Is this the greatest club concept of all time?

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By now, you’d be aware that South Africa is a hotbed of forward thinking and continual innovations in dance music and clubbing. As well as Die Antwoord and the one-armed DJ who completed a 60 hour set, the embattled nation now has another notch for its belt: an Avatar themed nightclub.

Well-heeled Johannesburg residents can now head to the city’s newest nightspot ‘Avastar’, which according to an illuminating promo video (below) opened on Friday night. “We created Avatar themed nightclub, based around the movie Avatar,” the cigar-smoking, heavily Afrikaans-accented club owner Mike Basson explains. “We’ve got flamefrowers. Every 10 minutes we gif you a flamefrow display.” That’s not all! “We’ve got like a laser display show on the bar counters,” Basson continues between puffs. “All the laser interacts and comes directly through to your drink.”

Sure enough, a second video of the club’s opening night reveals plenty of those promised flamethrowers alongside a sea of 2004 fashions, a choreographed dance display and topless, body-painted Avatar hosts. What’s more, the grand opening even boasted an appearance from celeb-for-hire David Hasselhoff.

But like any high-brow establishment, Avastar has rules. “If you approach any of my ladies in Avastar, you approach her with an Avastar cocktail,” warns Basson. “Be gentlemen! Ladies, you’re not obligated to give a guy any attention, but be nice!” The website also bans any firearms, however patrons are assured that there is a “gun safe” available on the premises, presumably right next to the cloakroom.

If Avastar makes it to its second weekend without being sued into submission by James Cameron, they’ll be presenting a ‘Fantasy Dreams’ themed night. Hopefully there’ll be some amazing video footage of that, too.

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IamMartin

IamMartin said on the 4th Jun, 2012

I smell an impending lawsuit from James Cameron and co.

Wouldz

Wouldz said on the 4th Jun, 2012

I hope this is a satirical article.

Matthew de Groot

Matthew de Groot said on the 4th Jun, 2012

The crowd look like they're at an RSL...

Morecowbell

Morecowbell said on the 4th Jun, 2012

Hey, Mike Basson! You're a massive dickhead! At best what you've created is somewhere in the realm of the worst kind of acid-trip, at worst it's the worst kind of acid-trip (hopefully) with a lawsuit attached to it. I wish I could burn the place down with his ridiculously large cigar.

i_have_ADD

i_have_ADD said on the 4th Jun, 2012

any club with a 'gun safe' is ok in my books

DHindahouse

DHindahouse said on the 4th Jun, 2012

Its certainly the gayest concept of all time.

CircusMidget

CircusMidget said on the 4th Jun, 2012

does it have wheelchair access?

special ed

special ed said on the 4th Jun, 2012

launch night looks like a night at Penrith Panthers nightclub, but with more fluro.

all class

BPRJ

BPRJ said on the 4th Jun, 2012

Man, that carpet looks kick ass!

lawlietskyy

lawlietskyy said on the 4th Jun, 2012

$20 says the first track they drop is Mory Kante' - Yeke Yeke

Dr Ranga

Dr Ranga said on the 4th Jun, 2012

The only people that will show up will be morons and hipsters. Sorry for the redundancy.

hbomb203

hbomb203 said on the 5th Jun, 2012

all i can hear is dr rudy talking.

that place would be right at home in crown casino.

Weqster

Weqster said on the 6th Jun, 2012

this is south africa. hipsters are delth with "by the community".

mel_v

mel_v said on the 6th Jun, 2012

Lol, hbomb - watching I was thinking that they all look like they are waiting in the lobby to see a movie at Crown, or at Co. :|

hbomb203

hbomb203 said on the 6th Jun, 2012

mellington i read your last post as 'asswipe'.

still works.

KatStanford

KatStanford said on the 7th Jun, 2012

Hmm different... interesting

G Skank era

G Skank era said on the 7th Jun, 2012

Because what I've always wanted in a club is fahbah optic chendeleees.

Warn-A-Brotha

Warn-A-Brotha said on the 9th Jun, 2012

Looks like an RSL club with tacky carpet .. no one is dancing, those that are, shouldn't be. Awkward.