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Retarded Facebook status updates that pop up in your feed #2

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Onslaught +

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"i'm sad, here are some song lyrics"
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Quote:

well i've discovered one of hunters "feral" triggers....friggin DORITOS!!!! OMG he's banned from them for LIFE never again will he ever eat those or any other chip he went from nice calm child to spastic feral devil boy.....gotta love preservatives NOT

OMG you mean those corn chips...the ones that are highly processed & filled with artificial colours & flavours aren't good for your small child? Well I'll be damned
Ya baloney
trippytrip +

om nom nom

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Quote:

Originally Posted by trAse View Post

Fuck I don't have any girls on Facebook that do that. 90% of the girls in my feed are like either 'I'M SAD HERE ARE SOME SONG LYRICS' or 'OMG I GOT MARRIED 4 YEARS AGO BUT I'M STILL FUCKING TALKING ABOUT IT'

srsly 90%?

fuck.
mischa21 +

yessum

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friend has this as their cover photo:



misspelled and fluffy bullshit. 2 strikes.

edit: Fuck

Last edited by mischa21: 20-Jul-12 at 03:52pm

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Using the word mispelled deserves a perma-ban.

Also what exactly is misspelt?



Edit: I'd rather people have a photo like that, than post 1 or 2 statuses are day saying stuff like that.
Annnnd I've seen a girl who has the "laugh as much as you breath" bit tattoo'd on her.
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The word 'breathe' should be used instead of 'breath'

Not incorrect spelling just the wrong word to use I guess.
My sickest mix brah heaps of sick beatz u mirin? - http://soundcloud.com/johnbanana/gil...lipse-mix-2012
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In this case, a retarded FB message:

Quote:

Hello,

We have been planning to kidnap you for a huge ransom payment,but we
can spare you the agony of the kidnap because you and or your loved
ones might be hurt or killed during the kidnap,but on the condition
that you will pay us off with $10,000 dollars only and we shall never
ever contact you again.

You will pay the money through Western Union Money Transfer to an
oversea receiver,i will give you the receiver name and his
city/country few minutes before you go to make the payment.Western
Union transfers takes 5 minutes to be available to the receiver once
the money is sent,i will only give you the receiver name and location
few minutes before you send the money.After giving you the receiver
name and location,if the receiver does not receive the money in 30
minutes time,we shall kill you and or your loved ones.

I know the first thing that will cross your miserable mind right now
is to report this message to the police,i don't need to warn you not
to report this message to the police,you can report to the police but
i give you my word and assurance 100% that if you dare report this to
the police,it will be the worst mistake you will ever make in your
entire low life because the police can not stop us,they can only delay
us for some time and when we shall strike there won't be a warning
message like this again,we shall just kidnap you and make you pay much
more higher than what he have adviced you to pay now and if you can't
pay that we shall kill you.

I also know that the second most stupid thing that will cross your
miserable mind right now is to ignore this message and see it is an
empty threat or internet scam,but i assure you that will be another
grave mistake for you to make because we are monitoring and stalking
you closely,if we don't get a reply from you 72 hours after you read
this message,we shall cancel our offer for a payoff and make you relax
and forget about this whole thing,but i promise you we shall strike at
a later date without warning,we shall take you unawares,then you shall
beg and beg for mercy but there will be no mercy till you pay from
your nose or pay with your life

Don't play or joke with your life mate,be wise! make the right choice!
reply as soon as possible and negotiate for a payoff,i assure you that
once you pay us off we shall never ever contact you again and all this
will just go away but if you ignore this message and see it as an
ordinary internet scam you will later regret this for the rest of your
life because we shall kill your loved one and later kill you too.

Reply as soon as possible and negotiate for a payoff!

Joe Bloggs

At least the final request for negotiation reads as affable!
trippytrip +

om nom nom

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da fuq?!
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ikr?

Mind you it was in my "other" message folder and when I saw it today, the message was sent some five weeks ago. So far, so good, they haven't killed me yet

(although my 72 reading time limit isn't up yet - I'll report back)

Wasn't this going around as a text scam in QLD recently?
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That prompted me to go through my own Other folder, only thing I found that wasn't from a promoter was sent over a year ago:

Quote:

hello there Tom. you appear cool.
email me. my emai is sweety@freemailboxonline.com to get my discreet pics.
make sure to send it there and not through FB.

ヽ༼ʘ̆ںʘ̆༽ ノ
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Heh... This just popped up in my news feed...

