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For many, myself included, the Glade is the Holy Grail of British festivals. Beginning as one of Glastonbury’s electronic stages, it became its own entity in 2004, and has maintained its independent verve against the heavily branded likes of Creamfields and Global Gathering.
Its supporters are some of the most ardent out there, too. You need only look at the dedicated forum gladtalk.com to know you don’t mess with a Glade buff. The reason they’re already discussing 2008 (and will be, solidly, until it rolls around next July) is due in no small part to the staggering line-ups. In previous years you wouldn’t know who was playing until you showed up at the gate – testament to the trust between punters and organisers.
Luckily for me, though, 2007’s line-up was revealed in advance, allowing for much smug forwarding to friends. “Oh look, I’ll be seeing Squarepusher, Richie Hawtin, Apparat, UNKLE, 20:20 Soundsystem, Derrick May and a few other small-time acts in the space of a weekend… but I’m sure winter will be fun in Australia.”
No matter what your interest in electronic music, the Glade has it covered. In addition to the live-focused main stage, there are two areas dedicated to psytrance, one to house, one to techno (new in 2007), one to IDM, noisecore and other brain-scrambling sounds, and another to breaks (this is the festival if you like your beats broken). What could possibly get in the way of options this good? Oh England, how I underestimated thee…
The rain falls heavily on the plain…
It’s somewhat misleading to follow the word ‘English’ with the word ‘summer’, particularly if you hail from the great parched land down under. Sure, no one expects much of British weather, but 2007 marked a new nadir in summery-ness.
So it is that on the morning of Friday 20 July, as I’m packing my wellies for three days of musical wish fulfillment, the heavens open with great purpose. “It never rains this hard in London,” says my British authority. “This is like Australian rain.” The news broadcasts seem to agree. Crops have been lost, townships are underwater, people are swimming out their bedroom windows. The worst affected areas include Berkshire, where – you guessed it – thousands of intrepid ravers are descending on the Glade. Do I reconsider? Possibly abort? Have I come halfway across the world to be pragmatic?
My girlfriend and I get as far as Reading before hearing that the train station closest to the festival is well and truly submerged. We latch onto a rag-tag bunch of hardened Brits determined to make it to the Glade before sundown. Everyone has stories filtered through from friends already on-site – tents have washed away, two stages are closed, people aren’t being let in. Unperturbed, we finally find a cab driver who’ll take us (and many of our pounds). The horror stories are only half true, but one thing’s for sure – the place is in no better shape than your average swamp. Lucky the soundtrack is good.
Given this a camping-only festival, torrential rain doesn’t make for ideal tent pitching conditions. There is nothing at all ground-like about the ground – instead it resembles a less tasty version of Willy Wonka’s chocolate river. And don’t we all love the smell of stagnating mud in the morning?
Mud music
It’d take more than the highest rainfall in recent national memory to dampen a Pom’s spirit. The rumoured stage closures turn out to be false, and from the get go the party is well and truly in swing. Given the Biblical conditions, you can’t fault the determination of the organisers: despite a few re-shuffles and non-appearances, the timetable mostly runs to schedule.
Among the weekend’s highlights are the various incarnations of Tipper, Layo & Bushwacka’s tech-house session in the Sancho Panza tent, Richie Hawtin headlining the new techno arena, UNKLE winning over the home crowd, Trentemoller’s moody three-man show, Apparat and Squarepusher on the final day…the list is as winding as the ATM queue.
Being ankle deep in sludge for three days, though, does tend to chip away at one’s good will. After you’ve perfected the art of ‘in-wellie’ dancing – a method that involves wiggling your feet inside their plastic casing whilst glued to the spot – you need a level of resolve to transcend the soggy surrounds.
For the very shit-faced, though, the mud seems to have a primitive allure. One of the weekend’s best performances is actually an impromptu one: two guys, brown from head to toe, wrestling each other in a bid to see who can catch a rare fungal infection sooner. The crowd that gathers is as enthusiastic as anywhere else on the site.
Not so entertaining is the toilet situation (rest assured that if you go in 2008 things can only be better). For most of the festival, the sewage trucks can’t reach the Portaloos to empty them. The smell, as Kenny says, would truly outlast religion.
By Sunday, nothing remains untouched by filth, but the mood remains buoyant. Surely that says it all. The Glade prevailed against some serious odds and managed to be anything but a wash-out. It’s enough to make a fan out of anyone.
Some handy Glade hints
> Take toilet paper. Lots of it. It might be your only tenuous link to civilised life over the whole weekend.
> Make sure to check out the Overkill tent, dedicated to the more head-fucky forms of dance music.
> Eat good food. The festival fare at the Glade is a cut above the usual battered savs, with lots of hippies selling homemade treats (some of dubious legality).
> Consult the weather forecast beforehand and pack accordingly. If flash flooding is predicted, go anyway.
A great video that sums up the “rather stupid” mission to reach a nearly-washed away Glade 2007.
It’s unknown if this guy survived the weekend.
ml2009 says...
My car still has mud in it ):
sperge says...
Hey, thanks for the name check, but the forum is actually gladtalk.co.uk, the .com is cybersquatted by some dodgy search engine. :-/ Incidentally, in all previous years of the Glade there was no rain AT ALL. In fact 2005 and 2006 were scorchers, even by Aussie standards. $1760 to get here? Man, that's dedication for you! Just bring better weather with you next time, you hear? ;-)