Voom Voom is a German house project who have a fascination for women who enjoy eating cheese sticks on both ends. That’s at least the opinion I had of them when I clicked onto their my space. In the advent of this internet age one comes across a plethora of oddities that were once considered taboo in years gone by. Then I found out the members of Voom Voom happen to be Peter Kruder (of Kruder & Dorfmiester fame) and Roland Appel (of Roland Appel fame) and went “ohhhhhhhh, they make really quality tracks as individuals… what happened here?”

First thing I recognised was how amateurish and dated everything sounds. Squelchy high pitched synths, acid riffs and equally predictable, uninspiring build ups and lame samples that come from nowhere and don’t fit into the context of the song. There’s also a distinct lack of bass, something the sub woofer on my stereo can actually handle. Like most of their back catalogue, this album will probably never go further than a coffee shop or trendy retail store. It’s enough to get customers in, but not inspiring enough for the consumer to lose focus and break into a hands in the air, reach for the lasers boogie. However, there are some moments with a pulse, like the Prince inspired “Best Friend”, with it’s disco backbeat, jazzy organ keys and high pitched (bordering on the humorous) vocals, yet that’s about as inspiring as it gets.

There’s some faux old school Detroit numbers like “Fish”, which sounds like somebody passing a kidney stone, and it goes on longer than I would hope it would. “Sao Verought” is a broken electro workout with some semi-decent atmospheric samples, but again is very mundane and does not go anywhere interesting. Oggi sounds like a giant insect has been thrown into a reverb peddle, but it’s not long enough to set the coattails of the album on fire. “Urwald” (German for “Virgin Forrest”), the last track on the album, is a creepy low key disco number, and for an album lacking in substance it’s actually a quality song, like a gothically inspired Air – almost a saving grace.

This is the problem with collaborations. With such a wealth of talent involved in this project you would expect a load of inspiration to be poured into every aspect of the process. Instead you have so many ideas, and so much vision on where the music should go. Rather than compensate your own ideals, you try and please everybody all at once, and I think this is what has happened here. Too many cooks, too much talent, and all you’re left with is an album with not enough Voom.