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Things you should never say to a DJ...

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littlebrains69 +

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^^I have a cool wideboys mix of snoop dogs new song.... don't think thats stooping as low as soulja boy but it can turn a "fuck you carnt play some rnb" into a "ohhhhh yehhhhh he's fully remixing snoop dogg"


(in fact come to think of it - I have a few wideboys remixes in my wallet including some rihanna track)


/reaches for suicide gun
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Quote:

Originally Posted by DJ-Rollon

the worst ones are the punters that stand next to you all knight and just stare at evrything your doing

they dot have to say anything but they just stare and stare and stare

dude, they're just watching you do your thing, admiring how awesome it looks. maybe they're even too shy to talk to you. just appreciate that you've gpot fans and don't be a wang.
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Quote:

Originally Posted by DJ-Rollon

the worst ones are the punters that stand next to you all knight and just stare at evrything your doing

they dot have to say anything but they just stare and stare and stare

yeah thats a real pain in the arse that

maybe they were just astonded by how bad you were playing and were wondering what was going wrong?
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phresh +

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got an awsome one last nite: "show us what you can do"

lesson learned: never play electro if the person before you played half a night of DnB, even if everyone thinks that they want you to.

Last edited by phresh: 19-Apr-08 at 01:38pm

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How about...

Things you should ALWAYS say to a DJ...
1. Can my hot friend & I smoke your pole after your set?
2. I noticed your drink is almost finished, Ill go grab 2 more for you right now...my shout!

Feel free to add to this one! Hahaha
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Quote:

Originally Posted by phresh

lesson learned: never play electro if the person before you played half a night of DnB, even if everyone thinks that they want you to.

I'm surprised you made it out alive!
step on my cubes.
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Quote:

Originally Posted by CHOPPY_INDAHOUSE

IF these girls where hot tell your gf to fuck off its a 3some only ever happens once i used mine already tear* suttle braging

yeah...once
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to a female dj

"NICE set i really enjoyed the music you played too"
People seem to like me because I am polite and I am rarely late. I like to eat ice cream and I really enjoy a nice pair of slacks. Years later, a doctor will tell me that I have an I.Q. of 48 and am what some people call mentally retarded.
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I have heard I think every one of those and hear probably 80% of them every time I play. Damn small coastal venues...
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Bracko

I'm surprised you made it out alive!

luckily it was only a house party, although i did apply the lesson i learned the nite after at an actual event, where the arranged set times ended up being be completely different to what we played.
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Whilst playing at a very chill lounge at about 12pm

Old guy - "Play something we can dance to, trust me I've been in the industry for 25 years"
Me - "Ok what do you suggest"
Old guy - "scissor sisters"
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Quote:

Originally Posted by SeaBas

Whilst playing at a very chill lounge at about 12pm

Old guy - "Play something we can dance to, trust me I've been in the industry for 25 years"
Me - "Ok what do you suggest"
Old guy - "scissor sisters"

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Umm why dont you guys use cd's (when useing vinals)
JUST Chilln
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"can you please play bomfunk mc's, freestyler?"
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Quote:

Originally Posted by trenthalliday

All this talk has me worried....if I am out and a DJ is doing a good job I want to tell them, even more so if I am drunk....so how do you broach the subject without looking like a dick??

Just walk up and go "hey mate this is really cool, everyone is loving it, and I would know because I am a DJ" and point at your chest like a cheesy commercial salesman.....you would look like a tosser....

Have to resist the temptation I think - as hard as it may be. If they see you punching your fists in the air and a big smile on your face they'll already know they're doing a good job (or at least something else is)
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"I'll give you a blow job if you play Daddy Cool" - 49 year old looking skank that looked like a problem drinker and smoker. She could have been 140 or something with that many wrinkles dressing like a teeny boper and when she bent over *feltch*

Was standing in the booth with my mate when this chick said this. I felt ill. Poor bastard drew the short straw for this gig at an old pub and called me in for support. heheheheheheee.
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You just copied exactly the same thread as we had before. Fuck sake mate

http://www.inthemix.com.au/forum/sho...d.php?t=218620
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Quote:

Originally Posted by dankdj

*feltch*



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Best Request Ive Ever Had...

