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A Redleaf Memoir

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Rollar +

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A Redleaf Memoir
Yesterday I took a trip to the decadent confines of Woollahra Council. After my business was done I wandered down to the Redleaf Tuck Shop (Redleaf is a harbour beach/pool half way between Double and Rose Bay). After devouring my salad sanger I thought a stroll around the perimeter of the pool would serve me well before heading off to my afternoon meetings.

I get three-quarters the way 'round and lo and behold I run into an old friend, Alex M., the elder brother to former Darlinghurst social queen Geroge "Ermis" M. (George is know living in Hong Kong building up his ragtime trade).

<b>Adam</b>: Alex! How are you? Oh my god, it's been ages.
<b>Alex</b>: Adam! Hello darling. How you been?

Alex is sun basking with 3 friends: local Italian Stallion Vince together with David & Rodney who still haven't returned to Brisbane after an extended Mardi Gras vacation.

So there I am in a suit minus the jacket chattin' with 4 Muscle Marys. Alex is quick to inform Vince of my preference for female-flavoured sex, just for the record.

Alex lights a joint. I politely knock it back before changing my mind on second offering. Now I'm stoned. Again.

Alex informs me that they all just took a pill about 30 min before me crashing their party. I laugh and note that some things never change, or if they do its more often than not superficial. So, of course, I'm offered a pill and a pair of speedos. Its really not a hard decision. I go to the change rooms and promptly return for a barrage of giggles.

And guess what? It's massage time! Too-fucking-shay. Alex gives me the BEST neck/back/leg/face/head massage I've had since Utopia 1993 when I got entangled with this Kama Sutra Mistress from South Newtown. But that's another story.

The massage is devine. Not sleazy, Alex ain't like that. But he did say I had a nice arse. Point taken, Alex, point taken.

Rodney returns from a refreshing dip and decides to give me a lesson in receiving massage. Now you must keep in mind that that his pill has well and truly kicked in.

<b>Rodney</b>: Adam, your breathing is all wrong darling. You have to breath in 6 counts through your nose and breath out 8 counts through your mouth. Make sure you tongue is resting on the top of your mouth and your mouth is only just open.
<b>Adam</b>: OK. Sure.
<b>Rodney</b>: You know how there's a second in a second?
<b>Adam</b>: Yea.
<b>Rodney</b>: Good.
<b>Adam</b>: OK [I'm thinking ... what the fuk is this guy on today? Will this be me in 30 min minus the camp accent?!]
<b>Rodney</b>: Good. Now the massues will pressurise in time with your exhaling. Excellent! Your legs are all wrong Adam. Turn your feet in. That's it. Only your legs, hips, feet and part of your knees should be in contact with the gorund.
<b>Adam</b>: Like this?
<b>Rodney</b>: No. In a fraction more. That's it! Feel better.
<b>Adam</b>: Yea, sure it does.

Rodney wanders off again after giving Alex a couple of pointers which he really doesn't need.

<b>Alex</b>: (muterring in my ear) I fucking hate in when people interupt me.

So the massage comes to an end and my pill is comin' on nice and smooth like.
Another joint and its time to reschedule my afternoon meetings. With the loud cawking of seagulls in the background I can only imagine my customers were raising their eyebrows! Yea, sure Adam, OK, whatever, see you tomorrow.

I tune back into the conversation at hand.

<b>Vince</b>: Oh my god, check out the guy in the black swimmers. I think he's checking me out.
<b>David</b>: I always know when I being checked out. I can feel it. It feels good.
<b>Rodney</b>: Get over yourself David.
<b>Vince</b>: Jesus! Look at the donger on him! What I could do with that. Nice abs too.
<b>David</b>: I'm not into the whole ab 6-pak thing. I mean, I like muscles but more natural.
<b>Alex</b>: Abs are out of fashion anyway. Arms are back. It's all about arms.
<b>David</b>: Like arms ever weren't in fashion! No biceps = No sex.
<b>Adam</b>: Phew!
<b>Alex</b>: Is that Adrian K? Fuk, it is too. I fuked that guy SO hard. Got rid of his stupid attitude.
<b>Rodney</b>: Alex! I don't want to know. None of us do.

