Meaningless observation Number 467: Realism and computer games have become increasingly passionate bed fellows as the years have rolled by and computer gaming in general has grown up.

Once upon a time, Night Driver proved that all it took was two unbroken whites lines either side of a dotted to transport the player to a world where the night was dark and the road was winding. Things soon progressed and those two white lines were replaced with the back of a Ferrari and the huge eighties hair of a buxom blonde in Outrun, in all of it’s cartoon glory. A stand out for me in the world of car games must be Stunt Car Racer for the Amiga 500. Great, without a doubt, but racing dragsters over stunt courses characterised by thin, platform roads hundreds of feet high is not what you might call realistic.

However, as technology has improved and it’s become far less socially unacceptable for twenty or thirty-year old men to play computer games, more and more titles aiming to achieve realism have emerged. Titles such as Colin McRae’s Rally, the Gran Turismo series and Formula 1 have provided for rev-heads worldwide who demand their gaming experience so real they can almost smell the burning rubber.

The challenge has been to balance the demand for realism with the simple fact that playability is a key ingredient of a good game. Racing a car around a track at breaknet speeds is something that can take years to master, whilst most gamer’s patience with learning how to play a game is limited to hours, or days at best.

Make no mistake; Richard Burns Rally is entirely a child of the realist school. Forget about reading the instruction manual and whizzing your way to a world title in less than a week. It’s time to find out that everything Gran Turismo taught you about controlling a car is nonsense, and instead prepare to get intimate with Mr Tree and Mr Ditch. Start practicing your dodgy Scandinavian accent, as this is more real than a deal that has a certificate of extreme authenticity from the International Society for the Recognition of Real Deals.

Forget diving straight in and get ready to go back to school. It’s just as well that Richard Burns Rally offers a suitable level of training, as unless you’re a fan of being unable to remain on the road for long periods of time, you aren’t going to have much fun without tutelage. It’s pretty comprehensive too. Starting with the some free runs, brake lessons and the like, you soon move up a gear to begin learning how to take bends and turn sexy rally tricks like a pro. Yes, it’s a little tedious, and for those of us who aren’t capable of even reading the instructions that come with IKEA furniture, it’s a struggle. However, it is an essential element of the game that avoids being the afterthought that tutorial modes usually are, and actually gives somewhat of a feeling of learning and achievement.

Anyway, once you’re in, you’ll be glad you did the basics, as this sucker is more complex than female emotional intelligence during menstruation. Richard Burns simply fails to let up from start to finish, offering very little in the way of respite from complexity throughout the various rally stages on offer. The tracks are even more winding and narrow than you’d reasonably expect and the margin for error is smaller than conducting clandestine sexual affairs with two twins called Ellie and Allie who both think you are being faithful to them. Errors are easy to make and very costly. Oh, yes. This game is harder than Ron Jeremy on viagra.

Did I mention the handling? Much like with the twins, the slightest error on your part and you’ll soon find yourself lying in a ditch unable to continue. The key here is to ease yourself in slowly and know your limits. It’s all very controlled (unlike the situation with the twins).

All this adds up to a rather divisive conclusion. Some are going to love this game; others are going to hate it, and it’s pretty easy to work out who is going to think what. Which brings us back nicely to my original point. Those of your for whom realism is a key component of any racing experience are going to love this. It’s about as realistic as you can get and makes Colin McRae’s look like Outrun in comparison. If you are tired of seeing realism sacrificed for speed and are seriously nutty about your Rallying then this is probably the game for you. However, if that is the case, you probably already have this game anyway.

For the rest of us out there who can’t tell the Octane of a fuel simply by sniffing (don’t try this at home kids!) and view rev-heads with a mixture of confusion and sympathy, buying this game is likely to put you in possession of a game that will do nothing more than frustrate. This is a simulation in the purest sense of the word and comparing this to other driving games is like comparing Descent 2 to Flight Simulator. This game takes a level of commitment that will have most people taking it back to the shop before they have even completed the training.

It’s a solid enough game – decent graphics and a good spread of appropriate locations from around the world, as well as the expected selection of Lancers, Imprezas and Corollas basically mean that the game has all the staples you’d expect from a rally game. However, for the average gamer, it’s just not worth the trouble. If you’re the kind of person who has a Holden Racing jacket in your wardrobe, a subscription to Eurosport and your own monogrammed helmet, then chances are your going to love this. For anyone else who isn’t so sure, you’d be best off looking elsewhere for your arcade kicks.

Rating: 4.5 stars for rally freaks, 2..5 stars for everyone else.