- Joined
- Mar '01
- Times thanked
<
0
- Posts
- 298
|
"DO you like Paul van Dyk?"
"DO you like Paul van Dyk?"
To: mastermind@explizit.org
Subject: "DO you like Paul van Dyk?"
From: "jason b_"
Date: Wed, 31 Jan 2001 23:49:32 +1100
Reply-To: mastermind@explizit.org
Sender: owner-mastermind@explizit.org
AN EYEWITNESS ACCOUNT OF THE TWO CONSCIOUS MEETINGS OF LJB WITH PvD.
"Do you like Paul van Dyk?' the freak asked me in a wide eyed way. He did
the pocket mimicking action, and I recognised him from before.
As I wiped my forehead, the sweat dripped into the shiny darkness of the
floor, and disappeared.
"Yes!" I said.
"I love For an Angel...."
"...and I have his 3 CD set of remixes 1992 to 1998, Vorspung Dyk Technic!",
I added in an ecstatic sentence.
I looked at him as my heartrate gradually moved closer to normal. He wasn't
blonde and tall.
I looked across to the bar, and tested the weight of the water bottle in my
pocket.
"What does Paul van Dyk look like" he asked again, in his strange German
accent.
I wiped my forehead again, and tried to get the tune of "For an Angel" out
of my head, as DJ Nervous had only just finished it.
"Well, I guess he looks PALE, since I think he is English, a resident at
gatecrasher." I said.
The stranger stared at me, and since he didn't have a follow up question, I
headed towards the bar, to replace some fluids. He somehow held my feet to
the floor, and I could not move until I gave him one of my cards, which he
took, looked at, and then gave me a silly grin before I continued.
This was the stranger, with the German accent, and dark clothing, who had
done the weird pocket mimicking action as I had retrieved my cloakroom
ticket from my pocket, a couple of hours ago, at Sublime
www.sublime.net.au , my regular haunt on Pitt Street, Sydney. I had spoken
to him then, and he had obviously followed me here.
He was obviously one of the harmless first time ecstacy users that watched
me when I danced, or perhaps just a freak. They are all harmless. They
just watch. They don't try to chat you up. They just watch, usually with a
cute pathetic puppy dog stare.
We were now at D-Tox, the pavillion, a Day Club on George Street, Sydney,
which had been going for a couple of hours, and would keep going until noon
on this Sunday morning.
I kept dancing, until noon. I love to dance. The techno/ trance/ house
tracks continued with an intensity that surpassed the quality of the sound
system. That makes thirteen hours of dancing (13). from when sublime
opened at 11pm Saturday night, until 12pm Sunday Noon, when d-tox closed.
As the dancefloor suddenly became quiet, and the lights stopped flashing,
and the house lights came on, I sipped my water bottle, and moved
purposefully towards the steps, and decended. There was hardly anyone else
I knew still here, so I moved out the door, put on my sunglasses, and walked
into the midday Sunday sun.
I walked a couple of blocks, across the quiet Sunday morning streets of
Sydney, towards the car park. Past the internet cafe's and the 7-11
convenience stores. When I reached my car, I unlocked the door, reclined
the seat, locked the door, and closed my eyes.
I would drive home shortly, but why not rest a few minutes in the quietness
of the carpark until then?
As I drifted into sleep, after 13 hours of dancing, I did not notice the
freak who had followed me into the carpark. I slept as HE stared through
the tinted windows of my SAAB 900 turbo. The number plate on my car, since
1997, LJB-99E, referred to the election in 1999, not anything else (at that
time).
I returned home later sunday afternoon, a 90 to 120 minute drive north, from
Sydney to Lake Macquarie. I slept that Sunday night, and did not think this
weekend was anything special. Pretty much like any other. Intense and
action packed, but like many others.
A couple of months later,
on a Sunday evening 10 pm, at the Greenwood, at North Sydney, DJ Nervous
handed me a flyer, and asked "Are you coming to the Paul van Dyk concert?",
one of his Plastic Boombastic productions.
Nervous said this with such beaming intensity, that I walked past my old
(young) promoter friend Josh. I said to Nervous "Yes, I already have my
ticket." He smiled at me. He knew I loved Paul van Dyk's tracks,
especially "For an Angel" and my all time favourite "1998".
A very expensive ticket it was too, almost $70, more than the cost of the
three CD set vorsprung dyk technic, but i knew I should go.
Josh said "Are you ignoring me?" I replied "I would never ignore you Josh !