Silence. The sun is shining. THC and MDMA partciles are doing their Monday thing. Silence for another minute or two before it is broken with another of Alex's subtle touches.

<b>Alex</b>: You know what's pissing me off at the moment? Squatting on my lover's face. My quads get so sore.
<b>Everyone</b>: Oh, Alex! Yuk!
<b>Alex</b>: It's true! I hate it. So over it.
<b>Adam</b>: You need one of those beds that props up. That way your lover will come to you.
<b>Rodney</b>: He needs he's fuking head read darling that's what he needs.
<b>David</b>: Shhit! Is that that newsreader from ABC? I didn't know he was one of us.
<b>Rodney</b>: What? He's been out for years. I rimmed him a few Mardi Gras ago! [giggles]
<b>Vince</b>: (has been contemplating Alex's "predicament") What you need darling is those bars on the ceiling like at the Chinese massage parlours. You can get rimmed whilst working your triceps. Heaven!

It's all too much for me so I dive for a lazy swim. The water temp is spot on which kinda makes up for its less than perfect cleanliness.

Upon my return a charged up Alex asks me whether I have any lonely gay freinds.

<b>Adam</b>: Yea, a couple.
<b>Alex</b>: Ohhhhh.
<b>Adam</b>: Not "a couple" but two individuals ya dirty poof.
<b>Alex</b>: Oh. Do tell.

It goes on with me calling up my gay mate who hjust so happens to have the day off. Alas, he can't make it. I'm relaying the phone conversation to my 4 eager pilled-up poofs.

<b>Adam</b>: He said he'd love to but has to meet a friend.
<b>Rodney</b>: Tell him we're flying back to Brisbane tomorrow and this is his only chance.
<b>Adam</b>: He's says he really can't make it.
<b>Alex</b>: That's OK. Vince and I will be around. Tell him he can choose between the big hunky Italian and the slender sexy Greek.
<b>Adam</b>: He said why make a choice?
<b>Vince</b>: [laughing] Exactly. I like him already.

I grab a round of Powerades as the afternoon strolls on by. A quick phone call to spinbunny to inform her of my hilarioius and impromptu afternoon. Before I know it it's 4pm and time to bail.

So there you go, an innocent trip to the Council Chambers and I end up off-chops at Redleaf. Life is grand.
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Re: A Redleaf Memoir
Rollar, you are Moff reincarnate.

<i>I just don't know where it comes from. Sometimes it scares me, you know</i>
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Re: A Redleaf Memoir
Klassik.....

k_x oxo
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Re: A Redleaf Memoir
Rollar... how come u always manage to have the coolest adventures?

~Kirst = jealous~
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Re: A Redleaf Memoir
Kirst.... sumfink about a wing and a prayer at times....

k_sorry for answering for him but _x oxo
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Re: A Redleaf Memoir
~Kirst~

I love cool adventures. I've dedicated an on-going, sustainable partof my life to getting into them.

These are my thoughts on maximising your cool adventure potential:

1. Talk to everyone. Old. Young. Labor. Liberal. Gay. Straight. Law enforcer. Criminal. etc etc.
2. Embrace non-judgmentality. Very, very important.
3. Try to avoid taking the same route. Simple example: I drive from Paddington to Northbridge and back again every day and I always take a turn that I didn't take the day before. Doesn't mean I don't take the same route twice, there's only so many streets. Mix it up though. Fuk being late for work.
4. Be sincere at all times.
5. Follow your instincts. Say what your want to say, part. to strangers. Eg "My o my am I horny today!" or "Do you snorkel?" or "My dealer had good coke."
6. Don't get easily embarassed.
7. Retail therapy - it's not about purchasing it's about interacting. Ask the deli owner about the history of ginger-cured eggplant, get the assistant to measure you for new clothes even when you know your size. Don't just browse.
8. Make faces at kids. Smile at their parents.
9. Stay in touch with people - use your mobile phone book - quick email/phone call/coffee ... don't see the same people all the time.
10. Be loyal to ya mates.
11. Take an interest in what others are doing. Encourage them to tell their story, not walking but right here.
12. Be on the look out for adventures. Be ready to change your plans without being unreliable.
13. Always say Hi to gay friends, esp. the blokes. They usually have drugs. ;-)
14. Be active - go home and watch telly a few nites a week but mix it up with some fun @!#$ like cooking classes, kickboxing, snorkeling.... whatever.
15. Share your cool adventure stories.
16. Take a sickie when you're feeling 100% and go seek.
17. Vary your mode of transportation. Car, train, ferry, bike, foot etc.
18. Establish rapport. Not cheesy like a salesperson.
19. Don't get disappointed if you haven't had a cool adventure every week. Embarce home life too. Set an achievable cool adventure target of say, 10 in year 1. Expand from there.
20. Keep clubbing and partying in check. The adventures can (not will!) get very monotonous and boring.
21. Learn a language. Go and practise it. Sydney is great for that. Learn Italian and hang out in Leichardt, learn Greek and shop in Earlwood, learn Vietnamese and hang out in Long Bay, I mean Cabramatta, learn Polish and hang out in Auburn, learn Russian and hang out with the Russian Jews in Bondi. The list goes on.
22. Look/talk at/to people like you just might have something they want. Don't be obvious else they'll think you're a wanker. Don't be too mysterious or you'll freak them out. It's a fuking tightrope, man.
Rollar +

