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Things you should never say to a DJ...

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white people are the worst

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People are idiots and when you combine alcohol and drugs the effects of idiocy increase exponentially.
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last night played a party for my sisters friend, this chick kept asking for shit songs so i just used the "if jess wanted a jukebox for her party, she woulda got one, so ill be choosing the songs" she didnt get it for ages and then was like oh.. and walked off haha
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^ Well played!
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Have had a shitload of the usual stupid comments - most have already been posted.
Few personal ones that stand out for me...

Whilst playing a down tempo prog breaks set in a sideroom at a trance event, some munted bogan comes up to the DJ console and asks "Can you play some banging NRG shit?..." when i said no and directed him to the main room he then asked "do you have anything off the yellow hard NRG cd?".

Playing an electro house set at this really commercial wanky club (dont ask, the money was good), a really drunk guy comes up and starts telling me what to play next. Starts sifting through my CD wallet and record bag picking tunes out. I asked him to step back and he gets up really close to me and asks "do you know who i am?", to which he then informs me that he's a producer named 'Tonight Only' and is scouting out a new DJ for a mix CD he's doing. He then continued to hit cue on the CDJ that was playing, stopped the music and started yelling at the crowd. The bouncers quickly kicked him out while he kept yelling shit about being 'Tonight Only' and threatening to have everyone fired. Was quite amusing!
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WaRz0r +

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haha
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Untoten

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Isn't that Tonite Only fellow Sam La More?
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Quote:

Originally Posted by samwiseb

Isn't that Tonite Only fellow Sam La More?

yeh it is

if it is him
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JimmyJams

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Or Groove Terminator.....
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had this munted chick come up to me on friday night and ask
"are you the DJ?"
hmmmm
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Quote:

Originally Posted by winstonuk

Living and Djing on the Central Coast iv'e had them all.

including:

1) Being punched in the face by a chick as i didnt have any INXS = knocked me clean out mid mix
2) Hen's night throwing a whole glass of wine over MY CDJ1000 = hen's nights are evil around dj booths definately the one thing i cringe when see stumble through the door.
3) a bit like what Ange said up n' comer on before me asking to play one more track 20 times in a row, in the end i had to physically remove him... Or hanging around asking to go back to back... FUCK OFF... You've had your chance. i respected your set now you respect mine.

The best a hens night came up mid set to a packed dance floor and started scratching the cdj she wouldnt stop so i took off the headphones handed them to her and went to the bar for a drink, announcing "we have a new Dj"

When the music eventually went off, and she was stood there looking like a knob infront of a packed dancefloor, she shat herself, and sent a friend over to apologise.

I also had a pissed women who lost her handbag and demanded at 1am to a packed dancefloor, turn the music off and get the lights up everyone needs to start looking for my handbag....

Sounds like a typical night out on the coast, where do you play at mate?
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someone posted this picture on another forum. perfectly encapsulates the worst kind of requester.

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If I ever DJ out, I'm gonna setup one way glass around the booth. Or carry a shotgun
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Quote:

Originally Posted by TheReturn

someone posted this picture on another forum. perfectly encapsulates the worst kind of requester.


If he is spinning vinyl.. NO he will NOT have a copy of the summer of '69
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hehehe i love it how people assume you can hear them when you have your cans on
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Quote:

Originally Posted by winstonuk

Living and Djing on the Central Coast iv'e had them all.

including:

1) Being punched in the face by a chick as i didnt have any INXS = knocked me clean out mid mix
2) Hen's night throwing a whole glass of wine over MY CDJ1000 = hen's nights are evil around dj booths definately the one thing i cringe when see stumble through the door.
3) a bit like what Ange said up n' comer on before me asking to play one more track 20 times in a row, in the end i had to physically remove him... Or hanging around asking to go back to back... FUCK OFF... You've had your chance. i respected your set now you respect mine.

The best a hens night came up mid set to a packed dance floor and started scratching the cdj she wouldnt stop so i took off the headphones handed them to her and went to the bar for a drink, announcing "we have a new Dj"

When the music eventually went off, and she was stood there looking like a knob infront of a packed dancefloor, she shat herself, and sent a friend over to apologise.

I also had a pissed women who lost her handbag and demanded at 1am to a packed dancefloor, turn the music off and get the lights up everyone needs to start looking for my handbag....



BAHAHHA Man that is hillarious. It is f*%ked up but so funny. Can't believe the chick knocked you out mid mix because you didn't have INXS.

