The mainstream media’s fascination with Melbourne gangland figure Carl Williams continues, with a report on news.com.au ‘revealing’ that the “cold-blooded murderer” and convicted drug dealer was responsible for flooding the Australian market with some of the worst pills during his reign of terror.

The source of this shocking (and for Carl, embarrassing) revelation? An online ‘harm minimisation’ forum that news.com.au pegged as an underground drugs forum. “They made the SHITTEST pills in Melbourne,” one of the forum users remarked. “The pills Carl made were [methamphetamine] and ketamine.”

Another member agreed that the notorious ‘Special K’ was indeed the key ingredient in a lot of Williams’ pills. “I know Carl made UFOs and some other press that doesn’t come to mind,” they rambled, unaware they were being watched from above. “But Carl’s pills were full of K like someone else has said, though it was all about quantity not quality.”

While it looks like the already life-imprisoned Williams might be soon facing fresh charges for flooding the Australia market with crap dingas, it appears respectable craftsmanship wasn’t beyond him. All it took was a little inspiration when his mate (and hitman) Andrew Veniamin was shot dead in 2004. It’s said Carl reached a career peak when he produced a special batch of pills, pressed with an ‘A’ or a ‘V’, which the news.com.au report says were some of the best to ever hit the streets.

“I know that the notorious [beige] A’s & V’s which were circulating Melbourne around 2004 were apparently a tribute pill to Andrew Vienaman (sp?) and they were one of the best pills I’ve ever had,” the story quotes, with another user also reminiscing about the good old days. “Oh I remember those beige A’s they were f**king awesome I loved them along with a lot of other people would of I’m guessing… If only there was a few hundred thousand in storage somewhere and they did the rounds again… Oh that would be heaven hahaha.”

Carl didn’t come off so lightly when the discussion turned to his choice of fashion, with his auspicious love of the tracksuit making its way onto many of his pills by way of unauthorised Fila, Fubu and Puma logo placements. “Carl likes his sportswear,” joked one poster. “Even though he’s a fat prick.”