ヽ༼ʘ̆ںʘ̆༽ ノ
worla +

STAT!

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Is the Vin Diesel?
i ate all your bee's.....
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Press enter brah...
worla +

STAT!

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learn to read worla.
i ate all your bee's.....
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WTF is with all these this person has cancer like and share if you think blah blah. What you think a like on facebook is going to rid them of cancer? Fucking morons.
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Bumpy View Post

WTF is with all these this person has cancer like and share if you think blah blah. What you think a like on facebook is going to rid them of cancer? Fucking morons.

Chill. Take a good long breathe.
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Peppy View Post

Who needs porn when you have 20 year old girls with insecurity issues crying out for verification that they are DAYUM SEXAY

2. Balthazar B
Who cares about high school, we're gonna be rock stars !
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My mate's cray stock market playing stoner brother:

‎...What a Miss...What a Miss...SIR...Sirius Resources...Nickle & Gold...Has Been in our Database...it's an Explorer and Miner...did not buy it coz it had Debts...But the Fool!...But Me!...missed out on $50K profit...this week...Que Lastima!...
More like borophyl

Last edited by Poondaddy Shortbread: 28-Jul-12 at 03:35pm

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Is that the stock that went up 650% in a day recently?
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So it's rorschach and prozac and everything is groovy

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haha yeah
More like borophyl
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Something along the lines of

"OMG Nicki Minajs songs are so inspiring, make me want to be really good and go out and save the world and stuff"

Popped up in my feed.

Deleted.
LOKI'D!!

http://vimeo.com/41618569
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I have this chick in my feed .. she's about 19, and she has this "I got noked up wen I waz fiirteen an d dikhed ran off an leff me wif d fukn problm" friend who is clearly stuck at home with this ugly as fuck 3 - 4 year old son and nothing better to do. So at least once a day I see :

"19 year old chick and 16 others were tagged in 'Stay at home on the winnie blues' photo of an ugly child doing a fart."

So this poor 19 year old, who actually isn't half bad looking has PAGES of photos of this drop kicks ugly shit child tagged as her.
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Just saw this on the official coles fb page...
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say what now?

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Oh hai my favourite thread! Haven't been on here for a while so sorry for the long post. The sad thing is, all these happened recently so there has been plenty more crap since I was last on here but this stuff hurt my brain enough for one day.


I get a minimum of 10-15 pointless statuses from this girl a day. It's usually either that she's bored, her daughter is annoying her, something about home and away, or whinging about other people and what they post as statuses, and these.
4 v cans in less then 4 hrs = fukn pure bordem wtf i was thinkin !!!
Bahaha fuk off baron ... Next thing ya know she's fukd every guy (if not all ready done) ha and has to start crackin onto girls ! Lmfao seemed funny in my head lol
Sometimes I feel like I should b on jerry springer
Mums such a grump !! Lol yelling to clean up n shit yelling she needs smokes lol I'm like chil I'm moving out tomorrow ..


So I just found out this chick is going out with a kid who has just turned 18. She's 29 with 3 kids.
What cos I got no credit I'm the worst person in the world!!!!! FKN CHECK YOURSELF ****!!!!
Cry a fkn river!!! Pfft
U sit there with ur smile and act oh so innocent and think I have no idea what your doing...Bahaha hunni ur as fake as the Jewellery u wear!!!....10 steps ahead of u princess!!

Kirsty: NEXT PERSON TO BRING ME AND MY KIDS INTO THEIR SHIT IS GOING TO GET KNOCKED THE FUK OUT...U DIRTY DISRESPECTFUL PIECE OF SHIT U WANNA MAKE SURE U HAVE EYES IN THE BAK OF UR HEAD AT ALL TIMES COS I WONT FKN HOLD BAK ANYMORE!!!!
Laura: Meh more fuckin bullshit!! Fuckin little girls Tryin to play with the big girls #you'llgetknockedthefuckout!! #lessonoftheday.....go near my kids I'll do nasty things to your face!! And go near my wifey, well If she don't fuck your ass up then I'll eat your face!!! Yeah that's right cannibal lecter style


nugget: you best tellya boyy jayden to start makin hideouts cause if he keeps goin my little brother his gonna get a smashful, same with this clint maggot thinks that his top shit mockin my brother and my mother lucky you got kids else ill come rickrollin straight through the house he touches my brother one more time. ill not hesitate to force my way through an shred the ****. **** thats pretty much 20-21 shouldnt be hittin 14 yearolds. imbeing nice. but i can be a straight up **** if ya want me to be and ill tear the entire crawley st. to pieces.
Abby: You will not come to my house nugget if ya want jayden get him when aint near my kids and for clint i dont even talk to him so i dont no anything about that i dont understand why you are writing to me about this anyways isnt it jayden you want ?
Abby: And ben and che shouldnt have walked into my hpuse into my kids room kicking someone thats under a blanket that could have been my son lucky it wasnt aye


