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Retarded Facebook status updates that pop up in your feed #2

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THEHEATH +

ACCESS DENIED.

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Quote:

Originally Posted by B_e_de View Post

A "girls and smiles" album is just fucking creepy to the max.

What's next? "Prostitutes and the socks they were wearing"

How bout "Pattaya, kids, animals"...
Pdzy +

Hi, I'm a registered user and you're a d*ckhead.

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Derelict +

Derpcore gets the derpy dollars

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https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?f...&type=1&ref=nf

God my fucking ass, it's called science.
Music is the best drug.

Quote:

Originally Posted by RunningWithScissors View Post

PM derelict for manual labour shit

Coezi +

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Breast cancer makes you infertile? Aside from the obvious possible death situation. I see no difference between that and having any other non-reproductive related cancer removed.

I would be more impressed if a Turner syndrome girl was pregnant.
HERPA DERPA, HERPADEE DOO
I'VE GOT A PERFECT PUZZLE FOR YOU
HERPA DERPA, HERPADAH DEE
IF YOU ARE WISE, YOU'LL LISTEN TO ME.
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Quote:

Originally Posted by mischa21 View Post

I've never known anyone to boast about paying for sex so much?! and he's hiedeous! those poor girls

it would still be cheaper then having a girlfriend here. One dinner here with your girlfriend will give you a hooker for everynight of the week over there.
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Romie View Post

it would still be cheaper then having a girlfriend here. One dinner here with your girlfriend will give you a hooker for everynight of the week over there.

Yeh, labour costs are seriously inflated in the western world. It was only a matter of time before men started taking production off-shore. It's economics... I think.
HERPA DERPA, HERPADEE DOO
I'VE GOT A PERFECT PUZZLE FOR YOU
HERPA DERPA, HERPADAH DEE
IF YOU ARE WISE, YOU'LL LISTEN TO ME.
Derelict +

Derpcore gets the derpy dollars

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Lmao pot isnt as bad as what the media and everyone puts it out toi be its been proven to cure cancer but the pharmaceutical wont release that cos that means they lose several billion a year cos cancer is being cured and there would be no point supplying these patients with a drug that only delays the process of cancer. Now Im dead against the other drugs but pot na never if everyone smoked pot we wouldnt have wars and shit no one would be bothered to start anything
Music is the best drug.

Quote:

Originally Posted by RunningWithScissors View Post

PM derelict for manual labour shit

Chesterfield +

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This just popped up in my feed because a mate of mine liked it.

Mickstah +

"Science needs to be applied to beds"

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Really? I call all Thai transgenders kathoeys and you'll find most Thai people (in the North anyway) do the same.
ಥ_ಥ - - - - - - - - - - - -ಠ_

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More cooler than a dolphin
Let's hug me


RunningWithScissors +

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wow sharky way to be bigoted against kathoeys
THE COOLEST HOBBY
RunningWithScissors +

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max kathoeys in the gravel and shit near Hua Lamphong station
THE COOLEST HOBBY
Pdzy +

Hi, I'm a registered user and you're a d*ckhead.

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Ruthykins +

Stay awake little missfit

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Just completed a barrel race.... One the first one and second in the next. Good fun :-)


from 30-something year old man who not only competes in barrel races (whatever they might be) but also doesn't know the difference between one and won. gah
Ya baloney
Bumpy +

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"Loves my grandma who won the monthly medal for being the best golfer in her club! Go nannaaaa! Xx"

Is it wrong if I comment on it asking how much dick her grandma sucked to get the medal?
m_xt +

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Jessica
sometimes i wonder how this is fair.

First comment "???"
Waiting for the obligatory 'zomg r u ok babe?' 'PM me" etc to pop up in the comments also.
It must be hard studying overseas while being bankrolled by the olds.


Yeh, I'm jaded and jealous, and probably other things that also start with j.
Check it ****s.
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GoodLove +

likes this

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Jewish?
Bumpy +

My dick is shrivelled

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Jihad?
Bumpy +

My dick is shrivelled

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Chesterfield View Post

This just popped up in my feed because a mate of mine liked it.

