View Full Version : Extreme F*cking
Tristan
05-Feb-03, 06:15pm
What are the extremes of your sex life? Whats the drunkest / hottest / ugliest / limpest / fattest / thinnest chick/bloke you've boned for the longest / shortest time etc etc
I once had a drunk girl vomit on me during the rumpy pumpy. That was untidy. But we still kept going. :lol:
Tyler Durden
05-Feb-03, 06:30pm
im not goig to even comment on this thread...
apart from me saying it's a bit too personal, and
why should everyone be telling you how long the
have been fuckin someone?
Tristan
05-Feb-03, 06:49pm
fuck me - are you all virgins or something? Surely you must have rooted someone you didn't want to stay for breakfast.
Please Tell Me.
Originally posted by Tristan
Surely you must have rooted someone you didn't want to stay for breakfast.
yeah. you're mama.
i'm actually quite interested in hearing some of these stories, i probly need help or something:lol:
i just dont happen to have any such story to share :~(
Tristan
05-Feb-03, 07:11pm
ok, I'll tell you another one to get the momentum going.
My mate shane has no standards. Literally. As normal he picked up this shocker (he knows they are skanks but just doesn't care) took her home and began to screw her. She was bouncing away on top and shane started to sober up. Once he sobered up enough to focus properly, he didn't like what he saw. At which point the girl stopped and asked why the fuck he was pulling that face. Yes he was so repulsed by what he saw that he had pulled one of those uuggghhh faces. That was the end of that nights tomfoolery. Classy boy.
Atlantis
05-Feb-03, 07:12pm
The last guy I went out with was really gross and really ugly, I now look at him and feel sick, he makes my skin crawl! Everyone always asks me WTF was I doing??? My excuse? I have no idea, but I was on good drugs for a long period at the time!
I think it is okay to chat about this as long as noones names are mentioned ... but this forum sure is getting ... urr ... "graphic"!
I don't regret shagging any ugly but very nice dudes but I do regret shagging up themselves twats!
PS Um Tristan that ain't extreme ... that belongs on Springer! :-*
prawn_star
05-Feb-03, 07:36pm
a much younger i once made love @ the zoo, in the norturnal section, and got walked in on by a family with kids in strollers.. :meh: :lol:
i have more but out of respect won't mention any.. :P
dubst3p
05-Feb-03, 08:16pm
the zoo, eh .... :lol:
Tristan
05-Feb-03, 08:45pm
So you're all angels and virgins are you? yeah like fuck.
mrfantastic
05-Feb-03, 09:28pm
I was getting a headjob once and started throwing up (I was very pissed). I managed to make them quite burps, and the chick kept looking up asking whats wrong, thinking that the convulsions where convulsions of joy!
bella boo
05-Feb-03, 09:29pm
I have many a interesting stories, however I won't share them because I think this is rather personal and I don't "advertise" my sex life.
markeee
05-Feb-03, 09:31pm
.
Tristan
05-Feb-03, 09:50pm
Originally posted by mrfantastic
I was getting a headjob once and started throwing up (I was very pissed). I managed to make them quite burps, and the chick kept looking up asking whats wrong, thinking that the convulsions where convulsions of joy! YEAH! that's the way. More please.
What the fuck is up with this not telling shit? I mean its not like everyone is going to hear the story and recognise you or shit, and if they do it must be one hell of a story so everyone will be happy so it's worth it.
snoochy-boochy
05-Feb-03, 09:55pm
Originally posted by mrfantastic
I was getting a headjob once and started throwing up (I was very pissed). I managed to make them quite burps, and the chick kept looking up asking whats wrong, thinking that the convulsions where convulsions of joy!
Yeah, gettin a polish ALWAYS makes me vomit. Not!
Tristan
06-Feb-03, 05:24pm
yeah
SpaceMonkey
06-Feb-03, 05:46pm
One of my mates hooked into a girl once and took her home, he jumped into bed and looked at her to se why she hadn't joined him yet and realised she was removing her prosthetic leg....
Mmmmmm, amputee love.
A straight, good looking girl in the disabled toilets at the local gay club (im straight btw).
Tristan
06-Feb-03, 08:36pm
better but not dirrty enough.
weazelsbuddy
06-Feb-03, 08:45pm
Originally posted by Atlantis
The last guy I went out with was really gross and really ugly, I now look at him and feel sick, he makes my skin crawl! Everyone always asks me WTF was I doing??? My excuse? I have no idea, but I was on good drugs for a long period at the time!
that's why you shouldn't screw your dealer!!!
:lol:
Originally posted by bella boo
I have many a interesting stories, however I won't share them because I think this is rather personal and I don't "advertise" my sex life.
So what is the point of your post??? I'm sure everyone that hasn't commented is thinking the same thing. Or do we want everyone to think that your some sex goddess:lol:
JulesPLees
07-Feb-03, 01:16am
Originally posted by Tristan
fuck me - are you all virgins or something? Surely you must have rooted someone you didn't want to stay for breakfast.
PLees Tell Me.
Well I did it on a ladder once.
petiepoo_80
07-Feb-03, 09:42am
It may not be extreme but I did it on the lounge my grandparents sit on every night to watch TV. Everytime I go there and see them sitting there a wave of guilt washes over me. I spose it's better than their bed, my sister did that once....
corporateboy
07-Feb-03, 09:58am
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Tristan are you trying to find more ideas to live out, or need more material to bat with ?
Too many stories of vomit in here, my friend once had a video on his computer he showed me of these two naked asian girls, one in the bath, one next to it. One learns over and barfs all over the other then smiles to the camera.
vomit porn? it was awful and disgusting, just f*cking awful
corporateboy
07-Feb-03, 09:59am
and yes I am aware of the irony of saying "too many vomit stories" and then adding mine to the list as well ...
I was sitting on the lounge with two people watching some lame porno, all pretty sketchy, and I looked over and she was giving him a hand job in front of me. i didnt need to see that.
SpaceMonkey
07-Feb-03, 10:34am
Originally posted by Naked
A straight, good looking girl in the disabled toilets at the local gay club (im straight btw).
