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Melbourne Strip Clubs

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Melbourne Strip Clubs
Where have you been?
Ratings of different places and funneh stories please

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Originally Posted by Evangelion001

For sure!! they are developing a double headed machine, so you can do your arse and vag at the same time, should be on our shores next year( I am looking REALLY forward to that one)

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Try these:

http://www.inthemix.com.au/forum/sho...d.php?t=123421
http://www.inthemix.com.au/forum/sho...d.php?t=171069

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kittens behind star bar FTW
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live around the cnr from larry flynts hussler club in brunswick.

went down there once cos they have a poker night on thrusdays

its grouse - all the chicks are locals too - ya can just tell
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I live right on King and Latrobe... plethora of options

never go though,

sorry, this was a lame story

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Just want funneh stories more than anything

Quote:

Originally Posted by chimby

I did a traineeship in network admin before I got a job as a fgt.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Evangelion001

For sure!! they are developing a double headed machine, so you can do your arse and vag at the same time, should be on our shores next year( I am looking REALLY forward to that one)

I give upFlickr&BL0G
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at bar20 once... i was gurning my face off, got a dance. during the dance i just had to get up and move around, i felt like a ciggie.. this is what happened..

me: ewfjhdshbfksfhasdb fuck i need a smoke...
stripppppper: i need sex..

i ran out of there like a school girl.
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Quote:

Originally Posted by JulesPLees

its grouse - all the chicks are locals too - ya can just tell

Hairy?
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I bumped into (litterally) Emma from 2007 big brother at centrefold lounge once... she was with Michael Klim and it was like 7am. the rest of the BB brigade were in toe... shocking scene.

I also almost got framed for trying to get my mates girlfriend to give me a lap-dance by some fucked up suit. Was nearly mince meat.

I took pingas at men's gallery back in 2003, no real funny story to tell... but it was fucking hillarious at the time. highly recommended
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^ yeah, I know of a few people that get on it every year to wander around at sexpo... They look forward to it each year and has become somewhat of a tradition.
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Rogan Josh

Hairy?


the politcally correct term is lebo

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lulz
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As an upstanding member of our nation's defense force, I get free entry to Men's Gallery.

Because my reserve unit has a Scottish tradition, we wear kilts on ANZAC Day. ANZAC day last year I was enjoying said free entry after a solid 12 hours of drinking, when my trick knee which pops out when I'm reaaaaaaally well lubricated gave way.

End result: Me flat on my back in the middle of the club, legs up in the air, junk flying everrrrrrrrrrywhere. Pretty disappointed they didn't offer me a permanent gig to be honest.

Cool story, Hansels.

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Out of every one hundred men, ten shouldn't even be there, eighty are just targets, nine are the real fighters, and we are lucky to have them, for they make the battle. Ah, but the one, one is a warrior, and he will bring the others back.

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i've been to goldfingers, first and only time, i thought it was boring. i was expecting big shows like in the movies haha. nobody we were with was giving any money either. one girl seemed to be having deep and meaningfull discussion with one guy, sitting down on her podium chatting to him the whole time we were there. hardly saw any tits. they had tvs with video clips on, i recognised rank 1 - airwave. that was the highlight of the night
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Quote:

Originally Posted by JulesPLees

the politcally correct term is lebo

jayslashkay

It's location on Sydney rd. means there's a 10/5 ratio of badly packed kebabs outside the club to inside.
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Astro-Boy

Because my reserve unit has a Scottish tradition, we wear kilts on ANZAC Day. ANZAC day last year I was enjoying said free entry after a solid 12 hours of drinking, when my trick knee which pops out when I'm reaaaaaaally well lubricated gave way.

Lubricated as in drunk or lubricated as in, y'know, lubricated?
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Rogan Josh

Lubricated as in drunk or lubricated as in, y'know, lubricated?

Never you mind, m'lad.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Heraclitus

Out of every one hundred men, ten shouldn't even be there, eighty are just targets, nine are the real fighters, and we are lucky to have them, for they make the battle. Ah, but the one, one is a warrior, and he will bring the others back.

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ended up one wednesday night at the dodgiest strip joint in dandenong, perhaps somewhere in the plaza area.. it was early in my drug taking career and i had triple dropped. wise. anyway, i was fucking munted as all hell. i needed to get out of the joint, so i went for a walk/jog to the a seven eleven and bought a BOX of PK (like 30pks) and a porno mag. fuck knows why, as i was at the strippers. jogging back to the club, with all my loot zipped up in my jacket, a cop car with the meanest motherfucking dog in the back screamed up ONTO the footpath. This cop thought hed just caught tony mokbel or someshit cause i had to get down on the ground and empty my jacket. he called me a sick fuck and let me go when he saw the porno and PK.
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went to club 20 for a mates bday.there were more girls there than i was expecting and at midnight all the girls(bout 30 of them) did a mega strip.
in the end me and the bf got a joint lap dance.the stripper spent most of the lap dance with me not him lol, the bf was disappointed.
the girls were pretty dirty.bf shirt was stained with stripper glitter/sweat/ooze so it was pretty funny,would go again.
i ate all your bee's.....
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they don't even get their ****'s out