Jmara: Cilla you teethless gut less dog i'm going to fucking smash you you **** for every time you an your fucking kids pissed me off the dumb dog tried to get me out of tyler's car last night to sit on the back seat lmfao no **** you sit in the back i was best friends with tyler's older sister all through school i knew him long before you ever did an any way i aint moving for you your nothing but a slut fucking two guy's in one day is not an odd thing for you to do dont even let the sheet's cool down before your asking the next guy in i should have gotten out of the fucking car an slammed your head in to the tree last night might have improved your face you gutless whore you know i was talking about bottleing you last night to tyler you was sitting rite there an didn't say a thing about it i'm after you now **** so be ready because i'm waiting an i dont give a fuck about you ya kids or the fucking law no more bitch

Jmara: LMFAO THAT THE JUNKIE EX TOLD ME THE OTHER DAY AT THE BACK OF SAFEWAY'S HE IS TAKING ME TO COURT OVER JASON LOL honey i'll go to jail for cutting your throat an guttin You like a deer before i watch You walk away with MY son I WOULD MUCH RATHER JASON AN CIARA TO GROW UP WITH KAHLIA AN ME IN JAIL THEN HAVE EM GROWING UP SPENDING ANY TIME ALONE WITH YOU YA JUNKIE PARASITE i thought we were through now fuck off dog adam
You have fucked up everyone's life You have ever cared about i'll kill You before i let You come even close to fucking up my kids life! MY SON HAS NO FATHER SO FUCK OFF WITH YOUR DNA
And any ways You have fucking son You had him with your ex ella remember go an fucking look after him an your new born son before You go fucking around with my life and MY son OMG I'M GUNNA KILL THIS ****!
Sue: its ok Mara there are plenty of places for Jay to hide he would never get his hands on him...
Mel: Cause while you were up here he had sooo much to do with him hey! What a wanker
Jmara: thanks mummy i love knowing your always there for my babys, if anything ever happened to me i would be so happy knowin they are with you or kahlia... xoxox
an yeh true mel all his life never jason thinks steveen is his an is quite happy with out a junbkie maggot in his life...
Mel: Yep and Steve had always treated him as his own.
Steven: are u fuckin serious, i'll kill the **** myself if he tries to take Jason frm u. gud 4 nothin piece of shit shud crawl back in the fucken hole he came out of

Jmara: ♥ sending lots of love out there for all up single mum's with out all of our beautiful baby's to curl up with an keep mum company xoxo
Rachael: ...Hows about sendin some love to us single mums doin it even tougher with our kids on us all day, everyday n nite
Jmara: If you want to send love to them then do it on your own status this is my stat i been a single mum for years breast feeding while i'm pushing the trolley holding a baby seat and eight suit cases on the public transport to move me an my kids atm my kids are at there nan's house so i send love to the mums Out there that aint with there kids because i miss mine but i'm sick so i cant look after them ok
You want my status to change well go make your own then!
You want to talk about single mum's that's doing it hard i was homeless with two children my youngest was 1 years old and i was working full time nine to five i know what It's like being a single mum trying to maintain the house an attend to your child's request but that's not what i'm talking about in this stat ok
Rachael: U would b surprised darlin how many of us have been in very simillar situations as u and in some cases even worse off coz not all of us have had any family there at all to help us out like ur fortunate enough to have.. Thats at least one thing for u to be grateful for jmara
Jmara: This is nothing about me being greatful, an you got no rite to tell any one about what to be greatful about in their lives lest of all me thanks. Do you honestly think i'm that un educated to think there isn't hundreds of thousands of people out there doing it worst of then me?
Look like i said It's my stat an your completely taking it out of context an talking bout shit it aint got nothing to do with!


tl;dr? People I know are fucking stupid.
yeah, that's freakin profound....

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I bet she still collects the child support of that guy though lol.

