Meeting guys/girls on the net.

[jamesy]

Ok, so the other day i met this guy on the net, just by chance. Then he gave me his mobile no. and we started sms'ing each other. He seemed real cool and we got along real well.

Then he sent me a pic of himself and it wasn't what i expected. Now, i'm not interested in him anymore and he continues to sms me. My guy friends tell me to ignore the sms's and he will get the hint. I feel bad about it all now so what should i do??? Tell him i'm not interested or just do the cowardly thing and ignore the sms's??

[Iain]

why do people always asume people they met on the net are going to be attractive?

just tell him your not interested. honesty is often the best way.

[redambition]

right. so he's obviously nice... but after seeing his pic you realise he's not a nick hudson look-a-like.

get over the shallowness. its not all about the looks.

[calis]

be mature and tell him.

[phunkdust]

tell him you're a deformed aboriginal lesbian that can only say the word "vicaridge" on every second tuesday and really likes playing with cabbage patch kids...

[kramis]

Originally posted by Iain
why do people always asume people they met on the net are going to be attractive?i assume everyone is a 45year old overweight pervert
until i find out otherwise

[Iain]

Originally posted by kramis
i assume everyone is a 45year old overweight pervert
until i find out otherwise

Thats because your smarter than me :meh::(

[davinyljunky]

fuk it i say just bar him.....
take me instead i'm tall dark and hansome with looks to die for... i'm a lawyer...
i live in a penthouse apartment...
i like long romantic walks on the beach....
as well as roasting chestnuts over a fire place and getting lost in that special someone eyes...
i say a girl comes first i always offer to pay and hold the door open while she walks on bye....

ohhh yeah and i am loaded with $$$$$

[Sherbos]

i assume everyone is a 45year old overweight pervert
:lol:

That's the attitude to have.

Is all you've seen a photo? Does he have an extra leg or eye or something? Photos are often misleading...

[SPOKEYDOKEY]

tell him you're real name is phunkdust :p

[Psycho_182]

the same thing happened to me twice!!!
and when you find out that there not what you expected you dont know what to do with out feeling bad!!
i just told them that i found someone, and that we can still be internet friend.

awww, im a bad person:(

[phunkdust]

spokes, you know i'm gonna rip you a new one, dont you? 8-)

[sofu]

Hmm. So that explains your pm to me, jamesy. :)


The answer is no, it isn't.

[SpaceMonkey]

I once used to chat to theis "girl" on ICQ a few years ago who admitted after a week or so that "she" was actually a pre-op transsexual. I made a point of not ignoring him/her after I found out because I'm not an arsehole, but I'm sure glad I never asked her on a date...
Never assume anything about people online.

[KuRuPTeD]

I met my girl on the net, she sent me a foto thats was years old but i met up with her anyway coz we got along real well and to this day i still think she is the most beautiful girl in the world :blush:
Oh and the fact she is bi didn't confirm my attraction to her ;)


Cheers!
:offchops: :offchops: :offchops:

[SPOKEYDOKEY]

that's fine phunk, after last nights curry the old ones a bit worn out :lol:

[Billy Loomis]

If you don't like me then just say so jamesy. I won't be hurt......much. Neither will i stalk you........much.

[Mellow D]

Originally posted by redambition
right. so he's obviously nice... but after seeing his pic you realise he's not a nick hudson look-a-like.

get over the shallowness. its not all about the looks.

Agree 110%

[Bushy]

Just ignore him or maybe tell him you have got back with your ex.. If he catches on that you think hes ugly it will most likely crush him and give him a personality complex..

I believe it's better off meeting people in real life.. You get a much better picture of what you're getting and people aren't hiding themselves behind some handle..

[Rompy]

heh I have gotten into a fair bit of trouble with net relationships myself.

Assuming you havent already made romantic suggestions to him before seeing his picture, just act like he has misunderstood you and you were never interested romantically but would like to meet up with him as a friend.

Unless you are so shallow as to not even want to be friends with an unattractive guy, but if his appearance is the only thing you dont like then there is no reason not to keep up contact with him just make him understand that you arent interested romantically (because you havent gotten over an ex, not ready, have your eye on someone else etc etc, dont let him know its cos you dont like the way it looks unless you really want to crush him)

[tweeker77]

Originally posted by jamesy
Ok, so the other day i met this guy on the net, just by chance. Then he gave me his mobile no. and we started sms'ing each other. He seemed real cool and we got along real well.

