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Retarded Facebook status updates that pop up in your feed #2

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Derelict +

Derpcore gets the derpy dollars

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Quote:

Originally Posted by nrjize View Post

I think you'll find signs are not all in English. i.e. in areas with a high density of non english speakers the Australian government uses bilingual signs to ensure EVERYONE can find their way around.

This is from Fortitude Valley in Brisbane:

Uhh, pretty sure that is in English? Last time I checked the only language I can read and write is English, and I can certainly read that sign.

Maybe I should have been a bit more specific with which part of his statement I agreed with

Quote:

Originally Posted by RunningWithScissors View Post

PM derelict for manual labour shit

Quote:

Originally Posted by jarrardscott View Post

I think you obviously dont understand what i'm trying to say.

Villephant +

Can't see

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this thread needs less retarded itm posts and more retarded facebook statuses please!
Villephant - 2014-02 It's still 2, it's still 2!
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Madam Lasher +

lol

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Quote:

I'm so sad to hear of the death of the nurse, Jacintha, who was caught in the 2day FM royal phone prank. Being a victim of suicide myself, I know how easy it is for someone to be here one day and gone the next. People need to think of the consequences of their actions before doing anything.

Ummm, I have no words
THEHEATH +

ACCESS DENIED.

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Coezi View Post

I'm sick of the blatant persecution of racists and bigots on this site. It's not illegal to be a racist or a bigot. You have every right to hate a race just as much as you have to hate cats.

No you don't and yes it is.
manvan +

yerfuknWOT?

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'Officially have completed my deploma of buisness management!! Sooo happy! It's been a long year, but a very rewarding one! '

U kan cum run my buisness any time, luv.
YTM Mix

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Originally Posted by Dero13 View Post

I will continue supporting animal cruelty.

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¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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Derploma.
Lambretta +

Now Aussie....STILL dodgy

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Quote:

Im 19 years old and feel the need to express my opinions.
When seeing the ads on t.v about the news story coming up with refugees and illegal immigrants getting housed in australia with families etc, i don't need to see the story to know what its about. in fact i am ashamed to see australia for what it is today, WE as a country need to realise that before we put hard earned tax payers money into housing and looking after refugees and those less fortunate from other countries.. WE need to think about our OWN first. Take a trip down to melbourne or sydney or brisbane just to name a few, look at all the homeless on the streets, in freezing winters and rough conditions, why cant we house those people first? why cant we put them in a detention centre with tv's and a nice comfy bed, food and a nice warm shelter. WHY do we just look past this and leave them on the street and give people from other countries an opportunity and somewhere to stay before we do with our OWN? WE as a country need some form of real leadership, to take priority with our own born and bread before we as country will lose what we once called "home".

What I took from the above is that the person wishes to round up all the wino's, deros and smelly people who sleep in flower beds and train stations making Australia ugly and dump them in Nauru where they won't have to put up with cold weather.

Hhmmm. I seem to remember another government that wanted to round up gypsy's and the homeless and transport them off to camps where the public didn't get to see them.

Still, imprisoning the homeless and turning immigrants into the homeless instead is a novel policy idea. The only flaw with the logic is that once the immigrants become homeless you then have to imprison them as well.

tldr; So the original poster should have saved his fingers and just typed "fucking lock up the homeless ****s"
Never mind the bollocks
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silverspoon +

new and improved!

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‎"So she said, 'I'm angry with him because he won't fly me back to Melbourne to get my hair blow dried! I only trust my stylist.' They were in Sorrento." - One of the mums from mother's group discussing her friend's (who flies a helicopter) partner and her 39yo antics... and people slag off gen Y...
red is the new blu
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Quote:

Originally Posted by manvan View Post

'Officially have completed my deploma of buisness management!! Sooo happy! It's been a long year, but a very rewarding one! '

LOL, uh oh....
Lambretta +

Now Aussie....STILL dodgy

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Quote:

Originally Posted by silverspoon View Post

‎"So she said, 'I'm angry with him because he won't fly me back to Melbourne to get my hair blow dried! I only trust my stylist.' They were in Sorrento." - One of the mums from mother's group discussing her friend's (who flies a helicopter) partner and her 39yo antics... and people slag off gen Y...