I've got a similar one, I got a blowjob from a (straight, good looking) girl in the toilets at the Hero party in Auckland, which is the NZ equivalent of the Mardi Gras party. I always found it amusing to casually tell people "I got a bj in the bogs at Hero" just to see the look on their faces as they assume it was from another guy....
kinky69
07-Feb-03, 10:53am
hetro couple, myself and the video camera - when I stopped seeing those two people, I left on good terms, thank fuck the video has never surfaced.
There has been many cubicle encounters whilst out clubbing, a bj here and there, copping a good bang in a car parked at night clubs car park - many tales to tell, so little time.
The best of them all, was copping a hand job (discreetly) on the dance floor at Redemption (gay leather dance party) by a gay guy (I'm a chick by the way)
kinky69
07-Feb-03, 10:55am
fucking a straight guy with a strap on - yeah that's another one up there.
Lambretta
07-Feb-03, 10:56am
When I was younger (15 or so years ago) I used to go to gigs with my mates. We went to see The Wedding Present at the Town and Country Club in Kentish Town. Posh name, not so posh crowd. It was a large old theatre which they used as a concert venue and it was filled with skanky ho's and drop outs of every variety, depending on the band.
As I was young, the effects of a couple of lagers, illegally purchased were a little bit more pronounced than usual.
One night I met this girl who I thought was alright so I seperated from my mates and we went up the back of the hall for a snog sesh. Things got a bit steamy and I got my fingers wet. hhhmm, that girl needed Femme Fresh or some similar product, because I thought someone had discovered an old can of Salmon which had been left over from World War 1, but as I was intoxicated and horny as fuck I wasn't deterred, but a full on fuck was out of the question, especially as we were in a public place.
At the end of the night my mates ripped the absolute shit out of me. I may have thought I had snuck off, but they had seen me and they delighted in telling me just how repulsive this girl looked.
I refused to believe them and said "while she's no model, she was alright" which just made them laugh all the louder.
A couple of gigs later we were back at the T&C and sure enough I saw the girl again. Well, without the benefit of alcohol, I almost puked right down myself. She WAS absolutely revolting. She bore a resemblance to the basic shape of the girl I had met, but man if she'd been a dog I would hav ehad her shot. I think the semi decayed teeth was really the icing on the cake for me.
I went through about 200 litres of listerine just trying to get the bad taste out of my mouth. My mates thought this was fucking hilarious, and now I have to agree.
Mind you, I later went up in the Kudos stakes when I left a beer on the table in the pub, took a girl into the park, had sex with her on the climbing frame and then went back to finish my beer!!!!
Fuck I sound like a right bastard dont I :lol:
Instant Sam
07-Feb-03, 11:01am
More vomit..
A mate's girlfriend apparently threw up whilst in the process of giving him head..
corporateboy
07-Feb-03, 11:13am
Originally posted by Instant Sam
More vomit..
A mate's girlfriend apparently threw up whilst in the process of giving him head..
dude thats weak.
Tristan
07-Feb-03, 11:36am
Yes, yes, this is better. Keep it up.
___________________________
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MissSheen
07-Feb-03, 11:56am
i like to fuck in my trackies
JulesPLees
07-Feb-03, 12:00pm
Vomit sex isnt extreeme sex..its gross sex.
Wouldnt extreem sex be like rooting when u go parachuting?
Oh and Kinky69
:-0 :-0 :-0 :-0 :-0
SpaceMonkey
07-Feb-03, 12:08pm
I fisted my ex flatmate's girlfreind.
I once had a fcuk with a well fit chick while jumping out of an aeroplane on a motorcross bike with a wakeboard all the time doing some gnarly 540's and superman seatgrabs man!! Is that Xtreeeeeeeeeeme enuf for ya?! Radical man!!! XD XD XD PEPSI MAX YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAH!!!!! XD 8-)
kinky69
07-Feb-03, 12:18pm
Jules are you up for it? ready to try it kinky style - I've got the toys, you just bring yourself on over - and I'll get into my dominatrix get up.
JulesPLees
07-Feb-03, 12:24pm
Just as long as u remember - me (_!_) = EXIT ONLY.
But other than that.....
Tristan
07-Feb-03, 12:28pm
THIS IS GREAT!
_____________
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kinky69
07-Feb-03, 12:43pm
Jules - I respect that, so you don't mind a little bondage eh?
There's nothing better than having a guy (or girl) cuffed to your bed and having them watch you, have your way with yourself, teasing, getting rough with them and down right dirty.
That's great, I haven't had any willing participants for a while, you see a lot of the wog boys don't like to be dominated - as they're not in control.
More boys should open to experimentation - I think it's all good.
It's all about debauch.
SpaceMonkey
07-Feb-03, 12:44pm
Originally posted by kinky69
It's all about dbauch.
MadMike thinks so too.
Tristan
07-Feb-03, 12:50pm
YEAH!
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phatboy
07-Feb-03, 01:23pm
Kinky69, where do i sign-up ?
KuRuPTeD
07-Feb-03, 01:24pm
Nothing to special/extreme.....
on the lawns at summerdayze. pulled it off well, the cops had no idea.......
:offchops: ;D :tripping: :offchops: :tripping: ;D ;D ;D ;D
My mate Roddy picks up this girl in Newcastle (England) one drunken weekend. They get horny in the club so decide to leave for his hotel. They get even hornier in the cab so by the time they get to the hotel they fall in the door of his room, ripping off each other's clothes in the dark.
Anyway, this chick is into rough sex, so she throws Rod on the ground and mounts his face, hard-style, and starts grinding. Problem is, she sat on him so hard that she burst his nose with her pubic bone and Rod is gushing blood all over the place.
So, in his drunken stupor, he's trying to push her off his nose (which is agony) and tell her to stop. But she's lost in it and takes Rod's sounds of "uuurrrghh!! aaaargghh!!! mmmmmfffff!!!" as sounds of joy, so she goes all the harder.
Rod by this stage is nearly drowning in his own blood, so didn't really need to have her say "oh baby, feel how wet you've made me..."
