Scottish MP opposes swingers club

Scottish MP Margo Macdonald has condemned plans by London swingers club Killing Kittens to launch a new branch in Edinburgh, after the up-market sex club announced they’re looking for premises in Scotland’s capital. The club advertises itself as ‘the network for the world’s sexual elite’ on its website, and insists applicants are only accepted after being ‘judged on not only aesthetic but also on charisma and success.’ “If your application is accepted you will join many rich, famous and beautiful kittens,” the website promises. “In what is becoming the cutting edge of the international party and networking scene.”

Ms Macdonald, an independent MP, was unimpressed, however. “I would welcome this as much as I welcome the hen nights and vomiting parties that come to Edinburgh,” she told the Daily Record. Killing Kitten’s emphasis on ‘sexual elite types’ from the ‘international party scene’ could prove flaccid judging by an article on the Huffington Post, in which numerous experts suggested unusually high achievers could be particularly adversely affected by the global economic crash. “Today’s kings of the universe want to be macho, have the ability to buy anything, go to great restaurants and order great wines,” veteran New York psychiatrist Lynne Maidman said. “And when they’re thwarted in this respect and become depressed, sex has to suffer and that’s precisely what’s happening.”