He should have used the helicopter blades to give her a haircut (somewhere through the middle of the neck would do it)
Never mind the bollocks
Here's Lambretta
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Person A: 5 cans done lot more to come yewwww

Person B: Hahahahahaha funny ****s is it payday from the link lol mine was yesterday

Person A: hahaha my payday was tuesday been drinking since

Person B: Yewww

Person A: lol fatty u know me I am Alwauys on the piss yewwww


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


"Payday from the link" is a saying in the bogan community I'm taking it. Needless to say this person was quickly deleted after reading this shit. Do not need this rubbish on facebook

Quote:

I don't go to be in the VIP area.. I don't need big breaks, a big song with a buildup and lights and smoke.. all you need is a kickdrum and a good bassline. You don't need any of that other shit. Na, I'm not going for none of those reasons.. I'm just going for the music.

m_xt +

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Way too many ppl posting screen shots from their phone with the weather app open. I know, it's hot.
Check it ****s.
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silverspoon +

new and improved!

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way too much grumpy cat shit for my liking.

red is the new blu
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Saw someone post 'love singing in the shower'. Pointless posting is the DEVIL..
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https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?f...6765386&type=1
Check it ****s.
Soundcloud

LAZE
Dr Spooner +

psychedelic prophecy

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Is tomorrow bringing change and happiness? Or am I in for more head fuck? Not him but the ****s that think I'm a Jank on a crack pipe, who can't look after her kid! Just wait peeps this wont go down quietly regardless of who you are or what he means to you! Donkey kong is on
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You can probably close the thread now, doesn't get much more retarded than this...




For those who haven't seen this girls page yet click on the link below at your own risk (NSFW)

http://www.facebook.com/Official.Aly...les?ref=stream
trippytrip +

om nom nom

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*** ***** shared Sokhavy BigFan Hilton's photo.
Yes, I am one of the winner of 580$ Million PowerBall I will pick 10 random people to get 1 Million $ each if you share this!
Hemerage +

Giddy'up!

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Amazing.

This photo,


+ some God injected story about "The strength of women, kids, why they cry etc etc"

Couldn't help but reply;

"Oh, this is priceless.
The women pictured, is Casey Marie Anthony.

Was on trial for the murder of her two year old;

"The prosecution sought the death penalty and alleged Casey murdered her daughter to free herself from parental responsibilities by administering chloroform and applying duct tape"

Also, god doesn't have a phone (that's the least of his non-existent worries though)"
ladyinred +

See you Space Samurai...

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"to the striking teachers - pretty sure when you enrolled into your uni course you knew roughly how much money you would earn, how many annual leave days you'd receive and how many personal leave days you were entitled to. SOOOOO, go the fuck back to work and do your job"

and three people have liked it. WOW... oh WOW.

Quote:

Originally Posted by hbomb203 View Post

Sausages make everything better astro. FACT.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jameszabiela

I have to disagree with regards to the sausages...

trippytrip +

om nom nom

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Yeah, totes, cos it's all to do with the teachers complaining that they don't get enough annual leave

As an aside.... all the teachers I know spend most of the school holidays marking assignments and writing up the curriculum for the next term.
Ruthykins +

Stay awake little missfit

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Exactly! I almost lost it at coworkers today because they were rabbiting on about how "teachers just get paid to take holidays" and that "I have to go to this stupid parent teacher night but it's just a way to make the teacher feel like they're actually doing something" UGH DOING SOMETHING???? LIKE FUCKING TEACHING OUR FUCKING KIDS???!!! Arseholes!
Ya baloney
Hemerage +

Giddy'up!

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But really, teachers are dicks.
m_xt +

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It certainly has nothing to do with teachers not wanting schools to be run like businesses with $$ as the bottom line and principals as bosses, or the government ignoring the Gonski report.
..or something.
I have only done one prac so far, but I would like to see these ppl complaining stand up in front of a Western Sydney school in a very poor area and attempt to teach some of these kids, fckn difficult and occasionally dangerous.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ruthykins View Post

"I have to go to this stupid parent teacher night but it's just a way to make the teacher feel like they're actually doing something"

God forbid that parents are expected to have some sort of input and responsibility for raising their own kids!

