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Things you should never say to a DJ...

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Quote:

Originally Posted by WADZA

you like em dirty jay

haha as if u dont denis
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some djs need to be put in their place though,



saw this dickhead top40 dj wearing sunnies in a club "spinning" tunes off his laptop. Honestly, the worst thing i have seen hahahah
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that’s terrible spastic
also I would imagine a little disheartening that he has never attempted to drug rape you?

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Quote:

Originally Posted by pEAkeR_hAT

some djs need to be put in their place though,



saw this dickhead top40 dj wearing sunnies in a club "spinning" tunes off his laptop. Honestly, the worst thing i have seen hahahah



bahahahahaha
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"Have you got any fast-paced country rock"?

I asked her for an example......."You know, like Kieth Urban, Dixie Chicks etc".


Fuck yeah.
It was the best of times.....it was the BLURST OF TIMES!
YOU STUPID MONKEY!!!!!
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Quote:

Originally Posted by LittleGreenAnt

"Have you got any fast-paced country rock"?

I asked her for an example......."You know, like Kieth Urban, Dixie Chicks etc".


Fuck yeah.

Isnt that just a dream come true
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Quote:

Originally Posted by LittleGreenAnt

"Have you got any fast-paced country rock"?

I asked her for an example......."You know, like Kieth Urban, Dixie Chicks etc".


Fuck yeah.

@145bpm

Where did he come from where did he go, where did he come from, cotton eye joe UNTZ UNTZ UNTZ UNTZ
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Or....

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Quote:

Originally Posted by slackas

SUPER-MAINSTREAM-DJ to the rescue!!!


don't be raggin' on disco


you owe disco $$$
For all of your musical needs*

funkedub dot com



*musical needs most likely not met
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Couldn't find a thread about requests, but here seems like a good spot for this...DJ'ed a corporate Xmas party last night, all retro rock/pop/funk etc...just played 'Boogie Wonderland' by Earth, Wind and Fire, 'Little Red Corvette' by Prince was playing when someone asked me if "I have any black music?"



I'm like "arrrr, isn't Prince black?"
Her "no..."



I'm thinking she meant hip hop/RnB, but if so, are you that clueless you don't even know those genre names to ask?

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Last edited by Random_Kiwi: 05-Dec-09 at 03:40pm

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Had some shockers last night! One guy insisted he stand in the (very) cramped booth booth and gurn all over me. Then asked if he could go through my records and mix a few because he's a 'really good dj and could rock the crowd'. Yeah with MY music. I try and be as friendly as possible but super annoying when your concentrating on the mix.

Also a girl kept coming back to me asking me to play something other than house music after I explained that this is a house night and that's what I have to play.
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I was once asked while playing a hardstyle set if I had 'anything more chilled out, like fatboy slim or disco brothers'... apparently the dumb bitch didn't read the sign that said 'hard trance & hardstyle room' at the club. Plenty of other times I've been asked to play trance/house/rnb, when there are other rooms in the club for house and trance.

Theres also a particular track that always gets requested as it gets played to death at another hard dance club in melbourne. Its now a running joke between me and a DJ mate that whenever one of us is playing the other asks if we can play that track.

Once while playing the opening set, the DJ after me arrived about half way through my set and dumped his bag in the booth and went to get a drink, which is all well and good, except that his mate (who I assume was his +1 on the door and bag carrier/drink fetcher) decided that given he was with the next dj he should be allowed to play with the flange and the faders. This was while I was digging through my bag for my next track, when I hear large amounts of flange applied and staccato flicking of the channel fader. Got up and gave him a death stare, and the fellow walked off pretty quick. When the DJ came back with his drink i proceeded to tell him that he was lucky I'm a laid back guy, but the next time his mate touches the mixer while im on he'll be getting a smack in the face. Later on the guy came and apologised, and bought me a drink. Still a douche in my book though.
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lol, who the hell does he think he is..?
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fukin +1's.
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Play something with guitars.

Has that already been said?
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i had some guy a few weeks ago start to go through my vinyl bag. i said to him that he was messing with my stuff, and then he asked if he could see what i had... i said NO.
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Quote:

Originally Posted by manuka

i had some guy a few weeks ago start to go through my vinyl bag. i said to him that he was messing with my stuff, and then he asked if he could see what i had... i said NO.

like this a lot, and fully agree
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Quote:

Originally Posted by kasper_flip

Theres also a particular track that always gets requested as it gets played to death at another hard dance club in melbourne. Its now a running joke between me and a DJ mate that whenever one of us is playing the other asks if we can play that track.

Which track?
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Please dont say its still showtek - FTS....
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"Want a blowjob under the decks?"

This is the "things your SHOULD say to the DJ" thread, right?
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Random_Kiwi

"Want a blowjob under the decks?"

This is the "things your SHOULD say to the DJ" thread, right?

Depends who it is, really.

