Artificial intelligence expert David Levy has suggested people will not only be dating lifelike robots soon, but that we’ll also be experiencing ‘fewer emotional problems’ with our android lovers. All this and more can be read in his latest polemic, published in the Washington Times.

Leading futurologist Ray Hammond concurred that robot technology should soon be sufficiently advanced for androids to simulate consciousness and pointed out that appearances and perceptions matter more than reality anyway. “People already form weak emotional bonds with inanimate objects,” he said to the Washington Times. “And as objects become increasingly intelligent, these bonds will strengthen.”

In related news, Canada researchers hoping to examine the effects of pornography on young people revealed they had to redraft their study after struggling to find people for a control group. “We started our research seeking men in their twenties who had never consumed pornography,” Simon Louis Lajeunesse of the Université de Montréal told reporters. “We couldn’t find any,” he added.