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What's the Worst Smell You've Ever Smelled? MAKE IT EVOCATIVE.

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becy +

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oh i read it jase. i'm not shaking your hand again my friend lol
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Quote:

Originally Posted by gameboy

in hospital visiting a friend. guy lying next to him had malena (sp?). combination of diahhorea and blood coming out of his ass. well and truely wrong smell

How much would you just want to sew your bunghole closed....
LISSIE RHYMES WITH PISSIE



Quote:

Originally Posted by mike_L

Silva you're going the right way for a smacked bottom and I don't care who knows it!

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Wash your hands please
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Man, between the wank den and your phallic taps.......
LISSIE RHYMES WITH PISSIE



Quote:

Originally Posted by mike_L

Silva you're going the right way for a smacked bottom and I don't care who knows it!

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Welcome to the pleasure dome
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so adrian we're discussing your cock in a thread entitled "whats the worst smell you've ever smelled"


do keep digging, i mean going.
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Hahahaha good point...

No good for buisiness...Let's take it to the lifestyle forum... Lol
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Quote:

Originally Posted by adrian morton

Hahahaha good point...

No good for buisiness...Let's take it to the lifestyle forum... Lol

The discussion of your manky cock isn't going to look any better over in lifestyle.....

Is your middle name smegma?
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Quote:

Originally Posted by mike_L

Silva you're going the right way for a smacked bottom and I don't care who knows it!

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This thread is the greatest. Serious lol'ing all round. I'm impressed with everyones writing abilities. Well done. And Adrian Moron... stop attempting to be funny, you're seriously not.
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And you are?

What a fucking joke that is.


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Wow you really got me there. I guess I should stop posting then for fear of further humilliation.
ಥ_ಥ - - - - - - - - - - - -ಠ_

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nice
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Wow!! What a fantastic hour of reading!

They realy should put warning lables on some of the cat food tins. Our cat lets out the worst farts. We think he does them when he doesn't want to be picked up.



I got into a taxi a month or so back and the atmosphere was a terrible hybrid of vomit smell and that oder the people have that don't wash themselves when they're in the shower.
I'm usualy fairly resistant to smells but this was just too much!

My brother who was sitting in the back seat for the first 5 minutes of the ride before escaping to his girlfriend's place said this guy had a wiskey bottle or something of that nature shoved down the side of his seat.

To make matters worse this guy was trying to engage me in a conversation about something i couldn't keep up with cause he was answering all his own questions. I'm always happy to chat with these guys cause i know they get treated like crap quite often but this particular occasion i realy didn't want to be opening my mouth too much with this foul gut heaving smell assulting and violating my nostrils.

So i had the window wide open for a while and thought i would be able to survive the trip home as long as i kept my face pointed into the wind but then he casualy closes it and says "Sorry i can't hear myself talking with the window down."

After 20 minutes trapped in this fumigation chamber gone wrong we get to my street. I'm feeling quite sick at this stage with the combination of his insaine driving abilites, or lack there of and this horrid smell. So when we pull up out the front of my house i'm thinking i'm free, but i was wrong. This guy then continues on his one sided conversation with me for a further 40 minutes without taking breath!! No exaguration cause i was watching the clock. I'm sure everyone has had this problem from time to time where it is physicaly impossible to get a word in.

I finaly decide i can't be polite anymore and just jump right in mid sentence and tell him i goto go and made up a bad excuse about having a meeting in the morning.
The guy went all quiet and i felt terrible. But i had to get out. So i stumbled into the house and went straight to the bathroom to gargle.

Duno if that was the worst smell i have ever encounted but definatly up near the top.

Good work everyone, Fantastic forum!

Z
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the smell near the airport i have to drive past every morning. swampage, or something like aeroplane waste, im not too sure. Emits a wonderful aroma when hot, and great when you dont have aircon working and need to have the windows down.

re.vol.TING!!$@#$
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Quote:

Originally Posted by becy

silva and n4te i'm loling for real the guy that kicked the shit in the temper tanty. hahahahahaha


krafty, it was eltham north of melbourne - well still a suburb really but in the bush part.