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wow, i'm really surprised a number of you 'allow' punters near your gear, especially your records or CDs. i just don't let anyone touch the tunes, i hate it. worst thing is when stupid munted off their face ****s steal faders and crap from your mixer. i had a break in between sets (had to bolt for a piss in a 3hr session) and came back to a missing crossfader cap.

my personal fav was three weeks ago out i had some 6 month in newb pioneer dj wanker come up to me when i'm rocking breaks and serato asking me, pointing at my turntables: "what are these? why aren't your using cdj1000s? and where do your CDs go in". no, i'm not joking, he even looked and he wasn't joking. he didn't understand what vinyl was and i did not feel like wasting my breath on such a douche.

needless to say i told him that he was a fuckwit and kicked his ass out of the booth. during a break the dude stopped me and said: "wow, you're, like, a crazy good dj". to that i replied: "yeah buddy, i've been doing this for years". i'm sick of these little 18 yr old ****buckets that go out and buy a pair of cdj1000s and a piece of shit pioneer mixer and assume that having that kit is the prerequisite for playing out. they just don't have the skills and they sound like trash playing their fidget bullshit.

/rant.
no, dig UP stupid.

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Quote:

Originally Posted by bulldozer

Which track?

Hunter - I Shot The Blender

it gets hammered at PHD so all the shuffle kiddies request it. i swear, most gigs i play i get asked if i can play that. or 'something blutonium boy'
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"can I send you a song via bluetooth to play?"
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Fucking Hate That! ^^^^
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I use CD's, so how that would have worked is beyond me.
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Quote:

Originally Posted by vietnow

wow, i'm really surprised a number of you 'allow' punters near your gear, especially your records or CDs. i just don't let anyone touch the tunes, i hate it. worst thing is when stupid munted off their face ****s steal faders and crap from your mixer. i had a break in between sets (had to bolt for a piss in a 3hr session) and came back to a missing crossfader cap.

my personal fav was three weeks ago out i had some 6 month in newb pioneer dj wanker come up to me when i'm rocking breaks and serato asking me, pointing at my turntables: "what are these? why aren't your using cdj1000s? and where do your CDs go in". no, i'm not joking, he even looked and he wasn't joking. he didn't understand what vinyl was and i did not feel like wasting my breath on such a douche.

needless to say i told him that he was a fuckwit and kicked his ass out of the booth. during a break the dude stopped me and said: "wow, you're, like, a crazy good dj". to that i replied: "yeah buddy, i've been doing this for years". i'm sick of these little 18 yr old ****buckets that go out and buy a pair of cdj1000s and a piece of shit pioneer mixer and assume that having that kit is the prerequisite for playing out. they just don't have the skills and they sound like trash playing their fidget bullshit.

/rant.

I totally second that, mate!

Incredibly sick of those types going around!!
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i hate how they're just totally bemused by vinyl. makes me laugh at how pathetic they are!
no, dig UP stupid.

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i had a beauty the other week, was playing a deep / tech warm up and had some irish backpackers abusing me as i would play any "ritchie hawtin" for them....
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Meh, if it's some other DJ type who is appreciating the music I'm playing and wants to have a sniff through my box, fine by me, so long as they don't A) take things out or B) fuck with the order

Don't be such priss's
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Quote:

Originally Posted by vietnow

i hate how they're just totally bemused by vinyl. makes me laugh at how pathetic they are!

I get this from time to time if i see a decent vinyl dj with a very well thought out selection of vinyl... "wonder how long he has been collecting vinyl"

as opposed to, "i wonder how long it took that dj to download all those tunes"

Quote:

Originally Posted by pomrocks

i had a beauty the other week, was playing a deep / tech warm up and had some irish backpackers abusing me as i would play any "ritchie hawtin" for them....

plastikman for the WIN!! jks...
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this thread is the best!!!!

i have a corporate 80s gig tonight...hopefully i wont have any misfortunes to share...
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Random_Kiwi

Meh, if it's some other DJ type who is appreciating the music I'm playing and wants to have a sniff through my box, fine by me, so long as they don't A) take things out or B) fuck with the order

Don't be such priss's

fuck that reads funny, what you put in there?
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Quote:

Originally Posted by djaudiophile

fuck that reads funny, what you put in there?

hides cocaine in dj bag????
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr_Bones

this thread is the best!!!!

i have a corporate 80s gig tonight...hopefully i wont have any misfortunes to share...

Oh, you will bro, you will!
Pete Gordon - Deep and Low

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https://soundcloud.com/random_kiwi/deep-and-low
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Quote:

Originally Posted by djaudiophile

fuck that reads funny, what you put in there?

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm box! Female friend of mine started DJing and I ask her "Since this is the only I can get away with saying this to a female, can I have a sniff through your box?" - oh the innuendo!

