DJ Kentaro’s ‘Enter’ looks great on paper. Ninja Tune will never release a duff album, that’s a given. Kentaro is a whiz on the decks, and he’s got a list of respected men-of-the moment to bolster his cred on the tracklisting. The Pharcyde, New Flesh, Spank Rock and Fat Jon join him for shots of saké in the studio on this, his debut release.

According to turntablist nerd folklore, Kentaro famously won the DMC title in 2002 with a perfect score – the only DJ to do so in the event’s 20 year history. Which if you are over fifteen years of age and actually have a girlfriend may not really mean a great deal. To those who think crabs and flares are related to the fashions of philandering disco kings, one is left to assess ‘Enter’ on the merits of this artist as a producer, irrespective of his rank on the 1200s.

All the turntablist cred and prolific guest spots in the world can’t hide the fact that ‘Enter’ is a mess. In the parlance of Yoda, a freakish ability on the decks a good producer does not make. Bass, handclaps and wack raps. Shake, stir and repeat. The cheesy refrain of ‘Gotta Keep On Dancin, Gotta Keep On Movin’ that anchors the Pharcyde’s dismal contribution will have fans of the Cali legends reaching for eject. At only two tracks in, this nonsense doesn’t bode well for Kentaro’s first outing as a producer.

Kentaro’s take on drum and bass is particularly irksome. His approach takes the most superficial signifiers of the genre and frantically tosses them into a blender with a bunch of scratches and kooky samples. Taking it’s cue from the overblown bombast of Pendulum and their ilk, ‘Trust’ is the kind of bullshit that makes real junglists angry at the world. Graciously, Kentaro spares us any indulgent marathon scratch solos, opting instead to disperse his deft cuts in a less obvious manner. Tellingly, the one foray which centres solely on his turntable dexterity is perhaps the strongest track. With it’s stark minimalism, ‘One Hand Blizzard’ is infused with a funk that has escaped the remainder of this album. That is, until the introduction of a swing beat brings hideous memories of Andy C’s ‘Body Rock’ flooding back.

Kentaro takes elements from hip hop, breakbeat, reggae and drum and bass, but fails to make his hybrids extend from those templates in any meaningful way. As ‘Enter’ progresses, each successive track sounds like a weak dilution of it’s source materials. The resulting album is a confused and forgettable pastiche. When kids are too young to afford real drugs, they find other means to get their crunk on. Snorting lines of Tang. Eight-balls of Wizz Fizz. Imbibing cordial concentrate whilst spinning like a top until a cheap buzz is attained. Kentaro’s ‘Enter’ is kinda like that. The high is short lived, and you’ll be sick of it after only a few rotations. Once the giddy rollercoaster ride of ‘Enter’ comes to it’s abrupt halt, one can only vow not to put such rubbish in their system again.