The DJ Booth

Things you should never say to a DJ...

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Quote:

Originally Posted by WADZA

"can you stop playing this TECHNO shit?"

I really hate it when ppl say that to me.

anything with a 4/4 kick and some sort of electronic synth playing in repetition with no vocals is considered techno by so many people.

ppl that consume disposable music mass produced and told that they have to like it.
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i also had this "put on this CD (i think it was the one love cd or something), they'll dance for hours"

or "can you mix snoop dogg with some hair metal?" wat the hell.
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Hmm, wasn't said to the DJ, but a friend of mine at a gig said to me that it sounded like the DJ was playing "Ministry of Shit"... not 5 minutes later, I'm up in the booth taking photo's, and what do I see beside the decks?? MoS:The Annual 2009!
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Some girl came up to me whilst playing one night and asked if she could put her ipod on........
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I had a bloke come up to me last week and was disappointed I didn't have a song he wanted me to play. He saw my laptop recording the night and asked if I could 'Limewire it'

"Absolutely not. Not only am I running a Mac, I don't have a wireless internet connection and it's illegal."

"Oh thats ok, let me run down to my car and loan you my NextG stick"

Grrrrrrrrrr.
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last week i had a guy come up to me and ask to play a song, a song id never heard of and he replied with "well clearly you're not a real dj are you"

ohh of course, i'm sorry every dj has heard/has every song available....

douche..

Quote:

Originally Posted by littlebrains69

Scratching on CDJ's is like driving a skyline - you think it's cool, but ultimately you're just a retard.

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Quote:

Originally Posted by WADZA

i've got a couple of good stories.

once had a glassy who was kind of a mate who came into the dj booth while i was playing, and while i was searching for the next tune to play he decided it would be a good idea to pick up the needle on the empty turntable and place it on the SLIPMAT and start to scratch away. needless to say it ripped the needle straight out of the headshell, and i promptly kicked him outta the booth, saying something like "you fucking idiot!".

Yeah, saw the same thing happen at mates house one morning...drunken dude trying to scracth/look like a mad **** = destroyed cartridge.
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jesus CHrist


get some warning signs and razor wire walls
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Bumpy

Some girl came up to me whilst playing one night and asked if she could put her ipod on........

The correct answer is that the I-pod plugs into your dick
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^^

LOl she also said she liked the song i was playing but not the versions....
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Bumpy

^^

LOl she also said she liked the song i was playing but not the versions....

what the fuck is wrong with people
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Last night I was out at Rubix in Perth and the DJ there was very cool with us annoying him, didn't mind that I was watching everything he was doing. And when my girlfriend asked him what remix of some top 40 choon that he just played was he, gave her the CD with the song on it - straight out of his wallet. After which I asked him if he could abuse the flanger (just for shits and giggles) which he also did. Was well impressed, and made my girl's night. She wouldn't even let me touch the CD and insited waving it around in the air at Shape afterwards - I even think an ITM photographer got a snap of it.
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you asked a dj to use the flanger? :O
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Bumpy

you asked a dj to use the flanger? :O

Haha yeah I wanted to see if he'd actually do it
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Quote:

Originally Posted by seanious

Last night I was out at Rubix in Perth and the DJ there was very cool with us annoying him, didn't mind that I was watching everything he was doing. And when my girlfriend asked him what remix of some top 40 choon that he just played was he, gave her the CD with the song on it - straight out of his wallet. After which I asked him if he could abuse the flanger (just for shits and giggles) which he also did. Was well impressed, and made my girl's night. She wouldn't even let me touch the CD and insited waving it around in the air at Shape afterwards - I even think an ITM photographer got a snap of it.

I wondered what the story was with that CD...

Last edited by bussyboy: 01-Feb-09 at 06:39pm

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WOW i have a cd just like that :O
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Quote:

Originally Posted by seanious

Haha yeah I wanted to see if he'd actually do it

teh lolz
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was it dj flang-dogg?

