good either. I guess I wasn't clamouring for the exit two hours into the film, but part of that was because the cinema seat was relatively comfortable and the drive home was only five minutes.
What this movie lacked, I think, was heart. I know, a movie made by a massive international conglomeration without heart. Who knew? Anyway, it was either that or I lacked heart, because I really didn't like any of the characters, especially the main ones. They were just a little too noble, a little too boring, and a little too British.
As to the mystical creatures? Yeah... they were okay, but they had about as much depth and complexity as characters from Star Wars or Lord of the Rings. There's, like, two characters who switch allegiance, otherwise everyone with bad teeth or a sweaty face is is evil; while everyone else is good. The White Queen wears white but she's actually evil, which is about as much of a subversion of audience expectations as this film ever manages.
The film does one or two things okay (1. the one brother who threatens to betray his siblings 2. the instrumental score by the guy who did Spy Game and co-composed Shrek) but also does a lot of things less well. One-dimensional characters aside, you have a brother who is so easily led astray by candy that he doesn't realise the White Witch is evil; you have an evil witch who, we learn later, doesn't actually kill anyone but rather freezes them so they can be revived later in the crucial battle (oh, wait. did I spoil something?); you have a noble lion king who sacrifices himself except he does no such thing because there's a legal loophole on the sacrificial altar he's on when he's "killed" that he already knew about beforehand (oh. wait. I spoiled that too); all this and Santa Claus shows up and gives the kids weapons as well.
I'll just repeat that last sentence again.
all this and Santa Claus shows up and gives the kids weapons as well.
" *(#&K, you are kidding me!!" was my approximate response at that part.
An old bearded man in a sled drawn by reindeer stops and gives the oldest brother a sword, the oldest sister a bow and arrows, and the younger sister a vial of potion that can cure any injury, no matter how mortal. Holy crap, all Santa ever gave me was socks and the odd Transformer toy, while the littlest sister essentially gets mastery over death!
Does it get any easier for our protagonists in this movie? Well, yes: there is, after all, a prophecy that says 2 "sons of Adam" and "2 sons of Eve" will bring balance to the force, destroy Sauron's evil ring and defeat the Green Goblin and sell a million happy meals and whatever else I wasn't really listening to at that time. It was in the trailer anyway. And by sheer coincidence, when you add the other brother to his three good siblings, the prophecy is satisfied (hurrah!!).
Really, this kind of stuff leaves me pretty cold, and sure I'm analysing this as an adult, but come on. Still, I've seen worse.
I give it 4.5 out of 10.
I used to love this series of books but, like most things I loved in my youth, revisiting things as an adult somehow lost the magic. I actually attempted to re-read the series about 12 months ago but, rather than being enchanted by the books as I was in my youth, this time around I got bored enough through the first book to stop completely.
Accordingly my expectations for this movie were low. This turned out to be a good thing because while the movie wasn't that bad, it was also not that good either. I guess I wasn't clamouring for the exit two hours into the film, but part of that was because the cinema seat was relatively comfortable and the drive home was only five minutes.
What this movie lacked, I think, was heart. I know, a movie made by a massive international conglomeration without heart. Who knew? Anyway, it was either that or I lacked heart, because I really didn't like any of the characters, especially the main ones. They were just a little too noble, a little too boring, and a little too British.
As to the mystical creatures? Yeah... they were okay, but they had about as much depth and complexity as characters from Star Wars or Lord of the Rings. There's, like, two characters who switch allegiance, otherwise everyone with bad teeth or a sweaty face is is evil; while everyone else is good. The White Queen wears white but she's actually evil, which is about as much of a subversion of audience expectations as this film ever manages.
The film does one or two things okay (1. the one brother who threatens to betray his siblings 2. the instrumental score by the guy who did Spy Game and co-composed Shrek) but also does a lot of things less well. One-dimensional characters aside, you have a brother who is so easily led astray by candy that he doesn't realise the White Witch is evil; you have an evil witch who, we learn later, doesn't actually kill anyone but rather freezes them so they can be revived later in the crucial battle (oh, wait. did I spoil something?); you have a noble lion king who sacrifices himself except he does no such thing because there's a legal loophole on the sacrificial altar he's on when he's "killed" that he already knew about beforehand (oh. wait. I spoiled that too); all this and Santa Claus shows up and gives the kids weapons as well.
I'll just repeat that last sentence again.
all this and Santa Claus shows up and gives the kids weapons as well.
" *(#&K, you are kidding me!!" was my approximate response at that part.
An old bearded man in a sled drawn by reindeer stops and gives the oldest brother a sword, the oldest sister a bow and arrows, and the younger sister a vial of potion that can cure any injury, no matter how mortal. Holy crap, all Santa ever gave me was socks and the odd Transformer toy, while the littlest sister essentially gets mastery over death!
Does it get any easier for our protagonists in this movie? Well, yes: there is, after all, a prophecy that says 2 "sons of Adam" and "2 sons of Eve" will bring balance to the force, destroy Sauron's evil ring and defeat the Green Goblin and sell a million happy meals and whatever else I wasn't really listening to at that time. It was in the trailer anyway. And by sheer coincidence, when you add the other brother to his three good siblings, the prophecy is satisfied (hurrah!!).
Really, this kind of stuff leaves me pretty cold, and sure I'm analysing this as an adult, but come on. Still, I've seen worse.
I give it 4.5 out of 10.