Anyways, I just mean so long as they don't start putting records out, point it out to me and say "I fucking love this track" and hey, I love it too, so I'll probably play it for you...but pull it out and hand it to me and expect me to play it = not cool

Oh, and in a club is a lot different to at a mates place/kick on
Pete Gordon - Deep and Low

Slower tempo but still with balls, deephouse, slow-mo, futurehouse, nudeep, indie, nudisco, hints of progressive, whatever the fuck you want to call it, just good shit! Get on it

https://soundcloud.com/random_kiwi/deep-and-low
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Was DJing a formal last Friday night, had this girl come up and pester me to "play something that people can dance to..." (I had some retro going at the time, probably something like Funky Town, so you know it was rocking!)
After casually pointing out to her that there were plenty of people having a great time on the dance floor at that very moment, I asked her if she had anything specific in mind that she so desperately wanted to hear.
Her response: "It doesn't even have to be housey or techno-ey... Like Sexy Bitch"

Most annoying thing was when I actually did end up playing it for her, she didn't even head to the floor. Needless to say, I was unable to find any of the tracks that she requested throughout the remainder of the night...
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr_Bones

this thread is the best!!!!

i have a corporate 80s gig tonight...hopefully i wont have any misfortunes to share...


These people that you play for do nothing but scrunch up your pride, and trample on your self esteem.. Haha

Good luck for your gig!
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Quote:

Originally Posted by deejaydee

Her response: "It doesn't even have to be housey or techno-ey... Like Sexy Bitch"

hahah i love when people say "can you stop playing techno!"

earth to retard: i have never played techno....
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Quote:

Originally Posted by deejaydee

These people that you play for do nothing but scrunch up your pride, and trample on your self esteem.. Haha

Good luck for your gig!

Yeah, that they do...but I did love telling them "No, I don't have any fucking Abba...I'm playing records here, I don't buy shit I don't like...Abba is one of those things"

And I really did enjoy seeing a bunch of drunken corps totally peaking to Joey Scarbury's "Believe It Or Not (theme from the Greatest American Here)"



Pete Gordon - Deep and Low

Slower tempo but still with balls, deephouse, slow-mo, futurehouse, nudeep, indie, nudisco, hints of progressive, whatever the fuck you want to call it, just good shit! Get on it

https://soundcloud.com/random_kiwi/deep-and-low
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Hahaha, I would have lost my shit to that song..
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"can you play [insert top40 girls music]"
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some highlights from another forum I visit.

Quote:

my worst request of al time was when some (older) girl entered the DJ booth and gave me a gym bag containing her little dog, asking me to keep an eye on it while she celebrated NYE...

Some people are just fucked up beyond repair.

Quote:

Random Chick: Can you play Kanye West “Gold Digger?”
Dan: No, I absolutely will not play that song
Random Chick: Why not?
Dan: This is a wedding, I’m not going to play that song at a wedding.

(5 minutes later…the BRIDE walks up)

Bride: Can you play “Gold Digger?!”
Dan: Ma’am, you know once I play a song, I can’t un-play it.
Bride: I know, but I really want to hear it!

Quote:

Worst request (demand) Situation I've delt with lately was a wedding a few months back. Father of the groom was a compete ass-hat. Tells me to play classical for the first hour. Start playing classical and groom walks up and says "I don't think anyone is into this, you can change it if you want" So I start playing something else (Joe Sample- Fly with Wings of Love) daddy dude marches over to the decks like "you don't know the deffinition of classical do you?" as if I was playing Black Sabbath or something. I said "I know but your son wanted something else." Him: "Well I don't care, it's my house and I'm the one paying you." So I play classical. He's comes up exactly after the first hour has gone by and says "what are you going to play during diner?" I say "smooth stuff, maybe jazz" He says "yeah jazz is good do you have any Kenny G?" So all goes well til after diner I play a Kanye song and he rushes to the decks like "there will be none of this music played at this wedding please change it NOW" So I change it. Bride and groom come up like "hey that was a good song." I said "I know but your dad said to change it." Groom: "Oh OK it is his house" I wanted to tell him to tell his pops to chill the fusk out but I don't know him like that. Later I play Kanye anyway after people kept requesting it, and all the bridesmaids start booty shakin which I thought would make the dude freek out but instead he was perved staring at the girls dancing. Later he comes up and says "play that song the girls were dancing to earlier" WTF? This guy was a total dickball. To top it all off he says he doesn't have our check and the end of the night and that he has to mail it. I seriously considered upper-deckering this dudes toilet. I felt sorry for the groom. He's probably been micromanaged by this dick his whole life.


Almost forgot, the maid of honor speech was the nuttiest I've heard in a while. She used some effed up methaphor in which the bride was the ocean and the groom was the shore, and not matter how much the ocean beat against the shore it would always be there for her. X 150 It was like something out of a wedding singer/crashers type movie.

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bahahahahaha gold
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Upper decking FTW!
Pete Gordon - Deep and Low

Slower tempo but still with balls, deephouse, slow-mo, futurehouse, nudeep, indie, nudisco, hints of progressive, whatever the fuck you want to call it, just good shit! Get on it

https://soundcloud.com/random_kiwi/deep-and-low
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corporate/weddings/21st/formals.
never again.... never ever again.

At a wedding party I had a lovely lady come up to me to ask if I could play something that everyone could dance to (seems village ppl and the 80's were not cutting it for her) and if I could turn it down.
Have you checked out Marsh Media recently?

UPCOMING GIGS

Quote:

Originally Posted by OllieBrooke

when cueing up "Wake Me Up (Before You Go Go) by Wham I knew it was gonna go off!!!

Tranceologer +

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Can you play something by Dj BOBO
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