Tristan
07-Feb-03, 02:32pm
BRILLIANT MMAC
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Where's the http://www.pattayacity.com/chat/avatar/mouth.gifLOVEhttp://www.pattayacity.com/chat/avatar/mouth.gif Isla?
A mate of mine shagged this 16 year old chick (the dirty bastards 28) in a park opposite a party while everyone was on the balcony chanting his name at Windsor in NSW. He blew his load and then rolled her naked down the hill that the park was sloped on and he then started running around in circles with his hands in the air yelling out his name. He then got lift back to his house in Castle Hill about an hour later where he drove his car pissed to Parramatta and went to a brothel and had sex with 2 hookers.
Another mate has a girlfriend who he encourages to sleep with his mates and other people when they are out so he is able to sleep with other chicks. He also has a rather large collection of dildos which he uses to sodomize the girls he picks up with.
SpaceMonkey
07-Feb-03, 02:57pm
Originally posted by Jerry
A mate of mine shagged this 16 year old chick (the dirty bastards 28) in a park opposite a party while everyone was on the balcony chanting his name at Windsor in NSW. He blew his load and then rolled her naked down the hill that the park was sloped on and he then started running around in circles with his hands in the air yelling out his name. He then got lift back to his house in Castle Hill about an hour later where he drove his car pissed to Parramatta and went to a brothel and had sex with 2 hookers.
Your friend is not a man - He is a God.
Instant Sam
07-Feb-03, 03:11pm
Originally posted by corporateboy
dude thats weak.
No - true - it was a mate. It wasn't me, promise.
I vomit on you.
twistandshout
08-Feb-03, 08:13pm
Originally posted by Atlantis
The last guy I went out with was really gross and really ugly, I now look at him and feel sick, he makes my skin crawl! Everyone always asks me WTF was I doing??? My excuse? I have no idea, but I was on good drugs for a long period at the time!
U idiot.
trancEaddict
08-Feb-03, 09:32pm
Tristan:
Ive noticed as the thread gets larger and more people respond your use of exclamation marks, larger fonts and phrases like:
"this is good, keep it up"
"yeah"
"brilliant"
etc.
is there something that your doing that your not telling us about?
Originally posted by Jerry
A mate of mine shagged this 16 year old chick (the dirty bastards 28) in a park opposite a party while everyone was on the balcony chanting his name at Windsor in NSW. He blew his load and then rolled her naked down the hill that the park was sloped on and he then started running around in circles with his hands in the air yelling out his name. He then got lift back to his house in Castle Hill about an hour later where he drove his car pissed to Parramatta and went to a brothel and had sex with 2 hookers.
Yes.. "mate" indeed...
*cough* child rapist *cough*
technobimbo
08-Feb-03, 11:36pm
Originally posted by Jerry
A mate of mine shagged this 16 year old chick (the dirty bastards 28) in a park opposite a party while everyone was on the balcony chanting his name at Windsor in NSW. He blew his load and then rolled her naked down the hill that the park was sloped on and he then started running around in circles with his hands in the air yelling out his name. He then got lift back to his house in Castle Hill about an hour later where he drove his car pissed to Parramatta and went to a brothel and had sex with 2 hookers.
that is fucking disgusting!!! :-* :-*
Tristan
09-Feb-03, 09:07am
Originally posted by trancEaddict
Tristan:
Ive noticed as the thread gets larger and more people respond your use of exclamation marks, larger fonts and phrases like:
"this is good, keep it up"
"yeah"
"brilliant"
etc.
is there something that your doing that your not telling us about?
WTF?!?!?!?!
*fap fap fap*
______________
Where's the http://www.pattayacity.com/chat/avatar/mouth.gifLOVEhttp://www.pattayacity.com/chat/avatar/mouth.gif Isla?
Originally posted by kinky69
It's all about debauch.
you called? ;)
Tyler Durden
09-Feb-03, 06:21pm
Originally posted by markeee
.
i agree :blush:
Tristan
09-Feb-03, 07:28pm
If you are not going to contribute to my thread by telling of your sexual exploits then please get the fuck out. Unless of course you're bumping it.
______________
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Kevmeister
10-Feb-03, 07:13am
this has to be the saddest thread of them all!
Wannabe
10-Feb-03, 08:48am
Tristan ... the key to picking up every night is to :
Go ugly early .... and avoid the rush later ...
dragon_chaser
10-Feb-03, 10:59am
that's beautiful mmac
spacemonkey thinks the child rapist is a god... says a lot about him really!!!! dirty fukker
SpaceMonkey
10-Feb-03, 11:41am
Originally posted by dragon_chaser
that's beautiful mmac
spacemonkey thinks the child rapist is a god... says a lot about him really!!!! dirty fukker
1: 16 is legal, and Jerry didn't mention rape...
2: you take shit too seriously.
JulesPLees
10-Feb-03, 11:43am
Is 16 legal...isnt it only legal if the other person is aged between 16/18 as well?
Oh I found it funny too spacemonkey..just wanted to clear this up for a 'friend' of mine....yes thats it, friend.
SpaceMonkey
10-Feb-03, 11:46am
Originally posted by JulesPLees
Is 16 legal...isnt it only legal if the other person is aged between 16/18 as well?
Really? I actually had no idea. Fuck, I could get myself in trouble one day.... :-0
He didn't rape her ! She consented and led him outside for sex, she was riding him for most of it and was revelling in the people watching her from the balcony giving naughty smiles to the chanting people including her best friend who was vying for him that night also. She had fucked two different guys at the party the weekend before so she was no little inocent 16 year old, we are not talking about prissy little north shore girls we are talking tralor trash chicks from Windsor who sleep with everyone. The sort of chick who if you say show us your tits she says show us your cock. It was a westie/bikie engagement party where shit like this is not uncommon...
I don't know why I'm writing this - bored I guess. But this happened to a friend of mine. And it REALLY was a friend, not a flimsy attempt for me to pass this off as someone else's work!!! (I would never be this patient for starters!)
Anyway, my friend was seeing this guy who couldn't ever make himself cum, for whatever reason. This was a bit weird, but she's a nice girl, so she thought she'd take the kind and patient approach, and lead him up to it over time, being encouraging and understanding.