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Do you want me to send you my blurry photo of you Bussyboy? ROFL
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Some drunk chick didn't like the music I was playing because "HUUUR IT DOSN'T HAVE WORDS" so what does she do, presses eject on the build up of Carte Blanch, that pretty much sealed the deal with that terrible night for me (Drinks and food spilled in my CD case by drunk fucks, other drunk people reaching over while I wasn't watching and trying to "Scratch") I just walked away from the decks and packed up.
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Kiron

Some drunk chick didn't like the music I was playing because "HUUUR IT DOSN'T HAVE WORDS" so what does she do, presses eject on the build up of Carte Blanch, that pretty much sealed the deal with that terrible night for me (Drinks and food spilled in my CD case by drunk fucks, other drunk people reaching over while I wasn't watching and trying to "Scratch") I just walked away from the decks and packed up.

Shit where was that?
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ive had countless ppl bluetooth shit from their phone to mine... u realise its a horribly cut up 64 kbps downloaded copy, so then u just break it to them gently that its not compatible with ur equipment. case closed. speak technical like and they dont have a leg to stand on...
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"is it alright if i put my beer down and take a photo with us"

being 20 year old hot girls i said yes and silly me they put their beer down on my cdj800 n it went EVERYWHERE! music stopped for a few mins but cleaned it and restarted it and all was good
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similar to the thread....i saw a patron put their hallf finished beer on top of the wheel on a cdj1000 a few nights ago. wtf!
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yes all of the above are so common

21st brithday scenario

hey play one more track ONE MORE
ME - hey all done matey finish at 2 am (time 2-10)
play more come on one more
ME i just played one more from the last song finished - ignore and start to pack down equip
your shit mate your crap ^%$@ dj
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yep
yes all of the above are so common

21st brithday scenario

hey play one more track ONE MORE
ME - hey all done matey finish at 2 am (time 2-10)
play more come on one more
ME i just played one more from the last song finished - ignore and start to pack down equip
your shit mate your crap ^%$@ dj
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Living and Djing on the Central Coast iv'e had them all.

including:

1) Being punched in the face by a chick as i didnt have any INXS = knocked me clean out mid mix
2) Hen's night throwing a whole glass of wine over MY CDJ1000 = hen's nights are evil around dj booths definately the one thing i cringe when see stumble through the door.
3) a bit like what Ange said up n' comer on before me asking to play one more track 20 times in a row, in the end i had to physically remove him... Or hanging around asking to go back to back... FUCK OFF... You've had your chance. i respected your set now you respect mine.

The best a hens night came up mid set to a packed dance floor and started scratching the cdj she wouldnt stop so i took off the headphones handed them to her and went to the bar for a drink, announcing "we have a new Dj"

When the music eventually went off, and she was stood there looking like a knob infront of a packed dancefloor, she shat herself, and sent a friend over to apologise.

I also had a pissed women who lost her handbag and demanded at 1am to a packed dancefloor, turn the music off and get the lights up everyone needs to start looking for my handbag....
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^^Jesus christ! You got punched?
I cant believe how stupid some ppl can be when they're smashed...how the fuck could you let yourself be such a trashbag?
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I remember in that Children of Ibiza doco where someone came up to J00F who was behind the decks and demanded that he served this person a drink, J00F was like "Uh this is the DJ booth, the bar is over there" but the munted guy didn't understand and they got into a fight.
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Geez Ive had a few gems!


Once a trashed chick came up and asked for some horrendous song I didnt have - I politely declined and she said 'if you play it Ill take you downstairs and into the toilets and show you my tits'. She really put the ass in class.
Unfortunately she was, ahh, barking up the wrong tree if you know what i mean.

Arrived at a gig at a cocktail bar to find the end of an Asian 21st who had brought their own DJs and were pumping out hardstyle at 10pm. To go from that to funky house wasnt very smooth.

Trashed Asian chick came up and asked for 'Toca Miracle?' (Not Toca's Miracle, Toca Miracle - think about the accent). I said 'umm, that was the last song I played'. She said 'No it wasnt'. I said 'Im not going to play your request if you arent even listening to what Im playing!' All he had to say to that was 'pray mah sohng??'