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or so i have heard

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go to club 20 on king street.they get there ****s out.rub it and all.
you going to the wrong place.
i ate all your bee's.....
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Quote:

Originally Posted by worla

ooze

pretty sure the medical term is gleet. thats what i was always taught anyway..
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Quote:

Originally Posted by drdan

pretty sure the medical term is gleet. thats what i was always taught anyway..

well ya learn something new everyday!
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Quote:

Originally Posted by drdan

pretty sure the medical term is gleet. thats what i was always taught anyway..


I just threw up a little in my mouth
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funniest story for me was i was hanging out with these 5 glamour irish birds...fucking mint!

hangin on bridie's on chapel and they decide they wanna head to boutique. me being the only guy there basically was like sweet, i can probably get in to boutique with these chicks!

hang out at boutique and look across and Nick Giannopolous was chatting up a few of the irish birds. they had no idea who he was. i come up and am like..."wog boy!!!" (coz that was the coolest thing i could think of)

so i'm hanging out with nick, cool fuckin dude and these 2 lesbo mates of his. and the owner/manager of Prada in Aus/NZ (possibly the richest man i've ever met in my life)

so we all get in their cars and head to spearmint.

walk straight in with them all thinkin i am the maddest **** alive, 5 hot irish birds, nick giannopolous and these 2 hot lesbians in tow.

go straight upstairs and i proceed to down about 2 bottles of moet alone, continuous lap dances all night, and they even kept the club open for him coz we all wanted to keep going.

ended up back at this prada guys penthouse suite in crown with 1 of the irish birds he was trying to tune (she wasnt havin a bar of it)

for some reason he thinks its my birthday and that we're all hungry and orders like $200 worth of room service, birthday cake and all. best food ever!

this prada guy was so lonely he organised tickets to the opera or something with reception so we could hang out with him the next night...

i pass out on a couch and the irish bird wakes me up at like 9am and is like LETS GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!!

she steals his sunnies and a bunch of random shit and bail as he's passed out now as well...

end up back at this birds appartment in south yarra...

at the door trying to find her keys as none of the other irish girls were answering their phone door...

after 10 mins lookin for keys, i empty her entire handbag and her keys are there... score

walk in, and in one of the bedrooms is one of the irish girls in bed with one of the lesbians (who was topless at this point)

i pass out on the couch and get my gf to pick me up the next day... (who i'd told that i was just having a quiet night out at bridies)


pretty funny story
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Originally Posted by worla View Post

I saw a photo of someone making out with a duck.

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Last edited by cr2004: 10-Jan-09 at 12:02am

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Quote:

Originally Posted by daveyjaye

funniest story for me was i was hanging out with these 5 glamour irish birds...fucking mint!

hangin on bridie's on chapel and they decide they wanna head to boutique. me being the only guy there basically was like sweet, i can probably get in to boutique with these chicks!

hang out at boutique and look across and Nick Giannopolous was chatting up a few of the irish birds. they had no idea who he was. i come up and am like..."wog boy!!!" (coz that was the coolest thing i could think of)

so i'm hanging out with nick, cool fuckin dude and these 2 lesbo mates of his. and the owner/manager of Prada in Aus/NZ (possibly the richest man i've ever met in my life)

so we all get in their cars and head to spearmint.

walk straight in with them all thinkin i am the maddest **** alive, 5 hot irish birds, nick giannopolous and these 2 hot lesbians in tow.

go straight upstairs and i proceed to down about 2 bottles of moet alone, continuous lap dances all night, and they even kept the club open for him coz we all wanted to keep going.

ended up back at this prada guys penthouse suite in crown with 1 of the irish birds he was trying to tune (she wasnt havin a bar of it)

for some reason he thinks its my birthday and that we're all hungry and orders like $200 worth of room service, birthday cake and all. best food ever!

this prada guy was so lonely he organised tickets to the opera or something with reception so we could hang out with him the next night...

i pass out on a couch and the irish bird wakes me up at like 9am and is like LETS GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!!

she steals his sunnies and a bunch of random shit and bail as he's passed out now as well...

end up back at this birds appartment in south yarra...

at the door trying to find her keys as none of the other irish girls were answering their phone door...

after 10 mins lookin for keys, i empty her entire handbag and her keys are there... score

walk in, and in one of the bedrooms is one of the irish girls in bed with one of the lesbians (who was topless at this point)

i pass out on the couch and get my gf to pick me up the next day... (who i'd told that i was just having a quiet night out at bridies)


pretty funny story

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LOL from a link in the first thread ran into this browsing



Would you like some woman with that fake tan?
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Been to few over the years because of bucks nites or with work, and I find them boring! These girls are makin a quid off you, and nothing more. Even the initial convo is nothing more than cash to be exchanged later for a lapdance etc..,. Sad thing is there are guys out there who make a nite of it by going out to these establishments thinking that the girls are genuinely interested......sad.
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Hadn't been to years, but some mates were going a few weeks ago so I went along. Was annoying as fuck having them come up to you constantly when you aren't there for a dance. There was this one chick, she looked like Terrence Trent Darby. Saw heaps of people (especially indians) getting kicked out for just looking and not spending any $$$.