So one day, she thought she'd give him a really long, slow headjob, stopping occaasionally to murmur encouragement. He was clearly getting excited, and she thought she might have hit the nail on the "head", so to speak.
And then he pissed in her mouth.
heheh!
Originally posted by Miaow
So one day, she thought she'd give him a really long, slow headjob, stopping occaasionally to murmur encouragement. He was clearly getting excited, and she thought she might have hit the nail on the "head", so to speak.
And then he pissed in her mouth.
heheh!
that is the funniest thing I have ever read.
random josh
10-Feb-03, 12:49pm
Originally posted by Jerry
He didn't rape her ! She consented and led him outside for sex...
all judgements about whether she was too young or not aside because i don't think anyone cares...
but there's a reason why underage sex partners are referred to as "under the age of consent" - meaning that whatever consent they give you is void because in the eyes of the law they're unable (too young) to give you an informed / educated consent.
anyways back to "extreme fucking"
Mellow D
10-Feb-03, 12:54pm
Originally posted by Jerry
A mate of mine shagged this 16 year old chick (the dirty bastards 28) in a park opposite a party while everyone was on the balcony chanting his name at Windsor in NSW. He blew his load and then rolled her naked down the hill that the park was sloped on and he then started running around in circles with his hands in the air yelling out his name. He then got lift back to his house in Castle Hill about an hour later where he drove his car pissed to Parramatta and went to a brothel and had sex with 2 hookers.
Fuck man, that is so wrong
i hate to tell you guys (although having sex with a person so much younger than you is wrong) but kids these days are fucking at 14....and no Im not telling everyone to go moleste a 14 yr old.
Tristan
10-Feb-03, 01:17pm
Tell it to the Judge jerry.
kinky69
10-Feb-03, 03:12pm
Why is all the focus on this guy, c'mon have a look at the girl.
Girls like that deserve everything they get (stds included)..........For fucks sake it doesn't say much about a girl who acts like that or thinks it's a good thing to fuck in front of 20 or 30 people cheering and egging them on - cheap slapper with no self respect is all I can say.
Well all like a bit of sex, however dirty or debauch, but at the end day (or sex session) you still have to have respect for yourself.
so i'm assuming that the guy who also fucked in front of everyone else and then went and slept with 2 HOOKERS the same night also deserves everything he gets, stds included?? he is obviously just as bad as the girl, you can't just label the girl a dirty slut.
but the both of them don't deserve stds, no one does. They would just have to kind of...expect it i guess.
kinky69
10-Feb-03, 04:34pm
Of course two peas in a pod, I don't think too much of him or any other male who sleeps with pros., pays for sex and treats women/girls like shit.
But I just wanted to make mention of the girl, as all the attention was focussed on the guy - two to tango right?
do these threads come back to life when someone new posts on them? anyway, i got one of these, a cracker...
("friend of a friend" stuff, sorry!)
guy wakes up in a hospital over Mardi Gras weekend, wonders why. nurse tells him he was brought in that morning and has had to have surgery to repair a punctured intestine. wtf!? he thinks.
then doctor comes in, tells him he will have to wear a colostomy bag for the rest of his life. WTF!?!? he thinks now, really worried.
sooner or later, a friend of his comes in to see how he is. "how did this happen?" he asks.
"you took too much amyl last night", friend haltingly replies.
"how can too much amyl puncture my intestine?", he asks.
"well, when we found you in the back room, you'd had so much amyl that you were getting fisted by four guys up to their elbows. you were having a great time, but were bleeding everywhere!"
:-* :-* :-*
Ghostface
25-Mar-03, 03:20pm
BEST BUMP EVA
cruisysloth
25-Mar-03, 03:32pm
Originally posted by palu
yeah. you're mama.
i f**cked my girlfriends mum. mind you she was tidy as and is married to an australian world formula one champion. pretty easy to narrow down ;) she's an ex miss-australia finalist as well. yummy mummy :D
Griggle
25-Mar-03, 03:41pm
Seanie I feel sickened but amused at the same time. Quality bump material. :-* :lol: :-*
Originally posted by Ghostface
BEST BUMP EVA
*blows on fingernails and polishes them on shirt*
seanie i just dont know what to say
a "friend of a friend " huh? you know no one beleives that shit, hows the bag going?
Originally posted by Megs
seanie i just dont know what to say
a "friend of a friend " huh? you know no one beleives that shit, hows the bag going?
dont know what you're talking about
*uses tissues to mop up long dribble on inside of leg*
special ed
25-Mar-03, 04:09pm
That story works on so many levels. Its funny. Its disgusting. It teaches you about the workings of a person's colon. It teaches the dangers of amyl. And most importantly it shows you it is possible to stick something the width of a watermelon up your arse.
Great bump!
bella boo
25-Mar-03, 04:23pm
Seanie, that is disgusting :-* And yet funny at the same time :lol:
Originally posted by cruisysloth
i f**cked my girlfriends mum. mind you she was tidy as and is married to an australian world formula one champion. pretty easy to narrow down ;) she's an ex miss-australia finalist as well. yummy mummy :DWow, cool!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Originally posted by Miaow
I don't know why I'm writing this - bored I guess. But this happened to a friend of mine. And it REALLY was a friend, not a flimsy attempt for me to pass this off as someone else's work!!! (I would never be this patient for starters!)
Anyway, my friend was seeing this guy who couldn't ever make himself cum, for whatever reason. This was a bit weird, but she's a nice girl, so she thought she'd take the kind and patient approach, and lead him up to it over time, being encouraging and understanding.
So one day, she thought she'd give him a really long, slow headjob, stopping occaasionally to murmur encouragement. He was clearly getting excited, and she thought she might have hit the nail on the "head", so to speak.
And then he pissed in her mouth.
heheh!
That has to be one of the funniest things I've ever read!!!
I laughed so loud that I think everyone on my floor heard me!
LOL :lol: What a classic... Pure Gold!
limbo_bimbo
25-Mar-03, 08:06pm
my ex-fiancee refused to have sex with his shirt off!!!
maxhardcore
25-Mar-03, 09:50pm
i know someone who did a Norwegian girl in the bum on valentines day.... and she would say things like "harder" and "oh, so tight" in her Norwegian accent.