Then he sent me a pic of himself and it wasn't what i expected. Now, i'm not interested in him anymore and he continues to sms me. My guy friends tell me to ignore the sms's and he will get the hint. I feel bad about it all now so what should i do??? Tell him i'm not interested or just do the cowardly thing and ignore the sms's??

Jamesy - just be honest with him - you would want the same in return if he was the one who wasn't interested in you and didn't know what to do ...

Fairs Fair :)

[legless]

sms him "my crotch stl sore fro operation, but doc say i b able to dish out sum hardcore anal sex by satday, meet up then?"

never hear from him again.... unless of course hes into that kinda thing....

[DjStalker]

Originally posted by Billy Loomis
If you don't like me then just say so jamesy. I won't be hurt......much. Neither will i stalk you........much.

But I might do the stalking !!!! :)

I agree with the Tweeker Jamesy - just be honest - you would want the same in return if the tables were turned and you were in his shoes ....

I know I would prefer honesty - but then again I don't do the Net meet and greet thing either ...

Stalka ;D

[Griggle]

Of course it isn't possible that he sent you a really bad pic of him or a pic that is not actually of him to see if you are a shallow pathetic individual.

Lucky for him it's now apparant to everyone here and soon him that you are. He most probably deserves better than you anyway. :|

[Rompy]

I woudlnt be honest, I personally wouldnt want someone to be honest to me in that situation it would just make me feel worse.

Chances are if hes trying to pick up on the net he already has a low self esteem

[EyesClosed]

Originally posted by Rompy
Chances are if hes trying to pick up on the net he already has a low self esteem

What a crock! most guys i know use any opportunity they can get to try and pick up.

[EyesClosed]

I met a girl over the net, were talking for about 4+ months before exchanging pics, while later met up, and she looked better in person than in the pics.

And the story has a happy ending, we ended up being a booty call relationship for about a year, meeting up every few weeks for a deep a meaningful physical relationship. and i think that the reason this happened was cos i wasnt trying for it, wasnt trying to get laid, was just myself and it ended up happening.

[sofu]

hAHoUhEAhEHuhAUhEhahUheaHOuhEhuhEHohAhEhUhAhOHeAhU hAhUhEHhUhAhHEuaEhahuHehUAHeUhEAhH ® {:-(

[weazelsbuddy]

just sms him.....

Did you hit EVERY single branch on the way down when you fell out of the ugly tree?


if that don't do it nuthin' will!

[kyle]

Originally posted by redambition
get over the shallowness. its not all about the looks.
Maybe in fairy land its not, but in the real world its all about the looks. That doesnt mean they have to be drop dead gorgeous, but you have to at least be attracted to them.

As for real life meetups, i try and avoid them; the relationships you form online are indeed special but they do not accurately reflect the relationship you will have in the real world.

[meandarkdirty]

Originally posted by redambition
right. so he's obviously nice... but after seeing his pic you realise he's not a nick hudson look-a-like.

get over the shallowness. its not all about the looks.

That's a lovely sentiment but some sort of physical attraction really is requisite. If he's friendly but not fuckable then the solution is simple - be his friend but don't fuck him. And make your intentions very clear.

[Suteki]

As for real life meetups, i try and avoid them; the relationships you form online are indeed special but they do not accurately reflect the relationship you will have in the real world.

indeed, i had one such circumstance. but kinda reversed. talked on the net for a few months, met thru chance anyway (well it was kinda gonna happen becoz of the scene, no it wasnt a dance/rave scene:P) and we ended up going out for a few months and was great in person, suddenly changed on the net and we broke up...still havent got a reason, but i got a reason for breaking up on msn "its easier to do becoz u can say anything and it doesnt mean as much." great in person, always the same, completely changed later on talking to her on the net.

your complaining about how u dont wanna go out with them becoz of their looks? what if u send a picture to them, they might not even like you? however i can sympathise with the "saw the picture and i dont want to go anywhere with them" becoz, and it has alot to do with personality, but theres always gotta be a pyschical attraction. photo's can come up quite bad, i dont look anything in real life like i do on webcam for some reason. but yeh, if your strongly certain they're not your type physically, u should be able to tell.

i like meeting up with ppl i've met thru the net when i go out, ie would wanna meet up with the ITM forum ppls (or shouldnt i