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Re: A Redleaf Memoir
ps - I don't think I necessarily get into more cool adventures than most, I just enjoy writing about them on public forums more than most
peedah +

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Re: A Redleaf Memoir
Brilliant mate, I might just print that out and stick it on my wall!
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Re: A Redleaf Memoir
LYW rollar. fine list !
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Re: A Redleaf Memoir
>18. Establish rapport. Not cheesy like a salesperson

all my life i've searched for rapport .... all my life.
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Re: A Redleaf Memoir
Adam - you're a freak and I love you :]
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Re: A Redleaf Memoir
Rollar!

I love your work. This is how 5-year-olds must feel, only they can't appreciate it...
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Re: A Redleaf Memoir
Dazza how does an innocent person like yourself manage to get themself in so much trouble? I mean poor little you just minding your own business and end up off chops in some bloody pool.I mean it could've been very dangerous darling you could've slipped and cut your knee, or successfull attempts at stgulo been made,I don't know which would've been worse? And to have to cancel all your afternoon appointments would've been very disappointing for you. I hope you are being a good boy today and staying inside in your office doing a hard days work.
p.s. the phone call made me laugh all afternoon!!
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Re: A Redleaf Memoir
drug fcuked idiot.
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Re: A Redleaf Memoir
Rollar, you are wasted on Medical Supplies.

Come to think of it, you are wasted on medical supplies, too.

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Re: A Redleaf Memoir
Rollar - pure class...

..you rock my world!
Rollar +

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Re: A Redleaf Memoir
Not that I'm responding to pubescent MrShark or anything but for the record that was the first pill I munched in at least a month, if not two.

I only say this because I don't want people to interpret my story as an endorsement of regular drug use. Rather just a funny, opportunistic afternoon.

It's very easy for people to make assumptions in this world ...
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Re: A Redleaf Memoir
opportunities = life
douggie +

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Re: A Redleaf Memoir
loved it, but i'm curious who's the gay ABC guy?

douggie
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Re: A Redleaf Memoir
awesome, inspriational, aspirational stuff... nice work rollar.
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Re: A Redleaf Memoir
Clue: it wasn't Kerry O'Brien
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Re: A Redleaf Memoir
Top stuff A!

The only things I remember of Redleaf Pool is skinny-dipping there in 1987 with John Laws's son, and running past there in the 1999 City-To-Surf seriously considering dropping out of the race and running straight into the pool - it was a tough race.
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Re: A Redleaf Memoir
Ahhhh....Redleaf. You've reminded me of one absolutely fine fine summer's day a year ago. Gorgeous day, Seven Shillings beach - spliffs, cold beers, mates.... and the swimsuit model shoot going on 5 metres away...

If I close my eyes now....

thanks Rollar!
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Re: A Redleaf Memoir
Excellent...love hearing stuff like that.

