Gaming, Computers, Phones, and Gadgets

Portal 2

Reply
  Tools
Fledz +

Royal Astrological Metaphysician

Fledz's Avatar
Joined
Aug '06
Times thanked
< 5,608
Posts
15,446

Quote:

Originally Posted by ianwil1976

While I appreciate pointing the finger at Gabe and laughing, why would he make a portal out of the room that the cake was already in?

</Buzz Killington>

Christ on a bike, that IS the fucking joke!
/facepalm
Charger +

No.

Charger's Avatar
Joined
Apr '02
Times thanked
< 944
Posts
6,385
Oh Eans.
ianwil1976 +

Goat Herder

ianwil1976's Avatar
Joined
Oct '04
Times thanked
< 13,070
Posts
37,159
FFS, you knobends, you really think I don't get that?

It's called "taking the piss"
V-Tron +

hmmm

V-Tron's Avatar
Joined
Mar '08
Times thanked
< 2,698
Posts
5,678


I-Rod
NismoR31 +

NismoR31's Avatar
Joined
Feb '02
Times thanked
< 9,208
Posts
31,093
ean doing the reverse 1/4 mile in under 10 secs



meanwhile..
http://www.tomshardware.com/news/por...team,9870.html

Last edited by NismoR31: 15-Mar-10 at 08:05am

Marshy +

is releasing a book

Marshy's Avatar
Joined
Mar '05
Times thanked
< 492
Posts
16,127
ianwil1976 +

Goat Herder

ianwil1976's Avatar
Joined
Oct '04
Times thanked
< 13,070
Posts
37,159
The day I need humour explained to me by Australians is the day I burn my British passport.
NismoR31 +

NismoR31's Avatar
Joined
Feb '02
Times thanked
< 9,208
Posts
31,093
start burning, pommie

do you know today is Black Adder quote day on facebook? That's right, Baldrick's been eating dung again
ianwil1976 +

Goat Herder

ianwil1976's Avatar
Joined
Oct '04
Times thanked
< 13,070
Posts
37,159
Black Adder quote day on Facebook.

Give me strength.
Fledz +

Royal Astrological Metaphysician

Fledz's Avatar
Joined
Aug '06
Times thanked
< 5,608
Posts
15,446

Quote:

Originally Posted by V-Tron



I-Rod

Fucking lol!

Ian is a pommy? If this was about 2-3 years earlier, I'd rip into him about how we (ie the Croats) demolished them and kicked them out of the Euro but err.....yea....that one's probably gonna backfire on me now so I won't say i.....oh shit
Gruso +

Gruso's Avatar
Joined
Aug '04
Times thanked
< 17,384
Posts
34,502
Aperture Science: A History

Spoiler:
Aperture Science: A History

1953 Aperture Science begins operations as a manufacturer of shower curtains. Early product line provides a very low-tech portal between the inside and outside of your shower. Very little science is actually involved. The name is chosen to make the curtains appear more hygienic.

1956 Eisenhower administration awards Aperture a contract to provide shower curtains to all branches of the military except the Navy.

1957 - 1973 Mostly shower curtains.

1974 Aperture Founder and CEO, Cave Johnson, is exposed to mercury while secretly developing a dangerous mercury-injected rubber sheeting from which he plans to manufacture seven deadly shower curtains to be given as gifts to each member of the House Naval Appropriations committee.

1976 Both of Cave Johnsons kidneys fail. Brain damaged, dying, and incapable of being convinced that time is not now flowing backwards, Johnson lays out a three-tier R&D program. The results, he says, will guarantee the continued success of Aperture Science far into the fast-approaching distant past.

1. The Heimlich Counter-Maneuver A reliable technique for interrupting the life-saving Heimlich Maneuver.
2. The Take-A-Wish Foundation A charitable organization that will purchase wishes from the parents of terminally ill children and redistribute them to wish-deprived but otherwise healthy adults.
3. Some kind of rip in the fabric of spacethat wouldwell, itd be like, I dont know, something that would help with the shower curtains I guess. I havent worked this idea out as much as the wish-taking one.