His whole profile popped up last page..
pEAkeR_hAT +

"The Peoples' Champion"

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Romie View Post

it would still be cheaper then having a girlfriend here. One dinner here with your girlfriend will give you a hooker for everynight of the week over there.

actually, probably one dinner = one night with a hooker,



just sayin...
Spoiler:

Quote:

Originally Posted by borrisGLOWSTICK View Post

Life trainwreck stories, bewbs, mod angering drug implicated posts and 2fast2furious only.

Quote:

Originally Posted by mliro View Post

that’s terrible spastic
also I would imagine a little disheartening that he has never attempted to drug rape you?

GoodLove +

likes this

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pics or it didnt-

wait...
Garydose +

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Quote:

"Love equals a form of amnesia when a girl forgets there are 1.2 Billon other guys in tha world . "




Quote:

"When you got so much running through your mind you dont know what to do any more "

Followed by this gem a few hours later..

Quote:

"So sick of reading people's negative status stop writing it all over Facebook, go do something about it instead !!"

My sickest mix brah heaps of sick beatz u mirin? - http://soundcloud.com/johnbanana/gil...lipse-mix-2012
deck +

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Quote:

Wow can't believe it's been 2 years to the day since I had my car accident..

where has the time gone??


Embassy Clothing is a grassroots streetwear label that is dedicated to supporting children and youth organisations in Australia and across the globe, making a commitment to donate a percentage of profits from each sale to organisations in need.
fuziwuzi +

soup

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Ruthykins View Post

Just completed a barrel race.... One the first one and second in the next. Good fun :-)


from 30-something year old man who not only competes in barrel races (whatever they might be) but also doesn't know the difference between one and won. gah

i looked it up be because i hoped it was guys being chases and rolled over by big barrels :/

Media Player
So You Think Barrel Racing is Easy? Think Again. - YouTube

Quote:

Originally Posted by RunningWithScissors View Post

so it turned out that, yes, there will be dogs

SparklingSam +

Is it beer o'clock yet?

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Quote:

Originally Posted by every other person on facebook

Timeline is shit! Change it back!

yeah good luck with that.
You can't help that. We're all mad here
trippytrip +

om nom nom

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not my feed, but it sure is retarded:

Ruthykins +

Stay awake little missfit

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Oh yes! That girl for Prime Minister
Ya baloney
ezz_ +

fuck yeah nick cave

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wow, trippy. that's just... i don't even know.

this, from the bogan princess my estranged brother impregnated:

Quote:

That special moment when ya watchin ya kids sleeping u smile and say to ur self i created that. Proud much love my babies all 6 even the ones i cant watch sleep..... 3 outta 6 aint bad. N go the one not born yet im proud of u also.

the other three aren't in her custody. yep.
it only takes a fortnight to grow a decent beard
you can grow a beard twenty-six times in just a single year
it only takes a fortnight, and you know what else is true
i could grow three hundred and ninety beards before i'm over you
trippytrip +

om nom nom

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3 outta 6 ain't bad?

what is this, a cat and mouse game with DHS? (although i am assuming they're in state care, not the care of another parent)

either way, fuck
angelbel +

This bird you cannot change

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I've blocked her status updates from showing on my feed now but my cousin's wife is terrible. She updates her status about 10 times a day. Here are a few recent ones:

"So apparently I'm not a good drawer at the drawing game
Lol- you try drawing in an iPhone with 1 inch finger nails
Blooming boys- no understanding baaah haaaa"

"I'm losing it, I just looked at our puppy laying next to me on the lounge and I go, " ya tired?""
Seriously, wt???
I think I am lol"

"I want to delete you!!!!
Yes you!!!
Reallllly badly hahahahaha"

"My daughter and her friend were playing against my friends on the drawing game
My apologies for my apparent game ;/"

That's not to mention the hundred's where she is talking aobut the lingerie range she is an at-home saleswoman for.
Gentlemen, we just seized an airfield.
That was pretty fucking ninja.

Ruthykins +

Stay awake little missfit

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well that is a 50% "success" rate. If she were a casino game she'd probably be ... ahhh... heads or tails?
Ya baloney
tapout +

tapout 1, utes 0.