BUDDHA86
25-Mar-03, 10:14pm
maxhard..
although it isnt the most extreme post..
it does wonders for the imagination!:lol:
Originally posted by limbo_bimbo
my ex-fiancee refused to have sex with his shirt off!!!
hahahaha
VaLaNti
25-Mar-03, 10:33pm
ah come on guys all this vomit and blood sex is just pathetic... look i dont really need to be saying this one but i might as well... any1 been shitted on while getting laid? its fkn DISCUSTING... man i was drunk to the max and i was in a threesome with a mate of mine and a chick we picked up at Rise... he decided to fuck her ass then i took over and gave her a good bang (other entrance). as sh was riding me i felt something warm on my legs and when i was done my legs were all brown and the bed sheets too. and the odour... FUCK! Worse than an old can of sardines....
VaLaNti ah come on guys all this vomit and blood sex is just pathetic... look i dont really need to be saying this one but i might as well... any1 been shitted on while getting laid? its fkn DISCUSTING... man i was drunk to the max and i was in a threesome with a mate of mine and a chick we picked up at Rise... he decided to fuck her ass then i took over and gave her a good bang (other entrance). as sh was riding me i felt something warm on my legs and when i was done my legs were all brown and the bed sheets too. and the odour... FUCK! Worse than an old can of sardines....
Now that sounds like a sticky situation.. :-*
What did you do after the incident? Run?
Originally posted by Bushy
Now that sounds like a sticky situation.. :-*
What did you do after the incident? Run?
by the sounds of it she allready did!
Matt D
Originally posted by VaLaNti
ah come on guys all this vomit and blood sex is just pathetic... look i dont really need to be saying this one but i might as well... any1 been shitted on while getting laid? its fkn DISCUSTING... man i was drunk to the max and i was in a threesome with a mate of mine and a chick we picked up at Rise... he decided to fuck her ass then i took over and gave her a good bang (other entrance). as sh was riding me i felt something warm on my legs and when i was done my legs were all brown and the bed sheets too. and the odour... FUCK! Worse than an old can of sardines....
Good God Man!!!I actually feel dirty just READING that...:-* :-* :-*
<worm rushes off to scrub himself with a brillo pad>
Ewwwwwwwww!
Originally posted by MattD
by the sounds of it she allready did!
Matt D
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Originally posted by limbo_bimbo
my ex-fiancee refused to have sex with his shirt off!!! Maybe there was something under his shirt that he didn't want you to look at. Have you seen "Total Recall" before?
FunkStu
26-Mar-03, 09:33am
Double anal anyone?
Juggalo Muli
26-Mar-03, 11:31am
Originally posted by limbo_bimbo
my ex-fiancee refused to have sex with his shirt off!!!
i thought u were only 18/19 and u have already been engaged and split up, geez thats quick.
bella boo
26-Mar-03, 11:41am
Originally posted by Juggalo Muli
i thought u were only 18/19 and u have already been engaged and split up, geez thats quick.
OI! You might want to be careful what you say mate. I'll get narky in her (and my) defence.
scatted cookie
26-Mar-03, 01:23pm
Tristian..
U r in serious need of a FUCK
:p
random josh
26-Mar-03, 01:33pm
that sounds like an offer scatted cookie ;)
*happy that this wonderful thread has returned to the prominence it truly deserves*
scatted cookie
26-Mar-03, 02:23pm
Originally posted by random josh
that sounds like an offer scatted cookie ;)
u figured me out...
:blush: :-D ;)
ChemicalKitten
26-Mar-03, 02:40pm
been involved in a 3some where we were all having a merry old time.... and then he goes and gives his girlf anal - when he is done wid that - he pulls out and she licks it clean...
i wasn't planning on doing ANYTHING after seeing dat...
so i was outta there!
was getting a head job at a party once when i was about 15/16 and the girl really had no idea wat she was doing at all but she got an A for effort so i didn't have the heart to tell her to stop. (even though after about 40 mins it starts to hurt). so she was getting so into it she didnt notice that i'd picked up a magazine that was next to the couch we were on and started reading it. She only realised when i accidentaly let it drop on her head.
Lucky she didnt bite it off.
Funksta
26-Mar-03, 02:52pm
Originally posted by ChemicalKitten
been involved in a 3some where we were all having a merry old time.... and then he goes and gives his girlf anal - when he is done wid that - he pulls out and she licks it clean...
i wasn't planning on doing ANYTHING after seeing dat...
so i was outta there!
That's just nasty!! EEW!! :meh:
ChemicalKitten
26-Mar-03, 02:55pm
i kno!!! freaky hey! :-*
scatted cookie
26-Mar-03, 03:11pm
ummm chocolate coated treat
:tripping:
ChemicalKitten
26-Mar-03, 03:14pm
Originally posted by scatted cookie
ummm chocolate coated treat
:tripping:
ur a dirty dirty child!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
reverber8
26-Mar-03, 03:22pm
a friend of mine (how come all stories start like that) went home with a german tourist -and whilst in the middle of sex she asks if he eva tried anal beads -he replies 'no' -she says' do you want to' - he says 'yes' - 'write' she says (whilst lubing the beads and inserting them ) 'when you are about to come tell me and i will pull them out it will be the most intense orgasm eva'- so they go back to it he tells her when he is about to come and she pulls out the beads and it is the most intense orgasm eva -but the action of all those beads loosens all his bowel muscles and he shits himself (this is where the story should end but doesnt) he gets really embaressed and goes to have a shower he comes back out to ask for a towel and she is in bed still ,rubbing shit all over herself
i know you love it
scatted cookie
26-Mar-03, 03:24pm
hehehe..like a tasty cream egg! once u eat threw the chocolate u geta nice creamy surprise...
ummm..my tummy is rumbling! how bout yours:?
