General

OMG - police investigating large scale suicides in Sydney?!?

Reply
  Tools
phatman +

Makin' bacon

phatman's Avatar
Joined
Jan '02
Times thanked
< 0
Posts
2,616
OMG - police investigating large scale suicides in Sydney?!?
From the Sydney Morning Herald today, dear God, my condolences go out to the families and friends of these poor souls. Does anyone know these people?:



Thousands die in spontaneous post new year suicides:



Police are currently investigating a spate of apparently related suicides across Sydney today. Hundreds of Sydney youths have been found dead in their homes, sparking urgent inquiries into the deaths. A special taskforce has been established to determine why so many Sydneysiders, whom are reported to have not known each other, aged between 17 and 32 have decided to take their own lives within the space of hours beginning from 11.30pm, January 1st. It is not yet clear whether the deaths are of the type of internet organised group suicide currently plaguing Japan.



Moira Harrigan, mother of a 20 year old deceased recalled her son happily humming a tune as he walked in the door of their Randwick home, only to later later find a suicide note bearing the words, Had a great day, things are going well with Clara, good to see the gang OMFG I just remembered that the sun didnt come out for long enough on the day and that I think my mate Jerry told me that the sound was shit in the Killer stage. NEVER. AGAIN. Goodbye cruel world.



Investigators are attempting to determine what the significance is of this Killer or Death Stage, as it has been referred to by some police.



Peter Spruce, found the suicide note of his son Peter Spruce Jnr, bearing the words, One of my Heinekens today wasnt as cold as usual. Time to auto-fellate myself to death. Spruce Jnr was found semi-naked with a broken spinal column and a cracked rib that had punctured his lungs.



Most puzzling to police investigators was the suicide note of Reginald Terwilliger, of Epping, which stated, They sang a Tribe song, they aint Tribe, fuck that. Dope beats but. And Im out.



Investigators are questioning the administrators of a website that reportedly provides toilets to music festivals, as one of the deceased was halfway through entering the words Where was the trance? on a bulletin board, before shooting himself in the head. He had apparently neglected to press a submit post button before his tragic death. Investigators may never know whether he had more clues to give before his untimely death but one police officer commented, we all know trance is shite toilet websites are probably not to blame, we are currently more interested in his dubious cd collection.



Investigations are continuing around the clock.
Warren G +

label whore

Warren G's Avatar
Joined
Dec '02
Times thanked
< 56
Posts
8,164
Jonas, you fuckin rawk!

LYW
Bushy +

Registered User

Bushy's Avatar
Joined
Nov '02
Times thanked
< 94
Posts
9,199

Quote:

Originally Posted by phatman

Investigators may never know whether he had more clues to give before his untimely death but one police officer commented, “we all know trance is shite – toilet websites are probably not to blame, we are currently more interested in his dubious cd collection”.

You had me up until about here...

Since when do police have taste in music?
pleb +

Half Mongrel

pleb's Avatar
Joined
Jun '04
Times thanked
< 0
Posts
4,294,967,211
Love your work porkchop
http://www.magnerscider.com/
Tripi Taka +

Registered User

Tripi Taka's Avatar
Joined
Mar '01
Times thanked
< 0
Posts
2,225


Brav-fking-O, Jonas.
"Give it up for me again, cos I'm fucking awesome."
-Har Mar Superstar, Livid 03

We are seriously unfuckwithable at this point. ...Not only that, but I'm honored to say that I will be the first ever live act to perform on the colossal program. On top of it all, I'll be doing a sit-down interview with the man himself. Roll out the red carpet, bitches. It seems like nothing can stop us now ... which makes us like Queen.
speakafreaka +

Bless You Ants. Blants.

speakafreaka's Avatar
Joined
Apr '01
Times thanked
< 0
Posts
1,373

LSHMPFD!








(laughing so hard my pants fell down)

WWW.DEFEATEDBEAT.COM
where good music goes to die

Geezah +

Raaaaaaaaaaaaarrghh

Geezah's Avatar
Joined
Sep '03
Times thanked
< 1,658
Posts
12,196
Good work champ.
Avatar artist: Dain Fagerholm
Milky Crate Kid +

Francophile

Milky Crate Kid's Avatar
Joined
Apr '01
Times thanked
< 0
Posts
4,626
And this Jonas is why we all love you so much. Fukn gold.

