phoneyhuh
01-Apr-04, 12:17pm
You read it right folks, I have an ITM exclusive news story that you read here first, and will probably only read here so pay attention! Australia has been cheating in their leadup to the Olympic Games.
Less than a week ago, famed metrosexual and all-round closet fag Ian Thorpe, was disqualified from his 400m race for showing the lack of balance and athletic prowess that makes all beer-swigging real Australian men proud. From those very same pools comes this story that is even bigger and is bound to destroy all the credibility of Australian swimming, possibly even sport in general.
We're using Aliens.
Aliens have been used by many countries many times in the past. Usually it's not that big a deal. They come from one country to ours as a kid and end up being a star representing our country. Sure, that's no problem at all as they're only alien to our country. It was seen in the tennis with Jelena Dockic, and has happened in many other sports too on many occasions. We proudly boast about them and do not bother to hide the fact usually. Swimming Australia though, has taken this common practise one step further. They've started recruiting aliens from another planet.
http://www.smh.com.au/ffximage/2004/03/31/swimmingrecord,0.jpg
This my friends is teenage prodigy "Libby Lenton". Or so they'd have you believe. If you were heading down the street and saw her walking past you, you wouldn't batt an eyelash. However, get her in her element, and environment close to the water-enclosed planet from which she came, and she loses the control of her disguise and her normal appearance comes out.
http://www.orkut.com/milieu/5/902/71902.jpg
Just one look and it all becomes shockingly clear. Australias entire swimming squad should be banned from the Olympics, possibly all sport in general, until a full investigation has been partaken. Until then, be prepared for much more of these horrid and shocking scenes at regular sporting events. But be carefull as one day their native alien instincts will return and humanity will be forever doomed.
Less than a week ago, famed metrosexual and all-round closet fag Ian Thorpe, was disqualified from his 400m race for showing the lack of balance and athletic prowess that makes all beer-swigging real Australian men proud. From those very same pools comes this story that is even bigger and is bound to destroy all the credibility of Australian swimming, possibly even sport in general.
We're using Aliens.
Aliens have been used by many countries many times in the past. Usually it's not that big a deal. They come from one country to ours as a kid and end up being a star representing our country. Sure, that's no problem at all as they're only alien to our country. It was seen in the tennis with Jelena Dockic, and has happened in many other sports too on many occasions. We proudly boast about them and do not bother to hide the fact usually. Swimming Australia though, has taken this common practise one step further. They've started recruiting aliens from another planet.
http://www.smh.com.au/ffximage/2004/03/31/swimmingrecord,0.jpg
This my friends is teenage prodigy "Libby Lenton". Or so they'd have you believe. If you were heading down the street and saw her walking past you, you wouldn't batt an eyelash. However, get her in her element, and environment close to the water-enclosed planet from which she came, and she loses the control of her disguise and her normal appearance comes out.
http://www.orkut.com/milieu/5/902/71902.jpg
Just one look and it all becomes shockingly clear. Australias entire swimming squad should be banned from the Olympics, possibly all sport in general, until a full investigation has been partaken. Until then, be prepared for much more of these horrid and shocking scenes at regular sporting events. But be carefull as one day their native alien instincts will return and humanity will be forever doomed.