1981 Diligent Aperture engineers complete the Heimlich Counter-Maneuver and Take-A-Wish Foundation initiatives. The company announces products related to the research in a lavish, televised ceremony. These products immediately become wildly unpopular. After a very public string of choking and despondent sick child disasters, senior company officials are summoned before a Senate investigative committee. During these proceedings, an engineer mentions that some progress has been made on "Tier 3", the man-sized ad hoc quantum tunnel through physical space with possible applications as a shower curtain. The committee is quickly and permanently recessed, and Aperture is granted an open-ended contract to continue research on the Portal and "Heimlich Counter-Maneuver" projects in secret.

1981-1985 Work progresses on the Portal project. Several high ranking Fatah personnel choke to death on lamb chunks despite the intervention of their bodyguards.

1986 Word reaches Aperture management that another defense contractor called Black Mesa is working on a similar portal technology. In response to this news, Aperture begins developing the Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System (GLaDOS), an artificially intelligent research assistant and disk operating system.

1996 After a decade spent bringing the disk operating parts of GLaDOS to a state of more or less basic functionality, work begins on the Genetic Lifeform component.

1998 The untested AI is activated for the first time as one of the planned activities on Apertures first annual bring-your-daughter-to-work day. In many ways, the initial test goes well: Within one picosecond of being switched on, GLaDOS becomes self-aware. The "going well" phase lasts for two more picoseconds, at which point GLaDOS takes control of the facility, locks everyone inside, and begins a permanent cycle of testing. Her goal: beat the hated Black Mesa in the race to develop a functioning portal technology. Days later, that race is lost when Black Mesa successfully deploys an interdimensional gate through which an alien race emerges and effectively ends the outside world.


(Contains no Portal 2 info, so it's safe to read if you're on a media ban. The source link isn't though. )
ianwil1976 +

Goat Herder

ianwil1976's Avatar
Joined
Oct '04
Times thanked
< 13,070
Posts
37,159
Could you explain some of those jokes to me, I don't get any of them.
Gruso +

Gruso's Avatar
Joined
Aug '04
Times thanked
< 17,384
Posts
34,502
It's because you're a pommy lol!
maccamacca +

Registered User

Joined
Jan '09
Times thanked
< 0
Posts
5
I really hope, they kick out the story line, and make it longer for this.

The first one i finished it one sitting, and didn't care one bit about the storey line.

I really liked the humour in the first one, and the voice acting, hope they cfarry this over to the second.
ianwil1976 +

Goat Herder

ianwil1976's Avatar
Joined
Oct '04
Times thanked
< 13,070
Posts
37,159
Errr, the humour was a part of the story.
franko123 +

Hello, this is your captain speaking.

franko123's Avatar
Joined
Jan '06
Times thanked
< 861
Posts
11,596
^ also like they pointed out portal was just a test.... it wasn't a game
Gruso +

Gruso's Avatar
Joined
Aug '04
Times thanked
< 17,384
Posts
34,502
From GAF / IGN:

Quote:

Valve has apparently canceled its planned Portal 2 event during E3 for a new surprise.

An e-mail was sent out to gaming press today that announced the cancellation. Read the entire message below:

Quote:

Dear Subject Name Here,

Aperture Science is pleased to inform you that we have partnered with Valve to announce the gala CANCELLATION of the June 14 Portal 2 event at the Regal Theater. The event will be replaced by a surprise. And even though the cancellation of the event certainly counts as a surprise, we are pleased to further announce that the cancellation of the event is not THE surprise. However, per International treaties regarding the definition of the word "surprise", of which both Aperture Science and Valve are signatories, the time, date and content of the actual surprise will only become available as you experience the surprise.

If you'd like to ask fruitless questions about the E3 Portal 2 surprise or, more fruitfully, schedule an appointment to attend a Portal 2 screening at the Valve booth during E3, please contact Valve's Special Envoy to Surprises, Doug Lombardi.

Thank you for [[RECORD SCRATCH!!!]]

PS: The surprising record scratch is also not the surprise.

Naturally everyone's saying Episode 3.
Charger +

No.

Charger's Avatar
Joined
Apr '02
Times thanked
< 944
Posts
6,385
Beaten!

If this is just Episode 3 I'll be pissed.

It's time for the full meal of HL3. I would say that it is HL3, if it weren't for the fact I wouldn't put it past Valve to try squeeze the last ounces revenue out of that decrepit Source engine.

Last edited by Charger: 02-Jun-10 at 12:34pm

Gruso +

Gruso's Avatar
Joined
Aug '04
Times thanked
< 17,384
Posts
34,502
I'm pretty jolly intrigued. Are there really two games here, or just one?