:blush: :p :) :-O
VaLaNti
26-Mar-03, 03:29pm
Originally posted by Bushy
Now that sounds like a sticky situation.. :-*
What did you do after the incident? Run?
yeah ran to the bloody shower and just fucked off... i have hesitated to have one night stands from that point... id prefer a blow job instead of having that happen again OR with her laying on her back and me pounding from the top no need to worry haha...
bLaCk RoSe
26-Mar-03, 03:30pm
This chicky I knew was getting it up the ass, and just as he pulled his dick out, she shat all over him, apprently she couldn't controll her ass muscles or something. ;D
Funksta
26-Mar-03, 03:33pm
This thread is starting to turn me off anal sex :~( :lol:
orpheus
26-Mar-03, 03:37pm
Originally posted by reverber8
a friend of mine (how come all stories start like that) went home with a german tourist -and whilst in the middle of sex she asks if he eva tried anal beads -he replies 'no' -she says' do you want to' - he says 'yes' - 'write' she says (whilst lubing the beads and inserting them ) 'when you are about to come tell me and i will pull them out it will be the most intense orgasm eva'- so they go back to it he tells her when he is about to come and she pulls out the beads and it is the most intense orgasm eva -but the action of all those beads loosens all his bowel muscles and he shits himself (this is where the story should end but doesnt) he gets really embaressed and goes to have a shower he comes back out to ask for a towel and she is in bed still ,rubbing shit all over herself
i know you love it Now that's pretty fucked up! Although the amyl story is still the best in my perverted mind.
bella boo
26-Mar-03, 04:25pm
As much as I am going to regret saying this (I am such a fucken idiot sometimes...ok ok all the time)...I will say it anyway.
I can't believe how many people can't control their muscles when umm...recieving it in the "other" hole. That has never happened to me and I've never been tempted to umm...let it all out.
Fuck some people never cease to amaze me.
You will find me crawled into a ball in a dark corner.
reverber8
26-Mar-03, 04:30pm
i know a guy who was dating a girl in a wheelchair and they where coming home one night and as they got dropped off by the cab she suggested they go to the park across the road from her house - she told him he wanted to have sex he had to lift her up on the playground equipment -any way so she is up there face down over the climbing set -and she passes out cause all the blood rushing to her head, so he puts her back in the wheelchair wheels her to the house rings the bell and leaves her on the front drive.
*mental note*
before attempting anal sex purchase plastic sheets
and 5 ltr bottles of domestos :)
Matt D
bella boo
26-Mar-03, 04:34pm
Originally posted by reverber8
i know a guy who was dating a girl in a wheelchair and they where coming home one night and as they got dropped off by the cab she suggested they go to the park across the road from her house - she told him he wanted to have sex he had to lift her up on the playground equipment -any way so she is up there face down over the climbing set -and she passes out cause all the blood rushing to her head, so he puts her back in the wheelchair wheels her to the house rings the bell and leaves her on the front drive.
That is so cruel.
Someone i know gave a BJ to a well known person on these forums...in kings cross car park whilst others where walking past....not that extreme but was quite funny....as he smoked a j whilst i did it!
um had many a 3some....just it annoys me when you boys to the "high fivers" whalst still going!
Ooops dobbed my sself in!!!
Funksta
26-Mar-03, 05:02pm
Originally posted by Criny
Ooops dobbed my sself in!!!
:lol: :lol: Ever heard of the edit button??
:lol:
he smoked a joint while i did it.
brilliant :lol:
Phibbler
26-Mar-03, 08:29pm
pure unadulterated class.. thumbs up for effort and delivery.
Tristan
26-Mar-03, 08:30pm
Please only post true incidents guys. I can't jerk off over lies you know.:meh:
bella boo
26-Mar-03, 09:23pm
Originally posted by Tristan
Please only post true incidents guys. I can't jerk off over lies you know.:meh:
That is rather disturbing Tristan.
a work coleague of a friend of my girlfriend was out at some dodgy dodgy pub one night, when he decided that he was in dire need of a root so went about picking up the first skank he could find. found himself a minger and took her outside to do the deed. started going down on her and feels this 'thing' drop out into his mouth.....he's thinking "what a fucking dirty skank, shes on her rags and not told me.....fuck" so he spits out this thing...only to discover.....a ringworm
he gets up and says something along the lines of "what the fuck you fucking dirty skank, what the fuck" before promptly leaving.
bella boo
26-Mar-03, 09:50pm
Originally posted by willis
a work coleague of a friend of my girlfriend was out at some dodgy dodgy pub one night, when he decided that he was in dire need of a root so went about picking up the first skank he could find. found himself a minger and took her outside to do the deed. started going down on her and feels this 'thing' drop out into his mouth.....he's thinking "what a fucking dirty skank, shes on her rags and not told me.....fuck" so he spits out this thing...only to discover.....a ringworm
Now that's something for you to toss over Tristan. Just what you like.
Solstice
26-Mar-03, 09:57pm
so, so many messed up people....
JessMess
26-Mar-03, 10:48pm
Originally posted by Solstice
so, so many messed up people....
Gee, by the time I was 19 I was a sexual deviant and hell messed up, what's wrong with young men these days????;D :-0 ;D
Originally posted by willis
a work coleague of a friend of my girlfriend was out at some dodgy dodgy pub one night, when he decided that he was in dire need of a root so went about picking up the first skank he could find. found himself a minger and took her outside to do the deed. started going down on her and feels this 'thing' drop out into his mouth.....he's thinking "what a fucking dirty skank, shes on her rags and not told me.....fuck" so he spits out this thing...only to discover.....a ringworm
he gets up and says something along the lines of "what the fuck you fucking dirty skank, what the fuck" before promptly leaving. It's almost as if you were there, first hand.
bassgenerator
27-Mar-03, 02:43am
one time i was getting a BJ on the beach, and just above where me and the girl were was an announcers tower(due to the beach carnival that was on that weekend) well as she was doin the deed i could hear a couple of my mates walking down the beach, i diddnt take any notice. a couple of minutes later i heard some noises coming from the announcers tower, so i looked up, and there was my mates about to hang a piss(so drunk they diddnt even realise i was there) so i paniced, got up and dived out of the way, but the girl i was with had no idea what was happening so just stayed there and ended up getting pissed on by my friends!!
Haha, theres some seriously fucked up stories going on in here.