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Also, despite my epilepsy, I daresay I'm more fortunate than you, you condescending prick.

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Quote:

Originally Posted by cletus1985

LOL from a link in the first thread ran into this browsing



Would you like some woman with that fake tan?

Holy Shit. I know this girl.

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Thread delivers.
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i went to one (cant remember what once)

was 10 in the morning and i was still a little munted, but mainly trying to stay drunk to fight off feeling like dogshit.

drank too much and threw up behind a couch more that once

thats about it (well all i remember)
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Quote:

Originally Posted by rolinconnection

Holy Shit. I know this girl.

Stripper ?? Excellent

Mate ran into a girl who knew me he knew at brothel recently. I dunno wtf he was taking about me whilst he was balls deep for, but that was definitely an interesting piece of trivia. Had no idea she was a pro..
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Quote:

Originally Posted by rolinconnection

Holy Shit. I know this girl.

Stripper ?? Excellent

Lol... I know her too man.. She is a model / promo girl etc but hasnt crossed the line as far as I know!!
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Quote:

Originally Posted by drdan

Mate ran into a girl who knew me he knew at brothel recently.

Lay off the crack pls

Quote:

Originally Posted by chimby

I did a traineeship in network admin before I got a job as a fgt.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Evangelion001

For sure!! they are developing a double headed machine, so you can do your arse and vag at the same time, should be on our shores next year( I am looking REALLY forward to that one)

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Anyone been to the redone Hosies?

They've tried taking it upmarket from what it looks like (externally!)
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is it called dreams?
if it is i met the owner at an expo(like sexpo but shit) i was working at,god he was a dousche.He would come up to me everyday the expo was on and say i should work for him and i'd make more money if i had darker hair.
no thanks!
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Quote:

Originally Posted by worla

is it called dreams?
if it is i met the owner at an expo(like sexpo but shit) i was working at,god he was a dousche.He would come up to me everyday the expo was on and say i should work for him and i'd make more money if i had darker hair.
no thanks!

Yes - think that's it - dreams.

Isn't being a douche as a strip club owner part of the job description?
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most likely.
he was fat bald and fully sik!
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Quote:

Originally Posted by write my name

Anyone been to the redone Hosies?

They've tried taking it upmarket from what it looks like (externally!)

ahh good old hosies, now that was a funny joint

tried going there a few months ago (had to take the gf's cousin from tassie to see strippers cos apparently they don't have them down there, but that may have just been a ploy), but it wasn't open then

pity if they've tried to glam it up, its seediness was its most endearing quality imo
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Didak

Been to few over the years because of bucks nites or with work, and I find them boring! These girls are makin a quid off you, and nothing more. Even the initial convo is nothing more than cash to be exchanged later for a lapdance etc..,. Sad thing is there are guys out there who make a nite of it by going out to these establishments thinking that the girls are genuinely interested......sad.




WHAT????? REALLY??? NOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Thanks for killing the dream.

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Didak

Been to few over the years because of bucks nites or with work, and I find them boring! These girls are makin a quid off you, and nothing more. Even the initial convo is nothing more than cash to be exchanged later for a lapdance etc..,. Sad thing is there are guys out there who make a nite of it by going out to these establishments thinking that the girls are genuinely interested......sad.

hahah yeh well i guess that's the point of it right? but i am not too fond either.

recently at shoop i saw a girl i used to go to school with in cranny. i wasn't surprised at all tbh, but that nite she was just bar tending, though i heard from old mates that she makes some extra cash on the side.

strippers do make a pretty penny though.

daveyjaye that shit is nuts! was there any chance of you joining the fun?
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Spicy

strippers do make a pretty penny though.

And spend it all on mass amount of drugs to deal with the fact of getting their tits out for old men all night

Quote:

Originally Posted by chimby

I did a traineeship in network admin before I got a job as a fgt.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Evangelion001

For sure!! they are developing a double headed machine, so you can do your arse and vag at the same time, should be on our shores next year( I am looking REALLY forward to that one)

I give upFlickr&BL0G
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Quote:

Originally Posted by worla

most likely.
he was fat bald and fully sik!

How many gold chains did he have on?
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Quote:

Originally Posted by atrev2much

And spend it all on mass amount of drugs to deal with the fact of getting their tits out for old men all night

Personally, I think the drugs come before the strippage.

Chicken and egg scenario, imo.
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