Wannabe Tasmanian drug dealer's epic fail with blue M&M's shipment

www.inthemix.com.au
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If ever there was an ‘epic fail’ of attempted big-time drug deals, then this is it. When 21-year old Dwayne Grant Seabourne admitted to police upon return to Tasmania last year that he’d flown back from Melbourne with $6000 worth of ecstasy in his luggage, little did he know that the Melbourne underworld had duped him with something else entirely – a shipment of 400 delicious blue M&M’s, to be precise.

“He returned to Launceston with what he believed were ecstasy tablets,” Crown prosecutor Jackie Hartnett told the Burnie Supreme Court last month. “He purchased 400 tablets for $15 each…intending to sell them for $30 each.”

However, The Advocate reports that when being interviewed by police, Seabourne didn’t express the relief that you’d expect when it became clear he’d been spared a lifetime behind bars. Instead, his response was instead much closer to anger – that those wily underworld crims had done him over! “He felt someone had essentially ripped him off,” Hartnett told the court. Dastardly underworld villains that they are.

While the state has yet to pass any laws banning the trafficking of blue M&M’s (as deliciously addictive as they may be), the prosecution argued that Seabourne should be sentenced on the “basis of the evil intended, not on the basis of the evil that could have been accomplished”.

Arguing in Seabourne’s defence, counsel Katie Edwards claimed that any harm that could have come from his “particularly unsophisticated attempt” to deal drugs was effectively nil.

ITM reckons that Seabourne got owned. Not just by the Melbourne underworld, but by his own defence lawyer too! Let us know what you think in the comments below.

Nobody has hearted this, be the first Be the first!

Comments

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SlicyDicer

SlicyDicer said on the 1st Jul, 2009

I think I had some of those blue M&m's, they were pretty good.

WADZA

WADZA said on the 1st Jul, 2009

epic LOL for an epic FAIL

daverh

daverh said on the 1st Jul, 2009

I'm waiting for the update in a week's time: Seabourne is now holding his breath and stamping his feet following the Melbourne underworld's admission that there is no Easter Bunny...

vinh_

vinh_ said on the 1st Jul, 2009

mine were sweet not tangy like usual

BillyBoi

BillyBoi said on the 1st Jul, 2009

lol So Dumb who gets 6 thousand Worth and doesnt Get a Look at them ? silly Kid

Juzzzy

Juzzzy said on the 1st Jul, 2009

LOLLYP0PZTEHL0LZoRzLMaOzzZZOMG ABHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA

rancho

rancho said on the 1st Jul, 2009

with a name like dwayne, im not particularly surprised hes retarded.

halla

halla said on the 1st Jul, 2009

What a fucking NUGGET...

trancejunkii

trancejunkii said on the 1st Jul, 2009

HAHAHAHA what a douche. sif u don't taste test. moron

Astro-Boy

Astro-Boy said on the 1st Jul, 2009

Oh, Tasmania, you do provided the lols.

kevmcfadyen

kevmcfadyen said on the 1st Jul, 2009

brilliant!! How could you not spot the difference!!

rorkass

rorkass said on the 1st Jul, 2009

im experiencing one of those EMBARRESSED moments.. like when i watch really bad acting on TV (neighbours) i have to look away and cover my face in disbelieef!!! TOO MUCH

Anthony Azzopardi

Anthony Azzopardi said on the 1st Jul, 2009

How would you not notice that they were M&M's. That kid hould be counting his lucky stars they were though!!!

weston

weston said on the 1st Jul, 2009

LOL DC!!!! Wonder what the guy looks like.

ProjectwJs

ProjectwJs said on the 1st Jul, 2009

the bigger idiot would of been the person who purchased the M&M's from him.

rew22

rew22 said on the 1st Jul, 2009

Thanks ITM -- who's paying the dry cleaning ? Some wee may have just come out after reading this.

nauplius

nauplius said on the 1st Jul, 2009

*cough* decoy*cough*

Bromantis

Bromantis said on the 1st Jul, 2009

ITM reckons that Seabourne got owned. Bromantis reckons that ITM needs to attempt funny articles without falling back on clich, tired old gaming talk.

