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9-5 thread VII: The Empire of the Arrogant Coont with the Tipped Hat Strikes Back

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Holy balls that interview with Brad Pitt on the project was cringecheese
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whats cringecheese.
cringe sounds bad.
but cheese sounds excellent.
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Kinda sounds as bad as dickcheese.
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if i could grow dickcamembert id never wash.

and id eat it.
just sayin.
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Hey everyone this guys a phoney.

He's a phaggot.
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new Italian girl started today, i'v been given free reign over who to hire,

was going to hire all girls, but i'v found, as awesome as it is, they always start fighting / get emotional heaps. Good to have 50/50 ratio with dudes.

Going to hire a dude who is better looking than me, but not funnier. Or the other way around. Needs to be a 50/50, so there is good workplace flirting going around. If he is too ugly or too hot, it just won't work.

anyway,
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Originally Posted by borrisGLOWSTICK View Post

Life trainwreck stories, bewbs, mod angering drug implicated posts and 2fast2furious only.

Quote:

Originally Posted by mliro View Post

that’s terrible spastic
also I would imagine a little disheartening that he has never attempted to drug rape you?

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You think too much into it peaks.
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cbf doing all that just for some std infested poon.
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STDs are future selfs problem.
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Liene is going for a girls night out of drinking, hair braiding, scissoring or whatever it is girls do when they go out together...most likely complain about their husbands..../cough


So i am having a boys night in...alone...playing video games but i will be drinking Baratheon themed beers


Crazy people are ace doorslammers.



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I drink alcoholic themed beers

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mlirosi brought forth mugs.

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so borris is it a...
<glasses on>
stag night?


i'll get my coat...
RIP SGU
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Quote:

Originally Posted by i am an alias View Post

mlirosi brought forth mugs.

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hows things going mils man... havent been around much lately, has everyone got over their butthurt?
RIP SGU
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No I don’t think they have, its cold and lonely in here, the days pass by slowly,to be honest I’m not even sure what day it is anymore they have started blending into the monotony that has now become a room of beige, sometimes I go hours without human contact even days.

But I sit here waiting for 9-5 to return to its glory days, where we broke bread and discussed donut pressing dolphins, shared stories of trips abroad, drinking our own piss and yes stories of bush weddings.

9-5 has now taken a post-apocalyptic form…but will one day rise to the heights it once reached*

*it should be noted that the heights it once reached where not all that high

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ah the winter of ITMs discontent...

will it be made glorious summer by this star of gazer?

and all the clouds that low'r'd upon this forum

In the deep bosom of the ocean buried....


Nay... i'm still busy...
RIP SGU
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the summer has been long. therefore the winter will be longer.
winter is coming.
at the centre of life
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and never looking back
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winter is here innit?
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yes kanni...yes it is

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mlirosi brought forth mugs.

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...
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Wear four layers in winter so chicks think I am buff, come summer, they don't give a stuff.
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Ah she was no good, and no good speak english. Got a dude starting today who I am going to secretly mould as my replacement, hope he is alright.

Shaved my head at an ethnic hairdresser in the city, it looks ok I guess. You can't pull fewer than zero girls anyway, so I figure i have nothing to lose
Spoiler:

Quote:

Originally Posted by borrisGLOWSTICK View Post

Life trainwreck stories, bewbs, mod angering drug implicated posts and 2fast2furious only.

Quote:

Originally Posted by mliro View Post

that’s terrible spastic
also I would imagine a little disheartening that he has never attempted to drug rape you?

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All right, story time then.

Once, in a previous life when I didnt know what to really do with myself, I became an insurance investigator. It was a shit job, for low pay and required me to travel long distances to far off lands.

On one such occasion, I was off in the squalid little down of Narramie. I cant remember if that is how you spell it, but as you will see later, I am not a fan of the place overly much so fuck it if it is wrong.

While in this shitty little place, full of stray mangy dogs and strayer and mangier teenagers, I was investigating some shit beak's likely bogus workers compensation claim. Old mate was lying through his teeth about being hurt on the job, apparently, and after a brief discussion I got what I needed and went for a beer and a counter meal.

After a few beers, I started talking to a bunch of Kiwis who were in town for some country footy match. They were nice enough and we had a good chat for a while.

I got up to leave and was followed out of the pub by a couple of blokes, whoquickly demanded to know what I was doing in town. After mumbling about insurance to these buck toothed hayseeds, I realised I was in for a kicking - either they hated my not in bred features or, less likely, they realised that I was about to do their mate out of his ill earned fraudulent compo and thought that giving me a boot about the head might change things.

So our hero backed himself against a wall and shook off his watch and prepared to give at least one of them something to remember me by, when a ute pulled up and 2 more blokes joined them. One had a shirt on thay said 'Naramie - a friendly town' or something, which felt a bit ironic.

Being in no state to understand irony, my bucolic chums took a step closer and were about to start in earnest when an Auckland accented saviour bellowed 'what are you ****a doing to our mate?', followed by the street lights being blotted out by the sun as the forward pack edged out onto tje pavement. One of them had a glass ashtray in his hand and another a pool cue.

