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Best dirty text message you've received

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supa +

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Best dirty text message you've received
Post your texting-sexing messages here *


*word to the mods: if you see fit to close this thread sorry...i thought it was at least worth a try.
17:18:30 legless> people on the internet shouldnt go out with each other, girls should meet men the old fashion way, in the back of a Lancer with 4 other guys and some rope
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R U 4 Sexes Chat? Llololololollllooll

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Originally Posted by Heraclitus

Out of every one hundred men, ten shouldn't even be there, eighty are just targets, nine are the real fighters, and we are lucky to have them, for they make the battle. Ah, but the one, one is a warrior, and he will bring the others back.

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text from my girl: honey, can you do the dishes? they've been piled up in the sink for two days now!


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Come on supa where is yours?


I'll get banned if I post mine
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"Just letting you know that I'm not thinking of burying my tongue in your ass until you beg for my cock"

New years after not seeing my partner 4 two weeks. :blush: We had an ongoing joke of "just letting you know that I'm not thinking of...
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Sadza +

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Oscar winning

txt received 11.01.06 1:37am

make me horny baby, write me, miss your assness, cum .....(too explicit)... hurry up fukdoll
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Where's Busty i reckon he would have a couple of good ones.
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An ex trying to win me back:

"What about if I came over there, poured custard on your dick and then licked it off. Would you still be able to resist me?"

my reply:

"Probably not ... but i hope you choke"
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I got a few last year from a number i didnt even know......... they were dirty photos and they were freaking me out, at first i replied with "errr..... i dont even know who this is, but i have a girlfriend and im not sure she would be cool with this..." and then i got a photo of her fingers pulling her sex lips apart with the text "does this prompt your memory?" hahaha

Apparently i met her on my trip to melbourne TT last year and we swapped numbers for some ungodly reason, anyway, it turns out she had me confused with some other dude she nailed from two tribes...... mwah hahahaha

True story, i still have the photos for shits and giggles
You can't wake a person who is only pretending to be asleep.....
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I wish I got random poon pxts
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From an ex:

"come home, I wanna sleep soon and my period will probably happen tomorrow."

True story.
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Quote:

Originally Posted by TAKEtheBLUEpill

I got a few last year from a number i didnt even know......... they were dirty photos and they were freaking me out, at first i replied with "errr..... i dont even know who this is, but i have a girlfriend and im not sure she would be cool with this..." and then i got a photo of her fingers pulling her sex lips apart with the text "does this prompt your memory?" hahaha

Apparently i met her on my trip to melbourne TT last year and we swapped numbers for some ungodly reason, anyway, it turns out she had me confused with some other dude she nailed from two tribes...... mwah hahahaha

True story, i still have the photos for shits and giggles

Forward please!
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Marzy

An ex trying to win me back:

"What about if I came over there, poured custard on your dick and then licked it off. Would you still be able to resist me?"

my reply:

"Probably not ... but i hope you choke"



i'm not sharing in this thread... I'm really not
its safer for you lot
i take photos
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Breakme

Come on supa where is yours?


I'll get banned if I post mine

ah, com'on... piggiles only got a week for far worse.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tristan View Post

well done sofu, perhaps your most offensive post yet!

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I have been woken up in the night to pics of this thread starters clevage...or lack thereof

<3 you holly!

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hiphop mixing is where its at. 30 second snippets. 100+ tracks an hour. just scratch the shit out of a record between em and smash the cross fader like OJ treats a white girl.

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I got this one from a cute girl:

"Baby....I'm horny and wet, and I want your cock, no I NEED your cock."
KING GRUSO CORPORATION

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Originally Posted by PAdotcom

i dont know why but King seems like the guy when hes 90 years old, hed be racking lines of viagra off hot 21 year old bitches boxes

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i got this the other night from a "friend with benefits"..

"Hey...doesnt look like were going to be having fun this week...i got my periods..unless you want the dolmio grin "
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Quote:

Originally Posted by jootsiejuice

From an ex:

"come home, I wanna sleep soon and my period will probably happen tomorrow."