That's about as feral as a bogan comes. I'm kind of curious to see what she looks like.
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Quote:

MY SON HAS NO FATHER SO FUCK OFF WITH YOUR DNA

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yep, making public death threats is always a good idea.
red is the new blu
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Quote:

Originally Posted by worla View Post

learn to read worla.

I ate all your bee's what?
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Not a facebook status, but a youtube comment, it should fit right in here though.

JUSTIN BIEBER IS THE ONLY REAL SINGER IN THE WORLD! HE IS CREATED TO MAKE WORL BETTER PLACE! IF YOU ARE CLASSY AND COOL YOU GONNA LISTEN ONLY HIS MUSIC, THAT IS MUSIC FOR PERSONS WITHE BEST MUSIC TASTE(LIKE ME)

NOW LITTLE ABAUT ME: I AM BIGIEST EDUCATION EDUCATED PERSON, EVERYONE IN SCIENTIFIC WORLD RESPECT ME! ALBERT EINSTAIN AND I ARE WORKING TOGETHER. MOTZART IZ MY MUSIC TEACHER! I AM NOT VIRGIN=SOOPERCOOL AMD GUYS LOVE ME!


p.s. Albert Einstain :science:
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^ lolschizophrenia
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I'm so greatful for thiz thred
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Leading to some debate about whether facebook is private or public. Obviously I vote public.
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;_;

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Sick of sitting on the train listening to 50 different fucking languages! You no how to speak english so fucking speak it!

i... i don't even.
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I hate that mentality, its horrible. How sad their life must be, devoid of the rich opportunities and experiences in a multicultural/multilingual world.
Monolingualism is soooooo boring.
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fuck off **** get an ipod and stop trying to eavesdrop on other people's conversations
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I love hearing different languages on the train, it sometimes blends together and creates a beautiful song of sorts.

Also I don't have to hear the mundane shit that is other people's lives.
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Retarded Facebook status happening right now: All Big Brother related ones.

I can barely stomach the fact that people intentionally watch non-digital FTA TV, but people that intentionally watch BIG BROTHER?

Fuck this plain of existence.
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if you watch sbs late at night long enough you'll soon be able to understand them.
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9 year old me could understand them, because he didn't have access to the internet.
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Quote:

Originally Posted by B_e_de View Post

Fuck this plain of existence.

very witty double entendre in your typo there
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Quote:

Originally Posted by B_e_de View Post

Retarded Facebook status happening right now: All Big Brother related ones.

I can barely stomach the fact that people intentionally watch non-digital FTA TV, but people that intentionally watch BIG BROTHER?

Fuck this plain of existence.

last night there was FTA non-digital had reality TV on every commercial channel. 10 - some dancing thing, 9-BB, 7-amazing race... even SBS had mythbusters which is close enough to idiot TV.

... back to facebook...



I know it's a marketing stunt, but fuck me some of the comments were funny.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tristan View Post

well done sofu, perhaps your most offensive post yet!

Last edited by Bracko: 14-Aug-12 at 03:42pm

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People liking photos saying 'Like this if you shower everyday'.

Come.
On.
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Bracko View Post

last night there was FTA non-digital had reality TV on every commercial channel. 10 - some dancing thing, 9-BB, 7-amazing race... even SBS had mythbusters which is close enough to idiot TV.

... back to facebook...

WOW! There is still FTA non-digital? They cut off the signal in June for our region.

Also, why the fuck werent any of you watching How To Train Your Dragon?
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it's Adelaide, they won't cut it off for another 20 years down here.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tristan View Post

well done sofu, perhaps your most offensive post yet!

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twisted elegance... your facebook friends make me feel so so so much better about my life... thanks
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Onslaught View Post

WOW! There is still FTA non-digital? They cut off the signal in June for our region.

Also, why the fuck werent any of you watching How To Train Your Dragon?


i was watching that, then I got bored so I started playing wii instead
This is no love song and it serves no use, but if you want to sing along to some verbal abuse
It might make you feel better and it's good for the soul, take four letters and let's rock n roll
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Conor- View Post

People liking photos saying 'Like this if you shower everyday'.

Come.
On.

yeah a better one would be "unfriend me if you don't shower every day"
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Quote:

Originally Posted by liberabit View Post

i was watching that, then I got bored so I started playing wii instead

Was it this game?

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i had not seen that game before
This is no love song and it serves no use, but if you want to sing along to some verbal abuse
It might make you feel better and it's good for the soul, take four letters and let's rock n roll
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