Part of the reason I haven't re-enrolled this semester
Check it ****s.
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LAZE

Last edited by m_xt: 14-Feb-13 at 08:19pm

Hemerage +

Giddy'up!

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borrisGLOWSTICK +

Shinra Rocket no.26

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I just read some shit by a chick with kids who was talking about when her kids act up she doesnt smack them...she puts chilli powder on their lips and tounge.

Crazy people are ace doorslammers.



Full dark, no stars.
ravelikespastic +

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Thats terrible and child abuse!
A child died after its mother did that to it.
http://ktla.com/2013/01/08/police-to...er-punishment/
Kellyboop +

Lettuce be cereal here, guys.

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I've got a certified, Grade A drama queen on my Facebook and she's going through one of her "moments". She constantly bitches about her life but yet does nothing to change it. Fuck right off.


***** Sorry friends, I thought you realized the other month?!? For those that did NOT catch on... I am done being nice ____(where I am used, abused, and being taken advantage of)! My only goal is to get myself on track -not take care of you as well... OR... have you hurt my only goal. Sorry if I need to be strict -BUT I MEAN IT!!! I'm tired of being in Cali and not reaching MY goals. Not to mention -I should be home morning with my friends in NY...but instead I am stuck here because I can't afford a flight home!!!!!!!!!!! FINALLY, for once I am staying strong to ME -if you can't be grown-up and understanding then it's time to GO for you!!!!!!

****** Hump day -almost done!! It has been way too long... I seriously NEED some ♪♫ dAnciNg ♪♫ in my Life -ASAP!!!!!!

***** Smile like it's your J_O_B

***** Sometimes when I close my eyes I CAN'T SEE

****** I need some dancing in my life... ASAP

***** Hello Friday... I just want to dance -I don't really care!!



She reminds me of that Pablo Fransisco joke where he talks about the girls getting off work and being like "oh my god I just wanna daaaanceeee! I need to daaaaaanceeeeeeee!"
Hemerage +

Giddy'up!

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I think I've seen her.

Media Player
Calvin Harris Electric Zoo 2011 - YouTube
Kellyboop +

Lettuce be cereal here, guys.

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sketchy, modern dance

I like how Americans can't handle a little bit of drug-induced weirdness.
ravelikespastic +

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Thats the best dancing Ive seen this morning!
Awesome.
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*

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friends of mine are having a conversation on FB in English and Dutch regarding one of their son's behaviour at school.

I hit the translate button to follow the conversation.

I'm sorry that I did ...

Quote:

Kut boefjes ook altijd die het zuur maken
Also always that the acid make rascals pussy(Translated by Bing)

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Local Central Coast Bogan Boys on a Facebook Buying and Selling page. (A bit long ... But it's all real)

JA: Hey posting for a mate dose anyone have cheap rims for sale to fit on a ve omega ASAP location central coast nsw

NN: dont think ma 19z will fitt it

JA: What kind of 19s?

NN: the ones on mi calais in mi photo

NN: hp design

JA: How much would you sell them for?

NN: $300 need 2 new tyres

JA: Ahk: Ill let her know.

NN: to easy

DP: I have sss low pedders springs for ve

JA: Hey potter i sent u a text my mates intrested in it

DP: I didnt receive any text. But there here

DP: $180 installed

JA: Ok i will tell them

NG: dont tag me in shit

JA: Oh ok thought u could help my mate

JC: Same here mate

JH: hahahaha the guy is just asking for help give him a fucking break

JA: Thanks joel

AC: 1 month!!!!

NG: thats right boi

AC: ohh you want 1 month too hay ill see you tomorrow bitch

JH: boi who the fuck are u calling boi lol yeah ill take both you bitches on anytime any day

JH: so i see uve told ur mates aaron what need back up ??? Lol

JH: hahahahahahahaha

NG: joel your a dog as is so no 1 ask for back up

AC: nick suck ma dick its ok

AC: one flick and joels out cold

AC: hahahahhah

JH: hahaha ur funny **** come down work tomoz an sort it out dog aye will see

JH: one flick hey azz hahaha wow u fuckers make me laugh

NG: ok
Hard-drinking, party-rebel, known for his irreverent attitude, wild antics & a flair for turning friends into enemies, is asking for an unspecified amount of compensatory, exemplary & punitive damages
sacamano +

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So many spuds in this world..
Hemerage +

Giddy'up!

