brililant

this was from my dad


A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When I
> > quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time....
> >
> >
> > I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I was
> > standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a coffin, 3
> > hours later and they're still walking about with it. I thought to myself,
> > they've lost the plot!!
> >
> >
> > I was at a cashpoint yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could
> > check her balance, so I pushed her over.
> >
> > A new Middle East crisis erupted last night as Dubai Television was
> > refused
> > permission to broadcast 'The Flintstones'. A spokesman for the channel
> > said. “A claim was made that people in Dubai would not understand the
> > humour, but we know for a fact that people in Abu Dhabi Do.”
> >
> >
> > My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our
> > local pet shop and they were £70!!! B******s to this, I thought, I can get
> > one cheaper off the web.
> >
> > Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.
> >
> > Went around to a friends house today. His wife was sat there with their
> > newborn baby. She asked if I'd like to wind it. I thought that was a bit
> > harsh so I gave it a dead leg instead.
> >
> > I start a new job in Seoul next week. I thought it was a good Korea move.
> >
> >
> > I was driving this morning when I saw an RAC van parked up. The driver was
> > sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable. I thought to myself
> > ‘that guy’s heading for a breakdown’.
> >
> >
> > On holiday recently in Spain I saw a sign that said ‘English speaking
> > Doctor’ - I thought, 'What a good idea, why don’t we have them in our
> > country?'
> >
> >
> > The lead actor in the local pantomime, Aladdin, was sexually abused from
> > behind on stage last night. To be fair the audience did try to warn him
> >
Dave Juric Live Sets and Promo Mixes

Gigs

Dec 20th - Mahala & Stable - Alexkid - Railway
Dec 27th - Darkbeat & Stable - DJ T - Railway
Dec 28th - DARKBEAT - STANTON WARRIORS & A SKILLZ - Railway
Dec 31st - Mahala - PEPPERPOT - NYE - Railway
Jan 1st - CARL COX - SHED 9