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Reality: To be or not to be? The Adventures of Dr Shroom

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Reality: To be or not to be? The Adventures of Dr Shroom
The following series of posts were inspired by a masters research student who has government funding to search for extraterrestrial life. His theory is that mushroom spores can survive in outer space and they may have travelled to earth on comets or by cosmic winds from other star systems. By consuming the mushrooms that grow from the spores we are able to tap into the DNA of the cosmic subconcious and supposedly communicate with the aliens whilst we are tripping. It just so happens that the spores from outer space are of the psychedelic variety. There wouldn't be too much communication happening I suppose, if they were say....death caps. Anyway....

If you don't like long posts...click the back button now!

Before you read on though, you must make a decision....reality: to be or not to be? What IS real and what is hallucination (ie: your very own distorted perception of reality)?
Reality: To be or not to be? The Adventures of Dr Shroom (and Captain Jones)

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From the thread "What gets you going" 15-Apr-02
Alice got SHRUNK in wonderland after she ate some mushrooms. Amanita Muscaria is the variety if you go by the pictures (you know...the big red ones with the little white dots?).....

…..it all came out of my cranium. True, I was the one who named the mushroom variety Amanita Muscaria after testing it in one of my former lives....yep, that former life didn't last very long after that, just long enough to scribble the species name down onto some scrap paper along with my confession of never-ending love to my wife at the time (hang on, she was a bitch, damn it, must have been tripping hard at the time). Oh what a disastrous expedition to Madagascar that was back in 1812. Captain Jones was devoured by a huge maneating insect of some sorts....the horror...the horror .........


The ghost of Captain Jones speaking here through didj-freak’s cyberspace alias:
"Dr Shroom (didjeridude’s past life), I wasn't devoured by a huge maneating insect you fool! You hallucinated that aswell and when you tried to rescue me with your goddam elephant gun you mistook me for the insect and shot me instead".
Reality: To be or not to be? The Adventures of Dr Shroom (and Captain Jones)

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From the thread "Tracks that died a fast death " 17-Apr-02
Yes, I remember a time when Captain Jones and I came across some tracks that died a very fast death, and by geezus, almost smoked me too. We were travelling on the newly constructed trans-Siberia railway in 1805 to a remote area in search of the last remaining great white woolly mammoth. "Dr Shroom, what is that up ahead, the railway tracks seem to dissappear?" Captain Jones said to me. By geezus by crikey Captain Jones, the tracks do look as though they've dissappeared. But what Captain Jones failed to realise was that we had indeed discovered the last remaining, great white woolly mammoth. It was eating the tracks and our train was headed straight for its clutches. "Jump Captain Jones!" I hollered to him. But oh what a disaster, he was frozen stiff with fear, so I pushed him out myself....unfortunately straight into the jaws of the terrible beast who devoured the Captain with a single bite...the horror...the horror I jumped, the train crashed and I smite the beast with my trusty elephant gun. The tracks of Captain Jones died a brutaly fast death that day.....

But luckily, I still had enough opium left for a few pipes during the long walk home.
Reality: To be or not to be? The Adventures of Dr Shroom (and Captain Jones)

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From the thread "Forest Rave" 1-May-02
In addition to Lo-Ki's wicked set, Stalker and Govinda also played amazing sets. Not many people left to hear Govinda play though.

But yes, the forest was indeed chilly.....the darkness was punctured only by the flames of the rogue fires...."stay close Captain Jones or you will be lost in this thick scrub" I whispered to my trusty companion, "and by geezuz by crikey, keep quiet or those fire weilding natives may have you for breakfast". We spied their strange painted faces and twirling ceremonial dance through the trees. "Dr Shroom, they must be performing the secret peyote shamanic ritual, this is amazing, we are the first to witness it...I'm going to move closer".......But oh what a disaster...."not that way you bumbling fool" I yelled....Captain Jones walked straight into a booby trap!! His body was flung high above the cermonial fires and straight into the centre of the natives angry staring glares. What happened next I cannot describe.....the horror...the horror ...I dared not move until the morning....I awoke to a strange smell...No it cannot be....is that Captain Jones boot hanging from the end of the cooking carcass across the spit?
Reality: To be or not to be? The Adventures of Dr Shroom (and Captain Jones)
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From the infamous thread "What to do in Canberra...." 15-May-02
Ah yes, the 20 foot kangaroo.....

