Latest Story
Creamfields lineup 9am Wed!
The biggest entry to the festival calendar for 2010 is here, and tomorrow morning... [more]
CHANGE CITY :
Wannabe Tasmanian drug dealer's epic fail with blue M&M's shipment
Created On July 1st, 2009 by angy
If ever there was an ‘epic fail’ of attempted big-time drug deals, then this is it. When 21-year old Dwayne Grant Seabourne admitted to police upon return to Tasmania last year that he’d flown back from Melbourne with $6000 worth of ecstasy in his luggage, little did he know that the Melbourne underworld had duped him with something else entirely – a shipment of 400 delicious blue M&M’s, to be precise.
“He returned to Launceston with what he believed were ecstasy tablets,” Crown prosecutor Jackie Hartnett told the Burnie Supreme Court last month. “He purchased 400 tablets for $15 each…intending to sell them for $30 each.”
However, The Advocate reports that when being interviewed by police, Seabourne didn’t express the relief that you’d expect when it became clear he’d been spared a lifetime behind bars. Instead, his response was instead much closer to anger – that those wily underworld crims had done him over! “He felt someone had essentially ripped him off,” Hartnett told the court. Dastardly underworld villains that they are.
While the state has yet to pass any laws banning the trafficking of blue M&M’s (as deliciously addictive as they may be), the prosecution argued that Seabourne should be sentenced on the “basis of the evil intended, not on the basis of the evil that could have been accomplished”.
Arguing in Seabourne’s defence, counsel Katie Edwards claimed that any harm that could have come from his “particularly unsophisticated attempt” to deal drugs was effectively nil.
ITM reckons that Seabourne got owned. Not just by the Melbourne underworld, but by his own defence lawyer too! Let us know what you think in the comments below.
SlicyDicer says...
I think I had some of those blue M&m's, they were pretty good.
WADZA says...
epic LOL for an epic FAIL
Juzzzy says...
LOLLYP0PZTEHL0LZoRzLMaOzzZZOMG ABHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA
campbellt says...
ha ha ha, Unlucky!
BillyBoi says...
lol So Dumb who gets 6 thousand Worth and doesnt Get a Look at them ? silly Kid
vinh_ says...
mine were sweet not tangy like usual
daverh says...
I'm waiting for the update in a week's time: Seabourne is now holding his breath and stamping his feet following the Melbourne underworld's admission that there is no Easter Bunny...
rancho says...
with a name like dwayne, im not particularly surprised hes retarded.
trancejunkii says...
HAHAHAHA what a douche. sif u don't taste test. moron
halla says...
What a fucking NUGGET...
Astro-Boy says...
Oh, Tasmania, you do provided the lols.
rorkass says...
im experiencing one of those EMBARRESSED moments.. like when i watch really bad acting on TV (neighbours) i have to look away and cover my face in disbelieef!!! TOO MUCH
kevmcfadyen says...
brilliant!! How could you not spot the difference!!
Anthony Azzopardi says...
How would you not notice that they were M&M's. That kid hould be counting his lucky stars they were though!!!
ProjectwJs says...
the bigger idiot would of been the person who purchased the M&M's from him.
weston says...
LOL DC!!!! Wonder what the guy looks like.
the elektro kitten says...
Blessing in disguise LOL!!
foujee says...
LOL omg failll
nauplius says...
*cough* decoy*cough*
rew22 says...
Thanks ITM -- who's paying the dry cleaning ? Some wee may have just come out after reading this.
VelocideX says...
Fail?
narcism says...
chocolate is quite addictive :P
alianne says...
LOL thats sooo funny. What an idiot!!! M&Ms are fuckin' OVAL.
Aftertouch says...
peasant
DJHUI says...
Hahhahah
djbricksta says...
"with a name like dwayne, im not particularly surprised hes retarded" - HAHAHAHAA thats classic
benjiswan says...
Next Underbelly?
bjonbjonbjon says...
What a noob.
Edstacee says...
"It became evident I had been stooged when I crushed two of them up and it melted before I had a line.."
trAse says...
Stop saying 'epic fail' you fucking dumbshits.
LifeOnMTV says...
so how did they catch him? i don't get it, why did he get arrested in the first place? did he just confess or something?
jpinar says...
ROFL!
Zappaz says...
EPIC FAIL OF THE YEAR AWARD to this guy! hahahhahahah classic!
Trackmasta says...
Dumbass doesnt know how lucky he is!
dazza_b says...
EPIC FAIL LOLOLOLOLOLOLOMGWTFLAOROFLBBQ "hey these are m&m's, not e!" " No theyre not" "Hmmm you got a good point there, i'll take $6000 worth"
Nixtol says...
Melts in your arse, not in your hand?
krazy1 says...
yeah, im still stuck on how he got caught.... drug dogs dont usualy pick up m&m's.....
jack bundey says...
what do you rekon he dacked them? they must have melted on the trip there not to mention the clearly marked white M on each one. i wonder if they were just regular or crispy cause those crispy ones are gnarly.
Bromantis says...
ITM reckons that Seabourne got owned. Bromantis reckons that ITM needs to attempt funny articles without falling back on clich, tired old gaming talk.
Citizen says...
He's gunna be gutted when he finally realizes that kilo of "coke" sure as hell ain't from Colombia!
thomthom88 says...
What would have been hilarious would be when he went to a club to sell them. He would have got into the night, gone to a couple out of his pocket for someone and had a hand covered in chocolate, hahaha! now THAT would have been funny!! As if you wouldnt notice though. having seen many different types in my decade career as a user, ive NEVER seen any that brightly coloured and would defiantely be checking them out if i was buying 6G's worth - plus, arnt MnM's circular pills with M's on them - this guys deserves it!!!
MatthewWow says...
if anyone's interested i know a guy who can get his hands on 400 yellow eccys and 400 green ones...
bussyboy says...
In related news - Melbourne police are investigating an unusal case of fraud...
turkman says...
kekekekekeke! this made my day so far!
samlannen88 says...
haha
s2n-mikey says...
this definately provided the lulz
JDeli says...
Apart from the fail of being ripped off with chocolate he also got a very crappy price considering he has to risk going through an airport. lololol
minxus says...
Did he get discovered at the airport? I'm thinking this would make the BEST episode of Border Security. I also want to know how he got caught?
Peakin Pecan says...
@Citizen: the kilo of coke he buys next will be from Amitel
Kenno26 says...
Why is eveything EPIC these days?
Mylkdup says...
OMFG OWNED SO BAD HAHAHAHAHA
rafe says...
dwayne shoulda swapped his mind-blowing m&ms for a sack of BINDEEZ! woulda avoided arrest too. it's a strange world.
jinx-blood says...
Take 3 parts castor sugar, 1 part citric acid powder... mix thouroughly together... bag.. and sell to some tasmanian wanker at $400 a gram... she'll be right ;)
Mitch Anderson says...
Didn't anyone hear trAce, the words "epic" and/or "fail" used in any combination are really f%#ing painful. Come up with something else and stop going with the flow because it seems cool. Be your own person.