First person to bang on about this being inappropriate gets a punch in the guts.

MCK
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy. When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight...
Khalil Gibran
ellwa +

Thought Stealer

ellwa's Avatar
Joined
Sep '02
Times thanked
< 0
Posts
3,880
comedy. gold.

LYW joey
Minxie +

Registered User

Minxie's Avatar
Joined
Apr '02
Times thanked
< 0
Posts
1,593
Bwahah! Love it
littleblonde +

A proud Scot.

littleblonde's Avatar
Joined
Jun '01
Times thanked
< 2
Posts
9,397
"It's our decisions, not the conditions of our lives, that determine our destiny."

Want to make a difference? www.globalhand.org
djcz +

ITM Contributor

djcz's Avatar
Joined
Nov '01
Times thanked
< 1
Posts
2,467

Quote:

Originally Posted by littleblonde

w0rd
516
djbobbit +

boy needs therapy

djbobbit's Avatar
Joined
Dec '01
Times thanked
< 11
Posts
3,219
too good
alowflyingpig +

FunKy ElEctRo

Joined
Oct '02
Times thanked
< 0
Posts
5,686
had me till "..... Jerry told me that the sound was shit in the Killer stage. NEVER. AGAIN. Goodbye cruel world"

Killer stage.. HAHAHA

that stage rocked!
a.k.a Adam Brookes

If I asked you a question, what would your answer be??

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ralph Wiggum

I was a *** then and I'm still a *** now :***:

central_smurf +

Registered User

central_smurf's Avatar
Joined
Jan '02
Times thanked
< 9
Posts
5,428
i must be pretty damn slow for not getting that until the first reply...

damn you phatman for making me feel sad for those families which do not exist!
DOOPY_LOOPY +

lexxie

DOOPY_LOOPY's Avatar
Joined
Oct '04
Times thanked
< 0
Posts
1,873

Quote:

One of my Heinekens today wasnt as cold as usual. Time to auto-fellate myself to death.

Most impressive and masterful work

nice jo
Well generally there are good intentions to listen to quality music but they usually evaporate in a hazy mess.
Tripi Taka +

Registered User

Tripi Taka's Avatar
Joined
Mar '01
Times thanked
< 0
Posts
2,225
that paragraph was easily the highlight.

love the dig at the trance-lover too.
"Give it up for me again, cos I'm fucking awesome."
-Har Mar Superstar, Livid 03

We are seriously unfuckwithable at this point. ...Not only that, but I'm honored to say that I will be the first ever live act to perform on the colossal program. On top of it all, I'll be doing a sit-down interview with the man himself. Roll out the red carpet, bitches. It seems like nothing can stop us now ... which makes us like Queen.
Breakme +

Seams Mistress

Breakme's Avatar
Joined
Dec '03
Times thanked
< 9
Posts
5,778
Bless their poor little cotton socks
Method-Man +

Hardcore Souljah!

Method-Man's Avatar
Joined
Jun '04
Times thanked
< 0
Posts
504
rofl fkn slut !!
had me till the next post
still havent recovered from syd nye so il use that as my excuse

thnx for freaking the shit out of me

have a nice day
dave +

aka Davo

dave's Avatar
Joined
Mar '01
Times thanked
< 0
Posts
1,358
*yawns*
Agent_99 +

Registered User

Agent_99's Avatar
Joined
Jan '04
Times thanked
< 0
Posts
1,633
so inappropriate
Bella +

=BellaBoogaloo=

Bella's Avatar
Joined
Mar '01
Times thanked
< 1
Posts
4,883
Tweet Tweet! Bella Boogaloo on Twitter

Tumbl This! Haircrash

or Tumbl This! Kicks n Geeky Shit
Marzy +

Registered User

Marzy's Avatar
Joined
Jan '02
Times thanked
< 0
Posts
3,719
brilliant!

had me going for a while ... was watching the news at the same time and thinking omg wtf isn't this headlining ... lol
Reply

« Previous Thread Next Thread »

Posting Rules

+
    • You may not post new threads
    • You may not post replies
    • You may not post attachments
    • You may not edit your posts