We'd heard the reports from Van Diemans Land about the enormous mystical creature with two gigantic paws and a huge tail. If my memory serves me correct (it has been almost 150 years you know), the colonists called it "the bunyip". Captain Jones and I arrived in Melbourne in August 1860, and were fortunate enough to meet two intrepid explorers named Burke and Wills about to set off on a momentus journey. "what great luck for us Dr Shroom, they'll take us straight into the centre region where this bunyip creature is rumoured to live" said Captain Jones.
After many months of travel with Burke and Wills we reached the northern side of the land but had found no trace of the creature. On the return journey south we found Burke to show increasing signs of delerium and he was a terrible expedition leader anyway, so I put my foot down "by geezus by crikey, your leading us in circles Burke, we'll all starve to death out here if we keep following your lead man. Captain Jones, we'll go this way, you fools can do as you please". "How dare you" Burke retorted, and rushed me with his axe, but oh what a disaster....Captain Jones stepped in to defend me from the outraged and delirious Burke and the axe came plummeting down straight through the centre of his skull....the horror...the horror I swiftly pulled out my trusty elephant gun and unloaded an entire round on the bedeviled soul. That was the end of that argument anyway. Poor Wills, wasn't such a bad fellow, stupid idea to try and defend that idiot Burke from my elephant gun though.

On my long return journey back south I became weak from lack of food, but I was befriended by a group of natives. I stayed with them for several months until I was strong again and during that time they introduced me to a strange, but beautiful woodwind instrument of theirs. It made a deep and mysterious resonating sound, so I named it after that sound. I took it with me back to civilisation and introduced the world to a new musical instrument. The didjeridu.
Reality: To be or not to be? The Adventures of Dr Shroom (and Captain Jones)

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From the thread "The Bird!.. ?" 27-July-02
Legend has it that "The Bird" is actually the last remaining descendant of a group of dinosaurs that survived the holocaust. Captain Jones and I dismissed the legend as heresay until we confirmed the existence of the surviving group when we discovered an unusual collection of bones near the town of "Havana" on the Island of Cuba in 1825. The locals believed a large winged creature still lived in a remote valley where the Spanish conquistadors never returned from on their expeditions several hundred years earlier. So in 1828, we returned to the Island in search of "The lost bird of Havana".

"Dr Shroom, perhaps the Spanish conquistators found gold in this valley and thats why they never returned to Havana!" remarked Captain Jones. "My dear Captain, you forget the report of Hernandez made in 1525.....OH MY GOD!!" We came across of ghastly sight. "Its a graveyard Dr Shroom! And the bones...they, they are human". "Yes Captain, and how very interesting. Nearby are also...Captain?....Captain?.....JONES?...where the hell are you man?". Just then, I heard a deathly (but muffled) screech from above.... the horror...the horror. Captain Jones' head was fully engulfed in the gullet of a monstrous winged creature. "CAPTAIN JONES" I yelled, "REACH YOUR ARMS AROUND THE CREATURE'S THROAT AND SQUEEZE.....THEN IT WON'T BE ABLE TO EAT YOU". But oh, what a disaster. Captain Jones' arms were not long enough and he squeezed the throat of the beast where his own head was lodged and choked himself to death. Then the creature turned south and neither it nor Captain Jones were to be seen again.

Anyway, the expedition was not a complete waste of time, "....nearby...." there were some rather interesting looking species of funghi.....
Reality: To be or not to be? The Adventures of Dr Shroom (and Captain Jones)

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From the thread "Cats!" 8-Aug-02

Quote:

Originally posted by wilhomeena
my cat was nuts. he used to hide in the bushes and then do a flying star jump type leap out onto the leg of any passerby. It used to keep him amused for days...

And well fed no doubt. In late 1845, several people apparently went missing from a remote mountain village near the southern border of Colombia adjoining Brazil. Locals had become fearful of the mysterious "flying black panther" as they went about their daily cocoa leaf harvests in the plantations nearby the jungle. Now the jaguars in the lower Amazon basin were not known for leaping, but in the cocoa jungles of the mountain region an unusual sub-species existed. "Do you believe their stories Dr Shroom? Could a black panther really fly like they say, and strike down its prey from above?". Remarked Captain Jones. "I suspect not Captain", I replied, "the tree dwelling jaguar has a mighty leap, but it cannot fly. And besides, these locals seem like a pretty hyperactive bunch, perhaps they are prone to exaggeration. Eat some more of those leaves and stop bothering me with silly questions"

"OKIcanseewhythelocalpeopleeattheseleavesDrShroomt hey'requitetastywouldyoulikesometoobecauseI'vegotl otsbutyou...."

"Slow down man...you're talking way too fast....." Just then a black shape moved up ahead. I whipped out my trusty elephant gun and fired a shot - missed - but it was a black panther alright! The creature lept out of the tree and moved away rapidly to the east.

"letsafteritDrShroomI'vegotplentyofenergywe'llcatc hitsoonenougsirmarkmywords....."

