Bottoms Up

Genre: Comedy
Run Time: 89 Minutes
Rating: MA15+
Director: Erik MacArthur
Actors: Jason Mewes, Paris Hilton, Jon Abrahams, David Keith, Brian Hallisay

So this film has gone straight to video, probably marketed on the fact that it stars hotel heiress and recently released jailbird Paris Hilton. I suppose the only other thing you could say about this movie is that is stars Jason Mewes (Jay of Jay & Silent Bob fame) and that’s it. There really isn’t anything else that notable about this film. But in the interests of writing a fair review, I’ll continue.

Owen (Mewes) works at his dad’s steakhouse in Minnesota. Unfortunately, the steakhouse is on the verge of closing down, so Owen travels to Hollywood to enter a bartending competition, the prize money of which would help keep his dad’s business afloat. After losing the competition, Owen and his gay uncle Earl come up with a scheme to make money – by infiltrating the clique of the hottest young actor in Hollywood, Hayden Field. Hilarity ensues (or at least the writers thought it would) as Owen and Earl work hard to dish the dirt on Field and his girlfriend Lisa Mancini (Hilton).

Sometimes I wonder about the whole movie industry. Do directors really think that a movie like this would be worthwhile seeing just because it stars a woman who is pretty much famous for being famous? As much as Paris Hilton is a media whore, her appearance in this movie does nothing to make it a smash hit. Furthermore, I can’t understand how the writers actually thought the story was any good. They must have been smoking crack or something, along with the people who bankrolled this film into production. As a Jay & Silent Bob fan, I don’t think even Mewes can save the film. Sure, his character isn’t too far removed from his more famous persona, but the problem is that he isn’t given much to work with. His character comes off as one dimensional, however always armed with quick one liners.

Hilton, on the other hand, is given a character that for the best part seems just like her real self. Her character is the fashion designer daughter of a film studio owner with a heart of gold. Unfortunately, Hilton only manages to look wooden and wouldn’t be able to act her way out of a paper bag. A change in hair colour from blonde to brown doesn’t give her any more credibility either, nor do we believe that just because her character gave money and spent time with the poor, that Hilton does the same in real life.

I’ll be fair though and admit that Paris Hilton wasn’t the worst thing in this movie. Sure, she’s no Hilary Swank, but when you’re given such a ridiculous script to work with, I don’t think even Swank could do much better. See I like stupid movies, movies that don’t require a lot of thinking that you could easily sit and watch for a few hours. Zoolander, which on paper sounded like one of the stupidest movies ever about the male modelling industry, actually turned out to be quite funny. Bottoms Up, on the other hand, while similarly stupid, is not funny in the slightest (except for a few brief scenes with Silent Bob himself, Kevin Smith). Do as the title says and have some alcohol while you watch this. It’ll make it more bearable.

You need to be logged in to add comments... Login Now

There are 0 user comments