Ahhh coool becy. When you mentioned Eltham, Nimbin and dirty lying hippy bitches in one sentence I assumed it would be th North Coast.

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I actually have a top three (though not in any particular order, they are bad for different reasons). Its amazing how clearly you can remember smells.

1. Noosa when i was about 12. My little brother would collect shells and pebbles on the beach everyday and bring them back to our apartment. One day he brought back a piece of coral and put it in his little box of shells. The thing about coral is its a living organism so it dies and rots just like any other. Well it died after a few days and the smell is unbelieveable. You would imagine it to smell like rotting fish, but thats a merely a soft undertone, and is preferable to this stench. A plate of rotting fish strapped to my chin would be infinately more pleasurable. The smell of coral though isnt hard hitting. It takes a moment for it to register in your nose, and it builds intensity. It is sickly sweet, yet undeniably heavy. It clung to objects like Paris Hilton clings to greek shipping heirs. Its the kind of smell that makes you want to vomit, but vomiting would cause the smell to spread to your tounge.

The major problem with the smell is we couldnt find what was causing it due to the tiny piece of coral, so we had to live with it the entire week. The worst part was perhaps the 14 hour car ride home, the smell built and built in a car of 5 people and continued a week later when mum finally tracked it down after going mental looking everywhere for what had been a bit over 2 weeks now. Perhaps it wasnt the smell itself but the length of time. No it WAS the smell, the time just didnt help. Coral!

Stay tuned for 2 more exciting smells from mcdonalds and my kitchen!
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Last edited by brickup: 27-Oct-05 at 10:10am

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worst smell i have ever smelled was in korea, at the airport we walked into one of those little glass rooms and the whole room stunk like a mixture of seaweed who knows what else. It was a smell so bad that really we couldnt even pretend not to be all rude about i had to cover my nose and run out the door before i was sick in there and walked out dryreaching. so extremely extremely bad.
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I just remembered another horrible smell that will haunt me on my death bed.

Back in year 10 , I was... well, let's face it, I was a smartarse with little inclination of doing any real work. As such, I was usually found hanging around with similar characters. One of them was in my science class. In this story, I'll call him Alex, mainly because that was his name.

The scene: Biology class. Biology was my most hated of subjects. This was mainly because of the teacher, who couldn't stand the sight of me. Looking back, I can understand this - shit, I almost sympathise with the poor bastard - but back then, I just thought he was an assclown. The one person he hated more than me was Alex.

Anyway, we were split up into groups of two, and presented with a rat each, and told to carve it up and have a look inside. Now, I don't like this sort of nasty shit, so Alex was given the scalpel and went to work on our little friend. Getting bored, he had started to saw off one of it's legs, when our teacher came over. Seeing what Alex was doing, the teacher gave him the most severe verbal beating I have ever witnessed. He aurally raped him. It was breathtaking. Having finished, the teacher stormed out of the classroom and went to get his detention cards.

Alex, never one to admit defeat, took the opportunity for revenge. Using his scalpel, he cut open the stomache of our rat, then separated it from the body. Immediatly, a pungent mixture of digestive gases and rotting food filled the room. Green, bile-like liquid dripped from the stomache, now being held in Alex's gloved hand. One kid retched and ran from the room, the small was that powerful. Alex walked clamly to the front, bent down and wiped the stomache all over the bottom of our teachers desk. By this stage, kids were trying to get to the nearest window or door, frantically holding their breath, waiting to get fresh air.

Eventually, our teacher came back into the room, and instantly gagged when the smell of death and piss and shit reached his nose. At this stage, one kid lost it and violently vomited onto his desk, adding the pungent aroma of sick to the mixture. At that point, everyone in the classroom ran out, including our teacher.

They cleaned the classroom, but the smell never realy went away. Nobody told our teacher who caused the horrible smell, and to make everything better, the calamity surrounding the incident made the teacher forget about Alex's detention.