Finkel, Einhorn, Finkel, Einhorn, FINKEL, EINHORN, FINKLE, EINHORN.
Charger +

No.

Charger's Avatar
Joined
Apr '02
Times thanked
< 944
Posts
6,385
With Valve's capacity for cool PR, Portal 2 could just be a truly epic misdirection from the main course.
chobbi +

omg Omg OMg OMG GORILLAZ TOUR END OF YEAR FUCK YEAH!!

chobbi's Avatar
Joined
Oct '06
Times thanked
< 2
Posts
775
I'll start the count down...
12 days to go.

+1 for episode 3, they need to finish it off before they start HL3
grumf +

"If I want to put my hands in the air I will. I don't need some fuck-stick telling me what to do." - Aphex Twin

grumf's Avatar
Joined
Feb '09
Times thanked
< 180
Posts
883
Half-Life²
Marshy +

is releasing a book

Marshy's Avatar
Joined
Mar '05
Times thanked
< 492
Posts
16,127
Ep 3 would be nice.
NismoR31 +

NismoR31's Avatar
Joined
Feb '02
Times thanked
< 9,208
Posts
31,093
chobbi +

omg Omg OMg OMG GORILLAZ TOUR END OF YEAR FUCK YEAH!!

chobbi's Avatar
Joined
Oct '06
Times thanked
< 2
Posts
775
i dont get it :s
NismoR31 +

NismoR31's Avatar
Joined
Feb '02
Times thanked
< 9,208
Posts
31,093
^ go watch ace ventura
Dante +

noided noided

Dante's Avatar
Joined
Sep '01
Times thanked
< 1,214
Posts
6,578
EINHORN IS A MAN?!?

lulz. wait.. does this mean alyx is a man? ¬_¬
NismoR31 +

NismoR31's Avatar
Joined
Feb '02
Times thanked
< 9,208
Posts
31,093
http://www.vg247.com/2010/06/08/rumo...urce-engine-2/

Quote:

A VG247 source has claimed that Valve’s “surprise” at E3 will be the unveiling of Source Engine 2.


The source, who wished to remain anonymous, said it’s possible Valve will be showing Half-Life 3 running on it – which would fit with the firm’s M.O. of showing Half-Life games on new versions of the code.

Charger +

No.

Charger's Avatar
Joined
Apr '02
Times thanked
< 944
Posts
6,385
Portal 2 also delayed to 2011. Is that news? I don't know...
Valency +

jawesome

Valency's Avatar
Joined
Jan '09
Times thanked
< 64
Posts
440
Trailer: http://www.giantbomb.com/portal-2-e3-trailer/17-2722/
spazmatron +

slapflapping

spazmatron's Avatar
Joined
Jun '03
Times thanked
< 0
Posts
3,301
portal2 and steamworks on ps3. great news for ps3onlys. intrigued to see how steamworks will be implemented.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gabe Newell

"When the PlayStation 3 was introduced, I was the one of the platform's biggest critics," said Gabe Newell, president and co-founder of Valve. "However, Sony Computer Entertainment has proved that the PlayStation 3 is the most open platform of all the current generation consoles and has worked extremely hard to make the platform the most desirable for consumers and developers. As such, we are delighted to announce Portal 2 for the PlayStation 3 and believe the Steamworks support included will make it the best console version of the game."

the subsequent meltings are delicious*:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Son of GafZilla

Betrayalton.

This has killed any interest I had in the game. "Definitive experience"? Fuck you, Newell. Maybe I'll buy it when it's on sale for $4 on steam.

Quote:

Originally Posted by overgafsensitive

They cancelled their E3 show to hype everyone for a surprise that didn't have any application to them. Get this right, guys.

Quote:

Originally Posted by steaming

Of course, I don't mean 'stunned' as in "Wow, that was so amazing that I am utterly speechless and I may have pooped myself a little"

I mean 'stunned' in the way you just found out someone brutally murdered your grandparents and made a suit of skin from their corpses.

That's how I feel about Portal 2 right now.

Quote:

Originally Posted by it's a conspiracy!

Is it just me, or did Mr. Newell not seem like he believed in what he was saying.
About the PS3. His speech didn't seem genuine, and was not enthusiastic. He said the PS3 version will be the best of all the consoles (because save files are kept with steam??).