Expect the unexpected - routine is a barrier to fun.
Leaving work ealry to go....???, somewhere... : )
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Re: A Redleaf Memoir
doesn' matter if you havent had a pill in 2 months.

the fact is that when someone from the 'in' crowd talks about taking drugs everybody 'loves your work', but when someone else does they all tell them to go back to bluelight.
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Re: A Redleaf Memoir
Go back to blulight, Gfunk
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Re: A Redleaf Memoir
Rod, the drug taking in Rollar's story is incidental to the crux of the story and Rollars adventure,and the part that I imagine results in the 'love yer work' posts, that being the adventures one can have when 'going with the flow'. It still would have been a good story with or without the drug taking.
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Re: A Redleaf Memoir
Gfunk aka MrShark

If I can say this, people just don't post LYW in response to my posts that mention drugs. If you read them you will see there is a wide diversity and I have been an ardent campaigner of responsible drug use. As you well know, my habit was out of control for a while and I had to do something about it. Now, I'm not ashamed or embarassed of that. It's an issue that most on this forum would have dealt with at some time whether directly or otherwise.

I don't think that qualifies me as a drug fuked idiot as you so "eloquently" stated.

And I don't think my past disallows me from writing funny anecdotes that may or may not be drug related.

Whatever the case, what's your point exactly? I don't know where you're coming from or where you are going with it.

ps - "In" crowd? HA! I'm just comfortable with my friends, I don't give a fuk about being "in" unless it's "in" is the "in" as "in" "in my girlfriend's bed".

pps - I don't even know if your post is serious or not. If it is, well there. If it's not, but you're trying to piss me off then sorry, you failed.
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Re: A Redleaf Memoir
ok let me edit that

lets change it from drug fcucked idiot to just idiot


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Re: A Redleaf Memoir
i thought it was funny so i said lyw.
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Re: A Redleaf Memoir
boyz: kiss, make up and shuddup
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Re: A Redleaf Memoir
Rodney: just because you were down the pool with a few friends and adam happened to run into you, is no reason to get so angry.

who wants a man-hug?
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Re: A Redleaf Memoir
Rollar you live life to the fullest.. love it.. and i do go on amazing adventures... i just dont usually stumble across them as easily as you do.. Dont ever stop with that kind of living.. its what its all about

~Kirst~
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Re: A Redleaf Memoir
Free spiritness is the key.

And komfort in ure own zone to venture out into others.

k_x oxo
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Re: A Redleaf Memoir
gfunk = little bitch from baseketball :p
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Re: A Redleaf Memoir
/me loox unimpressed.

/me seen this before.

/me wonders when lessons get learnt but some never do by some.

NB: not u Rollar

k_x oxo
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Re: A Redleaf Memoir
Gfunk Vs Rollar

ROUND 1: Gfunk hits Rollar with an early flurry or punches, some apparently below the belt.
ROUND 2: Rollar comes out and hits Gfunk with cold, emotionless logic.
ROUND 3: Gfunk comes out of his corner to find the ring empty and Rollar making off with the round girl in the direction of the changing rooms. Gfunk exits the rings to the tune of Plumps "Groovy Fucker".Everyone agrees that love is the real winner excepts Mike Tyson who threatens to "whoop every white ass in the place except Gfunks"
ROUND 4: The world ends.
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Classic.
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Agreed.
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Yeah boy !
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loved it..........you have a great way of translating your adventures into writing....
Ich bin ein Springfielder!


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I haven't had so much fun reading a thread in ages.

Nice work Rollar.
Never mind the bollocks
Here's Lambretta
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Quote:

Originally posted by Lambretta
I haven't had so much fun reading a thread in ages.

Nice work Rollar.

Nice delay work Lam!
There is pleasure in the pathless woods,
There is a rapture on the lonely shore,
There is society, where none intrudes,
By the deep sea, and music in its roar:
I love not man the less, but Nature more.... Lord Byron
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now why can't ppl just enjoy the story for what it is which sounds like a damn fun day instead of pulling out one aspect and having a go at something that isn't that important?
would it have been better if they were drinking beers by the pool and getting smashed that way?
nice work rollar!
Definition of Necrophilia: That uncontrollable urge to crack open a cold one!
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People say ITM is going downhill.

But how can we hope to compete?
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Oh my god - how freaky.

I was on the bus on my way to work this morning planning my weekend and some time by the pool. The shenanigans of this exact thread popped into my head and here it is - revived!!
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you're not gay by any chance, are you?
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