Got this one in Margaret River WA just after New years...in the middle of a breakbeat set at one of the local pubs from a local mullet wielding drunk.

"Can you play some Negro slash White with some wiggy wiggy over the top?"

I still to this day have no idea what the hell he meant...

Eminem? with scratching?

or like a WIG wearin cock rock 80s band with members of both Caucasion and African-American descent?

Regardless... I had a laugh
AKA Travis Da TRAKTOR

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Carlos_Jimenez

You just copied exactly the same thread as we had before. Fuck sake mate

http://www.inthemix.com.au/forum/sho...d.php?t=218620

Keep your pants on mate...I actually took it from facebook...like the original person that started the old thread which I didn't realise was there...

And if you still don't like it...put on some lipstick...I like to know who's kissing my ass at the end of the day!!!
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had a corker the other weekend; final track of the Dnb DJ before me, bout to start playing hard trance at a rave.

random girl: "do you have groove armada - i see you baby?"
me: "na sorry i would if i could but i dont so i cant" *holds back laughter*
random girl: "ive got 8 girl friends that will dance to it if you play it"
me: "sorry i dont have it."
random girl: "awww. come dance with me?"
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Some guy approached me at a 250+ bday gig last Saturday. "I know this is gonna work, play 1 R&B song then 1 Dance Song then R&B again do you think you can do that?" Hence i replied"Get off my stage..."
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I had a girl ask me last week while I was playing Kaskade - 4AM (Adam K + Soha Remix)
'I love this song but havent been able to find the name of it - whats it called?'

I could have kissed her.................
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Carlos_Jimenez

You just copied exactly the same thread as we had before. Fuck sake mate

http://www.inthemix.com.au/forum/sho...d.php?t=218620

This one's funnier
BigJC +

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anyone had some drunk / angry / both person literally try to fuck with the dials or have a crack at scratching on the active table mid gig?
phresh +

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^ yeah ive had drunks purposely & relentlessly nudge the platter mid transition. if its at a house party i usually pack up & leave at that point.
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Quote:

Originally Posted by phresh

^ yeah ive had drunks purposely & relentlessly nudge the platter mid transition. if its at a house party i usually pack up & leave at that point.

ya gotta love it when some drunk cvnt who puts there drink in the wrong spot and just wont listen to ya, they all like "Yeah i know its there mate its fine"
stop the current turnnie or CDJ "take the drink dickhead" everyones like wtf? then like 5-10 ppl drag him/her away
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(While playing some breakcore or whatever...)

"Do you have any Architecture in Helsinki..?"

What. The. Fuck.
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haha my mate told me about his venture to Subbies a couple of months back,
went inside, seen lasers and shuffling and was like WTF
went upstairs and was pretty much the same shit, went up to the DJ and asked,
"ARE YOU GONNA PLAY ANY RNB?"
the DJ clicked it started going off at him flipping him the bird n that...
the promoter stepped in and asked wtf is going on
DJ told him the situation and the promotor goes " are you fucking serious this is such and such from melbourne!?!"
haha i lol'd bigtime when i heard this....what a gronk!
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Quote:

Originally Posted by needaride

haha my mate told me about his venture to Subbies a couple of months back,
went inside, seen lasers and shuffling and was like WTF
went upstairs and was pretty much the same shit, went up to the DJ and asked,
"ARE YOU GONNA PLAY ANY RNB?"
the DJ clicked it started going off at him flipping him the bird n that...
the promoter stepped in and asked wtf is going on
DJ told him the situation and the promotor goes " are you fucking serious this is such and such from melbourne!?!"
haha i lol'd bigtime when i heard this....what a gronk!

well i cant blame the punter as it is supposed to be rnb/urban up at the terrace on friday nights.....so no wonder he asked....
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I had a corker last Saturday - it was pretty early in the night so I was playing the lighter, fluffy stuff - No Halo - Put Your Hands On - which is about the girliest funky house track I had.

