Kelis - Milkshake

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A lot more clubby and synthetic tack than the more hip hop orientated approach I would have expected, especially working alot with the Neptunes and fiance Nas. Kelis has defnately retained that immaculate sex appeal and power always present in her tracks and pulled the show off without being a Britney, Xtina, Avril or Pink. The easiest way to describe this track is oozing sex, the sleazy basslines and the suggestive lyrics are enought to provoke yet not crude enough to disgust. She has got the R rated touch with an MA rating.

A slut song in essence portraying a siren who’s ‘milkshake brings all the boys to the yard’ who could teach you her tricks but she’d have to charge. This reminds me of a porn movie for your ears.

This track does that amazing voice of hers no justice, yet she is confident enough to pull it off and do it well. The beat annoys the living fuck out of me as do most of the neptunes electrohippop beats do and the lyrics are simple like Paris Hilton. Yet we must remember that this is a Pop song and not a thesus on the politics in French Literature of the 1930’s.

All in all entertaining without substance and suggestive without being slutty. A good fun track to pump whilst doing chap laps or dirty dancing with a prospective one night stand, empowering and sexy whilst not the least bit intimidating or overbearing. Not to be taken lightly or seriously.

Now for the Remixes – the short review; they all suck and I hate them. The long review; I’ll explain why.

XPress 2 Triple Thick Vocal Mix – 9 and 1/2 minutes of progressive, minimal shit. Disco house with cut up, warped vocals that completely does not suit the track or vocals at all. One word – Cheesy.

Dj Zinc Remix – Butchers the vocals and adds a cheesy progressive breaks bassline reminiscent of the bad breaks you get at Fractured at 6am in the morning. Try hard progressive electro breaks with wacky drumlines and annoying basslines. Something to be heard at Seven on a thursday night or on Room 208 on Channel V. In other words scary shit.

Freq Nasty’s Hip Hall Mix – First impressions were ‘Freq Nasty, ok, this could be cool’. I take that all back. The track struggles enough with the original beats behind it so why you would want to slaughter them even further. This track really is the epiphany of cheesy, fake, try hard, shit dnb. If you like Freq I wouldn’t listen to this as you may never listen to him again. And that wack MC ain’t nothin back a wack MC.

Tom Neville Remix – It seems it wouldn’t be a cd these days if it didn’t have at least one electropop track that sounds like boogs could spin it on a sunday morning at Revolver and the Neville Remix is exactly that. Weird little glitches and pops, with echoing, haunting lyrics and a typical electro build up into that synthy bassline it’s what all those strange creatures that stay at Revolver from Friday to Sunday would lap up like dogs do water on hot days. Probably the best remix out of the 4 but that’s nothing to go by.

I quite like the original but the remixes get the ass. Too out of character and genre, I’m all for experimenting in music yet do it yourself as opposed to letting other people fuck with your track. Listening from track 2 – 5 is a guarenteed disappointment for any Kelis fan.

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