True story.

Me: I would like to see Audio and Perv hooking up

Chharge :
WORD! Svjetgela
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As I said on another thread I texted my g/f that I was going to do awesome oral sex things to her the second she got to my place......and sent the message to a similarly named woman in the office http://www.inthemix.com.au/forum/new...1&p=389305097#
Embarrassment :blush:

She did take in good humour though, thank God/or... (insert diety of choice, for PC)

Best I ever got was " hope you're full coz you're going to need it all"
:-)
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Edit- ^^ Funny story but your link is for a reply to this thread.


I sent her - Im going out with you tonight but its your shout ok? Im looking really sexy your in for a treat.
She replied- Haha sounds good sweedle. Are you going to fuck my brains out?

And a couple of her thinking of my penis while im at work and it turning her on.
While your body dances your soul travels and remembers, free of...Im off for a piss.
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Sadza

Oscar winning

txt received 11.01.06 1:37am

make me horny baby, write me, miss your assness, cum .....(too explicit)... hurry up fukdoll


you know what... im no longer so embarassed about a certain alleged incident at a certain mutual friends place that you allegedly might have witnessed/overheard

you = bad. shame on you!
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My mate got one from a girl he met in a club and swapped numbers with..

It was a picture text, she had no top on and held a dildo between her very nice boobs... The txt said "This could be your cock, get over here now"
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Geez. They're all pretty unimaginative so far.

I'll take netts's line. Not posting them for quids.

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supa +

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Breakme

Come on supa where is yours?


I'll get banned if I post mine

the sad thing is that i seem to send much dirtier texts than i receive

Quote:

Originally Posted by Morphee

I have been woken up in the night to pics of this thread starters clevage...or lack thereof

<3 you holly!

but i really really needed you to get up and check the whatson for home that night (i was too drunk to use a computer), so i thought a little bribery would help....

to cameraphones and drunken shenanigans
17:18:30 legless> people on the internet shouldnt go out with each other, girls should meet men the old fashion way, in the back of a Lancer with 4 other guys and some rope
mrtimotae +

nothing to see here

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i dont get dirty messages....

maybe i should start sending them to random people in my phone
supa +

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Quote:

Originally Posted by mrtimotae

i dont get dirty messages....

maybe i should start sending them to random people in my phone

im in your phone and im pretty random :blush:
17:18:30 legless> people on the internet shouldnt go out with each other, girls should meet men the old fashion way, in the back of a Lancer with 4 other guys and some rope
mrtimotae +

nothing to see here

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Done....

Well not done yet....

You'll get one though....
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Quote:

Originally Posted by supa

the sad thing is that i seem to send much dirtier texts than i receive

oh.. i had heaps of fun yesterday i msg'd someone and said "You don't wanna know what I had a dream about" and he took the bait hook line and sinker. i then proceeded to make up a DD77 style fantasy sending it to him line by line in text messages all day.. i didn't have any dream, but I thought it would be funny if I did..

Quote:

Originally Posted by N4TE

Yet again, the moral of the story seems to be I'm heaps way more awesomer than you are, or ever will be, or even have the capacity to aspire to be. Sometimes it amazes me my coming wasn't foretold.

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Profiler

oh.. i had heaps of fun yesterday i msg'd someone and said "You don't wanna know what I had a dream about" and he took the bait hook line and sinker. i then proceeded to make up a DD77 style fantasy sending it to him line by line in text messages all day.. i didn't have any dream, but I thought it would be funny if I did..

You should have responded to him after all of his filthy messages with something like:

"No, I dreamt that I won the lotto!"
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umm.. i was the one sending the filthy messages.. :blush:
although.. they were reciprocated appropriately

Quote:

Originally Posted by N4TE

Yet again, the moral of the story seems to be I'm heaps way more awesomer than you are, or ever will be, or even have the capacity to aspire to be. Sometimes it amazes me my coming wasn't foretold.