:meh: :blush: ) but if your after a relationship type deal, would avoid flirting before you've met them in person or you've both seen pics and feel u might have a chance, it could b u on the other side of the scenario where you physically not what they're after

[REAL NAOKI]

Originally posted by redambition
right. so he's obviously nice... but after seeing his pic you realise he's not a nick hudson look-a-like.

get over the shallowness. its not all about the looks.
i completely agree with redambition difenately not the looks.i also done heaps of blinde date(yeah like on the net or ad or whatever) and met lots of beautiful(good looking but not busty blonde :lol: ) chicks but lots of "good looking chicks" were very bitchy attitude and arrogant.
yeah i mean good looking is oukay,but if they are very bitchy not worth it.they will difenately kick you into the hell.
and also,you shoudlnt ignore his sms,you should answer him.just say "sorry you are not my type" or if you hope to become his "friend" just keep continue the friend ship.
i think you should keep the friendship and he not ganna bite you anyway.
but important thing is after you met him you should keep distance with him then no problem.
and also after the heaps of blinde date i found that people also needs friends but not only gf or bf.
so,dont ignore him just give him answer.8-) 8-) 8-)

[oni0n]

roofles

[jamesy]

Originally posted by kyle

Maybe in fairy land its not, but in the real world its all about the looks. That doesnt mean they have to be drop dead gorgeous, but you have to at least be attracted to them.

As for real life meetups, i try and avoid them; the relationships you form online are indeed special but they do not accurately reflect the relationship you will have in the real world.

THANKYOU, well said Kyle!
Just cos' i don't find him good looking, doesn't mean that others wont. Anyways, beauty is in the eye of the beholder & ITS NOT SHALLOW!
And who cares if you're shallow anyways, everyone's shallow about something.

[jamesy]

Originally posted by sofu
Hmm. So that explains your pm to me, jamesy. :)


The answer is no, it isn't.

After not replying to my PM, i thought i may have offended you Sofu.

[bella boo]

Originally posted by redambition
right. so he's obviously nice... but after seeing his pic you realise he's not a nick hudson look-a-like.
get over the shallowness. its not all about the looks.

Oh so true, couldn't have said better myself!

[markeee]

it's ALL about the looks...

(and i haven't even read the forum)

[big eddie]

tell him you recently became a born again christian and would love for him to let christ into his heart.

he will run a mile ;p

[Tristan]

Originally posted by jamesy
After not replying to my PM, i thought i may have offended you Sofu. I've read some pretty wack shit round here but the thought that someone could have the ability to offend sofu takes the cake with daylight second.

[Sabishii]

A close friend of mine in high school picked up online, went on a couple of dates and the guy turned out to be a complete psycho! Not only did he start calling her at all times of the day and night, but in the end he started to make threats to her family as well when he couldnt speak to her...

On the other hand, Ive met some amazing, lovely people through ITM.

[golf_punk]

:p :p ;)

[Cosmica]

Do not give out your personal details.


Use yahoo messenger or another anonymous way to talk to them and get to know them, get their pic before committing yourself to provide personal info.


Common sense really.....

[bella boo]

I haven't even seen your pic Cosmica and I'm already falling head over heels :lol:

Sorry, couldn't help myself.

[Cosmica]

there is a very small pic of me at summadayze up front in the "post a pic of yourselves",

[bella boo]

Why not pop yourself up in the gurnery...oh hang on, I'm not there either :lol:

[Cosmica]

no thanks :)

[bella boo]

Same. My ugly mug would only give you lot nightmares for the rest of your lives :lol: Couldn't do that to you all :lol:

[central_smurf]

Originally posted by kyle



As for real life meetups, i try and avoid them; the relationships you form online are indeed special but they do not accurately reflect the relationship you will have in the real world.

i totally disagree with this statement... if you are true to who you are and so is the other person the relationship can be just as accurate...

i have met a lot of good friends from the internet including my bf, and i can tell you that the relationships i have formed are very real and have been long lasting... its hard to explain

regarding my bf - we had seen each others pic before meeting up and had agreed that when we were to meet in person that we would be honest about eachothers appearances. But in the beginning i fell totally in love with his personality and nothing more.... and once this flourished his looks (which may not have been my type before hand) became more appealling to me... im a strong believer that a persons personality can make a person attractive

anyway... we have been going out for almost a year and ive never been more in love - all because i took a chance with someone

you may just be surprised jamesy, although with the past couple of threads you have started you seem extremely superficial and very concerned about appearence which is kinda sad...you should be more worried about a persons personality, and if you cant see potential bf material... dont be a bitch... stay in contact and stay friends, you never know what may happen

[BustinBells]

Originally posted by bella boo
Same. My ugly mug would only give you lot nightmares for the rest of your lives :lol: Couldn't do that to you all :lol:


but i could!!!! ;)

<=== See avatar! ;)

[bella boo]

Dammit.