That is one for the grandkids.
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I dont play out at clubs but I would imagine being asked to play Akon Sexy Bitch would be up there with one of the most annoying requests at the moment??
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Teenos

The best a hens night came up mid set to a packed dance floor and started scratching the cdj she wouldnt stop so i took off the headphones handed them to her and went to the bar for a drink, announcing "we have a new Dj"

When the music eventually went off, and she was stood there looking like a knob infront of a packed dancefloor, she shat herself, and sent a friend over to apologise.


BEST! Well done!
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Simon_Murphy +

H@cked.

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Quote:

Originally Posted by TheReturn

someone posted this picture on another forum. perfectly encapsulates the worst kind of requester.

QFT!!
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Quote:

Originally Posted by mmc_79

hehehe i love it how people assume you can hear them when you have your cans on

this always makes me laugh...
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kjsdbf

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Teenos

I dont play out at clubs but I would imagine being asked to play Akon Sexy Bitch would be up there with one of the most annoying requests at the moment??

Generally I'll make sure I've bought / made a remix / mashup or two of the latest commercial trash, So I don't have to feel as if I want to puke when I play them.
*shudders


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Originally Posted by mosesperoni

I use the people that hate me as a measure of my own performance as a human, if they're shit ****s then I'm on the right track.

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i had a munter come up to me at a warehouse party a couple of weeks back and ask if i could play some songs...
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Any particular songs, or just "some songs"? :ol:
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just "some songs" - obviously didn't get the music i was playing
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I once had this chick come into the bar 3 weeks straight and just sit in front of the booth and stare at me for the whole set. I think she had mental issues because when i tried to take her home for a ravishing she wouldn't respond, she would just continue to gaze at me.
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imagine how much worse it's going to get when cdj2000s are everywhere.

all someone has to bring is a usb drive.

"can you play <insert shit song>?"
"Sorry dont have it."
"i've got it here."
"still no fuck off."

"hey mate i'm a dj, wanna play b2b, i've got all my songs with me."

fuck you pioneer
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Quote:

Originally Posted by mashedman

imagine how much worse it's going to get when cdj2000s are everywhere.

all someone has to bring is a usb drive.

"can you play <insert shit song>?"
"Sorry dont have it."
"i've got it here."
"still no fuck off."

"hey mate i'm a dj, wanna play b2b, i've got all my songs with me."

fuck you pioneer

Oh god i didnt even think about that....
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i had a dude come up to me during a set once and started off with 'i'm a dj too', i just said oh thats cool man and continued with my set, he stood there, staring for a bit at the decks, had a little peak at my cd wallet (could tell he had more to say). told me he had been 'djing for a while now and is pretty good', knew he also had more to say after this. after about 5 minutes time, he asked if he could have a go. i said nah man and he said 'ill just drop one song bro' and i laughed and said nah man, go ask the promoter if you can play a set one time. he got a little annoyed and was like 'come on man just one fuckin song!' and im like fuck man i took the time to get myself a set, dont wanna be rude but your not "dropping one song". the security came up and escorted him down.

he probaly thought i was an asshole but honestly, you're really pushing your luck asking a dj to have a "go". i don't mind someone asking me to play a song, because most of the time i won't have the song and you just be friendly and lie your ass off about how you didn't bring X song with you.
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Quote:

Originally Posted by mashedman

imagine how much worse it's going to get when cdj2000s are everywhere.

all someone has to bring is a usb drive.

"can you play <insert shit song>?"
"Sorry dont have it."
"i've got it here."
"still no fuck off."

"hey mate i'm a dj, wanna play b2b, i've got all my songs with me."

fuck you pioneer

yeh, they would still have to use their own headphones...
slackas +

Music on my mind...

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Quote:

Originally Posted by dazthedominant

i had a dude come up to me during a set once and started off with 'i'm a dj too', i just said oh thats cool man and continued with my set, he stood there, staring for a bit at the decks, had a little peak at my cd wallet (could tell he had more to say). told me he had been 'djing for a while now and is pretty good', knew he also had more to say after this. after about 5 minutes time, he asked if he could have a go. i said nah man and he said 'ill just drop one song bro' and i laughed and said nah man, go ask the promoter if you can play a set one time. he got a little annoyed and was like 'come on man just one fuckin song!' and im like fuck man i took the time to get myself a set, dont wanna be rude but your not "dropping one song". the security came up and escorted him down.

he probaly thought i was an asshole but honestly, you're really pushing your luck asking a dj to have a "go". i don't mind someone asking me to play a song, because most of the time i won't have the song and you just be friendly and lie your ass off about how you didn't bring X song with you.

i had that so many times...

the best one i have had is "im from london, ive played in way better clubs than this"

my response "nice one mate, fuck off back there then..."
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Quote:

Originally Posted by mashedman

imagine how much worse it's going to get when cdj2000s are everywhere.

all someone has to bring is a usb drive.


fuck you pioneer

there goes my standard polite response "if i have that track in my wallet i'll play it for you"
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Quote:

Originally Posted by manuka

yeh, they would still have to use their own headphones...