Didn't stop him failing the HSC, though.
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becy +

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oh my god that's brilliant! hahahahahaha I want to meet Alex. He sounds awesome.
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Quote:

Originally Posted by becy

oh my god that's brilliant! hahahahahaha I want to meet Alex. He sounds awesome.

It was possibly the funniest thing I ever saw while in a classroom. Also the most horrible. You should have seen the colour of the bile coming out of the disconnected stomach. It was the kind of luminescent green only the slime from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles has. Horrible stuff.

Once that kid had vomited, it was just too much. It made the stench of 'Mr I can't Aim Away From The Back of My pants' in Vietnam smell like air freshener.
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quick question while the topics hot ..


has anyone EVER had a pleasant suprise when someone has extended two fingers towards your nose and beckoned "Here, smell this" ..

curiosity killed the cat ... why do i still smel it even though i know whats coming ? ..
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I thought of something else. This one time back when I was a young doe-eyed teen I was walking along the beach with a few friends, we were going to a party somewhere. We found a dead blow fish that had been ripening in the sun for god knows how long, so we decided to play soccer with it.

After a while one of my friends got a little too exited and thought it would be a good idea to jump on it. It popped like a water bomb spraying him in foetid fish guts and slimey goo. He then immediately vomited all over himself and fell over. one of my other friends went over to see if he was ok, and upon smelling the stench vomited too. I didn't vomit, but it's still one of the worst smells i can remember. My mate had to throw his clothes out, he could never get rid of the smell no matter how much he washed them.

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bornslippy1984, the stomach was the one thing everyone was always instructed not to tamper with for this very reason, and of course someone in our hsc practical miss juged their cut and made that one particular exam quite difficult to get through.

Worst thing someone did in our school science class was to take one of the hearts we were cutting up and throw it into the airconditioning vent. That foul smell of rotting miselanious meats and clotting blood never left that classroom!

I think half of us came down with the flu over the next few weeks, I always wonderd if it was something to do with the rotting Sheep's organ in the aricon.

Z
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Quote:

Originally Posted by zacmacrackin

bornslippy1984, the stomach was the one thing everyone was always instructed not to tamper with for this very reason

Exactly why Alex chose to cut it open and smear the contents on the desk - he'd been warned not to. Evil fucker.
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Hahamy biology teacher hated me aswell for no apparent reason. She used to write stuff up on the board for us to copy down into our books and then stand infront of it to tell us something.

Always used to piss me off cause she would demand and aswer to why i wasn't copying it down while standing there blocking the board with her big fat arse.

By the way bornslip, i emailed your vietnam story to a friend of mine last night. Funnyest story i've read in ages! Laughed myself to sleep last night

Z
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Absolutely. I cannot remember when i've laughed so hard as I have for all these stories.
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Ok this smell related.

When i was four years old mum was trying to get me onto eating different foods, I'm a realy fussy eater. So she made me this pumpkin dish for dinner.

At the time my brother who was only a baby at the time was realy sick and had Diorea. I was sitting at the kitchen table starting to get into this pumpkin soupy stuff when my mum went and picked up my bro and ran him into the bathroom cause he just let one go.

I was sitting on my own in there in the kitchen when the most foul baby poo smell hit me. Not you normal poo smell but a sick, rotten baby food smell. I turned around to find that his nappy didn't hold it all and a large amount of the contents of his nappy had pooled on the kitchen floor and it had the exact colour and texture as the pumpkin soupy stuff on my plate.

To this day when ever i smell pumpkin or get a taste of it i feel like heaving! Funny how experiences in your childhood can effect your whole life like that.

Z
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Mum and dad have this cat, Sid. It took us abotu 3 years to realise that the fucker was mostly feral... sure he'd let you pat him if he was hungry, but if you didn't keep your eye on him and look for the signs, you'd surely find the **** lockjawed to your hand with his mouth, and his claws 3 cm deep in your forearm.

I don't kick cats, but at times I sure felt like it.