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Not in my feed.... clicked on this kid from another source.
The fuck!

https://www.facebook.com/swaqqernite

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pamps View Post

You're probably all single with nothing more to look forward to tonight than Dominos and garlic bread, and waking up tomorrow morning with tomato sauce and grease on your dicks and your download limits completely rinsed.

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"The Peoples' Champion"

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Quote:

Originally Posted by ravelikespastic View Post

Thats terrible and child abuse!
A child died after its mother did that to it.
http://ktla.com/2013/01/08/police-to...er-punishment/

I always hated my Mum for that!

All my aussie mates got soap in their mouth or a smack, but no, half indian peaker gets BURNING HOT chilli powder on his mouth.

Probably a bit extreme for a toddler. But it seemed to work ok when we were a bit bigger (but then we got too smart and wouldn't swallow / my mum couldn't catch us haha)
Spoiler:

Quote:

Originally Posted by borrisGLOWSTICK View Post

Life trainwreck stories, bewbs, mod angering drug implicated posts and 2fast2furious only.

Quote:

Originally Posted by mliro View Post

that’s terrible spastic
also I would imagine a little disheartening that he has never attempted to drug rape you?

Velociravetor +

Open the door, get on the floor, everybody do the dinosaur!

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Seen this unfold this morning, i laughed... why do people make FB so public, his profile wasn't even private.

Quote:

"There is nothing more important on the planet Earth, at this moment, than a good party. Why? 'Cause we have fun. We meet our friends. We fall in love, we fall out of love. We find ourselves. We develop, we evolve, we dissolve, we merge and we "lyserge." That's about it." - Raja Ram

Goldfish +

Queen of the castle

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So I've discovered that someone i went to school with is definitely bogan now. A friend of a friend, tempted to add purely for the LOL's

This was all in reply to pics of said girl from school (almost 40) and some late teen/early 20s girls make out pics :/

Idiot 1 Wtf
23 hours ago via mobile · Like

Idiot 2 fucking sluts!
22 hours ago · Edited · Like · 2

Bogan 1 Your a fucking **** Dont call my sisters sluts
22 hours ago via mobile · Like

Idiot 2 if they are going to act like it they should be called it!
22 hours ago · Like · 1

Bogan1 How are that dick head
22 hours ago via mobile · Like

Idiot 1 Look at them -,-
22 hours ago via mobile · Like · 1

Bogan 2 Aww bruz u wouldent wanna be talkin bout me gf or me mum or me mates bruz deadset !!!
22 hours ago via mobile · Like

Bogan1 Look m88 that's my mum and sisters u won't to talk about them like that look out m8
22 hours ago via mobile · Like

Bogan 2 Look at u ya fat lil gronk with ya fat mate haha u dont no me or me girl friend idiot 1
22 hours ago via mobile · Like

Idiot 2 face facts put photos like that on facebook someones goin to call you a slut!
22 hours ago · Like · 1

Idiot 1 hhahahaha!!! Oh lord your mum and sisters all kissing each other on the lips? Wow. That right there ^^
22 hours ago via mobile · Like · 1

Bogan 1 Listen here **** you probley Dont even no what a slut is so gtfo and shut the fuq up ya stupid mutt
22 hours ago via mobile · Like

Idiot 1 Oh don't I? Well you obviously don't know what inbred means -,- dickhead
22 hours ago via mobile · Like · 1

Bogan 2 Aww boy say one more thing bruz wen im out of lock up **** u better watch out an fatty i will show u slut run a train on ya an then c who the slut is haha
22 hours ago via mobile · Like

Idiot 1 Doesn't make me a slut if you run a train over me -,-
22 hours ago via mobile · Like · 1

Bogan1 Oi fuck head you don't no shit motherfucker so go neck ya self ya stuqid fucks
22 hours ago via mobile · Like

Idiot 2 look man your probably a good bloke im not startin a fight i'm just saying if she is your gf why the fuck are you letting her make out with other people thas abit fucked in the head isn't it?
22 hours ago · Like · 2