:lol:
Originally posted by Tristan
What the fuck is up with this not telling shit? I mean its not like everyone is going to hear the story and recognise you or shit, and if they do it must be one hell of a story so everyone will be happy so it's worth it.
its because you are a no-life having tosser, tristan :)
Juggalo Muli
27-Mar-03, 08:14pm
:lol: this thread cracks me up, i just cant get enough of it :P
come on u little freaks, we know u have some more sick stories out there
Tristan
28-Mar-03, 08:46am
Originally posted by bella boo
Now that's something for you to toss over Tristan. Just what you like. I forcefully deny that allegation.
meldavid
28-Mar-03, 09:33am
Originally posted by Suteki
i'm actually quite interested in hearing some of these stories, i probly need help or something:lol:
i just dont happen to have any such story to share :~(
I feel your pain.
But remember that a Jedi has no time for sex. He's much too busy fiddling with his lightsabre.
:lol:
dis-connect-ed
28-Mar-03, 10:07am
Originally posted by willis
a work coleague of a friend of my girlfriend was out at some dodgy dodgy pub one night, when he decided that he was in dire need of a root so went about picking up the first skank he could find. found himself a minger and took her outside to do the deed. started going down on her and feels this 'thing' drop out into his mouth.....he's thinking "what a fucking dirty skank, shes on her rags and not told me.....fuck" so he spits out this thing...only to discover.....a ringworm
he gets up and says something along the lines of "what the fuck you fucking dirty skank, what the fuck" before promptly leaving.
that is soooo disgustingly feral.
just reading it makes my mouth feel dirty.....i'm going to go get some listerine
digitalboy2020
28-Mar-03, 11:36am
Originally posted by willis
a work coleague of a friend of my girlfriend was out at some dodgy dodgy pub one night, when he decided that he was in dire need of a root so went about picking up the first skank he could find. found himself a minger and took her outside to do the deed. started going down on her and feels this 'thing' drop out into his mouth.....he's thinking "what a fucking dirty skank, shes on her rags and not told me.....fuck" so he spits out this thing...only to discover.....a ringworm
he gets up and says something along the lines of "what the fuck you fucking dirty skank, what the fuck" before promptly leaving.
good story, except for the fact that a 'ringworm' isn't actually a worm it's a fungal infection.
that story is fucking gross it has made my skin crawl
yuk
Originally posted by digitalboy2020
good story, except for the fact that a 'ringworm' isn't actually a worm it's a fungal infection.
nicely picked up.
also, i thought worms came out your *ass* not other bits..
so maybe this chick was keeping baby snakes in her bits?
or maybe she was so dirty she garden worms in there...
*shrug*
Matt D
:-* What a flithly skank, aww :-*
Originally posted by digitalboy2020
good story, except for the fact that a 'ringworm' isn't actually a worm it's a fungal infection.That's correct, but I think he meant roundworm. That's an actual worm. It's a type of nematode, by the way. :)
i stand corrected......either way the story is gross
BlueSteel
30-Mar-03, 06:26pm
A mate of mine (it IS funny how they all start like this) told me about a mate of his who had anal sex with his girlfriend for the first time one night.
Said to him that the next morning when he was washing his cock in the shower, he pulled a corn kernal out from under his foreskin.
When i heard that, i dry reached.
limbo_bimbo
30-Mar-03, 06:32pm
Originally posted by BlueSteel
A mate of mine (it IS funny how they all start like this) told me about a mate of his who had anal sex with his girlfriend for the first time one night.
Said to him that the next morning when he was washing his cock in the shower, he pulled a corn kernal out from under his foreskin.
When i heard that, i dry reached.
when i read that i just dry reached
BlueSteel
30-Mar-03, 06:45pm
Originally posted by limbo_bimbo
when i read that i just dry reached
:lol: :lol:
I mean, who the fuck would wait till the NEXT MORNING to wash after anal sex?
I'm in the shower with lightning speed making sure i don't look down.
oh bluesteel mate geez.....thats just out there....:-* :-* :-*
Shadrach
30-Mar-03, 07:23pm
Originally posted by Instant Sam
More vomit..
A mate's girlfriend apparently threw up whilst in the process of giving him head..
yes but did he ask her to keep going? now that would be class ;)
MissTrixi
30-Mar-03, 09:10pm
:-* :lol: :-*
This happened to a friend of mine (and I mean it... it wasn't me!).
A couple of years ago while out on the Gold Coast, a friend of mine got picked up by one of the known Rugby League players. Anyways, she goes home with him & they go for it. He's just about to come & he pulls out, turns her over & shoots all over her back. Now being a Rugby League player he's a fairly big dude, so he comes for like ages. Then, to make sure she doesn't turn around, pins her by the neck, and LICKS every last drop of it from her back. When he lets go of her & she turns around with a rather shocked look on her face he says, "Too precious to waste baby!" :lol:
Me & the other girl's we'd been out with that night got a blow by blow account of that one while at breakfast the next day... I laughed so hard I choaked so I sipped my orange juice, laughed again & it came back through my nose ~ producing even more weird looks from the people around us~!
MC Sqaured
30-Mar-03, 09:29pm
Originally posted by sixom
he is obviously just as bad as the girl, you can't just label the girl a dirty slut.
Girl = Hoe bag
Guy= Legend
Originally posted by BlueSteel
A mate of mine (it IS funny how they all start like this) told me about a mate of his who had anal sex with his girlfriend for the first time one night.
Said to him that the next morning when he was washing his cock in the shower, he pulled a corn kernal out from under his foreskin.
When i heard that, i dry reached.
OMFG thats CLASS!!!! Can I have permission to use that story?
kthxbi ^_^ kekekeke
bigbubba
31-Mar-03, 12:39pm
Originally posted by kinky69
hetro couple, myself and the video camera - when I stopped seeing those two people, I left on good terms, thank fuck the video has never surfaced.
There has been many cubicle encounters whilst out clubbing, a bj here and there, copping a good bang in a car parked at night clubs car park - many tales to tell, so little time.
The best of them all, was copping a hand job (discreetly) on the dance floor at Redemption (gay leather dance party) by a gay guy (I'm a chick by the way) - - - Yeah right! Chick with a dick!:?