It sounds to me like he was approached by Sony carrying a big check..

And anyone will sell out, if the price is right.

Quote:

Originally Posted by extremely entitled

not so much a surprise as a kick to balls

*user names have been changed to protect the guilty.
I don't shoot everybody, just the drug dealers and hookers.

tunes
extra spazz - extra beef
Blue Moon +

Sick ****el

Blue Moon's Avatar
Joined
Oct '06
Times thanked
< 308
Posts
12,036
So...are we still waiting for the suprise?
http://soundcloud.com/blue-tune
spazmatron +

slapflapping

spazmatron's Avatar
Joined
Jun '03
Times thanked
< 0
Posts
3,301
see above, the surprise was gabe came out for the sony press conference and kicked your cat. then he said something about your mum, i forget what, but he did mail her a money order for $3.59
I don't shoot everybody, just the drug dealers and hookers.

tunes
extra spazz - extra beef
Chippie +

dm6

Chippie's Avatar
Joined
Oct '05
Times thanked
< 1,472
Posts
7,598
Gabe trolling 360 owners
Charger +

No.

Charger's Avatar
Joined
Apr '02
Times thanked
< 944
Posts
6,385
Someone needs to spray some WD40 on that Valve because nothing's coming out!!
Blue Moon +

Sick ****el

Blue Moon's Avatar
Joined
Oct '06
Times thanked
< 308
Posts
12,036

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gruso View Post

Aperture Science: A History

Spoiler:
Aperture Science: A History

1953 � Aperture Science begins operations as a manufacturer of shower curtains. Early product line provides a very low-tech portal between the inside and outside of your shower. Very little science is actually involved. The name is chosen to make the curtains appear more hygienic.

1956 � Eisenhower administration awards Aperture a contract to provide shower curtains to all branches of the military except the Navy.

1957 - 1973 � Mostly shower curtains.

1974 � Aperture Founder and CEO, Cave Johnson, is exposed to mercury while secretly developing a dangerous mercury-injected rubber sheeting from which he plans to manufacture seven deadly shower curtains to be given as gifts to each member of the House Naval Appropriations committee.

1976 � Both of Cave Johnson�s kidneys fail. Brain damaged, dying, and incapable of being convinced that time is not now flowing backwards, Johnson lays out a three-tier R&D program. The results, he says, will �guarantee the continued success of Aperture Science far into the fast-approaching distant past.�

1. The Heimlich Counter-Maneuver � A reliable technique for interrupting the life-saving Heimlich Maneuver.
2. The Take-A-Wish Foundation � A charitable organization that will purchase wishes from the parents of terminally ill children and redistribute them to wish-deprived but otherwise healthy adults.
3. �Some kind of rip in the fabric of space�that would�well, it�d be like, I don�t know, something that would help with the shower curtains I guess. I haven�t worked this idea out as much as the wish-taking one.�

1981 � Diligent Aperture engineers complete the Heimlich Counter-Maneuver and Take-A-Wish Foundation initiatives. The company announces products related to the research in a lavish, televised ceremony. These products immediately become wildly unpopular. After a very public string of choking and despondent sick child disasters, senior company officials are summoned before a Senate investigative committee. During these proceedings, an engineer mentions that some progress has been made on "Tier 3", the �man-sized ad hoc quantum tunnel through physical space with possible applications as a shower curtain.� The committee is quickly and permanently recessed, and Aperture is granted an open-ended contract to continue research on the �Portal� and "Heimlich Counter-Maneuver" projects in secret.

1981-1985 � Work progresses on the �Portal� project. Several high ranking Fatah personnel choke to death on lamb chunks despite the intervention of their bodyguards.

1986 � Word reaches Aperture management that another defense contractor called Black Mesa is working on a similar portal technology. In response to this news, Aperture begins developing the Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System (GLaDOS), an artificially intelligent research assistant and disk operating system.

1996 � After a decade spent bringing the disk operating parts of GLaDOS to a state of more or less basic functionality, work begins on the Genetic Lifeform component.

1998 � The untested AI is activated for the first time as one of the planned activities on Aperture�s first annual bring-your-daughter-to-work day. In many ways, the initial test goes well: Within one picosecond of being switched on, GLaDOS becomes self-aware. The "going well" phase lasts for two more picoseconds, at which point GLaDOS takes control of the facility, locks everyone inside, and begins a permanent cycle of testing. Her goal: beat the hated Black Mesa in the race to develop a functioning portal technology. Days later, that race is lost when Black Mesa successfully deploys an interdimensional gate through which an alien race emerges and effectively ends the outside world.