Anyway, part of this feline's feral fucked up personality was to not eat canned food. No he would much rather the stomach of a rat, or the skin of a baby bird. I once found him chewing on the arm of a possum, ripped from th eshoulder socket of the mammals body which lay bloody and dead but 2 metres away. You can imagine with a diet like this, the cat's innards must bea veritable churning couldron of death, decay and straight up wrongness.

So, one rainy night, Mum n Dad are out to dinner with friends. The cat is asleep in the bathroom as we won't let him in any other room in the house, I'm watching a video in the lounge room with my bro. All is well. Before I go to bed, I though to myself "Better just check on the cat"....

There, in the middle of the bathroom, is a mound, a MOUND, of shit. The whole bathroom smelled of poo, like you'd expect, overpowering, but not sickening. I chase the cat out of the house, grab a plastic bag and head back to the bathroom to deal with it's defecation.

So it's not until my hand isinside the bag, grabbing the mound of crap, that 2 things strike me:

1. The crap is yellow. Bright, almost flouro yellow.

2. It's hard, but not formed, so there's not actual sausages of turd, just a porridge of it, much like a cow would make....

um.... yeah it's hard, on the outside. As I break through the crust, the smell escapes, and fills the house like a poisonous yellow gas. The colour of the poo was green on the inside.... like a greeney, yellow sludge.... but the smell. Imagine the stench of dead animal mixed with shit, set on fire and doused with urine, but 100 times worse, and your halfway there.

I vomited on myself. I fell over. smeared shit on the wall. Vomited again.

My brother comes in to see what's going on, starts laughing till the smell hits his nostrils, vomits as well. We both roll out of the bathroom, lock the door, dry reach for a while, and then just lie there.

Death would've been better. I have to spit now just thinking about it.

Horrible.
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Surprised no one has mentioned the girl who took a crap on the terrace at Home nightclub in Sydney? Surely that has to be pretty high up there in the worst smells list...prepare yourself for a night of clubbing with mixing so tight you'll shit yourself

Someone I know copped her literally shitty hand wiping itself on the back of his shirt! Yummers!!
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becy +

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at joots hahaha i can't believe how many combined smell-vomit stories we have!



bout the shitty shirt, yeah wasnt that ummm i cant think of his name on here, but i think i know who you mean.
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jootsie ROFL
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Oh shit jootsie... I had to walk away from the computer to stop myself laughing, and i still have the giggles
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Back in the old country, can't exactly remember which one ...it was a stifling hot day, the sticky kind where the flies become one with your skin and you work yourself up into a sweat infused BO machine simply by looking outside.
The bus was over crowded, air con was not functioning, windows could not be opened and the 1 kilometer per how slowness was too much to bear. I could stop the story right here purely because the combined stench of 45 people on a bus on such a day is pretty close to worst smells, but it gets better.
I am sitting too close to a woman who is on the petite side of elephantine, who is in turn squeezed next to another rather old gentleman. She is obviously feeling the heat as much if not more than the next person because she starts to wave her skirt up and down to circulate some more air.
The old man looks over to her, points to her "special" area and in the deathly, sickly quiet says to her in voice clear enough for most people to hear : "Mam I believe you are supposed to wash that, not air it out!"

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2. The macca's freezer "drip trays"

Maccas have 2 chest meat freezers which sit on either side of the grill to hold the cheese burger and quarter pounder patties. As you can imagine you go through quite a bit of meat in a day and the freezers are being constantly opened and shut. This opening and shutting causes the freezers to thaw just a bit and the resulting liquid is caught in a drip tray underneath.

It is not normal procedure to empty these trays as they dont fill particulary fast and I think the managers/staff forget about them. Its the same as a fridge at home ie the trays for consdensation runoff arent cleaned regulary. Anyway I didnt even know they existed until one night after we'd shut I was asked to clean the tray and I would say there was a good 6 month build up of liquid and mince in it.

