Norman ‘Fatboy Slim’ Cook unleashed an angry tirade against DJs mixing on Ableton this week and vowed to keep using vinyl for the rest of his career.

“At the risk of sounding like a grumpy old man, part of the theatre of DJing is people putting on records,” the 40-something superstar told Mixmag, “‘I don’t even play CDs”.

Fatboy’s in-touch-with-his-feelings complaint coincided with the publication of a new report by Britain’s Sleep Council which revealed that women are significantly grumpier than men both when they wake up and throughout the morning. The survey of over 2,000 Brits revealed that being grumpy is significantly more common amongst females, with 13% of women bad tempered for four hours after waking compared to 10% of men. 40% blamed lack of sleep for their woes.

“Many more men than women claim to get a good seven nights sleep a week,” spokeswoman Jessica Alexander told the BBC, “So perhaps it is not surprising that more women than men get out of bed on the wrong side.”

In more battle of the sexes news, a 72 Romanian man got into in trouble with authorities for getting angry with his 70 year old wife, and locking her in a chicken shed for a week to teach her a lesson.

“I knew she was cheating on me and I locked her there in the coop so she wouldn’t be tempted to do bad things,” he confessed (ananova)