Was playing at a dive of a gay club and a woman comes up to me and asks for 'Basshunter' (aka the definition of eurotrash). Didn't have it, politely told her - the tears start welling up in her eyes and she pleads 'tonight is my 21st, please, it will make my night'. My reply was 'why the hell are you having your 21st at a dump like this?'. That didnt exactly make her tears go away.

Was playing No Halo - 'Put Your Hands On', probably the funkiest, girliest handbag house track I have and two girls looking furious come up and demand 'are you going to play this trance music all night? Can you play something funky?' My reply about their knowledge of dance music was fairly curt.

Played a horrible, horrible 21st out in the country for free for a mate and after having drunken aunties scream 'ABBA!! Chisel!!' as they swung past me on the dancefloor, the mordibly obese Uncle, (who had been the MC during the speeches and had barked at those waiting to do their speech to 'get me a beer willya son?') comes right up next to me and starts flipping through my CD wallet looking for something 'us oldies can dance to'. I was horrified. Haven't done a free gig for a mate since.
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/methinks a few of you should maybe try and be just a little bit more discerning about where you decide to play.

Do not play for people that don't deserve it, ever.
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where abouts in the central coast do you play wins?

oh and like i've seen people write track names on their phones and show it to the dj, like full on aye!
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Just_Me

oh and like i've seen people write track names on their phones and show it to the dj, like full on aye!

Yeah, I hate that... 'sif I can read the munted writing on your phone in the pitch dark of the dj booth
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[quote=Ben Royal]

Quote:

Was playing at a dive of a gay club and a woman comes up to me and asks for 'Basshunter' (aka the definition of eurotrash). Didn't have it, politely told her - the tears start welling up in her eyes and she pleads 'tonight is my 21st, please, it will make my night'. My reply was 'why the hell are you having your 21st at a dump like this?'. That didnt exactly make her tears go away.

Bah you should of played "REAL" Basshunter, the original swedish versions of the songs which are about Video games and Internet forums

Now You're Gone = Botten Anna (A song about an internet bot that bans everyone from her chatroom, it turns out to just be a moderater that is a complete bitch and has no sense of humour)

Quote:

Was playing No Halo - 'Put Your Hands On', probably the funkiest, girliest handbag house track I have and two girls looking furious come up and demand 'are you going to play this trance music all night? Can you play something funky?' My reply about their knowledge of dance music was fairly curt.

When people ask for "Funky" stuff, put on Jizz in my pants by The Lonely Island, see the girls lose it, get your camera ready, wait for the chorus, take photos of said girls faces when chorus comes on.

Quote:

Played a horrible, horrible 21st out in the country for free for a mate and after having drunken aunties scream 'ABBA!! Chisel!!' as they swung past me on the dancefloor, the mordibly obese Uncle, (who had been the MC during the speeches and had barked at those waiting to do their speech to 'get me a beer willya son?') comes right up next to me and starts flipping through my CD wallet looking for something 'us oldies can dance to'. I was horrified. Haven't done a free gig for a mate since.

Yep, Never doing a houseparty again unless I can be guaranteed I and my decks will be left alone and any damage that occurs to my gear or CD's will be payed for by the person hosting the party.

I have had good requests though, once someone asked me for rapture (john creamer and stephane k remix), best request evar.
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Once had this Indian guy approach the booth & hum out tunes for me which I replied "Sorry man don't have them" then he said "Can you play some Bob Sinclar". To be nice and wishing he would fark off I said "I'll put some on lata" after 2 tracks he comes back and goes "Bob Sinclar, Bob Sinclar, Bob Sinclar" So I told him to relax it will come on later. He walks back on the dancefloor infront of the booth and starts giving me the finger. He came up again but I told security to keep him away.

Same thing this time Indian girl "Can you play Exacilbur?" "Umm sorry don't have that" So she starts screaming "EXCALIBUR" so I just ignored and got back to mixing. 2 tracks later With my headphones on I hear this screaming and hitting othe door of the booth "EXCALIBUR!!!!!!!!!". I just ignored her till she fucked off & it took a while.