(Contains no Portal 2 info, so it's safe to read if you're on a media ban. The source link isn't though. )

Only just read this.
http://soundcloud.com/blue-tune
Gruso +

Gruso's Avatar
Joined
Aug '04
Times thanked
< 17,384
Posts
34,502
Interesting. It's nice having two Xboxes, because you can always trade one in for a PS3.
Dante +

noided noided

Dante's Avatar
Joined
Sep '01
Times thanked
< 1,214
Posts
6,578
I love how Gabe comes out saying the best console version will be on PS3.

That's because Portal on consoles is BALLS in comparison to PC. Mainly because of the control system... it's such a twitchy game that it needs quick accurate snapping to any point at any time.
Gruso +

Gruso's Avatar
Joined
Aug '04
Times thanked
< 17,384
Posts
34,502
I understand some PS3 titles have WASD+mouse support. If Valve does this...
chimby +

You've got to be kitten me!

chimby's Avatar
Joined
Jan '09
Times thanked
< 212
Posts
13,584

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gruso View Post

I understand some PS3 titles have WASD+mouse support. If Valve does this...

UT2K4 has Keyboard + Mouse support.
adamhatfield +

Registered User

adamhatfield's Avatar
Joined
Jan '04
Times thanked
< 34
Posts
1,736

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gruso View Post

Interesting. It's nice having two Xboxes, because you can always trade one in for a PS3.

Orly, if you've a spare 360 how much do they give you towards a PS3 and where?

Quote:

Originally Posted by jarrardscott View Post

anything bigger tended to be crap and only bigger because theyre bigger, but not actually better and bigger at the same time therefore not better just bigger?

Gruso +

Gruso's Avatar
Joined
Aug '04
Times thanked
< 17,384
Posts
34,502
Not sure about current deals, but in the past EB and GAME have had deals along the lines of "trade a 360 + 3 games, get a PS3 for $200ish".

If one of these offers comes up again between now and Portal 2, I think I'll take it.
Blue Moon +

Sick ****el

Blue Moon's Avatar
Joined
Oct '06
Times thanked
< 308
Posts
12,036
Do it Gruso. Do it good.
http://soundcloud.com/blue-tune
Dante +

noided noided

Dante's Avatar
Joined
Sep '01
Times thanked
< 1,214
Posts
6,578
Gruso: should have done it with your RROD'd one

P.S. I cannot advocate trading your games console for a system that HAS NO GAMES
Charger +

No.

Charger's Avatar
Joined
Apr '02
Times thanked
< 944
Posts
6,385
It really doesn't have any games. Tempted to trade my PS3 slim in for my new "slim" 360.
spazmatron +

slapflapping

spazmatron's Avatar
Joined
Jun '03
Times thanked
< 0
Posts
3,301
hurp derp no gaems!



it was funny in 2007.
I don't shoot everybody, just the drug dealers and hookers.

tunes
extra spazz - extra beef

Last edited by spazmatron: 16-Jun-10 at 04:25pm

Dante +

noided noided

Dante's Avatar
Joined
Sep '01
Times thanked
< 1,214
Posts
6,578
It's still funny.
spazmatron +

slapflapping

spazmatron's Avatar
Joined
Jun '03
Times thanked
< 0
Posts
3,301
it's always funny when i read it in dale's voice
I don't shoot everybody, just the drug dealers and hookers.

tunes
extra spazz - extra beef
Hooch1981 +

Home sex is killing prostitution

Hooch1981's Avatar
Joined
Aug '09
Times thanked
< 990
Posts
2,636

Quote:

Originally Posted by chimby View Post

UT2K4 has Keyboard + Mouse support.

So did UT on the Dreamcast...

Just sayin'.
Hooch done a photo
Gruso +

Gruso's Avatar
Joined
Aug '04
Times thanked
< 17,384
Posts
34,502
So did HL1 on the PS2.

Not sure what we're sayin'.
Reply

« Previous Thread Next Thread »

Posting Rules

+
    • You may not post new threads
    • You may not post replies
    • You may not post attachments
    • You may not edit your posts