Two random young girls come up looking concerned and want a word
Girls - 'Are you going to play this trance music all night? Can you play something funky?'
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Doing a chicks 30th, girl comes up and says angrily "Can you play something from OUR generation?" I am 31. Not quite sure what she meant, as I was playing relatively new commerical and house and "MOS" as I was requested to play.

Same venue, another ocassion, guy hands my GF a note and says "Can you pass this onto the DJ". My GF comes over, hands me the note and it reads "Chisel or Dragon please". I had a bit of a lol behind the decks.

Last edited by Mad Rooster: 20-Aug-08 at 01:59pm

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yeah almost had a scrap at a house party
everytime i started bring in the next track this tool kept hitting cue and stopping it
then proceeding to tell me after i told him where to go
him: "give a goo cmon"
me: "nah man, im havin a ball on MY decks chill out."
him: "its called sharing u fuckhead"
me: "its called ive never even seen u before and im not gonna let u use my gear alright"
followed by him grabbing me round the collar and going mental at me
then me almost pushing him down the stairs.
awesome!
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one of my old regular gigs I knew the barstaff quite well so would get really toasted each time i played, which over a 4 hr set would see me putting a long track on and heading to the toilet to relieve myself a few times

so so many times i would be mid piss and hear the track i was playing start scratching , run back to the decks to see some dipshit scratching with his mates standing around cheering him on

one time i cracked the sh*ts hard as the dude wouldnt move, so i grabbed him by the throat and escorted him out the door still holding him by the throat and threw him at the bouncers who wouldnt let him back in

he didnt think he was topsh*t anymore

and using serato I wish i had a dollar for everytime i have heard "thats cheating", its one of the reasons i sold it and went back to using my vinyl and cd's
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Quote:

Originally Posted by BigJC

anyone had some drunk / angry / both person literally try to fuck with the dials or have a crack at scratching on the active table mid gig?

Yes.

In around 2002 I used to play an early Friday evening set at a cafe. The decks were set up right at the front of the cafe on a very public pedestrian mall. I used to get a few people stop and watch, but one Friday night took the cake.

I'd just finished a mix and was returning the old record to my record bag behind me, and searching for a new one. With my back turned to the decks, I heard this almighty screech on the record that was playing and then heard silence - a drunken loon had lifted the record THAT WAS PLAYING off the turntable and run up the mall with it!

The owner of the cafe was out first and chasing him up the mall, I managed to put another record on, jump the decks and take off in pursuit. 3/4 of the way up the mall the cafe owner executed a perfect diving tackle that any defensive winger would have been proud of, and brought the record thief to the ground, record still in hand. For full effect I jumped in on him as well, he struggled profusely, then managed to go very still. He was pretty out of it, I felt a bit sorry for him.

Thankfully the police beat was just down the mall, the boys in blue by this time had made it halfway up the mall and were a bit amused by it, they started askign me if I wanted to be compensated for damage to my record. I realised the record in question was a white label that I had another label copy of as well, so it didn't really matter.

Moral of the story:
1) 40+ year old cafe owners still have very quick legs when it comes to running down record thieves;
2) Always have a barrier between you and the crowd.
Dec 29 - Subtrakt feat. H.O.S.H @ Bar Soma
Jan 26 - Claude Von Stroke @ Skyroom
Feb - Soul Clap, Huxley and...

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Tha Gooch +

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^^ yeah its happened to me an unfortunate no. of times, not only when i was in the toilet but also when i am standing right there some dipsh*t just walks up and starts scratching with the record thats actually playing

i still to this day dont understand what goes through these peoples minds when they do this
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Tha Gooch

^^ yeah its happened to me an unfortunate no. of times, not only when i was in the toilet but also when i am standing right there some dipsh*t just walks up and starts scratching with the record thats actually playing

i still to this day dont understand what goes through these peoples minds when they do this

It's that god awful KFC ad where the dude gets the KFC product in one hand and walks up and scratches the record with the other. Lose.
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Cosmo Cater

It's that god awful KFC ad where the dude gets the KFC product in one hand and walks up and scratches the record with the other. Lose.