I wasnt expecting it to be a foul odour so I pulled out the tray and took it to the sink. The water itself was cloudy white with occasional brown chunks kind of like a bleach spill in a stangant creek. Upon the first pour the smell wafted to my nostrils. It was a very odd sensation. As the liquid was quite cold (almost frozen) it started as a cool rush, just like breathing in at the snow. But milliseconds later the smell of 6 month old fermented meat took an uppercut at my nose. I instantly vomited just a little into the tray, which splashed a little on me. I dropped the tray into the sink and the full extent of the smell exploded like the shockwave of a nuclear bomb. The other workers were literally screaming and gagging (scragging??)

The coolness of it was just weird though and I think thats why I vomited a little. Foul odours are usually hot and steamy. Has anyone else noticed that vomiting near a bad smell is the WORST thing you can do. You have no chance but to breathe deeply as soon as the first purge is up. Like having a spew in a public toilet that someone has not flushed a dump in.
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Another terrible smell story that, despite years of trying to repress it, has come back to me. This one again involves vomit, but only vomit. Not a lot of class involved either.

It was back in High School - as I said in my Biology story, I was not the most attentive student. The idea of studying was pretty laughable, as I assumed that I would coast throught the exams, HSC, University, and pretty much every other challenge thrown at me, through the grace of God and my own natural brilliance. Needless to say, God deserted me (draft-dodging ****), and my supposed natural brilliance failed to manifest itself in the form of high marks. However, it did help me out in situations outside of school.

One of these was during my year 11 exams. Despite not studying, or answering too many of the questions in my History exam, I felt confident that I would get a high mark, and was in the mood to celebrate, despite the fact that I had a maths exam the next day. To do so, I organised a few mates and 3 bricks of vodka, and we all trotted off to a local park for a bit of a drink. When I say a bit, I mean all three bottles were demolished within an hour between 4 people. By the time we drained the last one, I had regressed to the mental state of a three year old, giggling at everything said to me and babbling incoherantly at my friends, random strangers, and some inanimate objects. Apparently a telegraph pole was the object of my affection for quite some time.

Anyway, having started so early, and with the maths exam the next day, we decided to finish early, being the good, responsible students that we were. So at about 3am we wwandered off home. I'm not sure how I got back, but I found myself fumbling with the lock on the back door in no time at all. Once in, I stumbled up to my bedroom and poured myself into bed.

That's where the problems started. I'm used to the room spinning a bit when I get into bed drunk, and I've learned to tolerate it. But this - this was insanity. It was like being on a houseboat in the middle of Hurricane Katrina when a tsunami is heading your way. The bed pitched and tossed violently, as if it was having a seizure. I clung on for dear life, wimpering prayers. Suddenly, I sat up, realising that it was the only way to calm the storm.

I did, and the movement stopped - except in my stomach. I knew what that meant. Mr Smirnoff was about to make an encore. "Alright", I thought "I'll just to go the bathroom."

I got out of bed and put my feet on the floor. Mr Smirnoff made a leap for freedom. "Shit, that was close, maybe I'll just use the window."

Another step.

Shit.

Not gonna make it.

This is where that natural brilliance we were talking about earlier came in. Looking around frantically for a new home for my belly of vodka, I suddenylsaw the perfect new home for it. It couldn't be simpler. Shit, I was impressed with myself.

Falling to my knees, I violently spewed into the bottom of my open wardrobe. After several minutes of this, I sat back, satisfied grin on my face, high-fived myself, and closed the door. I got back into bed, and promptly passed out.

This is where it gets interesting.

The next morning, I was running late, having slept throught the alarm, and mum came in to wake me up. Having done this, she left me to compose myself. Fuck, words can't describe that hangover. Death looked pretty attractive.

After a shower, I came back into my room to get dressed. Opening the cupboard door, the rank stench of vomit and booze and what could have once been a kebab hits me full in the saggy, hungover face. I did what you would have. I threw up again.

"Fuck me, did I do that last night?" Clearly, there was noone else to blame.

I get dressed as quickly as possible, then looked for my shoes.

Oh. Holy. Fuck.

There they were, at the bottom of my wardrobe, covered in stomach acid, bile, and vodka.