With a rallying cry of 'eat dicks, you fucking kiwis' battle was joined. Very quickly though, superior size beat some sense into some fairly dim minds and they fucked off down the street, nursing some bruised egos and battered faces.

The Kiwis and I went back to the bar and I shouted another couple of rounds.

Then I drove for about 100ks and slept in my car, because I would risk a DUI over getting bashed anyday.m

Last edited by Fangoriously: 13-Jun-13 at 02:34pm

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where's the climax to the story?
there has to be more to it than that!

i was waiting for some epic tale
at the centre of life
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always right
and never looking back
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and then....

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mlirosi brought forth mugs.

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oh i get it, we all get to add to it, right?

"....anyway... old shit beak had no money on him for a variety of reasons. His pregant gf had been cheating on him with his best mate and he became the butt of all jokes every night in the bongshed. This forced shitbeak into a deep depression, only being consoled by either lexia or victoria, the only two girls who dripped more juice over mens' mouths than his gf....."

...
Spoiler:

Quote:

Originally Posted by borrisGLOWSTICK View Post

Life trainwreck stories, bewbs, mod angering drug implicated posts and 2fast2furious only.

Quote:

Originally Posted by mliro View Post

that’s terrible spastic
also I would imagine a little disheartening that he has never attempted to drug rape you?

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Sorry, published it halfway by mistake
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Spoiler:

Quote:

Originally Posted by borrisGLOWSTICK View Post

Life trainwreck stories, bewbs, mod angering drug implicated posts and 2fast2furious only.

Quote:

Originally Posted by mliro View Post

that’s terrible spastic
also I would imagine a little disheartening that he has never attempted to drug rape you?

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aah there is the story i hope for.
wow.. were you scared?
at the centre of life
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always right
and never looking back
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Very. There was a very real chance I could have been beaten pretty damn badly.
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how long ago was it?
how do you pronounce the town you were in?

thank god for the kiwi's huh.
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9, 10 years ago? Um. It wad pronounced Na ruh my and was about 100ish ks from Wagga.

Yes. If it wasnt for them I wouldnt be the erudite chap I am today.
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not narrandaerra?
pronounced nuh-ran-drah
or commonly mispronounced naar-ran-derra
at the centre of life
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Oh shit thats it. Nuh ran drah.

Naramie is where I went to a B&S ball while searching for some soldiers who went AWOL. Which is another epic story, but for another time as typing on a tablet sucks.
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i thought it sounded like narranderra. been there plenty of times. best swimming pool in the country. when growing up in a nearby shithole.
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I pictured that story happening in the wild west

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someone contiinue one of the stories IMO
Spoiler:

Quote:

Originally Posted by borrisGLOWSTICK View Post

Life trainwreck stories, bewbs, mod angering drug implicated posts and 2fast2furious only.

Quote:

Originally Posted by mliro View Post

that’s terrible spastic
also I would imagine a little disheartening that he has never attempted to drug rape you?

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continue your story...lets see what I can muster up

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fark... my examination results have been emailed to my supervisor, but I know he is not in his office... this is killing me...
RIP SGU
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hack his pc?
do you know his password?
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Quote:

Originally Posted by pEAkeR_hAT View Post

oh i get it, we all get to add to it, right?

"....anyway... old shit beak had no money on him for a variety of reasons. His pregant gf had been cheating on him with his best mate and he became the butt of all jokes every night in the bongshed. This forced shitbeak into a deep depression, only being consoled by either lexia or victoria, the only two girls who dripped more juice over mens' mouths than his gf....."

...

"…What the town didn’t know was that old shit beak (also known as Kenny Linder) used to be a driver in the pro-stock circuit tour. Last race of the season he was coming into the final turn when he accidently tapped the rear bumper of another driver and put him straight into the wall and 120 miles p/h. his son was in the crowd he watched his father burn to death. About a week later the son, who went by the name of named Domenic toretto saw Linder, toretto had a wrench in his hand and he hit him! Toretto claims He didn’t mean to keep hitting him but by the time he was finished he couldn’t lift his arms. Linder is now a janitor at an elementary school he takes the bus to work….toretto was banned from the tracks for life…"

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hack his pc?
do you know his password?

called his mobile, he said he'll call at 5.... so I've started drinking...
RIP SGU
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whats the drink choice for a thursday?
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And then I woke up and it was all a dream.
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red wine, mainly cause my sister is drinking it after finishing her last exam for the semester, plus dont want to be drunk when he calls... but after, well that'll call for a single malt, pity all I have is a 12 year old glenlivet (actually its one of my faves)
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red, red wiiiiiiine
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Quote:

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whats the drink choice for a thursday?

fucking rainwater today most likely.
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urg this weather is giving me the cranks
at the centre of life
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oh yeah but the real answer is. section8 - mulled wine. makes life awesome on a day like this.
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hmmm.. may have a glass of red with dinner tonight. warm my up a little
at the centre of life
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