LifeOnMTV

LifeOnMTV said on the 1st Jul, 2009

so how did they catch him? i don't get it, why did he get arrested in the first place? did he just confess or something?

trAse

trAse said on the 1st Jul, 2009

Stop saying 'epic fail' you fucking dumbshits.

Edstacee

Edstacee said on the 1st Jul, 2009

"It became evident I had been stooged when I crushed two of them up and it melted before I had a line.."

djbricksta

djbricksta said on the 1st Jul, 2009

"with a name like dwayne, im not particularly surprised hes retarded" - HAHAHAHAA thats classic

alianne

alianne said on the 1st Jul, 2009

LOL thats sooo funny. What an idiot!!! M&Ms are fuckin' OVAL.

narcism

narcism said on the 1st Jul, 2009

chocolate is quite addictive :P

jack bundey

jack bundey said on the 1st Jul, 2009

what do you rekon he dacked them? they must have melted on the trip there not to mention the clearly marked white M on each one. i wonder if they were just regular or crispy cause those crispy ones are gnarly.

krazy1

krazy1 said on the 1st Jul, 2009

yeah, im still stuck on how he got caught.... drug dogs dont usualy pick up m&m's.....

Nixtol

Nixtol said on the 1st Jul, 2009

Melts in your arse, not in your hand?

dazza_b

dazza_b said on the 1st Jul, 2009

EPIC FAIL LOLOLOLOLOLOLOMGWTFLAOROFLBBQ "hey these are m&m's, not e!" " No theyre not" "Hmmm you got a good point there, i'll take $6000 worth"

Trackmasta

Trackmasta said on the 1st Jul, 2009

Dumbass doesnt know how lucky he is!

Zappaz

Zappaz said on the 2nd Jul, 2009

EPIC FAIL OF THE YEAR AWARD to this guy! hahahhahahah classic!

MatthewWow

MatthewWow said on the 2nd Jul, 2009

if anyone's interested i know a guy who can get his hands on 400 yellow eccys and 400 green ones...

thomthom88

thomthom88 said on the 2nd Jul, 2009

What would have been hilarious would be when he went to a club to sell them. He would have got into the night, gone to a couple out of his pocket for someone and had a hand covered in chocolate, hahaha! now THAT would have been funny!! As if you wouldnt

Citizen

Citizen said on the 2nd Jul, 2009

He's gunna be gutted when he finally realizes that kilo of "coke" sure as hell ain't from Colombia!

bussyboy

bussyboy said on the 2nd Jul, 2009

In related news - Melbourne police are investigating an unusal case of fraud...

turkman

turkman said on the 2nd Jul, 2009

kekekekekeke! this made my day so far!

JDeli

JDeli said on the 2nd Jul, 2009

Apart from the fail of being ripped off with chocolate he also got a very crappy price considering he has to risk going through an airport. lololol

s2n-mikey

s2n-mikey said on the 2nd Jul, 2009

this definately provided the lulz

Peakin Pecan

Peakin Pecan said on the 2nd Jul, 2009

@Citizen: the kilo of coke he buys next will be from Amitel

minxus

minxus said on the 2nd Jul, 2009

Did he get discovered at the airport? I'm thinking this would make the BEST episode of Border Security. I also want to know how he got caught?

Kenno26

Kenno26 said on the 2nd Jul, 2009

Why is eveything EPIC these days?

Mylkdup

Mylkdup said on the 2nd Jul, 2009

OMFG OWNED SO BAD HAHAHAHAHA

rafe

rafe said on the 2nd Jul, 2009

dwayne shoulda swapped his mind-blowing m&ms for a sack of BINDEEZ! woulda avoided arrest too. it's a strange world.

jinx-blood

jinx-blood said on the 2nd Jul, 2009

Take 3 parts castor sugar, 1 part citric acid powder... mix thouroughly together... bag.. and sell to some tasmanian wanker at $400 a gram... she'll be right ;)

Mitch Anderson

Mitch Anderson said on the 7th Jul, 2009

Didn't anyone hear trAce, the words "epic" and/or "fail" used in any combination are really f%#ing painful. Come up with something else and stop going with the flow because it seems cool. Be your own person.