I did wha I had to do. I took them downstairs, gave them a clean, and put them on, then rushed to my Maths exam.

Once I got there, I still felt like shit, but thought that if I could make it to the end of the exam without throwing up, I was on easy street. 98%, here I come. The examiner signalled us to start, and all was silent.

I was halfway throught the first question when I smelled something. It wafted up my nostrils, the putrid stench of vomit and booze. I gagged, realising that the smell of last night's excess had not come off my shoes with the chunks. I tried to breathe through my mouth. No dice, I could still smell it, and anyway, everytime I opened the damn thing I smelled like a brewry. No choice. Gotta use the nose.


How I got through it I'll never know. The smell was so pervasive that I couldn't concerntrate. Even the kids next to me were looking at me like a wino. It was obvious that i was sick - I was so pasty and white that I was practically translucent, the bags under my eyes could have been used as hammocks - but I was getting sicker by the minute. The smell wouldn't go away, in fact, I was convinced it was intensifying with every passing minute. I could smell the decaying kebab, the vodka mixed so stupidly with fanta, the endless chain of cigarettes that had passed before me as if on a conveyor belt.

In the end, I guessed the entire last section of the exam. I could't take it. Willing my stomach to hold on for just a few more minutes, I half-jogged up the centre of the exam room, unceremoniously dumped my 'completed' paper on the examiner's desk, and ran towards freedom.

I threw up not 3 seconds after leaving. If I had tried to answer one more question, I would have been in trouble. After emptying my stomach again (where does it all come from?), I vowed never to drink again.

I was on the piss again 2 nights later, but that's not the point.
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Last edited by bornslippy1984: 28-Oct-05 at 09:26am

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^^^Oh, and following on from that, I threw the shoes out. No matter how much I tried to get the smell out, nothing masked it. It was the most putrid thing that has ever come out of my body.
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my god you're a natural genius at these tales.
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ps what did you get for maths?
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Quote:

Originally Posted by becy

ps what did you get for maths?

I failed. Badly. When we got the marks read out, the teacher just read my name, raised an eyebrow just a fraction of an inch, and asked me to see him after class.

At first I thought he was coming onto me.

Compared to the mark i got, having sex with him would have been far less painful.
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homeless guy on packed train during peak hour.. CRUSHED!
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss Jax

I washed my kitten's arse last night.

He may *look* cute.....

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"For mash, get Sashweed"
"Promise her anything, but give her Sashweed!"
"Happiness is Sashweed-shaped!"
"Thank Sashweed it's Friday!"
"Once you pop, you can't stop Sashweed"
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1 Shared a house with three mates in my last year of uni. Had a pretty messy party one night and I let everyone shag in one of the other guy's bed. He was away at the time and his bed was fairly well utilised at various stages throughout the evening. He couldn't fail to notice what had gone on and eventually discovered that I was partially responsible. I thought he took it really well until about a month later when I started noticing an increasingly rank odour coming from somewhere in my room. After another week it had become completely unbearable but I couldn't locate the source. It got so bad that I couldn't sleep in my room and the odour permeated the entire house and indeed could be smelt from the road. On the last day of semester I was packing my gear while trying not to breathe through my nose......I discovered the source of the odour while I was standing on a chair getting something off the top of my wardrobe. A Jumbo size Coke cup from the cinema filled with the most indescribable semi-liquid mass (including a couple of maggots). In my haste to get rid of this vile cup of filth I fell off the chair I was standing on and tipped the entire contents all over myself. The cup had contained milk, yoghurt, raw steak, raw chicken and who knows what the fcuk else. It had been there for about three and a half weeks sweltering in the unairconditioned room during a stinking hot Perth November. The smell was like nothing I have ever experienced before....rotten, sweet, fcuking horrendous. It was so vile I instantly projectile vomited. Almost an hour in the shower and I still couldn't get the smell off me. One of my brothers mate's now lives in the house and that room still stinks in summer, 5 years later.