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Cosmo Cater

It's that god awful KFC ad where the dude gets the KFC product in one hand and walks up and scratches the record with the other. Lose.

Yeah real DJs know it only works if you're holding the advertised KFC product while scratching - like the guy in the ad
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ohh fuck that guy

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eros le Tardfack

I'm a faggot

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If people are drunk enough to be coming up and grabbing your records, at least it means you probably had a good party vibe going on !

But yeah,

One of my good mates was really drunk one night, and he would come up to the decks usually in the breakdown of a song (thats when he though i was least busy) and proceed to touch shit and have a good ol chat,

so hard to, re-cue a record, beatmatch, then EQ and drop whilst trying to entertain a conversation lol
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Quote:

Originally Posted by DJ_Ange

oh djs love being told they are good ... don't be worried about that

I definitely appreciate it when people come over and say hi but the fine line between talking and giving a dj enough space to do what they are paid to be doing is always crossed. It can't be helped. People don't mean it but 95% of the time people who come up and say hi tend not to know when it's also time to leave the dj alone too hahaha

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yeah but secretly you all love it

"just smile and wave"
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"What type of music is this?"

"drum and bass"

"oh thats cool, can you play tarantula?"

Then i just tease it in, or play the intro then drop in something else muhahaha

nothing better than seeing someone on the dancefloor with their first exposure to dnb, THEY GO MENTAL !
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Gold thread-I lol'd

I've had numerous instances of people falling into the decks and knocking the needle off the record...One of the reasons I pretty much dont play vinyl out anymore (And ppl are a lot loss likely to try and scratch a cdj platter-lol).

Actualy I dont mind it when ppl come and say hi (as long as they dont try and interupt you while your mixing or are dickheads). I love playing requests (when they will work with the music I'm playing) as I remember how sick it was when I was a young munter and the dj played the choon I asked him for. Used to make my night
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Cosmo Cater

2) Always have a barrier between you and the crowd.

probably the best advice i've heard this whole thread.

Quote:

Originally Posted by kzzy View Post

The music that I push in my opinion is probably a bit too mature for someone who listens to "Trance" but hey, we all have to start somewhere?

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Quote:

Originally Posted by mcdoofus

Yeah real DJs know it only works if you're holding the advertised KFC product while scratching - like the guy in the ad

that faggot.

wasn't even using the crossfader
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i've got a couple of good stories.

once had a glassy who was kind of a mate who came into the dj booth while i was playing, and while i was searching for the next tune to play he decided it would be a good idea to pick up the needle on the empty turntable and place it on the SLIPMAT and start to scratch away. needless to say it ripped the needle straight out of the headshell, and i promptly kicked him outta the booth, saying something like "you fucking idiot!".

another slightly more worrying incident from a few years back... i'd just climbed down from the dj booth (there was a ladder you had to climb to get up or down from the booth), and upon reaching the bottom of the ladder this dude's just come out of the crowd, grabbed my shirt and pushed me against the wall yelling "you got a fucken problem with me" (or something like that, this is back in 2004 so the memory's a little fuzzy), then started to pull me back towards him, which was a mistake on his part since i siezed my opportunity and let go of a pearler of a right hook straight into the side of this dude's face which knocked him to the floor where he was swarmed by about 4 bouncers and carried out of the venue. best part was i got to review my handiwork on the security cameras and even got a bit of a compliment from the head of security for the way i knocked this guy. worst part was i had to play out the rest of my slot with my shirt almost ripped in two..

to this day i'm not sure what triggered that incident, i can only guess he wasn't happy that maybe i'd not played a request or somethng like that.

oh yeah and: "can you stop playing this TECHNO shit?" when i'm playing breaks / electro (or even house, etc). it's like, "do you even know what techno is??"

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Quote:

Originally Posted by WADZA


"do you even know what techno is??"


ooo i want to say this to soooooooooooooooooooo many people.. including my mates.
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