Felicity
31-Mar-03, 12:44pm
Originally posted by MissTrixi
:-* :lol: :-*
This happened to a friend of mine (and I mean it... it wasn't me!).
A couple of years ago while out on the Gold Coast, a friend of mine got picked up by one of the known Rugby League players. Anyways, she goes home with him & they go for it. He's just about to come & he pulls out, turns her over & shoots all over her back. Now being a Rugby League player he's a fairly big dude, so he comes for like ages. Then, to make sure she doesn't turn around, pins her by the neck, and LICKS every last drop of it from her back. When he lets go of her & she turns around with a rather shocked look on her face he says, "Too precious to waste baby!" :lol:
Me & the other girl's we'd been out with that night got a blow by blow account of that one while at breakfast the next day... I laughed so hard I choaked so I sipped my orange juice, laughed again & it came back through my nose ~ producing even more weird looks from the people around us~! I don't know whether to laugh or vomit. :|
tweeker77
31-Mar-03, 03:31pm
Originally posted by Felicity
I don't know whether to laugh or vomit. :|
agreed - did he think he was a fire man - shooting his hose everywhere MissTrixi ?? can u divulge a name for us to slander around the ITM forums ??
:lol: :lol: :lol:
what the hell does sexual deviant mean? my gf said it to me in the morning a week or two ago but wouldnt explaint what it meant?
on the same occasion i remember lookin at my mobile phone for the time it was about 10:30pm, then after a few hrs i noticed that the clock on the wall was showing 1:30 and i was feelin really buggered but it wasnt late yet, but i did notice that it was weird that outside wasnt too dark, turns out the clock was more than few hrs behind on the wall, well i slept pretty much the next day at tafe catchin up, also had a blood blister on my cock:tripping:
extreme, being tied to a chair and being sucked off for a good 40mins, just couldnt blow and was pretty painful after a while but i smear the shit hit the roof almost when i eventually blew, got her in the eye;D she was washin the shit out for ages
bigbubba
31-Mar-03, 05:09pm
Right!
reverber8
31-Mar-03, 05:52pm
wen i was younger this girl was giving me head and being young and impresionable (and a lot nicer) i pulled out b4 i came she got upset with me cause she like the taste (i should have stayed with her)
a friend of mine had been drinking all nite and decided to take a pill a couple of hours later he picks up this girl they go home cause he soo drunk and cant cum and they r so fuked up its into the anal sex they go , he was so fuked he needed to go to the bathroom and ends up pissing in her ass , he reckons she really enjoyed -something about the warmth or something
BlueSteel
31-Mar-03, 06:11pm
Originally posted by oni0n
OMFG thats CLASS!!!! Can I have permission to use that story?
kthxbi ^_^ kekekeke
Permission for Creamithy is granted. As long as credit goes to the author.
vieira4
31-Mar-03, 06:29pm
I swear to God this stuff is the funniest shit I have ever heard! I don't have any stories to touch these. What have I been doing with my life!
MissTrixi
31-Mar-03, 06:49pm
Originally posted by tweeker77
agreed - did he think he was a fire man - shooting his hose everywhere MissTrixi ?? can u divulge a name for us to slander around the ITM forums ??
:lol: :lol: :lol:
Fireman... :lol: The poor girl, she went from being so very smug when she got picked up to so very shocked the next morning. And all the other girls & I could do was laugh! :lol:
I really shouldn't devolge his name - he's a married man now - but he was from the Bronco's. he,he,he
Dunno if I believe this one or not but... I also had this guy mate (another football player) tell me this story about how he & his ex-girl were getting really steamy & how she'd agreed to let him do her poop-hole. Anyways he reached under the bed for the tube of lube, without looking, and squeezed what he thought was lube into his hand to rub on her poop. Only to have her scream after a few seconds... seems he'd grabbed the Deep Heat tube instead of the lube. :lol: :lol:
Originally posted by BlueSteel
Permission for Creamithy is granted. As long as credit goes to the author.
thanks stud :/
BlueSteel
31-Mar-03, 07:41pm
Kremy, check your PMT
Bank_Robber
31-Mar-03, 08:15pm
Originally posted by Tristan
during the rumpy pumpy
What are you a fucking nun? The "rump pumpy"... ahahahaha that's so pathetic!!
anyone, whats sexually deviant mean?
BlueLightBulb
31-Mar-03, 09:33pm
deviant
adj : markedly different from an accepted norm; "aberrent behavior"; deviant ideas" [syn: aberrant] n : a person whose behavior deviates from what is acceptable especially in sexual behavior [syn: pervert, deviate, degenerate]
http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=deviant
Originally posted by Bank_Robber
What are you a fucking nun? The "rump pumpy"... ahahahaha that's so pathetic!!
Wasn't that a Peter Andre "song" (if you can call it that). Do the Rumpy Pumpy or something like that?
I think it was funky junkie or something like that
Sid Ferret
01-Apr-03, 08:39pm
Originally posted by BlueSteel
A mate of mine (it IS funny how they all start like this) told me about a mate of his who had anal sex with his girlfriend for the first time one night.
Said to him that the next morning when he was washing his cock in the shower, he pulled a corn kernal out from under his foreskin.
When i heard that, i dry reached.
Urban Myth, i heard that one in junior school ffs
Sid Ferret
01-Apr-03, 08:46pm
Anyway.........A few years ago my girlfriend gave me a blowjob one morning, obviously forgetting that I'd given her arse a good shafting the night before. Not one to turn down a good Bj I decided to wait until after I'd cum in her mouth to ask her if she remember what we did last night. She wasnt impressed saying "you might have told me" and "i wondered why it tasted funny". needless to say that relationship didnt last very long.
mattycoss
17-Feb-07, 09:58pm
It's almost as if you were there, first hand.
ha ha ha
^ bump of the millenium
This thread is all class. :|
Chharge
18-Feb-07, 08:24am
ITM needs more of this "Dimi" ... not the softcock who has been left in his place :P
it creeps me out somewhat the results of thread bumps such as this, because it clearly proves the lifestyle forum ends up being a maturbation aid for so many.
Views against responses shows this too :meh:
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