:lol:

[JulesPLees]

NEVER:|

[Tristan]

My picture is now posted in the gurnery.





BTW only pm if you're a slut

[Lord Belial]

I have to agree with central_smurf. Often I meet someone who isn't overly attractive physically but as I get to know them their personality makes them more attractive. The reverse is also true. It's hard to explain but physical beauty = initial attraction, personality = longer lasting attraction. At least to me it is. :blush:

Griggle: good call as usual. :)

[kyle]

Originally posted by central_smurf
i totally disagree with this statement... if you are true to who you are and so is the other person the relationship can be just as accurate...
The problem is that being true to who you are (online) does not guarantee anything regarding your offline personality. Offline you may be shy or may be intimidated by others whilst online you find it easy to converse, coming off as funny, intelligent etc. In this situation you are being true to yourself however your online & offline personalities will vary greatly.

[candyman]

YOuR so SwEet EmMa..... luckily you two are attractive people..

And Red, totally agree.. Looks aren't everything and there is no need to be shallow, Even if you weren't interested in a relationship.. what's wrong with being friends.. ??? Friendships are stonger than relationships and they get you through the hard times and are there for the good times to share.

Peace.. PLUR 8-) 8-) :p

[Reffie]

NEVER :|

[Griggle]

It's not the fact that you are extremly shallow and superficial that has me worried. It's the fact that you suck so much at being shallow. If your gonna be proud of a character flaw at least do it well. :|

You should have at least met him a couple of times and seen if he had any good looking friends to hook into. Nothing says "I don't like you" better than "I slept with your best friend" :|

[Megs]

Haha nice one greggles

[central_smurf]

Originally posted by kyle

The problem is that being true to who you are (online) does not guarantee anything regarding your offline personality. Offline you may be shy or may be intimidated by others whilst online you find it easy to converse, coming off as funny, intelligent etc. In this situation you are being true to yourself however your online & offline personalities will vary greatly.

ok i will give you that
although in MY past experiences this hasnt been the case

and CM... ill pay u later for that sweet comment lol :lol:

[littleblonde]

I've heard you need to watch out for the itm'ers -- they're a pretty scary bunch ;)

[BlueSteel]

It all depends on what your objective is. If it's to pick up, it's a waist of time and too much bullshit. There are so many other places to pick up in. Why risk it over the net? How do you know if they don't look like the toxic avenger that just came out of a psychiatric hospital? Your better off going to the pro's, drop $100 and forget about it.

I've met a few over the net and it has been an advantage, opening new doors. It's nice to interact with people that have the same interests as you.
I personaly don't blame anyone for not giving out personal details until they feel comfortable enough to do so, maybe even AFTER meeting the person. There is always the PM service.

When organising to meet them, tell them you'll be at the corner of the bar wearing white but stay elsewhere wearing black. Look for someone looking around like he is waiting for someone.
If you like what you see, go for it. If not fuckem'. Or go get a friend of yours to ask if it is them and to tell them you just left cause you were sick.
If they start to pester you with PM's then you know they were dickheads anyway.

[LowJohnny]

Originally posted by kyle

The problem is that being true to who you are (online) does not guarantee anything regarding your offline personality. Offline you may be shy or may be intimidated by others whilst online you find it easy to converse, coming off as funny, intelligent etc. In this situation you are being true to yourself however your online & offline personalities will vary greatly.

Usually people who are intimidated by others get over it once they get to know a person. So perhaps someone's online personality is more indicative of their true self.

Note this is more applicable to IRC/instant messanger scenarios rather then forums, where people (such as myself) tend to deliberately stir people at times. ;)

I have to say though, I am just as introverted in online conversations as I am in person. I think it's to do with the pressure of having to come up with instant responses.

[Atlantis]

Originally posted by Psycho_182
the same thing happened to me twice!!!
and when you find out that there not what you expected you dont know what to do with out feeling bad!!
i just told them that i found someone, and that we can still be internet friend.

awww, im a bad person:(

You bitch that was me :lol: Jokes