Also requests for Presets, Benassi or "Put Your Hands Up For Detroit" within the first 10 minutes of a warm up set.
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^^ similar story of mine; at an event in new farm, down on the river late last year, here i am ripping up a breaks set, this indian dude comes up and asks for hotel california, my response - 'sorry dude i don't have it with me'. guy walks off.

about 10mins later the same dude comes up and *slaps his ass* and says 'play some shakira!!'

as funny as it was harmless, it's still a case of.. 'listen to what im playing, remember my response to your last request... do you really think i am going to have shakira in my collection?'

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I got asked to drop some...

"NEGRO SLASH WHITE WITH SOME WIGGY WIGGY OVER THE TOP"

was the best request ever...

Funny dumb requests are acceptable...

DUMB GENERIC requests are punishable
AKA Travis Da TRAKTOR

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Quote:

Originally Posted by TravGTi

I got asked to drop some...

"NEGRO SLASH WHITE WITH SOME WIGGY WIGGY OVER THE TOP"

was the best request ever...

I swear people are just coming up to DJ's and saying this now, its like some new meme.
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sc2 sc2 sc2 sc2 sc2 sc2 sc2 sc2 sc2

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Kiron

I swear people are just coming up to DJ's and saying this now, its like some new meme.

Our maybes its some secret ploy by the same person trying to match DJs to their aliases on ITM in an attempt to kill us all!
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got any Deadmou5e?
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Is it alright to ask the name of a song or do you DJ's dislike that?
seanious +

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Romie

Is it alright to ask the name of a song or do you DJ's dislike that?

As long as people don't bother me while I'm mid mix I'm usually all ears. Just don't be a douche
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Quote:

Originally Posted by seanious

As long as people don't bother me while I'm mid mix I'm usually all ears. Just don't be a douche

Something like "hey mate nice set, really like this song, what is it?" good enough?
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^^^I've never been rude to someone that's asked like that and am more than happy to tell them. It's just generally when people tell you what to play or something similar that I get angry.
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Tha Gooch

got any Deadmou5e?

or got any Deadmau-Five?
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Quote:

Originally Posted by TravGTi

I got asked to drop some...

"NEGRO SLASH WHITE WITH SOME WIGGY WIGGY OVER THE TOP"

was the best request ever...

Funny dumb requests are acceptable...

DUMB GENERIC requests are punishable


Maybe they wanted some old skool

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1. "Do you have any electro pop with edge like what Natalie Bassingwaigthe said?"

2. "Can you play some Tiesto?"

3. "Can you slow it down, I'm getting a headache."

4. "Can my mate MC, he's fully sick."

5. "Do you have any Vengaboys?"

6. "I don't really like this music, but do you have a demo CD?"

7. "I wish my girlfriend was here, but your music makes her makeup run."

8. "You know that track Nik Fish plays, do you have that?"

9. "When are you playing at Family?"

10. "Hey remember me, I went to ---------- in 1998, play that track you used to play."

11. "I've had some pills, can you play some trance....."

12. "DJ's shouldn't drink, they should only do drugs."

13. "The only reason why you play in a small room is coz your music is shit."

14. "When are you playing Potbellez?"

15. "Real djs use CDs."

16. "Hey i won the Central Station DJ competition, why are you playing this shit, I could do a better job then you!"

17. "How do you dance to this music?"

18. "You can't mix for shit."
"All things change in a dynamic environment"

"What has been the biggest high of my career? I was going to say the first time I got presented with two turntables, but change that to the five times I went to Australia. It's brilliant there, great atmosphere at all their parties and a beautiful country besides." - DJ Buzz Fuzz

"Freedom Is A Road Seldom Travelled By The Multitude."

Last edited by SonicDistortion: 22-Feb-09 at 01:55am

The_Architect +

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people can really fuck you off at times, I do allot of house partys and by god do you get some idiots, the amount of people that love to use your speakers and desk as a fucking bar that shits me, did this one gig and I had people asking me for neil diamond, the stones like wtf are you for real, then people who come up and TOUCH your gear, start fucking with the faders and pitch bend grrrrrrrr. I know pay a mate to come along and act as my security. This one time I did a gig and the host (who was also paying me) made me stop mid mix to announce his wifes birthday, then throught the night he kept making me stop mid track and change to another...my god I could go for hours...

Sam
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