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I try and delete my dirty messages since my brother decided to go thru em once then tell my mum what he read, good thing he didnt look at my inbox for picture messages, theres some goldness in there!
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Profiler

umm.. i was the one sending the filthy messages.. :blush:
although.. they were reciprocated appropriately

You missed his point

Im not sharing but thats also due ot the fact that mine are fairly unimaginative.
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Quote:

Originally Posted by supa

the sad thing is that i seem to send much dirtier texts than i receive



to cameraphones and drunken shenanigans

Maybe I should pm you my phone number
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Perfection

You missed his point

Im not sharing but thats also due ot the fact that mine are fairly unimaginative.

After reading that I thought I'd better clraify that I meant the ones that people had posted were pretty unimaginative.

I'm not posting on the grounds that I'm just simply not sharing any textual debauchery.

k_x oxo
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I won't share what I got, but I will share my response "sorry I have writers block" .... that kind of killed it
~~~In broad daylight I dream~~~

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Quote:

Originally Posted by krafty_x

Geez. They're all pretty unimaginative so far.

I'll take netts's line. Not posting them for quids.

k_x oxo

soft
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Very

:blush:

k_x oxo
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ammd mtdp amd dtaj md

Unfortunately I was too drunk to decipher it.

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Originally Posted by richmondtigers

His father had a sex change when his mum wanted a kid.

He mutilated his vagina not long afterwards.

To this day it is still in bad shape.

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Quote:

Originally Posted by krafty_x

Very

:blush:

k_x oxo

:blush: guurrls are soft :blush:


..i can't remember any dirty txt action recently.. if i post my moby will someone hook me up??
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depends..

are you hot?

Quote:

Originally Posted by N4TE

Yet again, the moral of the story seems to be I'm heaps way more awesomer than you are, or ever will be, or even have the capacity to aspire to be. Sometimes it amazes me my coming wasn't foretold.

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Profiler

depends..

are you hot?

yes.




seriously.





i am.






supa +

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Profiler

depends..

are you hot?

he is lean mean fighting ninja machine i'm told

Quote:

Originally Posted by hesh

..i can't remember any dirty txt action recently.. if i post my moby will someone hook me up??

i thought you meant your moby dick
17:18:30 legless> people on the internet shouldnt go out with each other, girls should meet men the old fashion way, in the back of a Lancer with 4 other guys and some rope
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You guys are weak... This thread needs more dirty msg and less talk!!!

I got this one the other day...

"I am so horny right now, that I started playing with myself. Do you want to give me a hand?"

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to keep this thread going re the above ^^ had a convo with my ex re double clicking...

i messaged him one morning announcing "i have certainly mastered my technique and the sun shone just that little brighter for me today"....

not really dirty but i thought it had sufficient innuendo...
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I got: 'I wanna move my tounge like a hurrakane on your body'... maybe if he could spell I would have replied.. but since he's annoying I didn't...
supa +

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i like the cheeky ones too...

'Quick! Get to my place immediately there is a strip show at 8.30 and you're the main star '

and

'This message is redeemable for 40minutes of cunnilingus. Offer expires within 24 hours.'
17:18:30 legless> people on the internet shouldnt go out with each other, girls should meet men the old fashion way, in the back of a Lancer with 4 other guys and some rope
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Quote:

Originally Posted by supa


'This message is redeemable for 40minutes of cunnilingus. Offer expires within 24 hours.'

Wish I got a message like that!
Nothing lasts forever..so live it up, drink it down, laugh it off, avoid the bullshit, take chances and never have regrets, because at one point everything you did was exactly what you wanted to do.
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Quote:

Originally Posted by supa


'This message is redeemable for 40minutes of cunnilingus. Offer expires within 24 hours.'

its these types of messages that make me get drive across town at a ridiculous hour in the morning!
~~~In broad daylight I dream~~~

:::You lost that photo album smile:::

...the edge in your affection broke my skin...
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