" and took two of his invitation cards to another event. He is now an
influential Sydney promoter. I first met Josh in the back room @ voodoo,
and he was always sucking and chewing on a chuppa-chup plastic stick, and I
always shook my head and gave him a piece of Extra Bubble gum flavour.
Strangely enough, when I did this, he would usually say "you're an angel".
On June 10th 2000, the night of the only Paul van Dyk Sydney concert, after
stopping for sushi on at Taylor Square, I drove to Maroubra, and parked
around the corner from the Maroubra Seals Club.
It was a couple of hours until the doors opened. I walked along the bitumen
walkway near the beach. The air was cool on this winter night, but
pleasant. (Yes, June is Winter in the Southern Hemisphere - also, you
cannot see the Vega star in the Southern Hemisphere, so you might think you
are on Vega - with the other Australiens).
The concert started, with a couple of warm up DJs. I met a few people who
knew me. Especially Michael, a guy who I knew from sublime, and danced
with such enthusiasm despite the fact that he hadn't taken anything. Yet.
We came back up from my car.
There were two main areas, the main dance floor, sort of like an
auditorium, and the side area, with another bar. This Maroubra seals place
was not a weekly event, just for special events, like gatecrasher, a few
months earlier (sound system improved since then).
I danced in this second area, and was aware of the lighting guy watching me
through a camera sytem. He matched the lighting with my dancing. I
thought this was obviously one of the lighting guys who knew me, from
somewhere else.
The only other dancer I remember from this area was obviously a professional
dancer. He loved to dance with his shirt off.
As the announcer introduced the start of Paul van Dyk's set I saw people who
were watching me run into the main arena. I followed them. 
PvD started off slowly, playing tracks which were obviously from his new
album 'Out there and back'.
I was in the centre of the auditorium. I felt a new sense of serenity and
purpose. I felt a new sort of connection with the crowd. Now that I think
about it, it was possibly the subliminals from the new album, hitting me
without me realising it. It was the Queen's Birthday Long Weekend.
The sense of PvD watching me reached its creshendo during Thrillseekers
track Synaethaesia. This was a track that DJ Nervous used to play @
sublime, and now that I think about it, was probably a track that PvD saw me
react to when he visited Australia earlier. He followed me during the
main bit, played 3 times, then paused for a 4 beat bar, which i counted with
my hands, then continued @ the direction of my hands. (this is hard to
explain. U need the video. I asked Nervous about the video. He didn't
help.) Because I swim, I dance with my hands and feet. PvD played this
Synaethasia track again near the end of his set (only a 2 or 3 hour set) -
just for me. I felt soooooooooo special. I sang it. People watched.
Before this I did the spherical planetary creation and transfer dance.
This is why people watched. I held my hands above my head, as if holding a
very large sphere. To the beat of the music, I twisted my palms, holding
my forearms steady. Not a particularly spectacular dance move, but one
which the crowd and which PvD saw.
I lowered the sphere to waist height. and then....
PvD put on a noise that can only be described as a garbage truck reversing.
A deep, low, mechanical sound. As I pushed the sphere slowly out @ 45
degrees from my waist, until my full stretch, when the noise stopped.
PvD had created a star. A planet sharing star. I knew this moment meant
a lot. I did not know why, yet. Why is this pill so good?
As I moved sideways across the dancefloor, the blue spotlight followed me.
hmmmmmmm. why? who cares? this is a great night!
After an icey drink I came back to the centre of the dance floor. THe blue
spotlight followed me. Why? hmmmmmmmmm...... who cares? this is Paul
van Dyk's only concert in years. I am enjoying it. Who cares if it it is
better than any concert or night I have experienced in two years of
clubbing?
Just two other things. My hat. Black and red. I now call it my PvD
hat. last set, DJ Bexta, finished with 1998.
Next day, Sunday. I felt soooooooo special. I did not know why.
Bexta played again @ SOS Sounds on Sunday @ the Greenwood. Bexta played
WITH me. I felt the presence of this guy watching me.... but when was his
flight to melbourne? what time on sunday??
People at the Greenwood recognised me because of my hat. They reacted as if
I was special. Who cares why? This is a great weekend.
Jumping Jack, one of my favourite voodoo DJ's stared @ me, on the greenwood
dancefloor. I did not know why. He is usually sooooo professional. What
does this uncharacteristic beaming grin mean?
who cares? this is a great weekend.