2 Going around to tidy my parent's house after they had been away for 2 months and I had been having crazy parties every weekend. It was the middle of February and had been roasting hot all summer, There was a slight tang in the air all through the house. I tracked this down to the garage downstairs where there my parents, for some inexplicable reason, kept the biggest fucking chest freezer that money could buy.....filled with almost nothing but meat. It is quite possible there was a whole cow and a couple of sheep in there. Not to mention fish, seafood and fuck knows what else. The circuit breaker had gone off quite some before, possibly the day my parents left, and not having spent any time in the garage I remained oblivious. Once again my stomach failed me and I only added to the fetid stench by introducing the garage floor to the 1.5L of Cabernet Merlot and ton of food I had gorged myself on the night before. The smell was so bad I could not even contemplate cleaning out hundreds of kilos of rancid, rotting animal flesh. It had all turned a very sinister shade of green and was floating in a shallow pool of skank. I got a heap of mates to help me lift the whole freezer onto the back of a ute and dump it off in some vacant lot in dodgy industrial area.

God I can dribble some shit...

Last edited by freqboy: 30-Oct-05 at 09:16am

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hahahhahaha awesome
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the worst thing ive ever smelt is dead bat.
It was hanging dead from the power lines out the front of our house for weeks and my brother and his fuckhead friends chucked rocks at it and made it fall to the ground.
not long after my 2 dogs go out and took the bat around the back and tore it apart. mmmm rotten bat flesh :spew:
Seriously it was so bad we only had to open the back door and it went all through the house. my mum had to call the pet groomers to come and bath the dogs right away!
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When I was 15, we were smoking cones at this chicks house, after a few hours of staring at each other in our emo states, we finally moved on to holding hands and having a cheeky pash, after about an hour or so of dry pashing we stripped each other naked and I went down to give her a little munch... within about 10 seconds, this godaweful smell struck me down like a bolt of shit fired lightning, i nearly threw up all over this poor girl, who in turn also nearly puked cos I nearly did... I have no idea what that smell was, (or even if it was really from her, it could have been something on the couch we were on) but it was a cross between old prawns, cheese, smelly socks and 6 week old not washed vag!

Worse thing is, now I have that smell stuck in my nose again and I almost dry reached at the thought.
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fly me to the moon.
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Fuck that was hilarious slippy. Even my mum got a good chuckle out of it. She thinks you should be a writer.

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Out of every one hundred men, ten shouldn't even be there, eighty are just targets, nine are the real fighters, and we are lucky to have them, for they make the battle. Ah, but the one, one is a warrior, and he will bring the others back.

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Astro-Boy

Fuck that was hilarious slippy. Even my mum got a good chuckle out of it. She thinks you should be a writer.

This isn't about your mum.




Or is it??
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anyone who uses townhall station in sydney frequently will have no doubt seen the skanky old crazy homeless bitch who sits around by the ticket machine most of the day.. the real creepie looking woman with tons of lipstick and the huge dark glasses.. urgh just thinking about her gives me teh shudders.
anyway one day i was waiting outside woolies for my mates to come down the stairs, and shock horror i turned round and there she was.. walking towards me, with her hands outstretched. she'd heard me talking to someone, i think, as she was yelling, nay.. screaming at me something about me having an english sounding accent.. and that she hated the english and the irish ( she sounded french or spanish or something ).
what with the shock, and the sudden realisation that she was actually going to try to grab me, i jumped backwards about a 3 feet and held up my hands to plead mercy. onwards she came, and now she was really livid, proper screaming at me.. and thats when it happened... she opened her foul, lipstick plastered mouth as wide as possible and screeched at the top of her lung.. and bang the smell and saliva hit me square in the face. it was only momentary, but truly unbeleivable, nonetheless.shed spluuered all sorts of sick shit all over me, which got wiped off very fast. by now the station security guard was on his way over.. he got her by the arm and marched her - still yelling - up the stairs and out onto the street. utterly sickening that was, ill never forget the smell of her.

great thread btw, keep em coming..
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