SD card and earphones... POCKET DJ!
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also had someone say to me at Home nightclub on friday, "the promoters want you to play disco". being the shit producer i am, i'm only going to play my shit tracks and others which seem fitting to my set, and this isn't exactly disco. i didnt know how to respond, so i just laughed and said i'll see what i've got. kind of an offensive question to me, why would you bother getting me to play if you wanted me to play something i do not do. why not just get the almighty dj jukebox to cover your disco requests
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Quote:

Originally Posted by dazthedominant

also had someone say to me at Home nightclub on friday, "the promoters want you to play disco". being the shit producer i am, i'm only going to play my shit tracks and others which seem fitting to my set, and this isn't exactly disco. i didnt know how to respond, so i just laughed and said i'll see what i've got. kind of an offensive question to me, why would you bother getting me to play if you wanted me to play something i do not do. why not just get the almighty dj jukebox to cover your disco requests

SUPER-MAINSTREAM-DJ to the rescue!!!
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Quote:

Originally Posted by mashedman

imagine how much worse it's going to get when cdj2000s are everywhere.

all someone has to bring is a usb drive.

"can you play <insert shit song>?"
"Sorry dont have it."
"i've got it here."
"still no fuck off."

"hey mate i'm a dj, wanna play b2b, i've got all my songs with me."

fuck you pioneer

I wish i never read that post

DJ Booths need a line like on buses. And when you walk over it to talk to the bus driver he just taps the sign and you fuck off.
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DIY sign - pack it with your other stuff, make sure it's laminated so it looks official and remember the blue-tac!
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Was djin at a mates 21st, and some chick comes up to me and asks if i had an Britney Spears! After i said no, she says what kind of DJ are you?!?

lol

stupid mole....
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wrong answer borna, you need to get breath on me (james holden remix)
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Quote:

Originally Posted by DJ-Rollon

LOVE IT!!!!

great idia im gonna gte ma graphic dezsigner to make me a sign that says that

The point of abbreviations and 'internet speakz' is to shorten the word.

dezsigner = 9
designer = 8

Well done, you win nothing.
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sc2 sc2 sc2 sc2 sc2 sc2 sc2 sc2 sc2

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Or do what one guy I know likes to do. Play the first 20 seconds of the song, and drop in the most stomping hard style tune you can find (including a brutal back spin) - you know for the lolcats
latest track
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Quote:

Originally Posted by seanious

Or do what one guy I know likes to do. Play the first 20 seconds of the song, and drop in the most stomping hard style tune you can find (including a brutal back spin) - you know for the lolcats

or you could not abuse hardstyle like that... thats what happy hardcore/Gabber is for...
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Quote:

Originally Posted by seanious

Or do what one guy I know likes to do. Play the first 20 seconds of the song, and drop in the most stomping hard style tune you can find (including a brutal back spin) - you know for the lolcats

I was gonna say that actually.. just claim its a remix and keep a straight face.
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Quote:

Originally Posted by slackas

or you could not abuse hardstyle like that... thats what happy hardcore/Gabber is for...

needs moar speedcore
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"Can I suck you dick?"

No...wait...wrong thread!
Pete Gordon - Deep and Low

Slower tempo but still with balls, deephouse, slow-mo, futurehouse, nudeep, indie, nudisco, hints of progressive, whatever the fuck you want to call it, just good shit! Get on it

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Quote:

Originally Posted by v904

I was gonna say that actually.. just claim its a remix and keep a straight face.


i remember speaking with a dj who accidentally pressed eject on the cdj that was playing.

he just screamed out "ITS THE MUTHAFUCKIN REMIX" and then started the song again with flange and filter.

lulz
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I hate the extremely drunk chick that always hangs around the dj booth trying to chat you up while spraying ya face and mumbling.. so DIRTY
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I got really drunk the other night at PHD and I told Nitrouz that I think all his sets are shit, his music is shit and he has no idea. He got pretty fucking offended, LOL. Then the fact that I'd never heard any of his sets came out and we had a big argument about that.

I feel really bad though, cause I was such a **** about it, but at least I was honest.
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you like em dirty jay

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10 Things Not To Say To A DJ- Andre Harris

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hr6V24oiXY0

probably already got a mention but I cant be bothered checking 200 posts.........
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Ashley Roche - Saturday Night Funk Fiesta.

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