And then, over the next couple of months...... I did not know what was
happening. Why were these DJ's playing my name? I am Jason in Sydney?
why are they calling me Laurie? have they discovered my secret identitity?
Do they know about Laurie from Lake Macquarie, the Deputy Mayor who looks
too young, and dances too well to hold such a title?
I listened to 'Out there and back' and knew there was something about it.
but why? ?? ????
I turned up one sunday night at ARQ, with my PvD hat on, and I discovered a
new drug. Fame. Why did they sing songs about me? Why were the
subliminals about Laurie? Why did they know so much about me? What made me
special?
I asked the DJ. He must have thought I was really stupid. He would not
tell me. I became frustrated. "How long do I have to play this game?" I
asked. What does it all mean?
Why am I the centre of attention @ every club I goto. And I don't know why.
All the DJ's pretend not to know.
Am I really that special??
Who is doing this? and why??
what did I do to deserve this???
have a drink
have another drink
drink some more.
forget.
until next weekend.
it starts again. more "Laurie" stuff. drink. why? another drink.
why all this "Laurie stuff"? why all this "poofta" stuff? drink. have
another drink. and drink.
and drink.
how do you know if you are an alcoholic?
walk up Oxford Street. This track comes out of each club as I pass. My
track. why? The bouncers? why? drink.
drink.
Then the three week september 2000 olympic break. Sublime @ home moves to
Sydney Uni, Socog hires 'home' for olympic medal winner events. I goto
olympics, equestrian, water polo, and hockey, take a break from clubbing.
Nik Fish. Why is he so obsessed with me? his whole voodoo @ sublime sets
are filled with subliminals about Laurie. Why? Does he think I dance
like a poofta? He comes back from the Love Parade in Germany, and instead
of new tracks, like the year before, heaps abuse on Laurie, Why? drink.
drink some more.
have another drink.
Do people notice that I don't dance as much as I used to? drink.
Week after Olympics. Goto Plastic. Chief competitor to voodoo @ sublime,
run by Nervous. They treat me like a star. Why? The lighting guy points
star lights @ me. this is fun! I enjoy being a star. but why? drink.
beer. vodka. The superstar.
Saturday night, head north to gosford. Used to drink there 2 years ago.
They recognise me, play the track (my track). Is very weird. This is like
an X-files episode. I feel like an alien.
Is this paranoia? No. It is real. Real Paranoia. I catch the train home.
Listen to 'Out there and back'. It finally hits me. I hear the
subliminals for the first time. Track 2. Pikes. I post to the PvD mailing
list a couple of days later.
Watch the closing ceremony, Sunday night. 'Australian Pee Wee Ferris". As
the fireworks come across the bridge. U will not believe this. "we love
punky brewster, cos he is a poofta"
Speak to Pee Wee a couple of weeks later, @ the mercury, newcastle. "Do I
have something to thank you for in the closing ceremony?" I asked after he
finished his set. "I did the opening ceremony too, but they didn't announce
me". I buy the Olympic opening ceremony CD. There it is, on track 14,
Arrivals. Broadcast to 3 BILLION people. I wonder if PvD was listening?
Lucky no-one can hear these damn subliminals.
some can.
Then it all becomes clear. The PvD fictional character 'Laurie B' who
fucked PvD. PvD's riddle "Am I still a poof?". and the answer - "yes - if
he fucked Laurie B" - but "No - cos he didn't @!#$ me". Just a freak who
asked me questions and took my card. Bastard.
Why did he do this to me? Why does he create the character "Laurie B" as a
poof anyway?
"DO you like Paul van Dyk?"
um
ummmmm
ummmmmmmmmm
LJB
|
25 Under 25: The Young Stars Leading 2013
Disclosure’s awkward fake DJ drama
Hear Daft Punk get twisted for Kanye West’s new album
"Genres are limiting": Five minutes with Tiësto
MOS taps the zeitgeist with 'Melbourne Bangers' compilation
Holy Ship! reveals epic 2014 line-up
Rusko signs with Skrillex; wants you to know he loves drugs
Seth Troxler's advice on the DJ game: "Don't be a dick"
Bloody Beetroots team up with Paul McCartney for new single
Laidback Luke addresses fans who "told me I'm going downhill"
Listen: What So Not's top five club tracks right now
Busy P: "I don't want Ed Banger to be a part of the EDM circus"
Listen: Flume remixes Disclosure's 'You & Me'
Five interview curveballs from Empire of the Sun
you crazy fugg