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Quote:

Originally Posted by ezz_ View Post

wow, trippy. that's just... i don't even know.

this, from the bogan princess my estranged brother impregnated:

the other three aren't in her custody. yep.

Bogans seem to love this sort of drama in their lives, it's like they view the sort of shit that happens on Home & Away as perfectly normal, and if that sort of drama doesn't exist in their lives currently they will go out of their way to create it, must be so exhausting!
Never be a spectator of unfairness or stupidity. Seek out argument and disputation for their own sake; the grave will supply plenty of time for silence
RunningWithScissors +

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THE COOLEST HOBBY
m_xt +

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idontgeddit.jpg
angelbel +

This bird you cannot change

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It's supposed to be cologne
Gentlemen, we just seized an airfield.
That was pretty fucking ninja.

m_xt +

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Carl ******
Loving my wife and carnt wate till my new baby boy comes


I bet the baby will be a sik carnt.
Check it ****s.
Soundcloud

LAZE
m_xt +

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Alice
Check it ****s.
Soundcloud

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Conor- +

Incorrectly using the semi colon; since 1996

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I hate you. Yes, you, get out of my life


Who???? DIRECT IT AT SOMEONE!!!
larrisajones +

boring. thanks ITM

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Quote:

Originally Posted by ezz_ View Post

wow, trippy. that's just... i don't even know.

this, from the bogan princess my estranged brother impregnated:



the other three aren't in her custody. yep.

Jesus christ.

Quote:

Originally Posted by andosound

Who needs Gossip Girl when we have the ITM forums

Quote:

woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

m_xt +

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Conor- View Post

I hate you. Yes, you, get out of my life


Who???? DIRECT IT AT SOMEONE!!!

-Pretend you thought it was aimed at you
-Respond and post results
-???
-Profit.
Check it ****s.
Soundcloud

LAZE
Twizard +

Life is like a bowl of rice

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Here are some more colon/cologne twitter ones:

http://www.sadanduseless.com/2012/04...J4fEZdXyA83.01

And this FB one I just can't get over..is a bit long though:

www.thechive.com/2012/02/23/girl-tattoos-boyfriend-of-1-week-on-her-arm-a-facebook-thread-ensues-12-photos/
LOKI'D!!

http://vimeo.com/41618569

Last edited by Twizard: 02-May-12 at 03:24pm

Reason: Had to make myself appear less noooobish

Conor- +

Incorrectly using the semi colon; since 1996

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I know we've been through this before but hashtags... on phasebook...

#ugh

Sometimes they don't even make sense. I'm afraid to post the status because it he is on ITM.
Onslaught +

I don't like you.

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Conor, you're underage, you can't possibly be blamed for your actions or posts.

So.....?
Conor- +

Incorrectly using the semi colon; since 1996

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He (or she, but probably a he ) starts with a D - does it frequently.

Oh, and from Rebecca Crimmins (the girl who threw the wet tampon at the Macca's drive-through guy), says this:
Rebecca Crimmins
RUN DMC. King of Rock!!

Last edited by Conor-: 10-May-12 at 06:41pm

smorchika +

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So sick of people putting up their life stories,and the blatant attempts at garnering sympathy. God I hate facebook.
worla +

STAT!

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To make marijuana against the law is like saying God made a mistake.

my sister just liked this post, kill me now.
i ate all your bee's.....
ratticus +

facebook.com/thepublicworksdepartment

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Kill her now IMO


Spoiler:
Nah, I'm just kidding, she's alright.
Spoiler:
Probably.

Permanent clearance by: #1-01
Twizard +

Life is like a bowl of rice

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LOKI'D!!

http://vimeo.com/41618569
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http://www.facebook.com/JonsonMG

Teehee

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Girlfriend: Babe, What's your favorite position?

Boyfriend: When I get on one knee and make you my wife ♥

Quote:

I wanna girlfriend so when im hanging with friends, i can point to her and be like "thats my girl." ♥

I am actually a fish
kasper_flip +

;_;

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looked at a few of his posts.
Friendzoned to the max.
lewbylew +

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Yeah hahaha, how about this one:

Quote:

Fuck sex i love your smile fuck fucking i just wanna cuddle for a while ^_^

I am actually a fish
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