It’s been a tough day here at ITM HQ. We’ve been stuck racking our brains trying to figure out exactly which level of hell has spawned this atrocious new sub genre that’s being called both ‘emo-house’ and ‘crabcore’. The seemingly too-awful-to-be-true genre came to our attention with the new clip from punks Attack Attack! and their single Stick Stickly, which looks to become a new meme thanks to the band’s nimble crustacean-like moves.
The track itself is a mess of contradictions, as the uniformly black T-shirted band (with matching straightened hair, no less) break out with some overblown thrashing and throat-scraping screams, they then decide to throw in some synchronized mosh-moves, crab-walks, piano-ballad solos, auto-tuned verses and then… wait for it… a thumping Euro-house breakdown. It’s like somebody had diarrhea of the brain.
Attack Attack!’s strides in the development of emo-house come hot on the heels of that other dreadful combo, emo-crunk, made famous by the severely challenged quartet BrokeNCYDE. That group just released their debut album of cringe worthy emo-rap, featuring songs such as Freaxxx, Get Crunk! and Sex Toyz. You can’t make this stuff up.
It’s not every day that we get to be there at the birth of a brand new genre, so we all should feel pretty privileged right to bear witness to the beginning of emo-house, right? Yet somehow, we’re feeling more queasy and disturbed than anything. It’s like we’ve eaten some bad chicken. Or in this case, some bad crabs…
ITM doesn’t expect anyone to be able to sit through the whole thing, but at least skip to the 2.46 mark for the cheese-house part…
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