"What? wait on Captain...where are you going?" I yelled "slow down or you'll get heat stroke man". But alas, Captain Jones was out of sight already. Many hours later I came across the Captain. He had captured the black panther and tied it up!! What an amazing feat of stamina...well done!! But oh what a disaster. His withered and melted body lay lifeless, with a handful of cocoa leaves still stuffed in his mouth while the panther feasted upon...'gasp' the horror, the horror. Oh well, a disappointing end to the day for the Captain, but at least he had displayed some initiative and enthusiasm.
Reality: To be or not to be? The Adventures of Dr Shroom (and Captain Jones)

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From the thread "Friday Space Cake" 20-Sep-02
After my last expedition to the Amanita Muscaria fields of southern Madagascar, Captain Jones and I decided to go on a journey to the Upsilon Andromedae system, about 50 light years away. I met some friendly people there and informed them about Ug Beats at Aree Bar on Friday 20th Sept 2002. They sounded enthusiastic and said they will try to make it, cause they know its a pumpin party. Anyway, they also told me to inform Cristiano Cosmovici of the Institute for Cosmic and Planetary Sciences in Rome that he should point his radio telescope in their direction to make an interesting discovery. So I wrote a brief communication to Cristiano and left it with the caretaker at the Institute in Rome before my untimely death in the late 19th Century. Well, finally, 150 years later Cristiano has come up with the goods.....

Quote:

Signs of water found on distant planets
11:19 19 September 02
Tantalising signs of water have been found in the atmospheres of planets orbiting distant stars. If the discovery is confirmed, it will fuel speculation that the Galaxy is teeming with life.

"This would be a historic discovery - the first detection of a prebiotic molecule in an extrasolar planet," says Cristiano Cosmovici of the Institute for Cosmic and Planetary Sciences in Rome, whose team made the discovery.

Reality: To be or not to be? The Adventures of Dr Shroom (and Captain Jones)

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And finally, I would like to post a photo of Dr Shroom and Captain Jones. Here they are in a fine haze of psychedelia...

Dr Shroom is on the left wearing his favourite safari suit and the Captain is on the right (well ahead of his time since planes weren't even invented until the 20th century).

Reality: To be or not to be? The Adventures of Dr Shroom (and Captain Jones)
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man i don't think i wanna go doing mushies with you didj.... we never had any adventures like that.. we just came to the realisation that we could be dead and not even know it... no crazy elephant gun antics for us
that gusface grillah site is amazing
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Dude, That's hilarious.
I particularly like the very fast transition into Shroomland stories from whatever thread you are in. Nice.

Man... Dr Shroom looks like he's trippin hard, and what the fuck!?!
Captian Jones is wearing goggles and he's almost become completely transparent... those guys need to slow down!
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How fabulous to see Dr Shroom and Captain Jones at last...Captain Jones is rather like Kenny from South Park. He just keeps coming back! :tripping:
"I go from episode to episode trying to accomplish one thing...GETTING INTO THE FUTURE." - zedz
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[COLOR=dark-blue]didge, i like you. [/color]
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ok i didnt read it all cos its late and i will when i get up later today and have a nice cup of coffee...but

"What IS real and what is hallucination?" i think moxey sums it up sooo well

"it just is."
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hahhaa, didjmeister... you crazy foo!!! I am journeying to amsterdam soon.... muahhahaaaaaa.. myes.
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So yeah... Didge is back in town.
A: Because it reverses the logical flow of conversation.
Q: Why is top posting frowned upon?
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omfg, I would love to see crowie or gav try to read that now... :offchops:
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hehe.. awesome.
& thats one of my fave pics
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I feel like breakdancing.
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Great post, who are you? You know I am sick of editing my post's to not show the signiture
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can't believe I didn't see this earlier - nice one Didj
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me too :blush:
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I know it.
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Ahhh, the intrepid Dr Shroom back in effect. How positively delightful!
"I go from episode to episode trying to accomplish one thing...GETTING INTO THE FUTURE." - zedz
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edit by palu: off topic comments removed

Last edited by palu: 08-Mar-05 at 09:28am

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What the hell has that go to do with this thread?

signed Confused and Horny. Please write back.
A: Because it reverses the logical flow of conversation.
Q: Why is top posting frowned upon?
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Quote:

Originally Posted by mayfield

So wait... are the superfriends friends mainly through taking drugs together or the internet..... I'm confused. Or is it a combination of both? Please friends, enlighten me


A lot opf people on here are friends with each other. just friends, you know, people that like hanging out together and like each other. it's really not that lofty or interesting a concept.
"You a Happy Meal nigga with a toy in the box,
I clap the steel, nigga, put ya boy in a box."
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Mayfield, time for some new material buddy. getting a bit old.
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yeah, don't ruin the most amusing thread i've ever read on here...maybe even on the internet itself!

you are a funny funny man didgidude ... poor captain jones
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