Idiot 1 LOL
22 hours ago via mobile · Like

Bogan 1 This is *1 of said sluts* I'll bash you Idiot 1
22 hours ago via mobile · Like · 1

Idiot 1 Come at me
22 hours ago via mobile · Like

Bogan 1 Umm there not making out dick head
22 hours ago via mobile · Like

Bogan 1 I will slut
22 hours ago via mobile · Like · 1

Idiot 1 Hahaha okaaay! ^
22 hours ago via mobile · Like

Bogan 2 Yer rite say sorry bro an idiot 1 meet me newcastle an ill do more than come at u lad i got boys an girls that wanna fight gronks like u everyday so come at me u no were ill be slut
22 hours ago via mobile · Like

Mum Be nice kiddies
22 hours ago via mobile · Like · 1

Random They ain't sluts it's what close friends do!!! So don't go calling my friend a slut ****!!!
28 minutes ago via mobile · Like
There are two Goldfish in a tank... One turns to the other and says.... " How do ya drive this thing?
nrjize +

licking dates

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Ah vaguebooking. You're so fucking pointless.
"I theme-dress depending on where I'm going... if I was going to dinner at a Chinese restaurant, I would wear a kimono - it makes it more fun." Kelly Osbourne.

"yeah, i have back problems that i tried to cure with heroin. what of it?"
m_xt +

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A painfully hipster friend just posted his macbook with keys changed to wooden ones.
This makes me irrationally angry.
Check it ****s.
Soundcloud

LAZE
GoodLove +

likes this

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What is a gronk
Chesterfield +

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A chick I went to high school with just about gave me a brain aneurysm the other day.




A few weeks earlier...

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Hypocrisy- the worst kind of idiots.
Villephant +

Can't see

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i was going to yell at the first post alone, the the second one... puts it in perspective...
morons
Villephant - 2014-02 It's still 2, it's still 2!
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Ruthykins +

Stay awake little missfit

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"1.5L expressed - halfway there"
:shudder:
Ya baloney
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Giddy'up!

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Ruthy.... a cow?
A normal crack is like 80ml

Also, "errrmaghad picture on facebook better share it... fuck common sense!"

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pamps View Post

You're probably all single with nothing more to look forward to tonight than Dominos and garlic bread, and waking up tomorrow morning with tomato sauce and grease on your dicks and your download limits completely rinsed.

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So...an ITMer (though inactive for a while) posts this



and this link

https://www.facebook.com/officialprotestantcoalition

and calls it interesting.

Hope she is being ironical.
red is the new blu
liberabit +

One of these days you'll wake up dead

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so no much retarded as lol

Quote:

Fun fact: Listening to Skrillex while doing electronics helps scare the electrons into behaving the way you want.

This is no love song and it serves no use, but if you want to sing along to some verbal abuse
It might make you feel better and it's good for the soul, take four letters and let's rock n roll
borrisGLOWSTICK +

Shinra Rocket no.26

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Are u fucking serious ?? Seriously u and others like u are the reason this country is fucked u completely just contradicted ya self first saying ya don't want ya kids called mohomed and "straya ****s" but then u say we need to encourage immigration for growth wtf!! That's the reason right there why this country is fucked.. Ppl turning a blind eye to what is really happening.. I'm not saying lets ban any foreign person from ever coming here but we need laws and rules in place such as if u want in u must talk so much English and u must do test that u have to pass and u must follow our laws.. Like the burka and the towel heads I mean seriously the courts let old mate use no helmet and where his towel but old jo blo Aussie gets fined for no helmet.. And we do this cause we are scared of starting a war if we put our foot down.. Well I say give me gun and put me on the front line cause I'm ready... And there needs to be a world war anyway it will bring stability back to countries and the economy...
Crazy people are ace doorslammers.



Full dark, no stars.
m_xt +

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Quote:

Originally Posted by borrisGLOWSTICK View Post

first saying ya don't want ya kids called mohomed and "straya ****s"

Who would name their kids 'Mohomed' and ''Straya ****'?
Straya, go get your brother Mo for dinner.
Check it ****s.
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